Being dead is a lot like being alive, and yet it is also the complete opposite. Now that I'm dead I can't feel any physical pain. I no longer feel Anakin's burnt skin or the pains of labor, but I feel something much, much worse.

Becoming one with the force enables you to feel every emotion of the living. It also magnifies your own. I drop my head because of all the emotions I feel, willing them to go away.

Pain. Suffering. Anger. Fear. Gloom. Evil. Death.

These emotions mainly ruled the balance of the force, causing the afterlife to be filled with a dark mist. I shiver, and feel for more emotions

There are some good ones, but they are barely noticeable. But still….they are there.

Laughter. Life. Joy. Hope.

With the last feeling I look at my two children. Leia is in the other room, but Obi Wan is holding Luke. I hope Luke heard my last words; I hope he can feel that his father is still good.

Hope.

That is the only thing that will get through this terrible mess. Hope.

I look down, and see that I am as thin as I was before I was pregnant, and I'm wearing a blue dress. This surprises me for I have never given a thought to what I'd wear after I died. Maybe I just assumed I wouldn't be wearing anything, but here I am, fully clothed. In blue.

Blue, like Anakin's lightsaber. Blue, like the water. Blue, like Anakin's eyes.

Anakin.

"Padme'?" I hear a familiar voice ask, startled.

I turn around, seeing a great Jedi friend.

"Qui Gon." I say, smiling. It's hard to believe I can smile with all the emotions I feel, but Qui Gon's presence gives me a sense of calm. That's always been the major emotion flowing off of him, calmness. I remember how annoyed I was when I was just a girl, and he was so calm even though he was betting my ship. My smile grows wider as I remember wanting to grab his lightsaber and beat him with it.

"How are you here?"

"Well Qui Gon, I thought you could sense this. I can certainly feel death through the force," I point over at my body, "I'm dead, see?"

Qui Gon smiled, "Just as cheeky as ever I see. No, I didn't mean that. I meant why are you here, here. Non-force sensitive people usually just cross over."

"Into what?" I asked.

"A place of peace. It's where you leave everything behind, and feel nothing but joy. It's called Heaven. Good people usually cross over."

"And if you're not good?"

"You go to hell. Literally."

"I'm surprised I'm not there." I mutter darkly.

"Padme', this isn't your fault. None of it is, don't blame yourself."

"I don't want to talk about this right now."

Qui Gon hears my determined voice, and moves on. But I can tell that he won't let this conversation go for good.

"Well, right now it doesn't matter where you are supposed to go. The question is why are you here now?"

I rethink my last moments, from Mustafar until I am here. Qui Gon nods while reading my thoughts, and he is still very confused.

"Well this is different, very different."

"How so?" I ask.

"Padme' you're not supposed to be here."

"Hey-"

"Let me finish."

"Fine."

"It seems that because you were force sensitive while you were pregnant you still had some of it clinging to you before you died. And, because you wanted to stay as a selfless act, the One who created everything decided to let you stay." Qui Gon explained, though I have a feeling he wasn't completely sure, and that what he was saying was just a theory.

"So now I can watch over my kids? I noticed you communicating with Yoda….will you teach me how to do that? Please?" I begged.

Qui Gon looked at me sadly, "Even though you are here you are not strong. In fact, you are very weak. I don't know if you will ever be able to communicate with the living. I doubt that they'll ever be able to see you."

"Why am I so weak? Because I was never a Jedi?"

"I don't think that's it. I think that before you can fully communicate, you have to do something."

"And that is?"

"If I knew I would tell you. It seems that you're going to have to figure out by yourself."

"There must be some other way to communicate with them, other than have a face to face conversation?"

"I suppose there is. You can always access the living through their dreams."

"You will teach me." I wasn't stating a question; I was commanding it.

Qui Gon smiled at me, "Still cheeky and in charge."

I was about to make a 'cheeky' reply, but then I felt something call for me.

"What was that?"

"Nothing Padme'. Don't listen."

"No," I say "Something…or someone….is calling for me."

"Ignore it Padme'. If you go it will only bring you pain."

It kept calling. It wouldn't stop. I have to go. "I'm sorry Qui Gon." His image fades as I begin to transfer.

