Author's note: Every character belongs to Stephenie Meyer! My dirty mind, however, is all mine! ;P This FanFiction contains sexual content and curse words. Hence, Rated M! You have been warned, kids!
Sorry I haven't been updating my story for almost one month! You waited for the new chapter so long, I feel like an ass! I actually wanted to let Jake appear in this chapter but I got carried away, ending up writing way more than
I planned to. So I had to split it. Jake will enter the stage in the middle of chapter 4! BUT you will meet another important character in this one! :)
Chapter 3 - Day 2 - Tuesday
"One hot dog, please," I yelled, trying to drown the traffic noises.
I found myself in the middle of NYC after leaving the hotel, not knowing where to go. Edward simply took off, not granting me another look. I sat in our hotel room for at least one hour, paralyzed by what happened. I was feeling helpless, until I decided to get out of the hotel, in need to clear my mind.
Fortunately, Angela, the receptionist, was kind enough to give me a tourist map of NYC. After a while, my stomach started revolting since my breakfast was down right disappointing. Luckily, NYC was full of food carts, waiting for hungry people like me. I didn't want to waste my oh so precious time looking for a fancy restaurant so I just went for the next hot dog cart. " Who doesn't like hot dogs, right," I whispered to myself.
"There you go, Miss! Enjoy your hot dog and have a nice day!" Another big smile from someone I didn't even know. Sigh... If only Edward would smile at me for a change. I was still dumbfounded by today's breakfast, trying do decipher his behaviour. What was wrong with him? This... hatred in his eyes, then the utter vulnerability flashing and last but not least his tears... When was the last time he cried anyway? I felt so... I couldn't even put a finger on my feelings, for crying out loud!. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to be there for him but I was so shocked and frightened at the same time. When did our relationship become so complicated and confusing?
"Miss? Is everything alright? Your hot dog is getting cold... " Worried eyes met mine, mixed with slight amusement.
"Oh," I mumbled, pulling myself together, "no, everything's okay. I, umm, could I get some extra onions, please?"
WHAT? Way to go, Bella. That was gracious! Not only would he doubt your saneness but now you even made the impression you were a greedy bitch. Too late now. That Edward situation was playing tricks on my mind. Why can't I forget about it for at least ten minutes?
I quickly reached for my new hot dog, avoiding any eye contact with the friendly man opposite me. I was just too embarrassed.
"Pull yourself together, Bella," I hissed, a déjà-vu from last night. I recalled how I felt and the same helplessness and frustration crawled through my body.
No! Not anymore. I have dealt with this shit long enough. I wanted to be strong, take control. And yes, repeating it didn't seem to help me realizing this plan. I needed distraction. No Edward. No problems. Only me and NYC! At least for a few hours.
I shoved the hot dog down my throat, not being able to actually taste it but I didn't care. My stomach would thank me anyway. I threw my napkin onto the pavement and wiped my hands clean on my jeans. And again: I didn't care. That was my problem. I cared about Edward too much. I put his needs above mine, always wanting to satisfy him. But what about me? Edward was definitely not satisfying me - he could though, by fucking my brains out, but that was not what I needed. I just needed... him. His presence. I was attached to him and no one could change that. Now, realizing he seemed to slip through my fingers, I slowly started going mad. I sort of felt that I couldn't do anything about it... What if he didn't love me anymore? Would I be able to go through this a second time?
The traffic around me oddly seemed to calm me down. The honking, the overall noise gave the environment a hectic pace which helped me keep my mind off my problems pretty well. My steps slowed down, so did my heart beat. I took a deep breath, inhaling the air. Maybe I was just drugged by all the exhaust fumes but I somehow felt at home in NYC. I couldn't wrap my head around this but this city just got a whole other charisma. I had a good feeling about my little expedition, like I would meet someone who could take the pain away, or simply distract me. I was hoping for distraction, that I was certain about.
