Hey there all! Sorry for the wait on this one, I've been busy with school and oneshots lol. Not much to say about this chapter other than I hope y'all enjoy! Oh and I really hope I did the BP scene justice. Something similar happened between me and a few friends a couple weeks ago and it managed it fit semi perfectly with the story lol Thanks to Corey for looking over this for me and Enjoy!
She wakes up later, finding herself in her bed, the blinds half shut and the light off. Her pillow is wet and it's then that she remembers what happened. She remembers fighting with Nathan, seeing Michelle's baby, breaking down into nothing but sobs in the middle of the hallway. After that it's nothing but a messy blur and she slowly crawls out of bed.
She walks down the hallway, rubbing her cheeks to try and get rid of the slight stickiness her tears had left. "Hey." She looks up and sees Nathan holding a sandwich in one hand, a few chips in the other. She stares at him blankly, unsure what to do after her breakdown.
He pops the chips into his mouth and puts down his sandwich, brushing the crumbs off of his fingers onto the plate. He feels like he should ask how she's doing but he already knows. She lets out a heavy sigh and walks over to him, taking a bite of Nathan's sandwich and slumping down on the stool next to him. "Where'd you find food to make a sandwich?" She honestly can't remember the last time she went shopping for food.
"Haley brought over lots of food. You're making me go broke Davis."
She wants to smile at his words but it's still hurts too much. So, she just leans her head on his shoulder and keeps picking at the food on his plate. "I didn't mean to yell at her."
"I know," he replies, patting her hand softly.
It's raining, something that's very unusual for this time of year. Usually, it'd be snowing but it's been a little warmer lately. So water falls from the sky in huge drops, hitting the ground and changing its color. Brooke sits on the swing at the playground she used to frequent when she was younger. She closes her eyes and vividly remembers Peyton's curly head and scraped knees swing rapidly next to her. She herself is in pigtails that reach the top of her legs and she has a pink Band-Aid on her arm from the shot she got earlier that day. They both giggle uncontrollably and have bits of chocolate cookie smeared on their lips from the bag of oreos Brooke had snuck from her house.
She sighs and opens her eyes, Peyton standing in front of her. They stare at each other blankly before the blonde silently walks over and sits on the swing next to her. The rain starts to come down violently but neither move, instead just sway back and forth slowly. "I'm sorry," they both say it at the same time and if they hadn't then they probably wouldn't be looking at each other now. They both have apologies to make, some of which will be harder than others.
Peyton goes first. "I shouldn't have reacted the way I did, but it was hard ya know? You had already pushed me out of your life and then you tell me that? I could barely stomach any of it." She moves her legs a little, putting her in a slow steady swing. She doesn't look at Brooke, a little ashamed for waiting so long to tell her once best friend this.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," Brooke whispers in the rain, tightening her grip around the linked chains. "I knew how much you like him and I couldn't believe I allowed myself to go that far." She hates that things have become so complicated. They're only seventeen. They shouldn't have to face these problems. She just wants to be the little girl who runs around with her best friend, cookie crumbs embedded in their lips, laughing. God she misses laughing. Especially with Peyton. In middle school they could lay on Peyton's bed and just laugh for hours about nothing. She lets out a shaky sigh and Peyton digs her feet down into the wet wood chips and it's when the opposites look at each other. "I should've been a better friend to you."
Peyton lets out a laugh and Brooke's confused. "I was thinking the same thing," she says quietly. Brooke smiles sadly through tear filled eyes. "I love you Brookie." She gets up from her swing and stands in front of Brooke. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I made you feel like you couldn't tell me about Lucas and that I walked away from you when you needed me most."
Brooke nods and shuts her eyes too late because the tears have already started making their way down her cheeks. "I'm so sorry Peyton," she cries and Peyton's arms are wrapped around her as soon as the words leave her lips. Brooke wraps her arms around Peyton's waist tightly and sobs into her chest. She manages to tell the blonde more, more of what she's feeling but not the things she herself barely thinks about. She just cries about her parents, and about their broken friendship, and the loss that she's gone through.
She doesn't say it though. Won't say baby, not again, not now.
"I love you," Peyton repeats over and over, kissing the top of Brooke's head softly.
It's the only thing she can think of to try and make it better.
Lucas slumps down on the sofa next to Haley who's been uncharacteristically quiet. He watches as she bites her thumb nail, her other hand changing the channels with the remote she stole from him. "Hales," he says, concern almost evident in his voice. She looks up at him with a blank face, waiting for something more to come. "What's wrong?"
She says it quietly and simply with her chin ducked down against her chest. "Brooke." She considered lying, not sure if he was ready to handle anything regarding the brunette quite yet. She doesn't look at him, instead refocusses on the TV and he doesn't move at all. He's still facing her, not blinking and would probably be unresponsive if she tried talking to him.
