Chapter 3: Letting Go…

Hermione lay awake in the second bed of Ginny's bedroom staring at the ceiling. It had been half an hour since she opened her eyes and she was still debating on what she should do next. The first thought was to get up as she heard the familiar noises that always seemed to fill the Burrow. Last time she was here, they were in the middle of the War and preparing a wedding. Now, they are making a hell of a lot food once again, although not for nearly as happy a reason. She sighed. It was the day of Fred's funeral.

Her worst fear in this moment was that the Burrow will never be the same. It was always the place she could call home outside of her own. Shaking it off she let herself fall to the side so she could have a good look at the girl sleeping a few feet away, facing the wall. Closing her eyes she pulled herself up and sat on the bed while her legs fell off the edge. In one swift move, the red-haired girl turned around and looked at her. Not only wasn't she asleep at the moment, but she looked like she hadn't slept at all.

"I didn't wake you, did I?", Hermione asked while a faint feeling of guilt took over her, not only because she already knew the answer to that only by looking at Ginny's face, but also because she had slept. Quite well, for that matter.

Ginny shook her head in response.

"No", she said calmly, her voice a little raspy. "I couldn't"

Hermione stood up from the bed and started pacing around the room hurriedly like she was looking for something. Was it her hair-brush? Her clothes, maybe? A frightening thought crossed her mind. What if none of them slept at all? Ron?

"I just… worry, you know", Ginny said all of the sudden and her voice made Hermione jump a little in surprise.

"I worry for my Mum. And I worry for George", she continued. "I think the rest of us will somehow manage with everything in time. Dad is tough. Always has been… He will probably bury himself in work in the end, and leave Mum alone all day…. Not that he wants to, you know. Charlie will be off to Romania; Percy will never come home. Not after everything. Bill has Fleur; Ron, well, has you; and I…" she stopped. "I just don't think I will ever see George smile again. And Mum, she…"

With her back turned to Ginny Hermione felt tears starting to prickle in the back of her eyes. The last thing she wanted was for Ginny to see them. She was supposed to comfort her, not fall apart in front of her and have it the opposite way. But, leave it to Weasleys to make everyone safe. Leave it to them to make everyone feel at home and loved. Accepted. And all of the sudden she was beginning to feel annoyed by the thought of how unfair everything was. They weren't supposed to suffer like this.

She waved her hand rapidly in front of her eyes several times to make sure they were dry before she turned around to face Ginny again. Sometimes, she was in awe of the strength this girl had. Even after everything she has just voiced out her face was set straight…. Absently, Hermione tried to remember how many times she actually did see her crying, not counting the last time after the Battle.

"What is it?" Ginny interrupted her thoughts again. "Are you OK?"

In that moment Hermione wanted to throw a fit about that one simple question but decided against it and somehow managed to smile.

"Come", she said finally extending her hand for her friend to take it. "Let's see if the boys are up".

A few minutes later, they were dressed and descending many levels of stairs in the Burrow. Some kind of panic danced in her stomach and she wasn't really able to tell why. Maybe because she was about to face the Weasleys for the first time without Ron by her side, and the thought of how much she wanted to see him made her blush. Even more, as she remembered how Ginny mentioned that "Ron, well, has her" in such an offhand manner like she knew what had happened. The truth was no one knew. Not yet. It was some kind of silent agreement between them that they would wait a little more before telling everything that they are… She suddenly stopped. What were they, exactly? Boyfriend and girlfriend sound so belittling to what they had, in her opinion. In the next moment she was brought back to Earth by a pretty intent stare from Ginny.

Hermione allowed Ginny to pull her down the remaining stairs and they entered the living room but stopped immediately. It was empty. Not once in all of times she spent at the Burrow had she faced the an empty family room. That made her gulp heavily. She looked around. It looked tidier that usual. Aside for some clattering from the kitchen the only sound that could be heard was the ticking of that funny clock that Hermione always thought to be a bit stalkerish. It didn't escape her how it was mocking them now by showing both George and Fred are at "home."Another gulp.

