Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything from Twilight! Nor do I own the song!

There's another world inside of me
That you may never see
There're secrets in this life
That I can't hide
Somewhere in this darkness
There's a light that I can't find
Maybe it's too far away...
Or maybe I'm just blind...

Or maybe I'm just blind...

So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
Hold me when I'm scared
And love me when I'm gone
Everything I am
And everything in me
Wants to be the one
You wanted me to be
I'll never let you down
Even if I could
I'd give up everything
If only for your good
So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
You can hold me when I'm scared
You won't always be there
So love me when I'm gone

Love Me When I'm Gone by Three Doors Down

"Bella please lower your voice. I finally was able to get Renesmee to sleep and you are going to wake her up if you keep screaming." I sighed running my fingers through my hair as my wife glared at me with such hatred one would beleive she to be my enemy instead of my wife.

I never thought something like this could ever happen to Bella and I. I had seen many human marriages fall apart in all my years of existing but I suppose I beleived because I happened to be a vampire, I would some how become above such things as divorce. I had trusted the love I held for human Bella would last forever. As it turns out I had been wrong.

When Bella had been human I honestly did love her. Well I think I did. I hope I had loved her because knowing I had once loved her did not make me feel like such a monster as the thought that I hadn't loved her at all and still ended her life due to my selfishness. I can admit now to myself anyways that the true reason I turned Bella was because I could no longer take being alone.

I had forced myself into believing Bella to be my soulmate so I would not feel like such a failure anymore. After existing for so long hope of finding my true mate, the one who was made for me seemed almost an impossible feat. They day Isabella Swan moved into the deary town of Forks with her silent mind and tantalizing blood, I'd foolishly beleived she was who I had been waiting for all along.

It did not matter that she wasn't physically my type. I thought that to be something we could work around. Looks are only skin deep anyways right? If Bella truly was my other half I would eventually be able to find her physically attractive. Atleast that is what I kept repeating in my mind whenever I questioned my feelings for the human.

Bella was the one for me I kept saying trying to beleive it. She had to be because she's the only mind I've never been able to read and if I can't learn to love her then I would be alone forever. So I did what I had to do. I forced myself into loving her or rather I forced myself to love the idea of Bella.

Since I happened to be unable to read her mind I could pretend she really was the kind of woman I waited my whole existance for. I became able to image she actually was funny but not to funny mind you. Just the right kind of funny with the twisted type of humor I am known for. I could imagine her to be smart but not so smart she liked to show off in front of others.

In my false reality Bella was sweet even though she would slap me in the face if I ever spoke those words outloud. I could pretend she had a temper when she did not get her way. My perfect Bella would never whine since she considered it to be a waste of time. She could bitch of course but never ever whine. Whining was for weak people and not people such as my dream Bella.

Pretend Bella could get me without needing to hear words I may speak. One look at my expression and she would know every little thought which passed my mind. She could read my emotions easier than the pages of a book. With one touch she could make all my troubles and fears disapear and the only thing left remaining would be her. With one smile cast my way I would be gone. Completely lost in everything about her.

Fake Bella would be a hell cat if you did something to piss her off. She wouldn't want me to control her even though I would try to because it is how I had been raised when human. She wouldn't take my emo crap as she called it. If I became lost in self pity she'd shake me out of it before doing something off the wall to make me smile and laugh. We would push and pull eachother until we wanted to crack but in the end it worked for us. To bad it took me marrying the wrong woman to realize my perfect woman did exist in the form of one Leah Clearwater.

I know what I am doing with Leah is wrong. I am a married man with a daughter. I should be trying to work on my marriage for the sake of my family. In all honestly I had tried I really did. When I first started talking to Leah Clearwater I only wanted to be a friend. She seemed so lost and confused and hurt.

I could see how much it bothered Jacob knowing Leah wasn't happy and how guilty he felt for feeling the happiness he did with my daughter. I decided to do him a favor by befriending her. If Leah became happy then in turn Jacob Black would feel elation and because of that my daughter would be happy. Whenever her imprinter seemed depressed my daughter fell into a slump as well. I couldn't bear to see this so my mission was to bring light to the she wolf's life. Her happiness would be cause for the happiness of those around her including my daughter.