Only one destination popped into my head which could give me the peace and serenity I needed. The breeze of fresh air to clear my disturbing thoughts out: Central Park.
I reached for the tourist map in my bag, hectically opening it and looking for the big green splot.
There I was. No one but me and my sketch book. I would always carry it with me, in case I stumbled upon a scenery worth capturing on paper. Drawing became my therapy. There was no better way to process feelings, remembering the painful stab into my heart after Edward has left me. I would cry for hours and not feel anything, numbed by the pain. Cry for hours believing he'd never come back again. Cry for hours and feel my heart get sucked into a black hole...
Never again. I knew Edward was unhappy and it was just a matter of time until he'd hurt me again. And I would be ready, I would be prepared for the metaphorical punch into my face.
My pencil glided over the paper, making that slight scratching noise I adored that much. I would feel calm instantly every time it hit my ear, getting lost in the act of drawing. I looked up from my 'masterpiece' watching the trees move in unison with the wind. I heard the rustling of the leaves, birds singing a soothing lullaby, turning off the noise of the streets behind me.
I found a nice little spot near the big Meadow, not far away from where I started my trip. I just started walking, letting my instincts guide me and when I heard a mass of people chattering, screaming and laughing I knew I found Central Park. It wasn't my intention to socialize, though it would have been cool to get to know the New Yorkers but I just needed a moment to myself. I sighed at the irony, realizing I have been alone for the past couple of months. My subconsiousness, my inner Goddess, scolded me for that, knowing a little company would do me good...
I reached for my bag, looking for my iPod which was rather difficult considering all that stuff I hoarded in it... Girls and their bags. A mystery.
"Ah! There you are," I mumbled when my hands finally found my iPod making their way through a chaos consisting of my wallet, make up, several keys I haven't used in ages, my blackberry, and a bottle of water. Mh... Not too much but things would get lost in it anyway...
I plugged the buds into my ears, put the iPod on shuffle, letting it choose from a variety of songs I have gathered throughout the years. I adjusted the volume, intending the music not to be too loud because I wanted to listen to the birds' twitter as well.
I picked up my pencil again and caught a cute bird sitting on the arm rest of a lonely bench opposite me. It was a few feet away, giving me the time to capture the creature with my photographic eyes. Click! Click! Gotcha! Now fly away, your friends are waiting for you.
Right after I continued drawing, my iPod seemed to have made up its mind and chose a song. A smooth guitar sound began and a relaxing beat set in... Now that was a familiar tune!
Well, I was sitting, waiting, wishing
You believed in superstitions
Then maybe you'd see the signs
But Lord knows that this world is cruel
And I ain't the Lord, no, I'm just a fool
And in love with somebody don't make them love you
Jack Johnson it was then, all right. I haven't listened to his songs for ages so I was content with that choice. His gentle voice underlinded the environement I found myself in perfectly. I closed my eyes for a second and took a deep breath, feeling like I was at the beach with a delicious cocktail in my hand - not a pencil. Jack Johnson's songs have always had this relaxing attitude, making me forget all my troubles for a while. It helped he was from Hawaii and surfing all day... Jealous. Not the surfing part though. I'd hit my face with the surfboard in no time!
After a while I started interpreting the lyrics which, unfortunately, matched my current situation perfectly. I was sitting, waiting and wishing at Central Park. Waiting for Edward to tell me what's going on, waiting for him to fully open up. Wishing we could go back to the start, longing for that love sparking in his eyes when we first met.
I was being a fool, believing all of this could work. I signed up for the long-hour-flights, the countless evenings and nights without him by my side because I didn't want him to forget about me... The thought of being alone at home, not having him around me, was too disturbing and violating. So I came with him. I realized how dumb I have been but I just couldn't seem to find a solution to my problems.
I would just confront him. Yes. We'd talk about everything and his fucking job would have to wait for some hours, was that too much to ask? Seriously? Was I not worth a one-hour-talk?
