I own nothing but the plot. Sorry for the long wait, homework is kicking my ass. Reminder that Hermione is of age due to time turner, and for the sake of this story Ginny is as well.
Saturday passed way too quickly for the four dare doers and way too slow for the eight others who were dying of curiosity. Remus and Sirius were not allowed to read to notes before delivering them and both champion teams refused to reveal what their dares were, even though they could. Everyone else was blissfully unaware of what they were walking into that night as everyone filed in for dinner.
As soon as the food appeared it was time for Draco and Blaise to enact their dare, the only one who was in on what they were doing was Theo due to them needing a third to do what they were planning. The dare told them they had to do it at the beginning of dinner just after the food was served. Blaise went first, he stood on the bench and yelled for everyone's attention, every student and teacher was watching him stand on the bench at the Slytherin table, so he cleared his throat looked right at Hermione and stated:
"I would just like everyone to know that I would like every girl in the castle to stop shamelessly flirting with me as I'm about as straight as a rainbow and it gets pretty annoying!" He yelled as loud as needed to be sure everyone heard him. Theo stood next and everybody looked at him in surprise.
"Don't look at me like that you perverse idiots; I'm not gay I just wanted to say that I'm not attracted to him so don't play it that way, I've got my sights set on a lovely girl." Theo yelled before sitting and Draco took his place.
"I would also like to say that I prefer my girls like I like my coffee..."
"Smoking hot!?" some random Ravenclaw shouted, effectively cutting him off.
"No, actually I hate coffee. For those idiots who don't get it I'm strictly dickly! Thank you and enjoy your dinner." He yelled and sat down; Draco began filling his plate as he heard the laughter from the fellows involved in the game. Black and Lupin included.
"Well that had to be the dare you gave them, I thought for sure they were both straight." Ron said quietly with a hopeful gleam in his eyes.
"Yeah well ours is coming up..." Ginny said as Hermione was preparing for their performance with deep breathing.
"Going to tell us what you're doing?" They both shook their heads. After dinner and just as desert was being served Ginny and Hermione walked up to the front of the room and stood in front of Dumbledore. The great hall watched as the three had some kind of exchange until finally Dumbledore nodded and Hermione smiled slightly as she turned to the student body.
"Students and teachers!" Hermione yelled before passing it to Ginny.
"Tonight, in the spirit of the first unfairly taken house points of the year Hermione and I would like to sing you all a song to inspire some competiveness between not only houses but friends..."
"Some of you muggle-borns might recognize this as it is fairly popular, just don't ruin it for the others."
"Hope you enjoy!"
(Ginny, Hermione, Both, actions)
"Anything you can do, I can do better!" Hermione started as music began to play, while looking at Ginny
"Ha!" Ginny retorted
"I can do anything better than you!" Ginny looked around in disbelief, both were surprisingly good actors.
"No you can't!"
"Yes I can!"
"No you can't!"
"Yes I can!"
"No you can't!"
"Yes I can, yes I can!"
"Anything you can be, I can be greater! Sooner or later I'm greater than you!" Ginny sang as she walked down the aisle between Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff.
"No you're not!" Hermione followed Ginny's moves
"Yes I am!"
"No you're not!"
"Yes I am!"
"No you're not!"
"Yes I am, yes I am!" They met in the middle of the aisle and glared at each other face to face. Ginny smirked and continued
"I can shoot a partridge, with a single cartridge!" A few people gulped at the thought of Ginny's aim and Bat boogey hex.
"I can get a sparrow, with a bow and arrow!" Hermione retorted menacingly and many in the hall shivered from the memories of her aim as it was one of the best.
"I can live on bread and cheese!" A few chuckled seeing this as the lie it was.
"And only that?" Hermione asked adopting an innocent expression.
"Yes!"
"So can a Rat!" Hermione smirked at Remus and Sirius who were laughing their butts off with the rest of the hall.
"Any note you can reach, I can go higher!" A few people thought of the fat lady when she tried to break the glass with only her voice.
"I can sing anything higher than you!" A few people snorted in opposition
"No you can't" Ginny sang in her normal singing voice.
