Chapter Three: Axe Man Story, a Campfire Legend.
Murdoc rubbed a dent below the rusty windowsill of his Winnebago. Teeth chattering, he ran into Kong Headquarters and panicked, calling for Russell.
"How am I any help?" He asked. "Noodle can chop him into thirds."
"We need to borrow one of your taxidermy projects as prey so the psycho will leave."
"He's carrying an axe around, he's not a coyote. Ever suggested demons?"
"No!" He exploded and jammed the buttons on the lift. "Wake up, dullard!"
Almost instantly, 2d pounded down the staircase followed by Noodle.
"Again, Murooc-san?" She asked.
"There's an axe man after us!"
"Murdoc-san, there are no trees or people around. Really… on a landfill?"
"She's got a point," Russell shrugged. "We could sneak into the geep out back and drive downtown for instant assistance." Three band mates agreed on that suggestion, but Murdoc was playing stubborn.
'Um, no. We're going to find this Junkie and show him who's-"
WHACK! WHACK!
2d pointed apprehensively in the direction above Murdoc's head. Noodle gasped. Murdoc followed their gazes, gulping. A coal black retina glared through a crooked slit in the roof.
The hammer slammed hard again, the impact causing Murdoc to jump behind the sofa. Flakes of wood dribbled onto the floor. Russell scooped up a handful and peered through the slit.
"Excuse me, what is you issue?" he asked in a serious tone of manner. Noodle ran to track down the phone. 2d stared helplessly at Russell, staying off to the side.
"What… are you?" The axe man demanded. The tool was flung to the ground, nearly whisking 2d's head.
"Watch it, buddy," Russell hissed, pushing 2d out of the way.
"No, you watch it, gorilla-face," He mocked, ironically. He caught a glimpse of 2d and pointed. 2d pouted, realizing the joke was whirling at him. "Nice face. Could you hand me that axe over there?"
"D', don't," Russell warned.
"Come on, blueberry cap."
2d glanced nervously from Russell to this strange man and picked it up.
The man did not understand his plan and plastered a smile on his face. "Wow, gullible kid."
2d flinched. "I am twenty-four. And don't be racist to my friend."
"Give me the hammer, you molasses."
"No way."
He chuckled.
Panting, 2d scrambled onto the lift. He heard fierce pounding on the roof and Russell trying to blockade him. He ran into his room and stuffed the tool underneath his mattress.
"Use for actual necessity, there."
When he returned, Noodle was rambling in nonstop Japanese.
"私は混同するべきあなたがように日本語であなたの関心を引くことができるそして話そうと思っている。 私はある任意単語をリストし、去らなければならない: 豆腐、トラ、石、りんご…"
The axe man was dumbstruck and giggled, annoyed.
"Cute kid."
Russell reassured her to her bedroom, but she refused to budge.
"I am confident."
"I never said you weren't," He whispered, "But who knows what the creep will do to you. Murdoc, get out from there and help!"
Into the open stumbled the bassist, cursing under his breath. A hairy foot started fitting in the slit. 2d and Russell retrieved spatulas while Noodle answered the immediate doorbell.
"He's on the roof, take a ladder," She instructed. They told her to stay put behind the door until they handled this psycho. 2d was able to shock a toe or two while Russell snarled at the man. Shadows hovered over the slit and the man struggled to wiggle his foot out of the crack.
"I didn't murder," he slipped back onto his side.
"That's getting old," The first officer locked both wrists by his waist and chained them, the lock given a complex combination number.
Note: The quote:
"私は混同するべきあなたがように日本語であなたの関心を引くことができるそして話そうと思っている。私はある任意単語をリストし、去らなければならない: 豆腐、トラ、石、りんご"
means: "I am going to speak in Japanese in order to receive your attention and for you to be confused. I will list some random words and you will have to leave: tofu, tiger, rock, apple…"
