A/N: I really hate writing boohoo-why-me things so that's why this one took a felt like I had to write through grit teeth, but at least most of it's over now. I replayed Persona 3 during the time period between this chapter and the previous one to take some notes and I found some interesting things. Shinjiro's motto in the game is "what happens, happens" which also explains why he's seen standing in the back alley in front of the club, Que Sera Sera.
He deals with the consequence of his actions and just whatever happens to him in general, but that doesn't mean he's flighty he just accepts punishment whether or not it's deserved or not. I think that's why he takes suppressants, quite school, and just lives life like a hobo. He stole a life, so he takes his own.
I don't think Shinjiro will be brooding for long (at least let's hope so for my sake), but I'm the kind of writer that goes with the flow. Planning ahead only makes me overthink/get stuck on things so I hope this chapter isn't a disappointment.
Infinite Carnage: I love Shinjiro's character too! I wish he had a bigger part in Persona 3, but we can't all win. Thank you, I really like the analyze characters, but I have to admit it's hard piecing together how Shinjiro would react to this situation given the limited amount of dialogue he has in the game. I hope it's in character, it seemed right as I was writing it.
MissHanamura: Ah, thank you! I'm sorry to disappoint you then for making this one come weeks after. I have a lot of unpublished stories on hold in case I get stuck on this story for far too long so hopefully you'll always have something to read. Thanks for always commenting it really gives me motivation to write! I would like to think I put in a lot of thought and detail so I'm grateful that you've noticed that!
Also, if it isn't too much trouble let me know what you think of the lengths of these chapters. I keep thinking they're not long enough. I had an extra 500 words for this chapter planned, but I thought stopping here was a better ending. Ugh the struggle.
Disclaimer: I don't own Persona 3 but I wish I owned Shinjiro.
On to the good stuff.
It was the day of his release and Mitsuru came into his room carrying a bouquet so grand it seemed to consume the room whole. His incredulous look must have been enough to voice his confusion.
"I wasn't sure how to celebrate the occasion," she spoke and her words were as crisp as winter despite her apparent embarrassment, "Perhaps this was a bit excessive."
"Didn't you know cut flowers aren't meant to be brought into a hospital?" He scoffed but amusement coated his words. She was silent, but the look in her eyes almost commanded him for an explanation. Scratching the back of his neck, he muttered, "They keep the patient bedridden longer because they steal the patient's 'roots'." He looked away with a visible grimace. This was stupid, "You hear shit like that all the time on the streets. Forget about it." It was a story he heard in passing Raffelisia's flower shop in Port Island. Why it stuck to him to this day or why he felt the need to say something to her, he would never know.
"I see," She brought a hand to her chin, and he almost chuckled at how seriously she seemed to take the old wives tale, "Although, I highly doubt a few flowers will keep you in that bed any longer." Her red lips smirked as though she approved of his recovery, "Akihiko told me to inform you that he will be here shortly to take you to the dorms. I unfortunately, have other matters to attend to."
"I don't need either of you to walk me around," he barked. She said nothing and the sound of the her setting the vase down on his beside table and her wry smile was her only response.
Akihiko told him the night before that his room in the dorms was still available. Even though it seemed that Akihiko was more surprised about his awakening than he was, the boxer was as resilient as ever. The way he casually left the night before with a, "I'll come pick you up tomorrow" made it seem as though he were just in deep slumber.
He almost wanted to punch him for keeping his room vacant, but the thought of putting them both in the hospital kept him restrained. He didn't want a single part of him to be left behind, why else would he keep that room so scarcely furnished during his temporary reunion with SEES? It almost made it seem as though they all expected him to wake up, but Mitsuru quickly extinguished that thought. With a satisfied arched brow she mentioned how much Akihiko had matured over the years following his hospitalization. "You would be proud of him," she said as she closed her eyes briefly—as though she were trying to forget a linger memory.
A part of him felt relieved that there was something to return to, even if it was just the dust settling on top of his unused desk.
He smiled slightly, a smile so subtle he didn't even realize the slight quirk of his upper lip, when he remembered her. Her face was an amalgamation of so many things like bright eyes and a mouth that curved upwards whenever she spoke. And the words she would say would always come across as thrilling and dripping with optimism that you felt believed in. Her eyes would widen when she smiled, and her brow would wrinkle together when she teasingly frowned and despite the burden of carrying a team on her shoulders, they would never hunch under the overwhelming pressure. She was as unpredictable as her infinite abilities, yet so simple to read when she walked up to him with an emboldened look only to say the words only she would be able to string together: "Can I go to your room?"
