THREE
Maura wriggled her toes under her covers, cracking the knuckles. She was positively livid with herself. She was sweating despite the below freezing winds howling outside her window, and she could feel tears of anger burning in her eyes. Why did she go through Jane's trash? That wasn't like Maura; that wasn't who she was. She didn't go looking through people's things when her curiosity was spiked. She ignored those inklings and waited for whatever was bothering her to find its way to the surface and for that person to tell her.
She furrowed her eyebrows to the black vastness of the night and begged for an answer. Why? All she wanted to know was why, because she knew she had to tell Jane the next time she saw her. It would eat away at her otherwise. They'd had dinner in relative silence with the television on playing reruns of some show; Maura wasn't concentrating. She answered questions when Jane asked her, trying not to let the atmosphere dull out. She'd told her that she was from New York and that she grew up in Manhattan, although her family wasn't 'rich' rich, but they had money.
But when Jane asked why she moved, she just said that it was time and nothing more. She left pretty soon after they finished eating whatever pizza they could fit in, and Jane gave her half of what was left so she headed across the chilly hall to her apartment. She'd meant to finish unpacking things so that she could go exploring tomorrow, but she'd just placed the pizza in the fridge and stripped down to her underwear and jumped into bed. She pulled the covers up to her ears and sighed, wishing that what she'd done was a bad dream.
She furrowed her eyebrows again. It was so 'not Maura' and she honestly had no idea why she'd done it. She must've thought on it for hours before she dropped off into a light and rather restless sleep; not exactly what she'd hoped for, for her first night in a new city. She heard the stirrings of the city waking up on the street below as the first hazy light of day streamed in through her windows and filtered through her thin curtains. She sighed heavily; her eyes still closed, and let out her breath with a small grumble. She was still as frustrated with herself for last night as she was last night, and had an adrenaline rushed kicking fit until her covers fell to the floor. The cool air bit at her exposed skin and she whined as she sat up and pulled her covers back onto her bed.
Maura looked at her bedside clock and figured that she'd may as well stay up as it was just after seven-thirty. She reached back to the floor and picked up her sweater from yesterday and pulled it over her head. She got out of bed and winced as the floor almost instantly numbed her feet. She tip toed to her bathroom and washed her face, splashing some excess water at her own bin when she saw it in the corner, almost taunting her. She pulled her knotty blonde hair into a loose bun at the back of her head and walked back into her room to open her closet. She picked up a pair of black sweatpants and pulled them on before hearing a noise outside.
She shuffled over to the door, the legs of her pants puddling at her feet as they sat loosely on her hips. She peered through the peephole and saw what she expected to be Barry leaning against Jane's door frame. He appeared to be in his mid-twenties and had the yummiest shade of chocolate for skin. She mentally added chocolate to her shopping list for today. It seemed as if he'd just returned from an early morning run; the patch of sweat at the back of his sweater showing he was a bit of a fitness buff. He turned to his side and laughed at something Jane said, a mouth full of perfect white teeth shining through the misery of Maura's morning.
Suddenly, Barry stood up straight and moved back to his apartment, leaving Jane at her door. She looked at Maura's door, and although Maura knew Jane couldn't see her, she ducked away from the peep hole. She felt like a guilty child hiding from their mother, and she hated that because, one, she was a 22 year old woman, and, two, her mother wasn't even in the same state as her anymore. She always felt growing up that no matter where she was, if she did something wrong, her mother would know or would find out very soon, so little Maura tried to be good. And even though there was over a thousand miles between the two Isles women, Maura was sure that her mother would find out somehow and do her trademark motherly shake of the head with a few 'tisks', and then the low toned line of, "Maura; I'm very disappointed in you."
Maura shook her mother out of her head and stood back up to look out of the peep hole. Jane was closing the door to head back inside and Maura instinctively opened her door and called out. "Jane, wait!"
"Oh, hi Maura," the tall brunette said, trying to smile through tired eyes.
"Oh, you were going back to bed, weren't you? I'm so sorry. I'll talk to you later," she rambled.
"Maura, it's okay. Barry actually woke me up. He thought I'd like to join him for an early morning run."
"He looked like he'd already been for a run."
"You saw him?"
"Yeah, I heard you two talking so I looked through the peep hole," she confessed, a little embarrassed.
"He asks me at least once a month if I'd like to run with him, but I don't run when it's freezing outside. I just don't feel up to it."
"Me neither," Maura agreed, leaning against her door frame as Jane did against hers. It felt natural between them again.
"When were you going shopping?"
"Today sometime. Why?"
"I finish work at noon, so I could swing by and we could go together if you like?"
"I'd like that."
"We'll have to be careful though; 'cause Barry always asks me if I want to go shopping with him, and I always say no, or that I've already done it."
"Does he just flirt too much? I saw him flirting with you before. He's very... full of himself."
"He is."
"But he's got the nicest skin."
"Doesn't he? It's like chocolate!"
"That's what I thought!" Maura laughed.
"But seriously, I wish he would stop flirting. Three years of it, and I always say no. You'd think he'd get the hint."
"Yeah, I mean, you could just tell him you're pregnant," Maura joked.