But what did almost escape her was the top of a head covered in red hair that was barely visible behind the back of the armchair. It was facing the unlit fireplace. Hermione decided the hair was a bit darker than Ron's which only meant… George. She exchanged glances with Ginny and after a shared nod she went on to the kitchen to leave Ginny and her brother alone.

Entering the smallest kitchen she has ever seen she silently wondered how it was possible for two women to fit in there, especially with huge piles of food that were getting bigger by the second.

"Hermione, dear, you're up!", Molly squealed as she saw her, "Come, sit", she ushered, handing her wand to Fleur as she was desperately trying to make some room. Hermione looked at the tall, blonde girl who returned the gaze and they both pressed their lips tightly in understanding.

"Do you want something to eat?", Molly asked as she literally pushed her in one hard wooden chair.

Hermione smiled kindly at the women and shook her head. "No. I'll wait for the others. Ginny's up, too. I just came to see if you needed some help?"

"Such a lovely girl you are" said Mrs. Weasley as she brought her hand up and caressed Hermione's cheek. Much to her horror, she felt her eyes starting to water up again and with all the strength she had she ordered herself somehow to swallow them back.

Mrs. Weasley made a few nervous noises. "Don't worry, darling. We are almost finished here", she said and turned around to face the stove again. For a slight appeared as if she wasn't sure what to do next. Fleur handed her the wand back and Molly made one little "Oh!"

Exchanging another look with Fleur Hermione stood up from the chair holding it for support and fighting the urge to hug the dearest woman she has ever met. A breakdown was the last thing she needed.

"I'll be… Call me if you need anything", said Hermione and she then left the kitchen urgently.

It was just all too much to take. She never held the Weasleys to be the a poised family, but with all the graciousness they were showing in these last few days, she almost felt like betraying them with all her weakness. She hurried towards the front door that was already open and allowed a view of the freshly mowed grass of the Burrow's yard. Wiping her eyes with her hand, she caught a glimpse of Ginny who was now stroking George's back. Without a word she rushed outside and ran across the lawn. When she was out of anyone's sight, she stopped and breathed shakily.

It was a beautiful day. Too beautiful, actually… It felt like the sun, clear sky and the soft breeze against her skin were uncalled for on a day like this. It looked like a perfectly happy day, only if felt like the saddest. Hermione started walking alongside the river and soon came to what appeared to be the smallest hill in the world. Climbing to its top in a few steps she saw Arthur, Bill, Charlie, Harry and… she swallowed hard… and Ron maneuvering chairs and flower arrangements into perfect rows with their wands. Her chest ached again… Slowly lowering herself until she was finally sitting on the grass Hermione let a steady stream of tears flow down her face.

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It was evening when she found herself in the same living room again. Only, this time, she wasn't alone. The whole Weasley family was sitting at the large dining table silently, looking in front of themselves. Other than Harry and Hermione there was only one person present outside the family… Kingsley, the new Minister of Magic.

Their faces were weary and their expressions only enhanced by the swollen eyelids and blood shot eyes. The mood was heavy and troubled.

"I am sorry" said Kingsley in a low, raspy voice. "I know that this is the worst time possible to be discussing such matters, but your guard must remain up."

Arthur nodded.

Mrs. Weasley let out a shaky breath and Ron squeezed Hermione's hand on his lap under the table. Harry blinked hurriedly several times trying to take everything in while George remained silent as well as the rest of the Weasleys.

"There's not much intelligence on the case for now", Kingsley continued. "The Ministry has agents all over the country, but reports are slow. The Auror Department suffered terrible losses and some of the new aurors haven't really finished their training properly".

"What is certain is that there haven't been any indicents… For now. They are in hiding… It's not sure that they will even strike again, but we mustn't make the same mistake again. We mustn't handle this based on hope."

Hermione was sure about one thing. This really was the worst time to be discussing this issue.