Must I always be waiting, waiting on you?
Must I always be playing, playing your fool?
You tell him, Jack Johnson! Big fat NO! It was ironic how a simple song would give me the clarity I needed to wrap my head around this whole fucked up situation. Yesterday, I told myself it was okay. That I'd have to endure him taking more from me than I could give him. He was being selfish, yes, and I accepted it.
But not anymore. I loved him, he loved me. We both signed up to this... mystery that was our relationship. Who said it was going to be easy? Who said we wouldn't have to put a lot of effort into it to make it work?
However, all these questions I kept asking myself constantly made me doubt my theory. As much as it pained me to say - maybe we were finished. Maybe what was left of our love was nothing but a dead shell, a lifeless relict reminding us of what we once had.
Enough of this bullshit now. I sighed, silently cursing myself that I just wouldn't keep my mind off the predicament Edward and I were trapped in. I turned Jack Johnson louder, slowly forgetting about my anger - for at least some minutes.
I picked up my penicl again and continued drawing like I was in a frenzy, desperately trying to keep my mind off You-Know-Who. My hand flew over the paper, quickly finishing my work. I liked using nothing but my pencil. I didn't like colouring my drawings, mainly because it was an impossibility for me to capture Mother Nature's colours correctly. I always felt I wasn't doing her justice. The rich, vivid green of the trees was too beautful to ruin it with my cheap oil paint.
I looked up, satisfied, a feeling of achievement rushing through my body. I looked at my clock, astonished that I have spent almost one hour finishing my drawing and was super happy about the fact that I was able to keep my mind off him during that period of time.
6:12 pm. The sun has already made up her mind to descent behind the ocean of trees infront of me giving them a golden complexion. I switched off my iPod, gathered all my belongings I spread on the grass around me, intending to get back to the hotel when suddenly someone caught my eye.
He was sitting on the bench opposite me, resting his arm on the arm rest which was occupied by the small bird minutes... okay, hours ago. I couldn't quite wrap my head around his appearance, only one word came to my mind: handsome. All I knew is I wanted to draw him and as creepy as this might have sounded my hand reached for the infamous pencil in my bag, my eyes not leaving his gorgeous face. He just sat there, like he owned that bench or even Central Park. His presence was full of self-esteem and confidence while not being cocky and arrogant. He was just... there, in the moment, enjoying himself by just looking around, and relaxing while drinking a Star Bucks frappucino out of a big straw, wrapping his plump lips around the piece of plastic.
The beautiful stranger pulled his iPhone out of his pocket and started texting, putting his frappucino aside. His eyebrows furrowed, concentrating on what he was writing. He was wearing a short-sleeved shirt, exposing his intimidating muscles. His marble skin was almost glistening in the evening sun, every string of vein contracting under the motion of his fingers. It was a delightful view, to be honest. I gotta admit though - he was a bit too buff for my taste, preferring the leaner type of guy, like Edw... that guy.
My eyes wandered to his face and the first thing I noticed was that it didn't seem to fit his body. His wild, darkbrown curly hair, the big, piercing blue eyes were totally out of place. I expected a more... manly face. To support my theory he smiled the most ravishing smile I have seen for a long time, exposing his dimples on each of his cheeks, leaving me breathless, guessing he received a funny text message. It was like a child's face was placed on a bodybuilder's body. I couldn't help but smile, too. He sent positive vibes my way, letting me forget my problems.
And then my heart stopped.
I wasn't checking this guy out or anything... Well, I was but not intentionally, like I wanted him or anything like that but he sudddenly looked up and misunderstood me smiling at him as a pathetic way to flirt with him. I could see the spark in his eyes, licking his lips before he stuffed his iPhone back into his pocket and threw the now empty frappucino cup into the bin next to him.
FUCK ME! He was coming to me! Approaching me like a tiger before he'd go for the kill and pounce on to his prey - which was, according to his determination, me! He totally got this the wrong way, shoot!
