5 YEARS LATER…
Kendall stared at the window, his eyes were empty. It's just a blank stare. He sat on the corner of his tour bus, chin rested on his palm and his left hand held his backpack.
"Dude," Logan gave him a soft punch to wake him up from his daydream, "We're arrived."
Kendall turned his head to see his band mate, "Huh?"
"Geez… We're here. Hello, New York!" Logan rolled his eyes. He grabbed his own backpack and hung it on his back, "Come on! We gotta lunch."
New York.
Kendall took a deep breathe. He had no memories here, actually today was his first time being here but he had something with this city and that wasn't a good memory.
"I was born in New York, 3 months later, my Mom decided to move to Los Angeles."
He shook his head, trying to get rid those memories of Shane told him about his past. Shane. The only name that Kendall would never forget, it still pain so much every time he remember him.
"Kendall!" once again – or more – his name being called, remind him that Kendall had to get out from the bus.
The bus arrived at the Montage Resto & Bar, the band decided to grab lunch first before check in to the hotel and get ready for tonight show. Heffron Drive would have their last 3 tours here in New York. Their biggest achievement so far for being in a band was a great tour.
Kendall didn't excited that much. He just followed Carlos' back to their table. The restaurant actually pretty good and decent, they must be pay expensive for today's lunch. Oh, Kendall just remembered yesterday they talked about this, kind of a pre-party for their achievement.
Ten of them – Kendall, Carlos, Logan, Dustin and their tour crews – talked about their next stop. But something caught on Kendall's eyes.
Shane.
He was standing on the doorway with an older man, both of them looking decent in their suit.
"Kendall?" Dustin called his name but Kendall ignored him. He was too busy to respond to his friend.
Shane walked toward his table with that man. God, Kendall swore that guy – that Shane - the most handsome guy he'd ever seen in his life. He must be dreaming or he only existed in his imagination, Kendall didn't care.
"Kendall!" once again his name being called but he still didn't care at all.
Shane ordered his food then the other guy did the same. They talked a bit then Shane got really busy with his iPad.
It couldn't be real. Shane was dead 5 years ago. He died because his cancer took him. Reincarnation was not exists. Hell no, Kendall didn't believe that shit.
"KENDALL!"
A slap landed on his shoulder, it made Kendall turned his head, "What?"
"Dude," Carlos frowned, "You're not listening to us!" he protested, his face seemed angry.
"Sorry," Kendall gave him a thin smile, "I… I'm tired. I don't feel good today."
Dustin learned Kendall's face, "You're sick?"
"I don't know," Kendall turned his head to check whether Shane was there or not, and yet, he was seen nowhere.
He must be really missed that brunet guy until he started to imagine him.
What a prick, Kendall Knight!
Logan squeezed his shoulder, "We could go straight to the hotel after this."
"No," Kendall shook his head, "I will but you guys just go…" he smiled.
The rest of the lunch didn't mean to Kendall that much, he didn't want to turned his head either. His head started spinning and banging again.
"You have to learn how to let people go, Kendall. Soon or later, I will leave you and you have to let me go."
Shane's voice whispered in his ears and it made Kendall wanted to throw everything in his stomach out.
"Dude," Carlos touched his shoulder, "You're alright?"
Kendall nodded, "Yeah. I'm fine, Carlos. I'm fine." He suggested himself. He closed his eyes and hoping he wouldn't hear Shane's voice anymore.
Shane, please, leave me alone.
Kendall woke up because the light from the curtain stabbed his eyes so bad. He forced his body to get up and got him a bottle of water. Their first show in New York last night went really great and he really enjoyed it.
He saw the clock which hanging on the wall. It's only 6 am and he knew for a fact that this was too early to wake up but he couldn't back to sleep. Once he wake up then it was.
Kendall walked to the bathroom – mostly dragged himself – and washed his face with cold water then brushed his teeth. He grabbed his varsity jacket and his running shoes, decided to get some morning run which was he never did before.
