Chapter 3: Fading
Note from the author: I have been working on this fanfic for quite a while. I jot down little bits of thought while doing my reception job—it's been an incredibly challenging bit of work for me to do. All chapters are still in their first or second edit phases and will probably be edited continually if a portion of the story just doesn't seem to fit right. Please check on this story regularly to catch the details that have been altered. Again, this story is an alternate reality beginning before "Sein und Zeit" and "Closure".
"Mulder…" Scully searched his face, hoping that she had finally reached him to bring him out of his trance.
He looked at her, nodded, poorly hiding a wave of emotions—sadness, elation, and hope—beneath a layer of shock. Mulder focused his attention on the doorway waiting for a sign that this was real, that this wasn't just his imagination. Mulder didn't want clarity to reveal that he had only imagined her there.
"Hi…" Allison's face was frighteningly similar to Samantha's minus a few tiny details.
"Hi—" Scully smiled softly at her. "You must be Allison."
"Yep!" Allison grinned at them, a smile extending ear to ear, innocence shining like a light from darkness.
"I'm Scully, this is Mulder," Scully marveled at how well adjusted this child was and how strong she appeared to be.
"I know, Melani told me," Allison sat down in a kid's chair on the opposite side of the coffee table, pulling a backpack beside her on the floor.
Mulder finally pulled himself together, if not for himself but for Allison's sake. "Allison, do you know if you can help me and Scully to know what happened to your Mom and Dad? We want to find out who did this to them."
"I don't know what happened after the light came. I couldn't see anymore and then the noise came. I kept calling for them but they didn't come for me. Then the wind picked me up and made me mess up some of Mommy's flowers. When it stopped I found Mommy, then I found Daddy…they weren't breathing anymore. They looked scared—very scared," Allison was staring down at a water stain on the table as she explained what she could fathom.
"You're very brave, Allison," Scully looked at her, hoping to keep her in the calm state she was in as she noticed the slight agitation in her mannerisms.
"That's what Melani says—I miss Mom and Dad. I know they aren't coming back and I know I won't see them for a very, very long time. I didn't want to be scared, needed to be brave for Mom and Dad," Allison hadn't looked at Mulder yet. "I needed to be brave because they weren't able to be brave."
Scully felt her sadness as she watched the first tear drops begin to fall against the wooden surface of the coffee table from Allison's eyes. She knew in her heart that this was definitely the first time anyone had seen her cry since the death of her parents. Mulder's eyes closed for a moment to collect his thoughts—to let her weep. Scully found a box of tissues and put them on the table next to Allison's hands. She blew her nose and looked up at Scully, then at Mulder. He wasn't quite looking at her yet.
She looked at him, eyes full of sadness and confusion until he looked at her. A glimmer of hope and adoration began to spark as she spoke. "I know you."
"What?" That was all he could muster as she spoke.
Allison stood, tears still streaming down her face, and walked over to Mulder. He didn't know what to do other than sit there, dumbfounded, as this child stared into his eyes. Her eyes lit up as the pieces began to click into place for her. He could see the world through her eyes, even though the vision was a little hazy.
"I know you, here," Allison's fingers pointed at his eyes, smiling through her tears. "I knew you'd come find me."
"What do you mean, Allison?" Mulder was taken aback by her words, trying to make sense of them.
"Mom said I was special—that I was given to her by another Mother. She had a family; a Mom, a Dad, and a brother. Mom thought I would be mad about it but I wasn't," Allison hurried to her backpack and pulled out a photo album, turning the pages quickly. "She wanted me to know who my other family was—for if I ever came to know them, or they ever wanted to know me. She had pictures and articles about them, so I'd always know. It was so I always had a piece of them with me. I wanted to remember them, even if I hadn't met them yet."
Mulder was at the edge of his seat, his stomach turning with both eagerness and fear, as she turned the photo album towards him. "This is her Mom and Dad…"
He looked upon the pictures in the first pages, various articles and little pictures about his own parents—their wedding, announcements about them, photographs of them when they were married and other stages thereafter. His heart was beating so loudly that he couldn't hear her talking anymore. Mulder couldn't grasp reality as his fingers traced each letter at the bottom of the page, "Grandma and Grandpa." He shuddered as he turned the page to find his birth announcement followed by photographs from when he was a child, his graduation from High School, and then his acceptance into the FBI academy. Underneath the most recent photograph he found the words written in heavy pen "Uncle Fox."
"That's you, you're him—" Allison's words drove through him like a truck, invading the most painful places of his heart.
He began to cry, unable to contain the flood of emotions, as he turned the page to find photos of his sister. There were a few of her childhood and ones from after her abduction, next to Jeffrey Spender as a teenager, and finally, one of her pregnant. She was in her twenties at least in her pregnancy photo. She was smiling softly, but she looked like she had been or was ill. Each photograph of Samantha had a caption under it that said "Mom", pulling at each little string of his heart to draw out the already growing guilt and sadness of what he'd missed. He didn't want to believe it but also wanted it to be true so badly. The final page was an article about a woman in her late 20s who had died in an Oregon hospital two weeks after complications from a surgical procedure. The date on the article was January 16th 1992. Allison's birthday was January 3rd of that same year. His tears only increased as the final piece fell into its place, reverberating to his core. The album fell to the table as his emotions overcame him. His tears weren't tears of joy at this moment and Allison knew it. Her shoulders slumped down and she sobbed, leaving Scully bewildered. She had no clue as to what was going on, nor how to fix it.
"Mulder?" Scully touched his arm as he slumped forward, covering his face with his hands.