Then something changed when something inside of myself had seen something in her I wanted to save. Probably I had seen a part of myself which was forever lost and I wanted to save her before she wound up like me. A cold bitter impersonation of my old self. I knew the pain of being alone for over a century and I did not want her to suffer such extremes. I could never make Sam Uley love her again but I could be a friend. Someone to lend an open ear when she needed.

A friend is what I tried to be at first. Yet she threw my efforts back in my face with twisted glee. My kind words bounced off of her skin and hit me full force in the face. My offers at friendship laughed at before she stomped them into the ground and spitting her venomous hatred upon where they rested. She made it clear on day one she did not want anything from me and that included well intended friendship.

Giving up though is not in my nature. When she turned a cold shoulder to my efforts my reaction was to try harder. The more she pulled away the more I pushed myself in her direction. The faster she ran I would chase after her just as quickly. She tried to hide and I would find her. It became a routine I grew accustomed to over time. Something I began to look forward to more than anything else in my monotone daily routine.

After a few months of this chasing and running my feelings began to change shape and form. They evolved from a simple offer of friendship to something deeper and forign to me. Instead of wanting to spend time with her I needed to spend time with her. I had to crack the puzzle that was the she wolf Leah Clearwater. I lived for her biting comebacks and scathing insults ment to make my blood to boil.

Leah of course thought I was stalking her to make her life even more miserable. She often claimed I got off on her pain. She liked to take digs at me whenever she was able. If she couldn't scar me on the outside she would do it from the inside. Internal scars were more lasting anways. Now I understood why she tried so hard to hurt me. She was afraid I would leave her and treating me like dirt ended up being the only way she could express her feelings.

From her mind I once caught a stray thought she couldn't conceal from my mindreading skills. Maybe if I make him as fucked up and bitter as I am he will stick around. He's one of the only friends I've got left. I don't want to be left behind again. Can't let the leech know I care or he will run. They always run from me. Even my own father was unable to stick around.

After stealing that small peice of information from her mind I knew deep down she did not truly hate me. I think she liked our routine almost as much as I did but her fear made her unable to admit it incase I disapeared from her life like so many people had in the past. I silently vowed I would never leave her side. She would never have to feel the pain of loss again. I'd stay by her side until her dying breath and even after she would always be in my heart.

The day everything changed started off normal enough. I followed Leah scent into the woods near my home and she snapped at me for bothering her. We did our usual back and forth squabbling as per daily routine and then something in the air shifted and changed. Static electricity filled the space between us. Her words were sharper and crueler than normal. She pushed and shoved me away from her mentally screaming she did not need me in her life. That she did not need anyone and never would she need anyone again.

I knew something was wrong I could feel it. So I pushed right back because I couldn't stand the thought of her no longer in my life. She could not get rid of me that easily and I would prove it to her. I wasn't like Sam, Emily, or even Jacob Black who hardly talked to her anymore because he'd become more consumed with my daughter. He cared for her still but she wasn't his priority and that is what she needed. Someone who could put her first and I desired more than anything to be the person for that job.

I held her while her fists connected with any part of my body they could find. I kissed her shattered knuckles she'd gotten from planting her fist in my face. I kissed the top of her head, her face, her neck, and shoulders. She never once stopped me or even thought of asking to me to stop or I would have.

She tried to act like she did not want me but I could read her mind I knew she wanted me and to my great suprise I wanted her as well. We made love for the first time that day and while we engaged in the act of loving making I realized I was head over heels in love with Leah Clearwater. It wasn't a simple crush or anything remotely close to what she would later claim my feelings to be.

I was forever chained to Leah Clearwater because I loved her. I was in love with her and I always will be. The love I feel for her will never fade not that I would want it to. I loved the way she laughed at my twisted jokes. I loved her smile which one rarely saw. I loved how she touched me and the way she talked to me even if it resembled yelling more than actual talking.

I loved how she stood by her beliefs no matter what. How she didn't swoon over me like every other woman I know. She could call on my bullshit and even if I never told her to her face, I respected her for that. She wasn't anywhere near the same as Bella. She did not see me as some wonderful man with no flaws. She saw my flaws and pointed them out every chance she got. She may not want to accept it but I was in love with her and nothing can ever change my feelings.