I'm on Coruscant. I can see that from my surroundings. But it doesn't feel like Coruscant. It feels dark. It feels terrible.

If there was a center of the dark universe this would be it. This place is so strong with darkness that I feel myself growing weak very quickly. My ghostly figure is fading.

In a corner I see the source of the darkness, the reason why this is the center. Anywhere he goes will be the center. Sidious.

"Lord Vader, can you hear me?"

"Yes, my master."

"Rise Lord Vader." The sithscum commanded.

A platform began to rise, and on it was a black droid.

No, not a droid.

It was suit over a man I once knew well. Anakin.

NO!

But it is him, I cannot deny that. I can feel him.

"Where is Padme'? Is she safe? Is she alright?" The deep voice asked. A tear slips down my face. Even with everything he has gone through, even with all the darkness I feel coming off of him, he still cares about me. I'm right, he still has good in him.

"It seems that in your anger…..you have killed her."

If I was alive I'd strangle that peace of scum right now. How dare he say it was Anakin's fault? How dare he.

The man in the suit broke away from the platform as he said, "I couldn't have! She was alive! I felt her! She was alive! It's impossible!"

More tears roll down my face. The darkness is making me weaker, much, much weaker. What would happen if I let it engulf me?

"It would destroy your whole purpose of sacrificing your life for your children." Qui Gon's voice said as the man in the suit screamed "NOOOOOOO!" and destroyed his surroundings.

Yes, Qui Gon was right. The twins needed me. I will not fail. As I'm fading away I see Sidious smile.

"He's lying!" I shout. The man in the suit didn't hear me. I felt my words bounce off a shell that was so strong I don't think I'll ever be able to get through. I'll never be able to talk to him.

Oh Ani.

We're back in the medical facility, and I turn to Qui Gon. He wraps his arms around me, and lets me cry. It's like I'm a little girl again. This is all so unbearable. How could this have happened? How did I not see this coming? It was obvious that Anakin needed help; he was so confused. I should've asked him more questions; I shouldn't have given up.

"There's nothing you could've done that you didn't do. Don't blame yourself." Qui Gon said, reading my thoughts.

I remember the days we spent together on Naboo, right after we married.

Anakin was standing in the water, babbling about how much he loved it.

"There was so little water on Tatooine. When I first saw the large bodies of water here, I couldn't believe it. I thought there was no way this could be possible. I think I was halfway afraid of it." Anakin turned around and smiled at me, as I was lying on a blanket on the shore.

"Anakin? Afraid of something? I don't believe that." I teased.

"Well…..I was always afraid it would do something like…..THIS!" He used the force to create a large wave in the usually calm water and thrust all of it up on the shore, soaking me.

"Anakin! This dress is expensive! You've ruined it!" I yelled in mock horror.

He gave me an impish grin, "I told you earlier to take that dress off."

I tossed back my head and laughed, and then darted into the water. I began climbing on his back, lifting one of my legs over his shoulders.

"What are you-" I cut him off, dunking him like I had intended to do.

My victory was short lived. Before I even had a chance to smile he brought himself above water, and threw me into the water. He held me under for about five seconds and brought me back up. He was laughing until I started coughing.

I wasn't really hurt, but was trying to get back at him. His face froze until my coughing turned to laughter.

"Senator Amidala, don't you ever scare me like that again." He ordered, laughing.

"Senator Amidala? I don't know who you're talking about. My name is Padme' Skywalker."

He grinned at me, and carried me out further into the water.

"That's a nice memory." Qui Gon said softly.

"Memory." I repeated into his chest.

"I'm so sorry." He said using the same words as Obi Wan had after he found out who the father was.

The twins.

I can't let myself mourn for Anakin now. There will be plenty of time for that later. Right now, I have to help my twins.

"That's the spirit! Come on, I'll take you to Obi Wan."

"We must take them somewhere the Sith will not feel their presence." Obi Wan said to Bail and Yoda.

"Split up, they should be." Yoda piped in.

Qui Gon had not yet taught me how to communicate with the living, and I think he wasn't sure if I was strong enough. But Leia has to go with Bail, and she will.

I combine all the love I've ever felt which on a pretty high level. I don't know how much everybody else loves their children and husband, but I have a feeling my love is off the charts. I use all that love to help me communicate with Bail.

