Suga awoke to a gentle knock on the door. He yawned as he got off the couch, a small pain running across his face.
'Oh right.' He thought, remembering the events of the morning. He stretched his arms as he walked to the door, opening it to a large but familiar figure. Asahi stood in the doorway, a worried look in his eyes. When he saw Suga, the worried look lifted a bit, only to come back as soon as he noticed Suga's nose. Suga frowned, imagining the ugly purple color his nose was. He stepped back and pulled the door with him, ushering Asahi inside. He hesitated, but entered anyway.
"I promise it doesn't hurt as bad as it looks." Suga said, he may as well get this out of the way.
"It's broken." Asahi stated, staring at Suga. Suga sighed, he figured his little lie would only last so long.
"So everyone knows then." He said, plopping down on the couch. Asahi continue to stand, nodding at Suga. "I figured."
"Why did you lie?" Asahi asked, a hint of pain in his voice.
"Honestly, I don't know." Suga answered. He had known Asahi too long and knew that it would be better to be truthful. It's not that Asahi was good at detecting lies, it was more of Suga couldn't lie to a giant teddy bear.
"Why didn't you go to the hospital?" He followed up.
'Oh, so that was mentioned too, huh?' Suga thought.
"They were just going to tell me what I already knew, besides, I'm not really a fan of hospitals." He shrugged. Asahi just stared, obvious that there was so much more he wanted to ask, yet he didn't. Instead, he moved to sit next to Suga, turning his attention to whatever show was currently on TV. After a while of silence between the two, Asahi spoke up.
"Everyone's worried. Daichi was going to ditch practice to come, but I was able to convince him to stay. I don't know how much they're actually practicing though." He said, not looking for a response.
Suga sighed, leaning his head back to stare at the ceiling. Why do they care? Why is it his fault they weren't practicing? It's not like he did much at practice anyway. No, that wasn't true, he did more at practice than anybody else. He did what was asked of him, a toss here, a pass there, nothing that anyone else couldn't do.
'I'm replaceable.' He thought, closing his eyes.
He wasn't sure how long he had been asleep. His nose was throbbing, so Suga got up and headed to the kitchen for some water and pain meds. As he approached the door to the kitchen, he heard Asahi's voice.
"Yeah, it's me." Asahi said. Suga figured he was on the phone, so he turns to head back to the living room, not wanted to disturb him.
"I'm here but, I don't know Daichi, something about what Kageyama and Hinata said is really bothering me." Suga froze. He wasn't one for listening in to other people's private conversations, but this was about him. Suga slowly walked over to the doorway, leaning against the wall next to it.
"He's here but I don't feel like he's actually here, if that makes any sense." Asahi muttered onto the phone. What did he mean by that? Sure, Suga had noticed he had been acting weird today, but that didn't mean he was gone.
"No, he was trying to shrug it off, but he was awfully quiet." Suga had to hand it to him, Asahi was more aware than Suga had ever given him credit for.
"He's been asleep for about two hours. His nose looks terrible Daichi... I don't care what he says, there is no way he's not in pain." At this point, Suga was tired of listening. Asahi was right, his nose hurt like hell, but he didn't want others to know that. He loudly stumbled into the kitchen, making sure that Asahi knew he was there.
"I have to go, I'll call back in a bit." Asahi said before he ended the call. He turned and looked at Suga. "How are you? You slept for quite a while."
"Fine." He replied bitterly. He saw Asahi flinch at his tone. Suga felt a little bad for snapping at him, but with everything that had happened today he was at the end of his rope. He walked over to the sink and filled a glass with water, swallowing his pain killers.
"Are you sure you don't need to go to the hospital?" Asahi asked hesitantly, as if afraid to get snapped at again. Suga softened a bit before answering.
"It hurts, but only so much can be done. Noses suck." Suga said, attempting to lift the mood. Asahi let out a light chuckle before looking at Suga with serious eyes.
"I'll take care of myself, I promise. Now go home, I know you have homework you need to get done." Suga scolded. Asahi nodded and headed to the door, Suga following him.
"We're here if you ever need anything, Daichi and I. I'm sure the rest of the team too." Asahi said, the doorknob in his hand. Suga nodded, and with that, Asahi left.
Suga stood still for a moment, staring at the door. Why was he feeling so rebellious? He knew that his team was only looking out for him, so why did it make him so angry? Sure, if it wasn't for his teammates he wouldn't be in this position right now, but Suga didn't believe that was what was bothering him. He shook his head and waltzed back to the couch, flopping down with a soft thud.
It suddenly hit him. He was tired. He was tired of being the backup. He was tired of being the one who helped others grow but never grew himself. He was tired of being Mr. Refreshing, tired of being responsible for everyone else. He was tired, he finally understood that much. He had been fighting for so long for others that he forgot to fight for himself. Suga pulled the blankets over him and turned the TV down. He needed to get away for a while, and sleep seemed like the best option.