She understood why it was necessary, but still… For a moment, it seemed like the universe was mocking them. Not just that it wasn't over after their worst nightmare evaporated into thin air only adding to the feeling of complete absurdity, but yet another impalpable threat was looming over their lives and there was so little they could do about it. Unaware, a little sarcastic snort escaped her lips…

"Yes, Miss Granger?", Kingsley arched his eyebrows in her direction.

Hermione shook her head and lowered her eyes to the table. Not that she was at a loss of words, but nothing she had to say would make any change at all. Facts were presented and they seemed once again to be kept away from the prospect of a normal life. Death Eaters roamed freely somewhere, doing who knows what, preparing who knows what and the only question that popped into her head was whether they will be able to find the will and go fight again. Looking at Harry quickly, his tightly pressed lips and worried glare told her that was going to be damn hard.

Kingsley went on with telling them everything he knew, but she wasn't listening anymore. Not really. She concentrated on the feeling of warmth that emanated from Ron's hand he never removed from hers. On how much time will have to pass until she would finally be able to relish in the glorious feeling of happiness by his side.

About an hour later, Arthur finally closed the door behind Kingsley and exhaled deeply while looking at Molly who was gripping the back of the chair. The tall, balding man put his hands in his pockets, did something that looked like swaying on his heel and toes and looked at all of them.

"Well, it's getting late" he said calmly. "Off to bed, everyone. We'll talk about this tomorrow" and then nodded shortly several times as he walked towards his wife.

"If anyone wants something to eat there's food in the kitchen" she informed them and lowered her eyes even more as Arthur put his hands on her shoulder. The scene she was witnessing was excruciatingly painful but she didn't want to be the one to stand up first. Nor did Ron, she assumed… Or Harry. Seconds later Ginny placed her little hands on the table and pushed herself up.

"Well… Goodnight, everyone" she said plainly and without further explanation left the room.

Harry followed with a short nod to Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. Ron looked at Hermione and stood up slowly not forgetting to let go of her hand before he did. Even though she understood why he did it the loss of it felt rather painful. Nevertheless, she excused herself quickly muttering "Good night" and followed Ron up the stairs.

His steps were much larger than hers and even though she ran after him she couldn't catch up. A sudden fear that she will meet with the closed door of his room startled her, but subsided as she saw him waiting for her there. As she stepped in front of him a painful realization of how much she has missed him hit her.

They barely shared a few words since that night in Shell Cottage… They had had only a few short moments alone in the past few days and kissed once. Today, they said only a few words to each other, their only contact being holding hands at the funeral and moments before, at the table. And even now, as they were facing each other, inches away, words seemed not to fit.

Hermione lowered her eyes to the floor nervously, clutching her little purse with her hand. Ron barely moved at all.

"Well, good night then…", Hermione said and turned on her heel to face Ginny's door. She waited for a moment and when no response came she put her hand on the door knob.

"'Mione…" she heard his voice and instantly turned to face him.

His face was the same as seconds before… But his eyes seemed different, apologetic somehow. For a moment it seemed like he was about to say something, but remained silent. Hermione smiled softly at him, and then shook her head.

"Don't worry about it. Sleep well".

She saw him climbing the stairs towards his room, heard him open the door then close it again. She never once regretted what happened between them, but the aftermath of it wasn't what she had hoped for. Not that it was their fault. The thought made her smile sadly. Soon, she thought absently as she reached for the door knob of the room she shared with Ginny but stopped. She heard voices… She recognized them immediately as Ginny and Harry's. Smiling, she hesitated only for a second before turning back again and ran up the stairs and in a few seconds time she was standing in front of his room again, positive about him being alone in there. Slowly, she brought her hand up in the air and knocked lightly.

As Ron swung the door open Hermione was positive that she had a pretty sheepish expression on her face as she met his confused one. She noticed that he had removed his jacket.

"Herm-"

"Harry is with Ginny", she said interrupting him. "I thought I'd give them some time alone".

"You want to come in?", he asked and she blushed as she remembered the last time one of them asked the same question. She stepped into the room that was bathed in the yellowish light from the small lamp in the corner and, on the way in, brushed against his chest, never noticing that the touch made him close his eyes.