Every step he took made me flinch. I just didn't know what to say to him. Oh, hey, I was just checking you out with the intention to draw you because you're so handsome? Yeah, right. Should I just run away and make a total fool of myself for possibly tripping over a branch or anything else that would get in my way? Na ah. Confrontation was the key.
His smile got bigger and bigger, his dimples ornamenting his clean shaven skin. The heck with it! A simple talk wouldn't hurt anyone... right? I would just have a kind conversation with him and get rid of him in some way. Like I already said, though, some company would actually pretty cool and who knew? Maybe I could make a friend in NYC!
I pulled myself together. How hard could it be, talking to that beauitful stranger? He got his weapons, obviously being his physical appearance, I got mine. I wasn't that hideous, either, or he wouldn't even approach me in the first place.
"Hey," I said, untangling my legs from my tailor seat, noticing how stiff they have become over the past few hours.
"Hey," he replied, his booming voice sending shivers down my spine. Damn, Jack Johnson got nothing on the smoothness that was his voice. Nothing compared to... Edward's stupid, disarming one though.
"Stay seated, let me come down to you," he suggested, a playful grin on his face, exposing his flawless teeth.
"No, no," I disagreed, grabbing my bag and getting up, "I could use a walk!" I stood up straight and looked into the pool of cold water that were his eyes. His grin disappeared, making room for a slight pout. Then a devilish grin...
"What makes you think I wanna take a walk with you, huh?" Wow. I knew he was being sarcastic but that guy knew how to woo a girl... I bet he had a lot of practice. Okay, my turn now.
"Dude, you were the one coming up to me! So? Are you in for a walk or are you gonna strike root down there?" I pointed at his feet, my eyes still capturing his.
He thought about what I said a few seconds, playfully flicking his tongue as if I was the one who wanted to get to know him when acutally he came up to me. That sneaky bastard...
"Touché! If you're begging me like that? How could I possibly say no?" Another huge smile. What was it with NYC and their smiley folks? I could get used to that, to be honest!
I most certainly began to enjoy his company although we have barely talked for one minute. There was nothing sexual going on, for my part, and I was pretty sure he didn't intend to screw me, either. I was way out of his league, he could even be a model! I bet it would be a delight for Edward to shoot him...
"So," he began, noticing my absence, making him look like an idiot, just standing there and waiting for me to quit my inner monologue. "Shall we?"
"Sure! Sorry, I am a bit distracted..." A sigh left my mouth, louder than I expected it to be. The beautiful stranger seemed to notice my weird mood, my eye-brows furrowing everytime Edward crosses my mind.
"Whatever it is, I am sure you will figure it out." We walked, an armlength separated, through Central Park, not having a specific destination in mind. Well, I didn't have one. I didn't know where he headed, I couldn't read minds, so to say. However, he seemed to be the type of person who was actually pretty good at reading other people. His eyes met mine every now and then and I could sense a certain amount of concern. Like he cared about me which was utter nonsense. We just met, why would he give a shit about what was wrong with me? Unless he really wanted to get to know me and not just in a platonic kind of way... I needed to clarify the situation.
"Umm, I don't want to be rude or so -," I began but stopped, stumbling over his name which I didn't know. I looked up, a big fat question mark in my eyes.
"Emmett," he answered quickly, "Emmett McCarty. I am sorry I didn't formally introduce myself to you..."
"No problem, Emmett!" It felt weird saying his name, my lips forming every letter carefully like I just said my first word. The only person I have really talked to over the past few months was Edward. Sad but true. It hit me like a lightning... I was so dumb. Practically giving up every social life just to make sure I mime the perfect girlfriend. What was I thinking? I have always been the loner kind of type, to be honest, but I didn't say no when my highschool friends wanted to go out with me. It wasn't like they needed to drag me out of the house. Emmett was nice, this was nice. The current place I have found myself together with him and this whole situation.
