Mum: Yes of course it is, I knew you'd read it. That's why I put that note there, love you

Caitlin POV

I just glare up at the social worker- Ella or whatever her name is when she's trying to get me to come out of the car. Sure! Well why don't you just get out of the way then so I can run away again- instead of you putting me in another lousy foster- home. I shake my head, then look around in the car. It is a lot smaller than what Toby's is.

Toby! I wonder if he has gone back to the car yet. I wonder if he's found it empty- where is he? Is he looking for me? What is he planning to do if he finds me? If I run away again, will we run into each other so I'm stuck with him again? Will I be safe in this house? This is a car… the social worker's car- cars are where the worse things happens. But because my social worker's stopped the car now- she wouldn't do anything like that- and she's on her way on letting me out- so she wouldn't? Would she? The questions are spinning in my head, but at last I turn around and jump out of the car. '

I'm walking behind me social worker- all the time ready to turn around and run if it turns out that my social worker is a bad person. But she never turns around to grab me or anything, as she walks up a few steps to the big house in front of me. A bald man- perhaps in his late middle- ages opened the door.

"Hello Ellie… hello Caitlin." He says and moves so Ellie can step over the threshold. I stay on the step, Ellie- oh that's her name- now I remember. She turns around towards me. "It's okay Caitie. No one's going to hurt you here." She says, I just stay at the step, my arms crossed over my chest and glaring over the others. First Ellie- then the man, and at last to the woman, the man's got his arm around a woman with reddish brown hair. She loosens himself from the man's arm and takes a couple of steps towards me, lifting her hand.

Without thinking any further my hands shoots up as I push the woman backwards shouting. "NO" The woman stumbles backwards and is on her way on falling when the man catches her. She stands up and they both look frowning at me. I feel myself slowly making my way backwards- oh no- Now I've really done it- They will be so mad. I look around, the door is closed, there is nowhere to run, as I press myself up against the wall.

Burt POV

"NO." Caitlin pushes Carole backwards, and I barely have the time to catch her when she falls. When Carole is standing on her own two feet, the child is pressing herself up against the wall- looking frightened at us two. I take a step towards her- in an attempt to calm her down, I put my hand up.

"Please don't hurt me." The girl screech. "Please don't hurt me- I'm sorry madam. I'm so, so, sorry. Please don't hurt me." I lower my hand, obviously- when I rose it- Caitlin thought that I was going to slap her.

"It's okay." I say in an attempt to comfort the child. "I've never hurt a child- neither has my wife, and we're not going to start now… I promise." I hear Ellie explain to Carole that Caitlin can't stand to be touched. I ask Caitlin if she'd like to see her room.

"Are you going to lock me in there?" she asks, in barely more than a whisper. I swallow- what on earth have this child been through- missing for three and a half years? What's happened since then? I shake my head, and hear myself saying- that of course we won't lock her in. Slowly, Caitlin takes one step forward, her shoulders are pulled up towards her ears, and slowly she's making her way past me- as far away as possible from any of us others, there is an almost awkward silence over the house as Caitlin stops and looks around the living room. Eventually, I walk over to her, kneel down a bit to reach her height and smiles.

"So… should we go upstairs and check out your room?" Caitlin hesitates, then slightly nods. I stand up, and lead her up the stairs and to the right in the hallway. I open the room to what was the storage- room until earlier today, and hit the lamp- button, nothing happens. I try again- nothing, the lamp isn't working. I sigh, then turn to Caitlin and smile.

"The lamp in the ceiling here doesn't seem to be working, I'll go see if I can find another lamp to put in here until I've fixed it." I leave the room, in Kurt's room I find a lamp, which I take to Caitlin's room. I turn it on. "Well that's better." I clap my hands together, Caitlin flinch at the sound.

"Burt?" I hear Carole's voice from downstairs. "Can you come downstairs for a minute?" I nod, make sure that Caitlin is okay, and then walk downstairs, I find Carole and Ellie in the living room, Ellie explains that she is in a rush- but still have to tell us a few things about the child that we're fostering.

"Her full name is Caitlin July Romero, she's thirteen, fourteen the fourth of July… She… She was in foster- care and was sent from one foster- home to another all the first ten years of her life- as a new- born she was left in a basket floating on the river." I hear Carole gasp- I know what she's thinking. How can anyone do that to a child? "She… went missing after running away from a foster- home in October three and a half years ago. About two A.M. yesterday, she came running into a gas- station, where she collapsed and was brought into the hospital- where one of the nurses recognized her from the pictures on the news… We have her old files here." Ellie hands us a folder. "But… only from what we can see of these three last years, she's showing clear signs of have getting severely abused and raped, she have barely spoken a word to a doctor, to me or to the police- if she knows anything about the man or woman who hurt her she's not telling us. We… this house will only be a temporary home for her until we have a free place in one of our more… usual foster- families- who's been dealing with this before." I nod, but I already feel a strange- undeniable connection to the child upstairs- and hope that this permanent solution will not be here too soon.