She heard the door close behind her.

"I –", Hermione mouthed while beginning to turn around to face him, but before she could finish he grabbed her arm, pulled her close and sealed her lips with his own. It took her less than a second to recover from the initial shock and only a second more to let her little purse fall on the floor when both of her hands flew into the air and locked behind his neck. He was holding her tightly pressed against him, and she was so grateful for that, sure that if he wasn't she would somehow end up in a puddle on the floor.

It was one of those kisses that empty your mind leaving it spacious and vulnerable to every sensation. It changed rhythm in the most wonderful ways from hungry and feverish to delicate and tender making her whole body tremble.

Even when he pulled away slowly she couldn't bring herself to open her eyes again. Damn, she wasn't sure she could bring herself to breathe again. Only a high-pitched sound escaped her as she felt him kiss her forehead. It should be illegal feeling this way. She was shaking.

Ron took both of her hands in his, lowered them from his neck kissing both of her wrists almost reaching the light pink scar. Her body ached as he stepped away from her reach and took a few steps backwards before reaching the bed and sat down. Ron was by her side again putting his jacket over her shoulders and sat down next to her.

And again moments of silence passed by in which Hermione hopelessly spent wondering why it was so awkward. Her shoes seemed so interesting now, and she thought that he found his own to be quite amusing as well. But, she was wrong.

"I love you, you know",he blurted out looking in front of himself with his large hands nested in his lap. At first she thought she heard wrong but as he started speaking again, she realized it was really his voice she was hearing.

"I realized I haven't really said it" Ron continued. "Not really."

He stood up from the bed and hovered in front of her. "I mean, I said it then" he admitted nervously. "I don't want you to think that I only said it because of what we did."

Hermione tried to get a grasp of where this was going.

"I want you to know that I don't have a doubt of what was the single best moment of my life, but I will understand if you do. If you're regretting it, I will understand" Ron said in one breath.

Her heart sank lower and lower as she recalled her own behavior in the past few days. She was distant, silent… And apart from a few smiles and that sorry excuse of a kiss she gave him, she was pretty much the furthest away from being obvious. And this was Ron.

"I know you said you won't regret it… But, I know you didn't sign up for this. All this sadness and –"

"Stop it!" she yelled. She was downright beginning to feel offended by this. True, his shell of insecurities surely could grow to be thick, but she was furious. As she stood up from the bed and got ready to shout at him for being plainly idiotic, a knock on the door stopped her.

"Yes!", she yelled a little bit too loud.

The door opened and a red-haired girl appeared.

"Harry fell asleep upstairs. I assumed you were here, and I wondered if…", she trailed off.

"Not a problem at all!", Hermione said sharply

Ginny disappeared again as fast as she could and as soon the door closed again she grabbed Ron's wand from the bedside table and shot a Muffliato in its direction startling Ron in the process.

"'Mione…", he tried, but alas…

"I said, stop it!" she barked. If she was confused earlier, she was definitely very aware of her feelings now.

"How dare you?", she spat when he resigned and decided not to say anything. "How dare you even say something so horrid about me!"

"I didn't…"

"You didn't what? You didn't say it? You didn't mean it?"

"No!", he shouted. "No, I just assumed -"

"Yes, Ronald!" she stopped him again. "You just assumed that I am this horrible person that would back away from 'all this sadness'!" Shouting felt wonderful.

"I would never think that you're a horrible person, Hermione!", he said sounding appalled.

Hermione was breathing fast, her eyes glazed with anger.

"What then? What?"

Ron looked at her face, her flushed cheeks, strands of her hair that flew around them. His forehead furrowed, he swallowed a huge lump and looked away.

"It wasn't supposed to be like this… I don't know how to deal with everything. With you, with them, with myself… It's just too bloody hard!"

"I know, Ron", she said after a short pause as she felt her anger transform into a genuine ache for him. For them. "It's just… I never expected it to be easy. Hoped that it would be easier? Maybe".

"But…"

"No more 'buts', Ron", Hermione said and took a step closer to him.