"I'm Bella. Bella Swan." I stopped walking, reaching my hand out to him, giving me a firm hand shake. I felt his skin touch mine and surprisingly, his hand was cooler than mine which was shockingly odd because I basically was the biggest human icicle in the world. Even the thought of winter, the snow flogging my face and body, being wrapped in tons of layers of clothes which didn't really help the uncoordinated... No, thanks.
"Nice to meet you, Bella!" His face lit up and he smiled his signature smile again, warming me, a magnificent contrast to his cold hands.
"The pleasure is all mine, Emmett!" I winked, trying to look as happy as possible. He didn't have to deal with my fucked up issues. He didn't deserve that.
"Sooo," he spoke, looking at me appraisingly, "you were about to tell me something? About not intending to be rude..."
"Oh, right! Yeah, it's nothing to worry about, I just wanted to clarify this," pointing at him and then me. I felt stupid all of a sudden. What if he just wanted to have a conversation with me? Wouldn't it be kind of snotty to assume he was into me? Anyway, couldn't take it back now, could I?
I was taking a deep breath, just about to tell him I got a boyfriend when he interrupted me. "You got a boyfriend, I get it, Bella!"
I was speechless. I looked at him, baffled, and he just smiled, quietly laughing to himself because I must have looked like a maniac. That guy was good. He could make a shit load of money as a fortune teller. How did he do that, reading me like an open book? He was just like Edward on that territory...
"Yes, Emmett... You're right but-"
"How did I know, you wanna know" he asked, widening his eyes as if it was obvious I was dating somebody and I was just oblivious to that fact.
"Look at you, Bella," he purred, his eyes wandering up and down, examing my body from head to toe. "You're beautiful. And believe me, I have seen a lot of women!"
He chuckled, making me feel stupid, like a child. That was how Edward must have felt when I rebuked him last night. See, I knew he was a ladie's man but don't expect me to get all weak in the knees, mister! You're not getting a bite of me!
"Wow, what a way to charm a lady," I spat, "I knew you meant trouble..."
"Sorry for complimenting you then." He shrugged, as if I was missing something. As if he was the present I wouldn't receive now. What a douche! How did this conversation turn from hot to icecold?
"You know what? I am sorry. I am a bitch. The past couple of days have been draining and I shouldn't have taken my anger out on you..." My eyes found my feet, I was too ashamed to look him in the eyes. There I was, a wreck. Emmett was so kind to brighten my day and now I am the one destroying that. Unbelievable!
"Hey," he whispered, gently nudging me, "that's alright!" I met his gaze, comforting me. It really wasn't like he intented to pick me up, I could read it in his eyes. He simply wanted to be there for me, for whatever reasons. Quite frankly, I didn't care, either. Emmett made me feel better, eliminating the anger and frustration that has lit up because of Edward. Maybe he was feeling just as miserable as me, just needed someone to talk to...
"If you need someone to talk to," he began, his fingers searching for something in the back pocket of his jeans, "just call me, okay? I'm a great listener. I need to go now..."
He handed me his business card, a small wink becoming apparent on his face for a second. My fingers touched his, accepting the card. And then he walked away. Just like that.
I didn't know Emmett. He revealed nothing about himself, despite the fact that he likes women which is not very uncommon for an obviously straight man. I watched him disappear between the trees, both of his hands in his pockets, not looking back at me once. Our conversation did not proceed the way I thought it would. I had the nerves to snub him when all he wanted was to talk to me because I was the one flirting with him, unintentionally. I did him wrong. Big time!
I shook my head at my own behaviour, realizing I should actually call him right away and apologize again... This whole Edward dilemma slowly turned me into a wicked witch!
I looked at the card, decoding the letters. Suddenly, my jaw dropped.
Reviews are more than welcome! :) I hope you like Emmett 'cause I do! Have fun guessing why Bella's jaw dropped... *wink*