"Her silence makes it impossible to do most of our tests." Ellie continues. "But we know she went to school before she was kidnapped, she have not been to a school during the last three years though. Not as we can tell at least… and… well… we managed to get her to change clothes, we tried to get her to shower as well but she refused and we eventually gave up… her only belongings are the clothes she's wearing now." I bite my lip- what on earth has happened to this girl, where has she been and what is the reason for her to act like she's doing now? A part of me want the answer- but a big part doesn't.

There seem to be a thousand other things to go through, and a hundred more folders before we are done and wave of Ellie- with the promise that she'll call back in some while.

Caitlin POV

I sit on the floor in the room the man claimed to be mine, my back is leaned against the wall, my arms around my legs and my chin resting against my knees. I hear the adults talking downstairs- but I can't hear what they are saying, then I hear steps in the stairs coming up and then a knock on the already slightly open door.

"Hey Caitlin," the couple from downstairs come into the room. I flinch hearing my full name- and again thoughts are spinning in my head- What have I done? Should I know what I have done? Are they going to hurt me?

"Have I done something wrong?" I ask eventually- barely more than a whisper- oh no- now I spoke too quietly again and they are going to get mad because of that- because they can't hear what I'm saying- or did they… "No." The woman answers. "Why would you think that?" I hesitate for a split second, then, in a bit louder voice- but still very quiet I say that no one calls me Caitlin if I haven't done anything bad.

"What do we call you when you haven't done anything bad?" The man asks. I answer him Cai, Cait or Caitie. "Well Cai," he answers." I can promise you that you haven't done anything bad." I nod. "But we were thinking, obviously, we need to buy a new bulb or three for that lamp in your room. Then we need to do some grocery- shopping and we'll need to eat dinner so we were thinking… that we'd leave in an hour or something, eat dinner at McDonald's, then do the shopping. Does that sound good?"

"Yes sir." I answer him, he smiles again. I'm used to the smile that Toby has- a smirk that never gets as far as to his eyes. But when this man smiles at me- it's a whole other kind of smile- and it gets all the way to his eyes- I shake the thoughts of me- I can't trust him just by the look of a smile- I can't trust anyone but myself. "Please just call me Burt." I hear him say. So that's his name- phew- okay now I only have to find out a way of how to find out the woman's name- I'd probably be in trouble if they knew that I hadn't been able to remember their names after Ellie told me yesterday.

One hour and a half later we leave the house, I'm sat in the back- seat of the car, but I don't complain- I can't complain, as I pull myself up towards the inside of the door as possible. I can see that both Burt and his wife- I haven't been able to figure out her name yet- are looking at me in the rearview mirror. Why are they doing that? Are they making sure that I'm not causing any trouble? That I'm still there for them doing something bad? It feels like hours before Burt pull up and parks in a parking lot in front of a supermarket with McDonald's by it.

The food tastes alright, but just chewing on a French fry, a memory of the taste pops up in my head.

Flashback

I'm nine years old and in third grade, there is a McDonald's right near by the school, we're actually not allowed to eat there on school- days, but I managed to buy myself a meal anyway, as I sit down on the benches behind the gym and unwrap the paper to eat the burger, and put a French fry in my mouth, right then two of the boys from the Junior high nearby comes walking. I know them- their names are Ryan and Michael Scott- they're twins- but identical- and they just won't leave me alone.

"Ey Caitlin." Michael shouted. "Breaking the rules are we?"

"Get lost." I fizzled.

"Nah Romero, we're not leaving." Ryan held his hand out. "Come on… you know you're breaking the rules-give it to us." I just glared at him, and kept on chewing on my French fries, Michael hit it out of my lap, and all the food landed on the asphalt down below, without thinking any further, I kick Michael as hard as I can in the first place I could reach- I just happen to knee him right in the groin, then he falls, and first shouting- then moaning swearing words. Ryan takes a grip of my shirt, but let go- and they both run for their lives when we hear a teacher- I meant to do so too, but Ryan pushed me to the ground, and when I'm up on my feet- she's already seen me- and I'm sent to the principal- for a McDonald's meal- well- that's how things work out when the teachers hate you.

I never had the chance to explain- but if I had had it- I'm not sure I had told them that that McDonald's meal was my first real meal in three days- and that I wouldn't eat in the school cafeteria- because there people would throw their food at me- put their legs out so I'd trip- and then laugh when I stand up- with food all over my shirt.