"I didn't mean to insult you. I didn't mean to hurt you…", Ron breathed out looking straight into her the eyes. "I just needed you to know that I would love you even if you didn't love me back…"

Hermione couldn't take it anymore. In one large jump she closed the gap between them and now she was the one to seal his lips with a searing kiss. As he wrapped his arms strongly around her once more, she opened her eyes to look at him. Just from the intensity of his stare her tears started welling up.

"You stupid git." Hermione said breathlessly. "How could I ever not love you back?"

Pressing his forehead to hers Ron watched Hermione undo the first button of his shirt. Then second and all the way down until she was finally able to brush her fingers against his bare stomach causing him to whimper. And ever so slowly she backed away grabbing the sides of his shirt as she went to pull him closer to her again.

Deep down, as she met his eyes again, Hermione knew that she will never get used to the way he looked at her. The way he poured out his soul with one unblinking stare from his eyes as clear as previously shouted words, even now when they were darkened from lust. Her hunger for them will never stop. She was doomed.

She gasped as he kissed her neck and lifted her up, only to have her down on the bed in one swift move. Afraid to breathe, Hermione watched him remove his shirt, watched as his face got closer and closer to hers… until she couldn't fight the urge to inhale his breath as it got so close to her mouth. And then she forgot how to breathe again as she watched his eyes travel across her face with his lips following. He kissed her eyes, her salty cheeks as his hands got lost in her hair, her neck leaving her shivering.

Suddenly, she felt completely naked before him even though she was still fully dressed. That's the thing, she thought, when you are exposing your soul to someone a few patches of fabric don't mean anything. But she didn't have to worry about that for much longer as his hand slid under her body and caught a zipper of her black dress trailing her skin with his fingers as he went down. She brought her hand to his face, touched the soft stubble that was forming along his jaw line, traced his eyelashes… She could've exploded then and there from all the love she felt for him.

Hermione helped him roll the last piece of her clothes down her legs and watched as he did the same to himself. He covered her now completely naked body with his own leaving kisses all the way up until he was at her eye level. Looking at her intently, he entered her slowly, carefully… There was no need to rush this time, no pain… Only pure pleasure. Hermione's eyes fluttered and her head fell back exposing her neck to his eyes and lips. They weren't experienced lovers and yet their bodies fell into rhythm so quickly and naturally. Just the right one… the one that caused them to moan and gasp in unison, the one that allowed him to look in her eyes and brush against her bare breasts with every thrust. Never-changing, ever-lasting, blissful, until Hermione felt heavy waves of pleasure wash over her and all of them finally exploding in one point.

She locked her eyes with his, her look unsteady from the new sensation. Ron dug his hand into her hip as he silenced her last moan with his own lips and only seconds later released his last one into hers.

After a while, as he managed to catch his breath he rolled them onto their sides so they were facing each other. Hermione relished in the same look from his eyes she so adored, feeling safe and complete. Ron wrapped the covers around them as he pulled her closer and she buried her face in his chest.

"Ron?"

"Mhm?" he replied sounding so close to falling asleep.

"I love you, you know" she said and he laughed lightly. The first happy sound she has heard from him in days.

Ignoring the hint of a heavy feeling settling down in the pit of her stomach, Hermione decided that telling him she had to go and find her parents could wait. Nestling as close to him as possible, she closed her eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep.

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New A/N: Chapter 3 re-uploaded. Thank to wonderful Kathy who did a wonderful work on correcting my spelling and grammar this is the new and improved version. Big thanks to her for pointing out that I messed up the order of Ginny's and Ron's bedrooms which is now right.

Original A/N for this chapter: Here it is… fast update as promised. This was hard for me to write… especially the grieving part since I had a similar situation in my family recently I just couldn't bring myself to write to funeral. If I did I honestly doubt that I would end up posting it. And well, the last part as you probably guessed. I just hope it's descriptive enough and not too descriptive or tasteless. Still learning, folks.

Next chapter will be up in a few days and that's when the real action starts. Stay with me…