"Are you even listening to me?" Bella's high pitched screech knocked me out of my thoughts and back into reality. Her hands rested on her hips as her golden eyes stared at me filled with annoyance that I had stopped listening to her many minutes ago. "Damnit Edward! I don't know why I even put up with your crap anymore. I am your wife and you can't even respect me. Infact, you go out of your way to disrespect me."

According to Bella everything I did and everything I would say turned out to be the wrong thing. I try to suprise her on our anniversary a year after our marriage and she screams at me for hiding things from her. All I had wanted to do was suprise her by taking her to our meadow and playing a new peice I'd composed for her. To bad I hadn't been warned my actions were a capitol offense.

Trying to keep my anger in check I took in a deep breath and blew it out through my nose. "What have I done this time Bella? Are you angry that I let Nessie have a second peice of cake?" I asked not meaning to come off as sarcastic. In all actuality something as simple as letting my daughter have an extra slice of cake could cause an earth shaking argument between Bella and I these days. "I appologize for not clearing it with you first. Since it happened to be her birthday I thought she deserved the extra treat."

Bella's eyes narrowed into slits. "Don't you talk to me like I'm some sort of child!" Yet it was perfectly alright for her to treat me like one? Explain the logic in that one for me. "You know perfectly well why I'm angry with you."

My shoulders fell while I wondered how long it would take for her to get the point. She's wrong if she thinks I have a clue as to what I did this time. With Bella I never knew anymore. Good thing for me she decided to let me on the big secret earlier than usual. "You kissed Leah Clearwater! Your a married man and you willing kissed that no good slut!"

A growl rumbled deep within my chest. My body started to shake and Bella must've realized she said the wrong thing because she flinched away from me. She knew Leah and I were friends and I didn't take well to her insulting my friend. Isabella could not stand it when I talked to another woman especially Leah. She hated it when anyone talked to Leah Clearwater because it ment for a second their mind wasn't on her and she couldn't let that stand.

"I kissed her on the cheek because our daughter tried to do something sweet for a friend. If it had been Jacob Black she was trying to cheer up you'd be the first to offer!" I snapped at her showing my teeth.

My wife, (Hopefully soon to ex wife just as soon as I could convince Leah she's the one for me.) snarled right back as her face twisted into an ugly sneer. "You can never let go of the past can you? You'll never forgive me kissing Jacob the day of the newborn battle. Is that why you kissed that skank today? Did you want to make me jealous?"

I wanted nothing more than to scream things aren't always about you right in my wife's face but refrained. As stated earlier I did not want to wake up my daughter. Instead I ran my hands through my hair. "Bella this had nothing to do with Jacob Black and your past together. I only stated the truth and you know it. If it had been Jacob today instead of Leah, you would've been the first one to offer to kiss him. He is your friend and Leah is mine. Why is it your allowed to have friends yet I am not?"

She crossed her arms and gave me a dirty look. She made sure to convey her message through her expression. She could have friends because she was Isabella Cullen and above those around her, including her husband. "I never said you couldn't have male friends. Besides, I let you spend time with Alice and she should be the only female friend you need."

My fists clenched at my sides. "If that's the case then you shouldn't need male friends am I correct?" When she went to protest I lifted my hand to cut her off. "No Bella you can't have it one way for me and completely another for you. If I am not allowed to have female friends then you should not be allowed to have male ones."

Instead of realizing the truth behind my words Bella chose to lash out at me with her words. "Your trying to control me! I can't have a normal life with you always needing to know where I am! Your whining all the time and asking questions as to my whereabouts. I cannot have a moments peace!"

I willed myself not to sink to her level. She only wanted to get me angry so she could claim I was some how mistreating her. "Isabella," She hissed when I used her full first name. "you go out at all hours of the night and day. I hardly ever question you since I know everyone needs time to themselves. The only reason I ask you what time you'll be home once in awhile is because our daughter wants to know why you won't spend any time with her."

