Hello everyone! So I know a few of you were confused because you couldn't see the chapter I posted last night. Long story short it screwed up when I posted it and I had to delete it and redo it. Anyways, here is the third and final chapter of the follow up of the one-shot I promised I would make end on a positive note. The way I wrote the P.O.V kind of turned out like the characters knew they were talking to an audience, like they were breaking the fourth wall sort of.
(Italics are flashbacks)
I hope you guys enjoy! (All creds to NBC, writers, I don't own characters, etc.)
Erin's P.O.V
You know that saying "you don't know what you have until its gone"? Well these past few days I have found that to be utterly and completely true. It had been a few days since I lost- no, let him go. That was more like it. I pushed him and pushed him and for what? I feel like my world isn't whole anymore.
I realized today that I want him back. Well actually, I realized it the second he walked out of the apartment that night but I didn't have the guts to say anything until not. Tonight. Tonight I was going to tell him that I want him back.
Another thing I realized: I ended it with him because it got the tiniest bit hard and when something gets hard it usually means I have something to lose. I guess figured I'd end it before I get hurt. Just end it now. Cut him loose while you have the chance because one, two years from now, you're going to get hurt. You were destined to get hurt. This was my thought process the night I let him go and I couldn't have been more wrong.
You may be wondering when I had all this time to start realizing things.
Well, today was the third day in a row we have been stuck doing paperwork instead of out in the field. I was praying for a case to get my mind off everything but no luck. Jay was probably wishing for a case even more. I mean since he didn't even want to look at me. He switched partners the day after the break up but we haven't even gotten a chance to leave the pen so- ha. Jokes on him, I guess. I joke to distract myself from the pain that constantly creeps into my system.
I keep trying to make eye contact with him, each glance is a little victory in my eyes but he doesn't seem to be letting me win very often.
The shuffle of everyone gathering their things break me out of my daze. My watch reads 5pm on the dot. I'm surprised I didn't notice it earlier since I wanted to get out of there so badly. I probably wanted to subconsciously stay because I knew this is the only time I get with Jay. Even if he is forced to sit across from me. It's still time together right? How pathetic of me I think.
I few minutes later I got an invite from Antonio to go to Molly's with the team but I politely declined. I think I hear Jay ask if he could take a rain check also. Apparently neither one of us was in the mood to socialize.
Besides, I had plans to show up at the place he was staying and declare my undying love for him. What could go wrong?
Jay's P.O.V
She keeps staring at me. Like she is trying to get some sort of reaction from me. Believe me when I tell you that I tried my hardest not to look up at her, smile, and tell her it was okay. That everything was going to be alright. That I wanted her back. But that would have been pathetic seeing that she made it pretty clear she just wanted to be friends. That we were "passed our expiration date" as she so eloquently put it. What kind of bull? Talking about our relationship the same way you could speak of spoiled milk.
I have been in a mood that past few days. For obvious reasons. The woman, who I knew to be the love of my life, took my heart out of my chest, and stomped on it. I okayed it with Voight to switch partners but we haven't actually been able to get out of the pen. Instead we have been doing paperwork for what seemed like days on end. Oh wait. It was days on end. Stupid criminals decide that now is a good time to take a break. I mean don't get me wrong- I'm all for stopping crime- but they could have at least decided to stop committing crimes when Erin and I were in our blissed out newbie couple phase. Erin must be getting a kick out of this. She didn't want me to switch partners anyway. I just want to leave and curl up on the couch and go home. Maybe I can sleep it off, this sad feeling I have been carrying around with me the passed few days. But why would it work tonight? It hasn't worked any of the past few nights. So why tonight?
My eyes are practically glued to the time on my computer screen while I watch the 4:59pm slowly roll over to the 5:00pm mark. Longest. Minute. Ever. I jump up and grab my stuff in record time while passing on an invite to Molly's.
"Uh can't tonight. Raincheck?" I say when I fast walk past Antonio's desk and down the stairs.
Can't. I laughed at my excuse. It was more like "my girl dumped me and shattered my heart so I'm not feeling like talking to anyone" but unfortunately there was no way I could encompass that into a couple simple words without sounding bitter so I stick with that one word. Can't.
But he nods his head and seems satisfied with my answer. I silently give thanks.
When I got back to my brother's apartment I decided to make myself at home by going through his DVR and ordering take out. He didn't get home for a few more hours since he had crazy hours as a doctor and all.
Somewhere between the second and third beer I chugged and I had to go to the bathroom. I walked into Will's bedroom to get to his connected bathroom since it was closer than the guest bathroom. It was weird being in his room, in fact, I don't even think I have been in here for more than a few seconds. Might as well take my time and find any secrets he's hiding, ya know? Go through the mail on his dresser and what have you (Im kidding).
On the way out of the bathroom and through his room to get back to the living room, I see a picture out of the corner of my eye.
It was my picture.
The Polaroid of Erin and I on our first date. It was tapped back together.
How did he get it? Leave it to Will to be the nosiest person you have ever met.
I studied the picture and feel a tug on the corners of my mouth as I see the genuinely happy smile on Erin's face. What I wouldn't give to be the cause of that smile again I thought.
/
It was a rainy Saturday and Jay and Erin were spending it curled up on the couch watching movies together. They had only been dating a few weeks but they were both happier than they had ever been. They didn't have to hide their love anymore. Everyone knew. They could finally be a real couple.