"Take Leia Bail! You told me you've wanted a daughter. TAKE HER!" I scream.

Qui Gon watches intently, and my heart leaps with joy when a surprised look crosses his face. He has heard me!

"My wife and I will take the girl. We've always talked of adopting a baby girl. She will be loved with us." Bail said.

I believe the last part was meant for me. Communicating with his has drained me, just and the dark side had drained me. But I have to tell him one more thing.

"I know she will." I told Bail. As a faint smile played at his lips I can tell he heard me.

I'm so exhausted now; I feel the same way I did before I died. My legs give out on me, but Qui Gon catches me.

"Good job your highness. But perhaps we should do no more talking now." Qui Gon suggested.

"You forget Qui Gon, but I am no longer a Queen."

"That's what you assume."

I didn't have time to ask what he meant, because they started talk about Luke.

"And what of the boy?" Obi Wan asks.

"To Tatooine. To his family, send him." Yoda says.`

"No," I whisper, "Not that dreadful place."

"He has a high midichlorian level. He has to go there." Qui Gon reminded.

Obi Wan interrupted our conversation, "I will take the child and watch over him. Master Yoda, do you think Anakin's twins will be able to defeat Darth Sidious?"

"Strong the Force runs, in the Skywalker line. Hope, we can . . . Done, it is. Until the time is right, disappear we will." Yoda instructed.

Bail left the room while Obi Wan and Yoda started talking. I turned and looked at Qui Gon, but he still held me up.

"You took a great chance there Padme'. It will take days for you to recover."

"He had to take Leia." I say through my teeth.

Qui Gon laughed, "You gave me those death glares a lot when you were fourteen," but then his smile faded, "I'm afraid I have worse news for you."

"Worse," I groan, "How can anything get worse?"

"You can't watch over Luke." He said simply.

Apparently things could get worse. "What?"

"Hold on to me. You're too weak to transport right now. I have to show you something." Qui Gon commands.

My hands grip his arms, and we are back in the medical facility. Qui Gon points to the notes showing me the midichlorian counts on both children.

Leia: 16,576.

Luke:19,999.

"As you can see, Luke's count is too high. That count and your presence combined would make it very easy for the Sith to find Luke. You need to do it for his safety."

I nod, "His count isn't over 20,000. He is not the Chosen One." Anakin is.

"Obi Wan and Yoda couldn't believe it. They had him tested several times before they accepted it. They don't understand how Anakin can still be the Chosen One. Yoda explained it by saying that the Prophecy had been misread."

I shake my head, "They can't believe that there is still good in him. But he is the Chosen One. And there is still good in him. You believe that, don't you?" I turn to face Qui Gon.

He shakes his head, "I was sure."

"Was?"

"I can't tell anymore. The darkness has clouded around him. I can't read him anymore, not like I used to."

"I can't either, but I know there is. I know him."

"You probably know him better than anyone." He agreed.

"Even better than the Sith," I said determinedly, "Can I at least see my son once more?"

Qui Gon nods, and takes me to where Luke is. He's sleeping still. He has no idea how much pressure is on his shoulders. Oh Luke.

"I love you baby. I know you heard me say that your father is still good. Don't you forget it," I run my hand over him, even though he can't feel it, "I'm sorry I can't be with you like I will be with Leia. I'm sorry you have to go to that dreadful place. But I've met Owen and Beru, and they're very nice people. You will be loved."

I think back on that day that I met them. I had no idea of the future. That was the day Anakin killed the Sand People. I should've helped him then I suppose. But it's too late. Too late.

"You stay away from Sand People," I continue, " Did you know you got your eyes and hair from your daddy….even if nobody will be able to see that. But you have my face. And I love you, love you so much. People are going to tell you terrible, terrible things about Anakin. I guess he has done all those things, but before that…..he did so many good things. He saved so many lives. He created yours. I'm sure that he's still the Chosen One, and he will end the Emperor's life. But until then, remember these words: Your father and I love you very much."

Obi Wan came in then and grabbed Luke. I watched as he carried my son away off to his new life. I doubt he will remember me, but I hope he remembers my words. Obi Wan….there…is good in…him. I know… there is still…

"Luke." I whisper, and turn my gaze to my daughter.