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You don't know me

Dear arsehole,

It's a better way to start a letter, in my opinion. And besides, I've always heard a certain phrase, "if the shoe fits." Which clearly, it does. The little green shoe that has been placed on many others just like you. Or perhaps they would rather be referred to as Slytherins? Hmm. It's sort of like the shoe sorting hat. I'm sorry you don't follow my expectations either. Hardly anybody does, and when I began writing to you it's not like I thought that you would be any different. I actually find it hilarious that you think that I'm the negative one. Honestly, couldn't you at least try to pretend like this isn't the worst thing you've had to do in your life? I think we can both establish that we have much better things to do-or at least I do-but that doesn't mean that you have to get on your high horse about all this nonsense. Maybe you should try to see that, at the moment, Gryffindors and Slytherins (supposedly)are on the same team. Hogwarts, ever heard of it? Professor Dumbledore is NOT crazy! He is the most brilliant wizard I have ever met in my entire life, and if there's anyone who can take down You-Know-Who, well, it's him! Your no better then him, you know. You-Know-Who, I mean. The only difference is that he's got power and your still just a student. I don't think it's any of your business, actually, how "pure" anyone's blood is. Including mine. How do you know your not talking to a pureblood, huh? You can go on speaking like this all that you want, but you have no idea what your getting into. Your in way over your head-you just think this is all some fun game. Time to prance with the Death Eaters. Maybe they'll bring some tea, wouldn't that be delightful?

I'm sure that, in your opinion, you could probably go bully around some first years and that would be better time spent then writing these letters. But that's not even what I'm talking about. I mean actually doing something that might get your somewhere in life. Wherever you wish to go in life. I'm just surprised that the mirror doesn't break as soon as you step in front of it. Muggleborns are absolutely no different from Purebloods, or Halfbloods-it's all the same. And, seeing as how some of the greatest witches and wizards where muggleborns, you have no argument. Yes, actually, that is exactly what I am saying, thank you for repeating me. I don't see why you have to put the term "filthy" in front of that term, you "filthy pureblood." It has the same effect, does it not? "How dare me?" Do you even hear what your saying? If your this unpleasant just by owl post, I would hate to have to meet you in person! This assignment has brought to my attention the ignorance that Slytherins seem to have. Not that I'm saying that I would like to continue it further because of it. Already I am celebrating the last time I have to sign a letter addressed to you. Yes, two months of writing without knowing who the other is. Not that it will make a difference when we know who we are.

I doubt you know any truth at all about Gryffindors anyway. Thanks, but I already know about you and your little buddies. Cunning? That almost makes me laugh, honestly! Oh, and I suppose that a good reason is any reason that you pluck out of the air. So tell me now: why don't you just writing to me, huh? Right now. Go on. I don't see why you continue to stress yourself with the little action of scratching down words. Oh, pride and dignity? Odd, I would never associate the two with whom I'm writing to currently. We don't "rampage," I'll have you know. Really, if you don't care, why not just stop? It seems your ignoring that question.

So now writing this letter isn't a strain? Which one is it? And yes, in fact, I do see a large difference between and unforgivable and a normal spell. Not that I would expect someone like you to acknowledge or even see that difference. Interest is lost for me when I see the destruction that an unforgivable can cause. I would hope you could see this as well. Whats not to like about Lumos, though? Lights up the dark. Casts a bright light on the shadows. Fascinating. Were a bit past offending by now, although I do accept your apology. I guess I could see where yo are coming from on that-I do find myself less amazed by the magic then in the first few years. But the magic is still there, and I still love it. Professor Dumbledore is not old! And the day that Dolores Umbridge steps into that office as headmistress will be a sad one, if it ever happens. I wouldn't go as far as to say that, now. Quidditch isn't the sort of thing you need to obsess over, especially with what's about in the air at the moment. Yes, but taking action without reading about what your doing could lead to disastrous consequences. It's foolish to wave a wand without reading up on spells to use, for example. Isn't that just amazing for you, then? I don't think you understand that no matter how much you speak of how pure your blood is, I will not be impressed in the least. "Pests?" Hunh. Charming.