It had been a week since they had beaten Shiratorizawa, and in that last week Suga began to crumble. He didn't notice at first, all that he noticed was that he was in his head more and more. Though an outsider may think that this change was due to the volleyball win, Suga knew they were unrelated. What bothered him wasn't what happened during the game, but what happened after it.
To be honest, Suga wasn't sure why it bothered him in the first place. The normal response would have been to feel happy for his best friend, yet all Suga felt was betrayed. It had been obvious to Suga ever since he started at Karasuno that Michimiya had a huge crush on Daichi, yet he never thought much of it. Until, that is, after they won and Daichi kissed her. It was all Suga could think about, Daichi walked up to her holding the Win charm in his hand. That brief moment when time stopped as they looked into each other's eyes and leaned in. Suga wasn't sure if time stopped for them, but it definitely stopped for him. His team whooping and cheering for Daichi after the two of them had broken apart, their faces completely red. Suga hated it. He hated how he felt during that moment. It kept replaying in his head, and no matter what he did he couldn't stop it.
This is what started his downfall.
After they returned to school, Suga began to see Daichi less and less. They still walked home together after practice and had lunch together, but it was no longer just them. Michimiya joined the third year volleyball players for lunch and waited until practice was over to walk home with them. It annoyed Suga. In all his years of knowing Daichi, he never had to share him. He was sure these feelings of jealousy were just because he had to share Daichi, nothing else. He wasn't sure why he had to keep telling himself that, but he did it anyway. He was feeling this way because he no longer had Daichi to himself.
With Daichi preoccupied, Suga truly realized how lonely he was. He noticed how practices were always about helping everyone else, never him. He noticed how he wasn't just a backup setter, but a backup player. If Kageyama and Hinata were working on their quick, then the other spikers would ask Suga to set for them. If Kageyama was working with the spikers, the receivers would ask him to serve, and so on. Nobody ever asked Suga what he wanted.
It made Suga angry when Hinata broke his nose. It just confirmed to him how overlooked he was. Why did it take a broken nose for him to be noticed? He put everything he had into volleyball and school, so why didn't anyone ever notice that?
All of these thoughts and realizations were buried deep in Suga's sleeping mind.
Suga awoke to his phone softly vibrating on the small table next to the couch. Without opening his eyes, Suga blindly moved his hand until he found it.
"Hello," he answered, not bothering to read the caller ID.
"Koushi, why did you skip school?" A stern voice said. Suga bolted up, his eyes wide.
"I got set home Okaasan, I didn't skip." Suga answered defensively. Of course his mother would only call if he didn't go to school, she wouldn't care if he was hurt or anything.
"This better have nothing to do with that silly club of yours." She answered bitterly.
"It doesn't matter. I'll be back tomorrow and I'll make up for what I missed." He responded strongly. His parents always thought volleyball was a waste of time, they were more concerned about grades than anything else.
"Koushi." She warned.
"I got hurt at practice this morning. I won't let it affect my grades." He said.
"It better not. You know how your father and I feel about your club activities." With that, she hung up.
Suga sighed, tossing his phone back on the table. It was 8, somehow Suga had managed to sleep most of the day, despite all of the events of the morning. He pushed himself off the couch and wandered to the bathroom. He flicked on the lights and turned the sink on, waiting a moment before looking up at his reflection. He didn't look any better from this morning, the whole center of his face a gross purple color. His nose was still slightly crooked to the right. Suga opened the cabinet behind him and pulled out a small washcloth. He folded it a few times and put it into his mouth. He bit down as he brought his hands up to his nose.
A muffled scream came out of his mouth as he pushed his nose back in place. He felt a small stream of blood trickle down his face, mixing in with the tears he didn't know he was shedding. He pulled the washcloth out of his mouth and put it against his nose, soaking up the fresh blood.
'This fucking hurts.' He thought as he went to sit down. He wasn't sure how much he was going to bleed, but he didn't want to get dizzy again. Once the bleeding stopped, Suga realized that he hadn't eaten at all today. He tossed the cloth in the laundry and walked to the kitchen, heating up some leftover curry. Trying to avoid the depths of his mind, Suga focused on his nose while he ate.
'Do I need to cover this with something tomorrow? I don't want people to ask about it, but no matter what I do I'll still get questions.' In the end, he decided it didn't matter. Once his nose healed nobody was going to notice him anyway. He sighed as he cleaned up. Although he had slept all day, Suga decided he would go to bed, he didn't want to be reminded of how lonely he was every 5 minutes. He walked to his room and collapsed onto his bed, pleading that sleep would come quickly.
It did.