New York in the morning was really good. The fresh air, the clear and bright sky, the quietness, Kendall enjoyed all of them. Maybe he should do the morning run more often.
After 30 minutes or so ran from the hotel down on the street, he stopped at the park in front of the five stars hotel. He sat under the Eek tree, tried his best to catch as much as the oxygen he could.
Feeling enough of resting, he stood and got ready to run again until he accidentally crashed on someone and both of them falling on the ground.
"Damn!" he hissed when he felt the pain on his back.
A second later he realized there's another guy who fell on the ground. He quickly got his body up and saw to the other guy.
There he was.
Shane – the sexy version of Shane – grumbling and holding his hand, face looking angry.
"What's wrong with you?!"
And there it was, the proof that this guy wasn't Shane
"Sorry." Kendall extended his hand to help that guy, "I didn't see you coming."
The guy didn't take his hand. He stood by himself and took his iPod who fell pretty far from their spot.
"I'm so sorry." Kendall couldn't take his eyes from him.
But this guy looked like Shane so much. They both had the same perfectly shape and full eyebrow, perfect skinny nose, the most beautiful brunet hair, pink lips and the most important was their beautiful hazel eyes.
"Watch your steps!" that guy hissed and then he walked out until Kendall reflects grabbed his hand to stop him.
"Shane?" Kendall asked him.
That guy frowned, "Excuse me?"
Now they both had the same voice and the way they talked was really similar.
"It's me," Kendall smiled, "Kendall! Oh God!" he pulled the guy into his hug. He could smell the mixture of cologne and natural musk of this guy. Even his natural musk didn't change.
The guy pushed Kendall harshly, "I don't know you." he grumbled then walked towards the hotel.
Did Kendall just let him go? Fuck no. He couldn't. It's been 5 fucking years Kendall lived in Shane's shadows, lived in their memories. Now he had a chance to see him in person and missed it? That wasn't going to happen.
Kendall ran and grabbed the guy's hand, "Wait!"
"What are you doing?!" the guy got mad, "I don't know you!"
Kendall shook his head, "I'm Kendall Knight. We met at Los Angeles Children's Hospital."
The guy let his arm from Kendall's hand harshly, "Wrong person, Mr. Knight! Now, excuse me."
Kendall was about to open his mouth when a woman walked toward them and shocked his mind up.
"Mr. Diamond, there's a phone call for you."
The guy turned his head, "If you don't have anything to say, Mr. Knight, please let me go. Good morning and have a good day." He gave him a nod and then walked out, leaving Kendall alone with his pain.
Kendall had no idea how he made his way back to the hotel. When he got there, Logan was up and worked on his laptop, "Where have you been?" Logan asked without turning his head to Kendall.
"Uh… jogging," Kendall answered in unsure tone. It made Logan stopped working on his laptop.
"Okay, you're so fucking pale like you just saw a ghost. What happened?"
Kendall let out a deep sigh. He rested his head on the shoulder of the sofa, "I guess I just saw a ghost."
"Huh?"
Kendall turned his head to Logan, "Remember Shane, I told you like 5 years ago…"
"Yeah?" Logan seemed not sure.
"The guy that I met at the children hospital when I had my depression therapy," Kendall gave him another clue.
Logan nodded, "Yeah, I remembered. He was your boyfriend."
"Fuck yeah." Kendall smiled wryly, "I saw him 10 minutes ago."
Logan's eyes widened, "I thought he was dead."
"Yes," Kendall nodded, "That's why I told you I just saw a ghost."
Logan moved his body closer to Kendall, "I don't understand."
"Me too," Kendall frowned, "But Fuck, Logan, I miss him. He's really handsome by now… tall, a little bit tan…"
Logan chuckled, "You sound like a chick."
Kendall landed a soft punch on Logan's arm, "I hate you."
"Dude, the guy you just saw maybe just looked alike with your boy… with Shane."
"Maybe," Kendall nodded. He remembered that guy was called Mr. Diamond. Shane's last name was Adams.
Logan stood up and placed his laptop on the table, "Let's grab something to eat. I'm hungry!"