This time Bella lashed out physically and slapped my cheek with the palm of her hand. "Now your calling me a bad mother? How dare you? Get out of my house right this instant!"

I did not bother mentioning the little fact this was my house and not hers. I wanted to get out anyways and if she wanted me gone then fine. Slipping on my coat and grabbing my cell phone and car keys slipping them inside my coat pocket. Next I jogged up the stairs to pick up a sleeping Renesmee.

I knew she would wake up when I lifted her but I couldn't risk leaving her here with her mother. The last time I'd done that I came out a few hours later to find out Bella left our daughter alone after telling her she was the reason why Bella and I were fighting all the time. She told Renesmee she had ruined her life. She also felt it nessasary to inform Nessie that Jacob was hers and she wouldn't let anyone including her daughter take him away from her. I had spent hours convincing my daughter it wasn't true and I would damned if I gave Bella another chance to break my daughters heart.

Nessie's eyes fluttered open. "Daddy?" Her nose crinkled up when she heard her mother downstairs screaming. "Am I going to spend the night at Aunt Rosie's again?"

I nodded because I knew Rosalie would understand. Suprisingly my blonde sister knew of my relationship with the shapeshifter. She accepted it even though she told me point blank I should divorce Bella and not jerk Leah around this way. I happened to agree with her on that.

"Yes little one. You'll have fun with her I promise. Mommy is in a cranky mood and I think it would best if you stayed with Aunt Rose and Uncle Em for a while." Since getting their own little home near my parents, Rosalie and Emmett often babysat for me. They were a blessing in disguise. My other family members watched Nessie but I know my daughter was closer to Rosalie than anyone else. "You can stay up and watch movies if you want."

My daughter smiled and buried her face in my shirt as we made our way down the stairs. I tried to make it to the door before Bella said anything else but wasn't quite fast enough. "Where are you taking my daughter?"

I turned to face her and made sure to cover Nessie's ears. "To Rosalie and Emmett's for the weekend. You are being irrational and I won't make my daughter suffer because of it."

My wife made a grab for Renesmee but I stepped out of her reach. "My daughter loves me! I'm her mother."

I grabbed the door knob behind me and turned it slowly. I would probably have to make a dash for it if I knew Bella which I did. "Yes you are and I feel sorry for her because of that. She loves you even though you do not deserve it with the way you treat her. When you can talk to me like and adult and with rationality we can talk but not until then."

Some how I managed to make it out the door as a vase hit the wall beside the door spraying glass and water all over my back. I hunched over to be sure none of the shards got close to my daughter who was crying softly and replaying the words her mother often recieted to her when I wasn't near. I caressed her hair with my free hand and began to pull the door shut with the other.

"Your a coward! Run you fucking coward! It's what your good at after all. Just keep running away because your not a real man. I should've chose Jacob over you! You ruined my life and chained me to you by knocking me up when I didn't want a baby!" I ignored the words my wife threw after me as I closed the door.

After driving Nessie to Rosalie and Emmett's and explaining what happened, I exited the house and pulled out my cell. There was only one person I wanted to see right now. One person who could make me remember why life was worth living. The one woman in the world who gave me a reason to keep going other than for my daughter.

I punched in the seven digit number and let it ring three times. When a sleepy voice answered I couldn't hold back a smile. "Hello oh mighty leech. How can I be of service for you today?"

My reply was simple yet true. "I need you. Meet me at our spot in twenty minutes." When she replied with an 'alright' I hung up the phone and ran in the direction of the woods.

TBC..

AN: So this chapter was suposed to contain the sex but because it got so long I cut it in half. I tried to show you why Edward is the way he is and I hope I managed. In the next chapter will be the long awaited (for me atleast) sex scene between Leah and Edward. You will also get more insight as to why Edward did not let Leah leave when she tried to and why he threatened to go to the Volturi. Please let me know what you thought about this chapter.

Reviews make me happy and you want me happy cause that means I will want to write the next chapter faster. So the simple answer to faster chapters? REVIEW! In case you didn't get the hint I'll let you in on the secret..I was begging for reveiws. Did it work? By the way I wrote this all in one night so do I get bonus points?

Please R&R like always!