Jay was laying down with his feet propped up on the couch with Erin next to him while she mindlessly drew circles on his t-shirt clad chest.
Something must have been funny in the movie because Erin let out a laugh. He wasn't paying much attention. Jay was drifting into a sleep when her laugh brought him back to reality.
He ran his left hand through her soft hair, fingering her dirty blonde curls.
"I like hearing you laugh" He whispered from above her. It soon came to be his favorite sound. The vibrations he felt against his body when she laughed a real laugh. That was his favorite thing he had ever felt.
Her answer was a light kiss to his chest and a tug on his t-shirt, pulling him closer to her.
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah"
"Tell me a joke then" She turned her head so she could look at him, her head laying in his lap.
He continued to play with her hair as he thought of a joke to tell her. Anything for his girl.
"Hm let me think" He mused. She giggled at his attempt to find a joke again.
There it was again. That laugh that made him weak in the knees even though he was sitting down.
"Once upon a time" He started, looking at the television while Erin starred at him contently.
She was looking up at him, her head still resting in his lap. She could watch him talk forever, stare into his eyes for an eternity.
"Wait" She stopped him and he looked down at her.
"What?"
"Thats the beginning of a story, not a joke"
"Bare with me Er, will you?"
She playfully scoffed and went along with it. He continued to tangle her hair in his fingers but this time he locked his eyes with hers.
"Once upon a time. There was a fool of a man who fell in love with a girl he was told he could never had. Being as stubborn as he is, he pursued her anyway. She rejected him at first, was super mean to him".
Erin giggled as she realized where this was going.
"No, I mean like super mean. She didn't even let him drive"
She let. out a loud laugh and playfully punched his arm.
Suddenly she got serious for a moment and kept eye contact with him.
His head creased as he wondered why she got serious all of a sudden.
"Tell me how the story ends" She whispered.
"Well" He began and grabbed her hand with his hand that wasn't in her hair, intertwining their fingers.
"She eventually fell for him too. And one day, when the time is right, he's going to ask the girl to marry him so they can be together forever".
He could see the tears in her eyes.
She reached her thumb up to his face, rubbing his stubble covered jawline.
"Promise?"
"Promise"
/
Jay's P.O.V
The banging on the front door broke me out of my trance. I grabbed the picture and placed it in my back pocket. What was I going to do with it? I had no idea.
The banging continued as I reached the door and opened it.
Erin.
"Eri-" I could barely get out before she stormed passed me and started frantically pacing in the living room.
"What's it going to take, Jay?! For you to forgive me I mean. I don't want to do this anymore. I- I can't do this anymore. I made a mistake. Is that was you want to hear from me? I made a mistake I want you, I need you. I need you in my life because without you its like- its like".
"Erin... Erin!"
She finally stopped her stammering and yelling when I shouted her name just as loudly while placing my hands on her shoulders.
She was out of breath from her frantic outburst so I give her a second to calm down, my hands leaving her shoulders as I put them by my own sides.
"What are you saying" I simply asked, my voice back to normal now. She stares at me with a pleading look in her eyes.
"I made a mistake"
"Why? Why did you end?"
Because Jay I-"
"Yes?"
"Because I don't know Im...I"
"Spit it out, Erin" I say a little louder than I probably should have.
"Im damaged goods!" She yelled at me.
My face must have gone white because I feel like a corpse in that moment. Did she really think of herself as damaged? Erin Lindsay was by no means damaged. She was perfect. How could she not know that? All I knew was that I was going to make sure she knew how perfect she was before she left this apartment. She was never to feel damaged again.
I walk a step closer to her, filling the space between us. I take her face in my hands and wipe a stray tear with my thumb.
"Why on earth would you think that?"
I see her swallow a lump in there throat before speaking
"Because of where I came from. The way I grew up I was taught not to love, not to trust. And I want to love and trust you, Jay, you have to believe me. Im just not quite sure how yet. But if you give this another chance then I swear to you I will try my hardest to learn".
"Oh baby" I whisper while my hands are still holding either side of her face.
I then kiss her forehead and close my eyes while trying to come up with a way to tell her how perfect she is to me.
I pull away and grab her hand as I lead her to sit on the couch next to me. She sits down criss-cross on the couch facing me. I place my hands on both of her knees and smile while I look in her eyes.
"Do you remember when you tried setting me up with your friends?"
She shook her head slowly.
"And do you remember why you said you would never set me up again?"
She tried to force a smile "I said because you don't know a good thing when you see it".
"Well you were wrong. Because I saw you and I knew you were good. Er, you are the best thing in my life. You make my life so much better than I could ever imagine"
She smiled again but this time it was a real smile.
"And I promise I will make an effort every day to show you how good you are. You are perfect, baby. Trust me".
Then she surprised me by leaning in to kiss me. It was soft. It was good. One of my favorite kisses we have shared.
It was perfect.
Just like her.
/
She had always thought of herself as damaged goods, unfixable. But as their relationship progressed, he slowly but surely began to put her broken pieces back together. She was as complicated as a thousand piece puzzle he had spent months working on. With every kiss, every hug, every meaningful glance, each one was a piece of glue putting her broken pieces back together. He smoothed her frayed edges with his gentle touch until she was whole again
You were never damaged in my eyes he whispered.
Thank you for reading the story! Review if you would like?
