Chapter 3

The river was the last place I wanted to be. I knew while I was there, memories of my sister would haunt me. Did they want to remind me I had killed Mosskit? When I arrived, Rosepaw and Fernpaw were already there, a pile of fish on the shore. "Silverpaw! I caught my first fish!" Fernpaw meowed. I nodded. Rosepaw added, "And I caught three!" I gave it another nod. I didn't bother telling them the scene in front of me was something completely different than what they saw; the day my sister drowned because of me will always remain fresh in my mind while I was here. Trying to push away the memories, I sat down at the edge of the river.

I had managed to catch a fish at last but I could not summon up any pride for my first catch. Fernpaw had walked away with two, and Rosepaw had caught four. They were racing each other back to camp when our mentors told us to head in. I simply walked in silence back home. After dropping my pathetic offering on the pile, I found my way over to the apprentices' den. I still couldn't think of it as mine and found myself missing the nest I shared with Willowshadow and my sisters. That was such a happy time in my life. I found a patch of moss and laded down in it. Never had I felt so alone.

Half an hour passed. I could hear the other apprentices outside the den; they were talking and laughing. I could also hear complaints. They must be trying out their fighting moves. I thought I heard my name, but I told myself I was being paranoid. Oakpaw pushed his way through the den and looked around for a second before coming over to me.

"Silverpaw, what happened with Mosskit was not your fault. You didn't push her in the river or force her to come with you." I shook my head. Oakpaw was nice but he didn't understand.

"If I hadn't suggested we run off, she would still be here. She'd still be alive!" Fresh guilt swept over me, as I again recognized the truth in my words. Why did I do that? My dream had made me selfish.

Oakpaw looked me in the eye seriously. "Silverpaw, listen to me. Seriously. Your sisters and parents are worried about you. Rosepaw's worried about you. I-I'm worried about you…" I narrowed my eyes in confusion as he trailed off, seeming uncertain. Then he spoke again, "Everyone has their own destiny; Starclan gives each kit a one when they are born. Sometimes it hurts the cat, and those who love her. But they do not do it to be cruel. They truly have each cat's best interest at heart. They must have decided they needed her more than we did. But just because she isn't beside you doesn't mean she isn't looking out for you. She still loves you. And she'd want you to live your life to the fullest."

For the first time in two moons I felt a little better enough to give him a small smile. I purred, "Thanks Oakpaw. I really appreciate hearing that." I paused, the happy feelings disappearing abruptly, suddenly feeling unsure if the truth was there in his words. No matter if it was her destiny, I could have changed it so easily. Changed it so she could live. "Do you really mean that? I want so much for that to be true."

Oakpaw nodded. "I really think you don't have any reason to be guilty. This was meant to happen. This is the destiny Starclan picked for her."

I did toss and turn all night, but once I fell asleep, it was one of the most restful nights since the accident. When I awoke in what I knew could only be a dream, I was in a shimmery forest. Everything sparkled; The leaves on the trees, the tree trunks and there were shiny flowers and even the grass seemed glossy. A cat seemed to materialize from nowhere and she started walking toward me.

My mouth fell open wide with astonishment as I recognized the gray and white tabby, despite the fact that she now had starlight glistening brightly from her pelt. She was smaller than I remember but still had a smile on her face like always. When she reached me, we touched noses and I gave her ear a lick.

Mosskit said, "Starclan has seen you lost in your sadness, so they have allowed me to come down and share dreams with you tonight. But Oakpaw was one hundred percent right when he said Starclan gives every kit destinies and that this one was mine. I wish I had spent more time with you and our sisters, but I will not go against our warrior ancestors. They aren't being cruel. Starclan is preparing you for your destiny. For you to completely fulfill your fate, you need to be strong." My guilt had been building since Oakpaw had said goodnight.

"How could anything good come from your death? From my killing you? And it hasn't made me stronger, only weaker and sadder." I told my sister truthfully.

Mosskit shook her head and meowed, "Silverkit it is not your fault I died. I don't blame you or anyone. Starclan gave me the curiosity so I'd jump in the river, cause that was the destiny they had to give me. They didn't want me to die. Please, stop feeling all this guilt and sadness. I want you to remember me with smiles and laughter. That's how I remember you and our sisters, and Willowshadow and Rockshade" She meowed. I knew Mosskit was trying to cheer me up, and it worked to my surprise. I felt happier and more alive for the first time in a long while. And the guilt that hung over me like a dark cloud was replace with a warm sun, giving me freedom.

I was about to reply when my sister spoke suddenly and quickly. "There's one thing I was told to pass onto you." Mosskit suddenly looked wise and strong beyond her years, the light gone from her eyes, "It is this: Shade provides awareness but Ferns must burn before Sliver can light the forest. " She began to fade slowly. "I love you my sister, take care of yourself." I cried out, "No don't go! Please!" It was useless. All the starlight was gone and I found myself waking up in an ordinary apprentices' den

A/N: To all my readers, I wrote this story last year but I had the sudden urge to go over and edit it for mistakes and to make the writing a little better