She slid across the couch, taking a deep breath as she looked down at the album. Her eyes closed slowly as she saw what he had just witnessed himself. She wanted to comfort him but her eyes fell on Allison, who had resigned to a corner, her head buried in her hands. Scully took a deep breath and sucked back the hurt that was transferring to her from both Mulder and Allison. Scully walked slowly to the corner and knelt down to her, touching the top of her head. Allison's eyes darted up at her almost in fear.
"It's ok, it's ok," Scully choked back tears as she wiped a tear from Allison's cheek.
"I didn't mean to—" Allison could barely speak through each fit of emotions, her eyes pleading to Scully.
"Shhhhh, it's ok," Scully let a singular tear fall as she tried to comfort her.
Allison reached out to her, wrapping her arms around Scully's neck. Scully carefully lifted her into her lap, running a hand up and down her back. Scully glanced back at Mulder as he seemed to have gotten a grip on his emotional state. He was looking at her holding this emotionally damaged child, a child that, by the knowledge in front of him, was his niece. Scully looked down at Allison who had also calmed down significantly since Scully began holding her.
"What the hell happened here?" Melani's voice was angry and confused as she looked across the room at the mess before her.
Allison clung tighter to Scully as she tried to stand. Scully couldn't even speak as she knew just how terrible this entire scenario looked from the outside. Leave it to the big, bad FBI to come into her home and make a small child cry. This looks awful, Dana, and how can I even begin to explain it. I don't know that Mulder has the capability right now to do so. I've never seen him cry like this, not like this. Mulder was standing as Melani put the tea tray onto a corner table.
"I want answers, now," Melani crossed her arms, almost angry at the fact that Allison hadn't run to her side.
"This is all we have, Melani," Mulder picked up the album and handed it to her, walking past her to Scully. "I don't know if you'll understand or realize what kind of impact this has on Allison."
Allison looked up at him as he reached out to her with both hands. He knew it now, better than he ever could, as this precious memory of his sister reached up to him, ready to be held. This time he was crying the happiest of tears and her smile crept across her face, revealing a distant memory of Samantha he had almost lost. He picked her up and held her as if she had always meant to be held by him. She smiled at him and rested her head against his shoulder. He reached down the best he could to assist Scully to her feet.
"How can it be? You didn't know about this before?" Melani looked at them both, visibly emotionally throttled.
"I don't know—I never knew," Mulder shook his head as he walked towards her with Allison still in his arms. "I haven't seen my sister since she was eight years old. I don't know how to explain all of this and I know that it doesn't make any sense but at the same time it does."
"We are still going to figure out what happened to Mary and Max—they knew a lot about Allison's birth family. We aren't making a firm conclusion but we suspect they knew more than they were meant to," Scully explained to Melani, wanting to put her at ease again.
"Does this have something to do with the car that was following them?" Melani was gently sobbing as she walked towards them, crossing her arms.
"We don't know—it's going to take some time to find out exactly what happened, Melani, but we will," Mulder looked natural holding Allison.
Melani sighed and looked at Allison, then at Scully. "Where will she stay? I don't want her to disappear back into the system…"
"I want to stay with them, Melani," Allison spoke up, "please, Melani."
"This is absurd in so many ways but—she'll be safe, right?" Melani felt the sting of sadness hit her as she realized she had let Mary down after vowing to keep her safe, knowing Allison was no longer in her hands.
"She will be safe," Mulder nodded and continued, "Melani, you're not letting them down—I know you think that you're letting Mary down right now but you're not."
"I'll go gather up her suitcase," Melani was in shock at how well he had read her emotions as she walked up the stairs to the children's room.
"Melani…" Mulder had let Allison stand on her own two feet as she went to Melani and hugged her around the waist.
"Love you, Ally—so very much, sweetheart," Melani hugged her back, letting her soul sink the idea of letting her go.
She resigned back towards the stairwell leaving Allison to start gathering up her belongings in the living room. Mulder watched as this precocious child resembled his sister in so many ways; her mannerisms, her smile. He watched as she placed the album in the backpack at the very end, to keep it cushioned by other smaller items in the backpack. She grinned at them both as she put her collection of precious memories into the safety of her backpack. Mulder and Scully took a long look at each other, taking in the other's worry and fear. Their stare was like a steady embrace, a warm blanket, around each other's hearts. They were a mere few feet from each other but it felt like a lot less as they looked into each other's souls.
"I'm ready," Allison broke their gaze as Melani walked in carrying two small suitcases into the living room.
Mulder looked at Melani and took the suit cases from her, exchanging a nod of understanding. Allison took Scully by the hand, looking up at her with bright eyes. They walked out to the car and placed each bag into the trunk, followed by the backseat door opening for Allison.
"Wait a second…are you big enough to not have a booster seat?" Mulder knew next to nothing about children, he realized, as he asked Allison about car safety needs.
She laughed and said "I haven't been in a booster seat for a year!"
Scully smiled, trying not to laugh at him as she helped Allison buckle her seatbelt. She got into the passenger seat as Mulder circled the car, sliding into the driver seat. He looked at the doorway, seeing Melani still there, visibly crying. She forced out a smile and a wave—the three did the same as they backed out of the driveway. Melani let out a sigh and choked on a few tears as she watched their car fade into the darkness.
"Please keep her safe." Melani spoke into the night and stepped back, closing the door softly.
****End Chapter 3 first revision****
Please tell me what you think! It's still in first stage; I'm still working out the kinks. If you see something definitely wrong with it, do not hesitate to let me know. I really enjoy input on each story that I write—and I'd love to see this one improve. Please note that I will delete inflammatory comments, they are not helpful or necessary. Thank you.