"How is she?" The words slipped out of his mouth and if it wasn't for his stubborn sense of pride her name would have been the first words muttered through his chapped lips. Even to this day, she seemed to be the only thought in his mind. Her crying face was the last thing he could remember, and even though it had been years, to him it felt like just the other night. Whether that was due to the effects of a coma, or how vivid she always appeared he would never know.
"She?" Mitsuru's fingered finally stopped rifling through her files of papers. Her expression was unreadable like a mixture of pure confusion and a loss to grasp any of his words.
He looked away. God, he must have looked like an idiot. A part of him couldn't help but be slightly disappointed that she wasn't the first on to appear before him when he woke up. How would she greet him? Did she still feel the same way? Maybe that was the reason why she didn't show up at his bedside with that radiant smile and a few reassuring words that he needed to hear specifically from her lips. After the stained pause, he looked back at Mitsuru. Why was she so silent? Even she, with her sheltered catering life, must have figured out who he was referring to.
She seemed frozen in place.
All the air of elegance and poise that she usually carried with such nonchalance and ease, was carelessly thrown in away in one revealing moment. Something had gone terribly wrong, and it didn't take him long to patch it together.
"What the hell have you been hiding?" Fear was now paralyzing him more than his aching muscles and following that was anger so unadulterated it only be defined as red.
"I-I didn't mean to keep it from you, it just happened so long ago I—"
"Whaddya mean 'long ago?'" It had only been a year and a half since he was bedridden. The lost time all seemed to collide too quickly and the headache resonating from the back of his mind was a result of ricocheting off a wall of ignorance. He knew the day they he woke up and took various tests of health that the Dark Hour was gone. Mitsuru didn't even look at the clock twice when a minute passed Midnight without its usual sickly, pallid green hue. There was no doubt in his mind that the team would put a stop to Strega, the Dark Hour, and the rising numbers of the Lost, but he didn't even bother to ask at what cost. It all seemed so strange and inconceivable that months seemed to fly past him while he was still moving on with a fresh bullet wound to his chest, but they were only subtle scars now.
"What exactly happened while I was dead," His words were scathing hot now and they dripped acid as they spilled uncontrollably out of his mouth. Was Minako in the hospital room next door? Did she move somewhere? Was she—
The look on Mitsuru's face said it all.
"Dammit!" He can barely contain his thoughts and with his remaining composure he slams his fist against the wall next to him causing the room to thunder under his dwindling sanity. And if that isn't enough, the door slams open.
"Shinji are you alright? I heard a noise—," Even with his debilitating muscles, he could still rely on his empowering stature. And with the force of an enraged ox, he stomps toward him to grab Akihiko by his pristine white collar.
"Why didn't you protect her?!"
Akihiko glanced toward Mitsuru before his gaze shamefully lowered to the tiled floor. From a simple look, he knows that they've all come to terms with it. She's a distant yet fond memory to them while she was still so incredibly fresh in his mind he could practically taste her in his lips.
"I'm sorry…I couldn't do anything to stop it."
It didn't even register to Shinjiro to ask what "it" was. All he could think of was how stupid he was to ask her to protect Aki, when in the end it was just the opposite. The punch he refrained from the day before his full force now as he pummels his right knuckle straight into Akihiko's lower right cheek What he wanted was Akihiko to fight back, to give his usual left hook straight at his jaw. Instead he stood there lifeless, blood dribbling down his nose in complete compliance. She really was gone, and at some point they all irreparably suffered from it. At this point he didn't know what was worse, her death or that now he was awake to realize it.
He looked past Mitsuru to the bouquet sitting beside his bed. All he could think of was how incomparable the flowers were compared to her radiance and how he wished they would consume every inch of him until he's back to his eternal slumber.
The flowers in the hospital room stealing a patient's "life energy" to compensate for their roots is something I made up or a subconsciously picked it up from something. Either way, I'm pretty sure flowers are more than welcome in a hospital.
I just enjoy playing around with a few themes and flowers have been one that I've used before this story.
Because of my slow pace, I decided to leave a hint of what you can look forward to in the next chapter!
Chapter 4 will probably consist of a lot of Shinjiro's inner thoughts and how he deals with moving on from this or if he even wants to move on. I'm pretty sure there are still a few suppressants left in that coat pocket of his! And don't forget, we never heard back from the doctors about Shinjiro's current health. A pretty little bird told me that suppressants have quite the side effect...