End of flashback

"Cai? Cai?... Caitlin?" The voices of Burt and his wife wakes me up from my thoughts, and I'm brought back to reality- with a half- eaten McDonald's meal in front of me. "What are you thinking about? You looked to be so far away!" The woman says, I just shrug and then keep on eating.

The shopping is thankfully done without any further dramas- but not with much else either, Burt or his wife hold up something they think I like, ask me about it, I shrug, and they decide either to put it back in the shelf or buy it.

No, the drama begin on the way home, when I as usual feel my stomach lurch with the movement of the car- this always happen- but most of the time I haven't eaten anything before I got in the car- so isn't the case today- and I feel more and more nauseous. I try to decide whether I should tell it to the two in the front or not- I would like to- to get out of the car- and get some fresh air- keep still for a moment and I'd feel better. But I can't… they probably want to come home as soon as possible- I can manage not to vomit until then… can I? I press my forehead against the cool window, in an attempt to… well… feel better. But it doesn't help much- and Burt and his wife are starting to notice something isn't right.

"You okay kiddo?" Burt ask, I nod, but they both know I'm lying. "Want me to pull over?" I shrug, then shake my head. "Are you sure?" I hear a female voice. I haven't even had the time to answer before there's a sharp turn in the road- and the sudden tossing causes me to be sick all over myself- and the car- floor.

I am only vaguely aware of the others reactions, I want to say I'm sorry but I don't dare to open my mouth again, as Burt pulls over to the side of the road, and he's barely had the time to stop before I've opened the door and more fall than step outside, I fall to my knees, still gagging.

"I'm sorry mister." I manage to croak when the gagging finally is over. "I'm sorry… I'll clean it."

"Hush sweetie." I hear Burt's wife's voice. "Never apologize for being sick." I use the sleeve of the hoodie I'm wearing to stroke away a couple of tears slowly rolling down my cheeks. I can't show them I'm crying, they're gonna be even more mad at me if they see it.

"I'm sorry madam. I'm really s- sorry." For the first time, I look up and meet the woman's eyes. They're green- and kind- so like her husband's. I shake the thought of- can't trust her, can't trust him- can't trust anyone.

Carole POV

"Here you go." Burt hands Cai a bottle of cola- it will do to wash her mouth- and calm her stomach down. Cai struggles with the lock, and I lift my hands. "Want some help?" Cai reaches me the bottle- I open it and hand it back to her. "Are you feeling better?" She nods- barely noticeable. "Would you like to sit in the front? Then you can watch the road and that'll probably help you." She shrugs. Then she looks back to the car, where Burt is doing his best to clean the floor.

"It's in the back- seat the bad things happen." Cai says shyly. But she says it in a voice of someone who's not really knowing she's actually saying something. Bad things? What bad things? Did someone… I can't even think of it… what is it? What terrible things have this little girl seen- and even worse- been through to be where she is today.

"Come on." I lead her around the car and hold the door to the passenger side of the car open. The thoughts- the questions are spinning in my head. But I know we can't ask. We can't press her to tell us anything. We will have to wait.

When we're home, I climb up to the attic- find some of old Kurt's old clothes for Cai to wear- I ask her if she wants to shower, but she just shakes her head- and I know I shouldn't press her to do anything. So I just hand her the clothes, and start to put the groceries in the fridge.

Cai comes out from the bathroom again- I take the clothes to the basement to put them in the laundry. When I come up to the living room again, Cai sits in one of the sofas- looking out the window. The neighbor's twin girls- Molly and Maya are playing in the garden. And Cai looks at them with a slight longingly gaze in her eyes.

She stays like that- doesn't react or respond to everything, she just looks out the window. The twins' parents come out and play with them. Cai looks even more longingly- but that gaze is gone as soon as it came.

Cai also stays like that when there's nothing really to look at- when there's dark outside- Burt goes to bed just before midnight- but I don't want Cai to be up all alone, at last- by three in the morning, she falls asleep curled up in a ball in the corner of the sofa. I don't want to carry her to the bed- it would only wake her up and scare her, so I get the pillow and covers from the bed upstairs, tuck the quilt around the bony figure of a girl, and lift her head to place the pillow under it.

I and Burt agreed on the fact that she'd come to me with my job- I've got colleagues who knows more about fostering children and other things that Cai's been through- whatever it is, than what I and Burt do. It will be alright, we'll manage- tomorrow I will also take her out to get some more proper clothes- Do everything that I would have done with any child.

But Cai isn't any child, I know already now that Cai's got darker and deeper secrets than any of us can ever imagine.