"Yeah... wait," Jane stopped, standing up straight. Maura's eyes went wide and she clamped her hand over her mouth. She stood up from the wall and hunched her shoulders as she placed her other hand over her mouth as well. "How do you know I'm pregnant?" Now, if Maura could lie, she could just fake that she didn't know and that she was just kidding around and had no idea whatsoever that Jane was actually pregnant.
Too bad she can't lie.
"Oh, my god, Jane; I'm sorry," she tried to backtrack.
"How do you know? Did Vince tell you?" Again, if only Maura Isles could lie.
"I saw the pregnancy tests in your bin last night when I went to wash my hands."
"Oh," Jane said, ready to drop it as it seemed like a complete coincidence. But Maura knew that she was still lying.
"I actually couldn't see it, but I was curious, so I-"
"You went through my trash!?" Maura opened her mouth to explain, but nothing came out. "Who does that? And we just met; it's not like we've been friends for ages; we're complete strangers!"
"Jane, I'm sorry, but..."
"But, what?" Jane said, trying, but failing hopelessly, to keep her voice low. Maura opened her mouth again, but silence. "What, no excuse?"
"I don't have one!" she argued, but the look on Jane's face looked like she'd just been slapped.
"You don't have one?"
"I don't know why I did it. I don't do that; it's not like me! I just don't know!" Her eyes shifted from Jane's, to her crossed arms in front of her, to her bare feet going white from the cold, and back up to her eyes; her angry, yet sad eyes. "I'm so sorry, Jane." Jane didn't say anything, but her frown remained, crinkling her pretty forehead. She looked at her watch and turned to go back inside. "Jane!" Maura called, not wanting it to end like this.
"I have to go to work, Maura." And with that, the door closed and Maura was left alone and cold in the hall. She retreated back into her apartment when she heard doors opening downstairs and down the hall. She felt so many things at once; she wanted to cry and punch things; to drink heavily and pass out; to crawl back into her bed and smother herself in pillows.
She dropped to her knees facing the closed doors that separated her from what could have been a great friend and cried. Long, shuddering sobs that took all of her breath away, and she didn't know why. She'd known Jane for no more than twelve hours, but she felt like she'd just lost someone she'd known all her life. She pulled herself up and wandered over to her bed. She stared at it for a moment or two, not quite knowing what to do. She wanted to crawl under the covers and huddle into her pillows, but with this intense feeling of sick in her tummy, it didn't seem like such a good idea.
She picked up her phone from her bedside table and walked over to her sofa. She slouched into it and pulled a blanket from the arm of it over her feet. She could see out the window and see the sky through the morning fog and smoke. It was cheery and blue; so betraying to her feelings at the moment. She scrolled through her phonebook until she reached 'Mother' and dialled. After three short rings she heard a familiar, yet sleepy voice answer.
"Maura, it's eight in the morning on a Saturday. Go back to sleep."
"I made a friend, Mother."
"Good for you, baby, no go back to bed."
"And then I fucked it up."
"Maura!" That woke her up. Maura smiled at her devious self, although it was the perfect word for what she'd done.
"Sorry, but I did."
"It's alright, darling. We all make mistakes."
"What; no "I'm disappointed in you" talk?"
"Darling, I know I said that a lot when you were growing up, and I only said that because I felt so terribly upset, but you have blossomed into a beautiful young woman, and I have never truly been disappointed in you."
"Thank you, Mother."
"And if you really want to be friends with this person, then you will find a way to fix it. Whenever your father upset me, he learned after a while to just say sorry and mean it."
"He learned?"
"Men are clueless, darling. They need to learn." Maura chuckled, feeling a little better after her mother put things into perspective.
"I do want to be friends with her."
"Oh, it's a 'her'?"
"Mother, have you ever known me to care about a friendship with a man this intensely after one day?"
"You're right. What's her name?"
"Jane."
"Very sweet. Is she attractive?"
"Mother!"
"Well, is she, or isn't she? I already know she is, but I'd like to hear you say it," Maura's mother calmly stated.
"She is," Maura said after a dramatic sigh. "Very," she added at the end in a very hushed tone.
"Just don't let her hurt you like that professor of yours did."
"Weren't you disappointed in me about that?"
"What? That you snuck out of the house in the middle of the night, or made up field trips just so that you could stay at her place for a few nights?"
"All of it..." Maura said, feeling regret for how she'd acted.
"Sweetheart, you were in love."
"Was I? I'm not too sure."
"You were; you just fell for the wrong person. But don't let that deter you from falling again. If you like this Jane, then you apologise and learn from your mistakes."
"Thank you, Mother. I love you."
"I love you, too, my darling Maura. Now go to sleep."
"Yes, dear," Maura obeyed, then hung up, hearing her mother's chuckle at the end of the line. She placed her phone down beside her and sighed. She heard the traffic of the street below, and decided to open her window to gaze out. She pulled her curtains aside, opened the window and leaned out. The warm rays of sun kissed her skin, warming it against the cold breeze and looked down to the people starting their mornings; walking dogs, buying groceries, some unlucky ones off to work. Among them was Jane who pushed open the heavy apartment building door and walked out onto the pavement. Her dark wild hair caught Maura's eye immediately as she marched past the weekenders on her way to the diner down the road. Maura followed Jane with her eyes until she rounded the corner and vanished, off until she returned at around noon.
"I suppose I'll be shopping alone today," she said to herself as she pulled herself back inside and moved to the fridge to have her pizza for breakfast.