"Yes I can!" Hermione sang slightly higher
"No you can't" Ginny on upped Hermione
"Yes I can!" Hermione bested Ginny
"No you can't" Ginny beat Hermione again
"Yes I can!" Hermione tried again
"No you can't" Ginny out did Hermione
"Yes I can!" Hermione was giving Ginny a run for her money
"No you can't" Ginny was really trying now
"Yes I can!" Hermione was still beating Ginny in high notes
"No you can't" Ginny gave one last attempt
"Yes I can!"Hermione was in the realm of breaking glasses at this point and everyone was surprised by this.
"How do you sing that high?" Ginny asked in a normal voice
"I'm a girl!" Hermione retorted with a smirk, Ginny glared and they continued.
"Anything you can say I can say softer." Most people doubted that as Hermione practically lived in the library.
"I can say anything softer than you"
"No you can't" Ginny and Hermione, much like the higher part progressively got softer with each line. They were moving again, this time to the staff table; Hermione at one end and Ginny at the other. With each line they sang they took one step closer to the center.
"Yes I can"
"No you can't"
"Yes I can"
"No you can't"
"Yes I can"
"No you can't"
"Yes I can!"Hermione yelled, startling everyone who had to strain to hear the near whispers of the song. She and Ginny were in front of Dumbledore and they joined hands and began skipping to the Gryffindor table.
"I can drink my liquor faster than a flicker!" Ron made a loud noise of agreement and anger at his little sister drinking.
"I can drink it quicker and get even sicker!" Harry and Ron both nodded vigorously, which everyone saw due to the girls having migrated to them by this point. Most had looks of disbelief but the Gryffindors, Remus, Sirius, and Snape were in agreement remembering the post war party at Grimmauld when they witnessed it firsthand.
"I can open any safe!"
"Without being caught?" Hermione asked in faux astonishment
"Yes!"
"That's what I thought you crook!" Hermione sang in accusation and motioning from Snape to Ginny and holding up one finger. Snape raised a brow knowing she was indicating his private stores being stolen from during her second year.
"Any note you can hold, I can hold longer!"
"I can hold any note longer than you!"
"No you can't"
"Yes I can"
"No you can't"
"Yes I can"
"No you can't"
"Yes I can... Yes I can!" Hermione sang holding the second I for at least 30 seconds, impressing the entire population of Hogwarts.
"Yes you can!" Ginny said impressed and holding the a in can for a few moments.
"Anything you can say, I can say faster!" Ginny sang running from Hermione and to the far side of the Slytherin table.
"I can say anything faster than you!" Hermione sang following after Ginny but stopping on the close side of the Slytherin table.
"No you can't" Ginny sang, she and Hermione took turns getting progressively faster with each line trying to outdo each other while chasing one another around the Slytherin table.
"Yes I can"
"No you can't"
"Yes I can"
"No you can't"
"Yes I can" Hermione sang so fast it didn't even sound like words
"I can jump a hurdle!"
"I can wear a girdle!"
"I can knit a sweater!" Ginny smiled as they met in front of the staff table again.
"I can fill it better." Hermione sang and was met with many sounds of agreement, much to the annoyance of the resident werewolf and the amusement of his best friend and Snape who'd seen the attraction.
"I can do most anything!" Ginny sang looking cocky
"Can you bake a pie?" Ginny frowned
"No..." Hermione smiled at this then frowned and continued the song
"Neither can I!" she pouted and Ginny giggled a little
"Anything you can sing, I can sing sweeter!" Sirius was in full agreement to this but the rest of the hall was not.
"I can sing anything sweeter than you!"
"No you can't" Ginny sang in a voice oddly like Elvis Presley's.
"Yes I can" Hermione sounded a little like Mary Poppins
"No you can't"
"Yes I can"
"No you can't"
"Yes I can"
"No you can't"
"Yes I can" To end the song both girls ran to the doors and sang the final notes in their best impersonation of the other.
"Yes I can!" "No, you can't" They sang at the same time holding the can and can't for a few moments before the background music stopped and the girls gave a grand bow. The great hall was silent for a moment and the girls ran out the doors. Moments after they left the occupants of the great hall were in stitches; even Snape and McGonagall were rumored to have smiled a little.
"Now I understand why neither of them wanted to tell what their dare was." Neville whispered to Harry and Ron between laughs.
