We may love the wrong person, cry for the wrong reasons, but one thing is certain, mistakes help us find the right person.
The days flew by and weeks turned into months that turned into half a year. Rin came in everyday and changed his bedding, helped change his clothes, changed his painkiller dosage and changed his frown into a smile.
People came in and asked him weird questions.
'Did you purposely jump in front of that car sir?' Yes, yes he had. So he nodded. He saw Rin frown. He opened his mouth to tell her why, but he remembered that no sound would come out.
'Why sir? Were you suicidal?' Yes he was. His parents had told him he had suicidal tendencies when anyone was in danger. Hero in the novels and suicidal in real life. Ironic.
He nodded. They left.
Rin sighed softly and he pretended not to hear. He might cry if he didn't. She thought the worst of him. Why couldn't he tell her the truth?
A woman wearing a black tracksuit came into his hospital room and looked at him with the look he associated with serial killers. She wanted him dead. She was apparently, the wife of the driver. She had two boys who had just begun kindergarten and he had 'taken their father away from them!'. He wished he could tell her why he had done it. He really did. He hated seeing people in so much pain. There had been a little girl crying for her mother on the streets that day. He had told her that her mom was right there across the street. She thanked him with this adorable smile and walked onto the street. Just when the lights had turned green. He jumped in to save her life. And he had. But that didn't make it up to the drivers loved one now did it?
He didn't know how to say sorry. So he hugged her. And she cried in his arms and weakly punched him and drenched his hospital gown in tears. He merely stroked her hair and wished he could murmur comforting words. But he couldn't.
Rin watched and then, a few days later, she asked him "Why did you jump in front of that car? I don't believe you when you say it's because you were suicidal." She said it with such conviction and trust that his eyes filled with tears. He opened his mouth without thinking and tried to say sorry.
"ah-rii"
She looked at him with amazement and he didn't even notice. He was too busy crying. From relief that he could make sounds or from joy that she trusted him, even he didn't know.