Perhaps I think that knowing what schoolbook you like the most is an extremely important question. Not that you would ever consider that. Well then I suppose it takes one to know one, because your a prime example of a Slytherin that I am less then thrilled to be able to talk to. Two months can't come soon enough. And how do you know how I feel? Your obviously not the most intelligent. If Hogwarts, A History managed to bore you to tears then I honestly don't know how you go about during classes. Not that I expect you pay any attention-no, that would of course be expecting way too much of someone of your...status. I'm glad to see that knowing I'm not having a good time is what makes you happy. You really are a sad wizard, you realize that right? Really? I thought first year was just splendid. Nothing like it. So I see that you are happy with naming your owl after a psychotic man who doesn't understand magic in the slightest. That is, of course, your personal opinion. No they do not! Oh, I'm so tired of people like you believing that house elves have no emotions. They are just like us, really. They even control amazing magical abilities, did you know? And what is with this "princess" thing? I'm getting tired of all of this, prince. I suppose that you believe that caring about anyone but yourself is too nice for one's own good, right? Of course. I'm glad that you at least acknowledge that Slytherins are anything but "nice."

Teachers do not favor us, I'll have you know. If anything, Professor Snape favors you Slytherins. Head of house. Too bad McGonagall doesn't visibly favorite us Gryffindors. Thank you, for listening to the sorting hat's song. Bravery will not get us killed. If anything, it will be what saves us. Professor Dumbledore is rightfully the headmaster, but not because this is a bad school. It's because he is brilliant and fitting of Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Now I know that Professor Trelawney is...an interesting person, but I don't believe she deserves to be kicked off of school grounds. She is a professor, after all. Professor Lupin was an amazing man, and comparisons like those are rude, don't you know. Or have you forgotten your manners? Quit that! You ignorant little, you don't understand any of the words you are saying, now, do you!

From, your annoyed pen-pal


Dear friend of mudbloods,

Well I'm almost positive that I didn't ask you for you opinion. "The little green shoe?" What, are we writing to each other or are we going to play with some dollies? Yes, actually, I don't mind at all being referred to as Slytherin. I would prefer that from the other non-offensive terms you've tried to think up for me so far. Pitiful, really. I am very different! I am much, much different from I'm sure anyone you've ever talked to, is that right? Enjoying my company, of course. Then stop laughing, princess, because there's nothing funny about the truth-most of the time, that is. Oh, but I'm not good at pretending. I most certainly have much better things to do then to write to you, much better then the sort of thing that you would be doing instead. If you think that Gryffindors and Slytherins are meant to be friends, then you need to wake up from your dreams, because I'm afraid that's a dream that will never come true. No, Dumbledore IS crazy! He's steering the whole school into a dead end, so far that now the ministy is getting involved just to help steer us all out of the mess that he has made of the place. Nobody is going to be able to defeat the Dark Lord, I'll have you know. A new age is coming upon us, one that doesn't look good for mudbloods or friends of them. I would say you will be going into hiding any day now.

Comparing me to the Dark Lord himself now? You seriously don't understand how to insult someone, do you? If anything, you are just flattering me! And, if you were perhaps wondering, I do in fact have power. I can use it whenever I want to. Afraid to tell me, are you? I wonder why. Embarrassed, princess? Don't worry. The King of Slytherins understands. I'm pretty sure that if I was talking to a pureblood I would see a bit more dignity in their words-and they wouldn't be throwing around the term "brilliant" and "Dumbledore" in the same sentence. You watch your mouth! I am capable of serving him. You'll just see! I'll come back to get you and all of your little Gryffindor friends, and by then, you'll be sorry about all this letter nonsense. You'll remember, and you'll be sorry. The whole lot of you.

I would never stoop so low. Besides, the first years are too easy-they get scared as soon as you approach them. No, I'm fine with just going with the fifth years. Seeing as how, in retrospect, I'm better then them anyways. Oh, don't be criticizing me on my looks! You don't even know what I look like, dear princess. Oh my, don't get your knickers in a twist now! I would hate for you to feel bad on my part. It is awful what this school is hammering into your brain about all this nonsense about mudbloods being perfectly fine. It's not true. They are a disgrace, and the day that this school comes to it's senses and kicks them all out will be a good day indeed. Oh you've really scared me now, you "Filthy Gryffindor." Nope, completely different. Do you even know what your saying? I don't think so! I would think that you would be able to open up a book and smarten yourself, what with how much you love your books. Well the same to you! Only you can say that. I have learned nothing about Gryffindors so far-my knowledge of how amazingly bossy and stupid they are has just been reconfirmed, if anything. I would hope that the teachers would soon realize what nonsense it is to make us write these bloody letters! Why not just get it over with already?