"What's wrong with her," he stammers out, this time his words laced with worry. She sighs and turns off the tv before repositioning herself so she's facing him completely. She takes his hands in hers before looking up at him.
She shrugs halfly before taking a deep breath. "Nathan had a..." she trails off, trying to figure out how to phrase it, "a talk with Brooke today." His face is confused and then worried and she smiles softly to try and calm him. "It was emotional and he had to take her home but he just text me and said she was fine."
She sees his back hunch slightly, his posture depleting. She knows that he knows Brooke's not fine. Because if it were, Haley wouldn't have been so quiet and she wouldn't have taken his hands in hers. He swallows hard and opens his mouth. "What happened?" Haley bites her lip, not wanting to explain what happened in that hallway at their school. "Haley," he pleads with her and s he shakes her head.
"She saw a friend today," she starts, choosing to leave out the fact that Nathan yelled at Brooke, "with her newborn."
His jaw tightens and his eyes stay open, never once blinking. He swallows hard and she fells him tighten his grip on her hands slightly. "Is she okay," he asks quietly and she tosses her head from side to side.
"As much as she can be." He nods and drops her hands. He wants to see her, see if she's really okay. He needs to take care of her but knows that he can't. So he paces back and forth, running a hand through his dirty blonde hair.
"Have you seen her yet?" She shakes her head and locks eyes with him, the blue bleeding with confusion and love. She knows what he's going to ask even before he says it. "Will you?" She stands up, still leaving him answer less. She wraps her arms around her best friend tightly. "She has to be okay hales," he whispers and she nods.
"She's getting to that point Luke. She's working on becoming better... it just takes some time." She moves and takes his face in her hands. "This is good," she manages to get out, praying that her words were true. "This is a step in the right direction." She doesn't make any empty promises because she knows it'll only hurt more when it doesn't come true.
Brooke walks back into the apartment, alone once more, and looks at the empty space. It's clean now, thanks to either Nathan or Haley, but it looks almost like a show home. Everything seemingly perfect and in its place. It reminds her of her parents.
She sighs and locks the door behind her, still sliding that metal chain into its clasp. She needs to keep everything locked out, at least at night. Because at night, her own demons come out and the horrid nightmares she can't escape play in her mind. She can't deal with everyone else at night, not when she can't block out the memories that can't be erased.
Tonight's a little different though. Tonight she isn't numb. She is forced to feel everything she's repressed for the past couple months. She doesn't want to feel the pain but too much has happened today for her to try and pretend. The tears start falling one by one for the third time that day. Her mind, body, and soul aches and it's becoming hard for her to breathe. She begins shaking and in one swoop, she's on the floor, sobbing into her wet clothes. She feels even worse than she did before and she wants so badly to return to the complete darkness that had once enveloped her. It'll hurt less than it does now.
He walks up the wooden steps, paying no attention to the rain that falls from the sky. Haley had called him a few hours ago to tell him that Brooke wasn't home when she stopped by but that she left a note and was going over first thing in the morning. That isn't good enough for him though. He needs to make sure she's still alive and doing the best she can.
One light is on, very dim through the window. He peers in slightly, looking for the girl he was once so close to. He doesn't see her, but he knows she's there, he can feel it. He doesn't knock though. Doesn't say a word because he doesn't know how to act or what to say to her any way. So he just slumps down on her porch, his back against the wooden red door.
He lets out a heavy breath and before he realizes it, tears start making trails down his face. They fall at a slow rate, just a small little fraction of the amount of tears he knows he could cry; the amount of tears he wants to cry. He hates that he's so chicken shit now but he can't help it. The last couple times he's talked to Brooke haven't ended well and now that she seems to be letting it out, he doesn't know what else to expect.
And for now, possibly for always, all he has is his memories with her. He has no mementos, no items that we're specifically shared between them. Just the memories that bring so much joy and pain to his life.
So he sits, just like Brooke, against the door that separates everything they were and everything they can be.
He walks through the hallways of Tree Hill High, hating the fact that science was his next form of torture. Today is simply not the day for him to do anything. He just wants to go back home and try and catch up on the sleep he lost because he was stilling on his ex... whatever's porch.
But then he sees her at the end of the hall, walking in his direction and his breath hitches in his throat. He continues walking, trying not to stare and he almost falls over when he hears the quietest "Hey Luke" over the sound of the busy hallway as she walks past him.
He turns around, hoping that she's stopped and is waiting for him but she's not. She doesn't even look back, just keeps walking and he wonders for a second if she really said it.
But when Haley walks up to her, concern written all over her face, glancing over at him before looking back at Brooke, he knows she did.