That just shows how wrong you are. Actually, I think that I know more about Gryffindors that Gryffindors themselves do. They hold themselves so high and mighty above others, where really Hufflepuffs have even more of a right to then you do! Don't laugh out of jealousy, princess. I'm sure deep down your cunning-maybe. If I so wish it to be any reason then it will be, I don't see why that is any of your business. Stop writing, you say? Sounds good. No, but I have a grade to think about really. Dad'll kill me if I fail out of fifth year. That will be just one more year I have to stay in this hell hole. What about you now, princess? Scared of never writing to me again? I don't blame you. I'm an awfully hard habit to break. Well I would never associate them with you, either. Oh right, sorry to have hurt your feelings so. As I said before, I can't afford to have too awful of a grade. It's really potions that's helping me up. And, surprisingly, this year, Defense Against the Dark Arts.

It's not a strain. I mean, seeing as how I have to sacrifice so much as it is to be such a saint as it is. Well your alone there-and besides, perhaps I wasn't referring to an unforgivable curse, ever thought of that? Although I hate to lie-as you know-I do find them most intriguing. Lumos has it's own good things, yes, and I never said I didn't like it. I just said that I would really consider it a favorite of mine. Your welcome, apologizing is not a custom of mine. Don't get used to it. Hmmm, well we all have different opinions on things. Obviously. Really, your going to argue with me about the old man's age? What is he, one hundred and fifty? Give or take? Honestly, woman. Get a hold of yourself. I would love to see the witch step up. It would certainly be an improvement at Hogwarts. Oh, so you don't think that I could beat him? Funny of you to say. Awfully wrong as well. I could beat him any day of the week. Not that I would go out of my way to do it. I wouldn't be bothered. I'm pretty sure that, even if I had never read a spell, I would be able to protect myself in that situation-I am quite handy with a wand. Oh, I understand. Impressing you is really the least of my worries.

Oh? You think that it is an "extremely important question?" You are completely right! I've never seen this before. I will devote my life to schoolbooks from now on. Kidding, of course. Less then thrilled must be a record for you. I thought a Gryffindor's happy meter couldn't go below three hundred. Take that back! I'd actually like to say that I'm smart-extremely so, actually. Although I couldn't say the same thing about you. Your not a Ravenclaw, after all. Your right there, I don't trouble myself with paying attention in class. I'll be soon out of this place anyways, and I don't see what I would need any of what I'm learning for. Premature, if you ask me, what were being taught. I am capable of so much more then this school's limits. My status? My remarkable pureblood status, you mean? I'm glad that you finally acknowledged this. Any time, any time. And you, a sad witch. With a knack to annoy me. First year was the year that everybody settled into the school, and everyone seemed to pretend like it was the best thing ever. Only I saw that this place would grow old only too soon. Salathzar Slytherin was the best of the four founders, and he could destroy the whole school in an instant. He had his mind on where it needed to be: a pure school. That might have been the perfect school, but then all the other founders messed the whole place up. Now it's nothing. House elves may have emotions, but they aren't something that we should tie ourselves up in-not important at all. Did you know that I have magical abilities as well? What do you mean, Princess? Getting on your nerves? I'm not a prince, I'll have you know, I'm the King. Your spot on, actually. Slytherins are not mean-they just have survival instincts.

Snape? Yes, I suppose he favors us. And he hates you Gryffindors. It's funny to see how he treats some of you, even. That old woman does favor you. Or at least, she hates us Slytherins. You can see it in her eyes. Not that I'm offended. Bravery is rash and stupid-it is certainly the difference between life and death. He is fitting. Because he is the head of a muggle loving, idiot based society. I can't wait to get out of here. Was a Professor, you mean. Was. She'll be packing her bags soon, you just wait and see. Oh trust me I know. It's just that I don't care. An amazing man! Ha! You are going to make me laugh to death. Quit what? Wow, now, hang on, no need to get...feisty.

From, the King of Slytherins