"Thanks for picking me up Mer."

"Your welcome Beth. " Meredith said as she and Beth stepped out of the car. Meredith turned as she saw a car pull in the driveway. "Beth go inside and grab a snack."

Ellis stepped out of the car and made her way towards Meredith before she grabbed Meredith's arm. "Meredith it's time to go home."

Meredith pulled her arm free. "I am not going anywhere with you." She then turned back to Beth whose eyes were wide. "Beth please go inside."

Beth saw the look on Meredith and the stranger's faces and she didn't feel right about leaving her. "Mer are you sure? I can call daddy or Derek."

"No don't bother them. I'll be fine just go get a snack." She watched as Beth walked into the house and then turned back to her mother. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to take you home."

"I'm not going anywhere with you."

"I'm your mother and I've had enough of your games Meredith. Ray is…"

Meredith cut her off. "Don't say his name. I don't ever want to hear his name again."

Ellis raised her voice to match Meredith's. "You ungrateful child. Ray has been your father for the last 7 years. He has loved you like his own even after what you did."

Meredith heard the door open behind her but didn't bother to turn and see who was there. She was fuming and wanted nothing more than for Ellis to leave but not without having her say. "What I did? What did I do?"

"It's because of you we lost our son, we lost Jason. You should be grateful we didn't throw you out when your grandmother died no instead we let you back into our house to be reminded everyday about what you did. It should have been you not Jason that died."

Meredith held Ellis's eyes. "You think I don't know that? I wish every day that it had been me, I relive that night every night. I think about what it would have been like if I had just let Finn do what he wanted then Jason would have never fought with him and we would have stayed at the party. You know I…" Meredith trailed off.

"You what Meredith, what could you possibly have to say for yourself? You let yourself get addicted to drugs and yet you are still here and Jason is not, so what do you have to say for yourself?"

"I went to him for the pills when my prescription ran out. I threw myself at him for more drugs and I couldn't go through with it and you know why mom? It was because I heard Jason's voice telling me it wasn't right telling me that it should be about love and not the drugs. Did you hear me mom it was Jason's voice not yours. I wanted him to have sex with me just so I could get more pills. I wanted to be numb so I didn't have to feel the pain every day."

"You are weak Meredith. You couldn't stand on your own so you let others influence you and then you drag everyone down with you just like you did our son."

"You are right, I am weak and I know I'm a disappointment to you. I wish it had been me if there was one thing I could change it would be me in the ground and not him but I can't change it. I have tried everything to get you to love me. I get A's in all my classes and I'm going to go be a surgeon…"

"You will never be a surgeon Meredith, you couldn't handle it."

Meredith ignored her response. "Do you love me?" Ellis just starred at her. "Do you even love me?" Again there was silence. "Why did you even have me if you don't love me? Why didn't you have an abortion?"

"Because Richard told me he is against abortion."

"You said Thatcher is my father."

"He is."

"Who is Richard?" There was silence and Meredith thought back to the years before Ray and Jason and then she remembered who Richard was. "He's why dad left isn't he? Why didn't you let dad take me? Why would you keep me if you didn't even want me?"

"Because your father didn't want you either." Ellis said without hesitation.

Meredith took a step back. "But I'm your daughter, your flesh and blood."

"You are my responsibility and I intend to finish taking care of my responsibility. Now get your things and let's go." Ellis again grabbed her arm.

Meredith pulled her arm free again. "No, I will not go to where I am not wanted. I am not your responsibility anymore. You have Ray leave me alone."

"I will not leave you alone. Because of you Jason is not here and you are not just going to walk out of our lives."

"I was never in your lives mother. If it wasn't for Jason…"

Ellis slapped her across the face. "Don't speak his name ever again. He never should have tried to bring you home that night. He was naive and should have known who you really are. I tried to tell him but he never listened…"

"He was the only one who loved me. He told me I mattered. He told me I was good enough and believed that I was going to be a great surgeon. He believed in me. He told me I was strong and was a good person, he told me I was beautiful inside and out and that someday the right man was going to feel that way about me and I should let him and not run away because I was scared of letting someone else in. He knew me mother. He only knew me for 7 years but he knew me better than you ever did. I'm sorry you can't love me, and I'm even more sorry that it's because of me that he isn't here now." Meredith finished with tears falling down her face.

"Oh now you're crying. You are so weak. Let's go, enough of this nonsense Meredith we are leaving. You are not going to bring these fine people down with you like you did Jason."

Dr. Shepherd had started towards the two as soon as he saw Ellis slap Meredith and was now standing next to her facing Ellis. "Ellis, I think it's time for you to leave."

"I'm sorry Dr. Shepherd. I will take my daughter now. I am so sorry she has intruded on you and your family. The girl is so hopeless and such a mess…"

"Dr. Grey."

Meredith looked up to Dr. Shepherd upon hearing his voice. She saw the pity in his eyes and then swung around to see Mrs. Shepherd, Derek, and all four of his sisters standing behind her with the same looks in their eyes. She was embarrassed and hurt by what her mother said and angry that she had let the entire Shepherd family hear everything. She was angry that she had dragged them into her family mess and knew she had to fix it because no matter how much she didn't want to be with Ellis or Ray they were her family and she wasn't going to drag the Shepherds down with her. She turned back around and squeezed Mr. Shepherd's arm. "She's right. I'm sorry mother; I'll be right back with my things. Mr. Shepherd thank-you for your kindness." Meredith turned around.

Mr. Shepherd stopped her. "Meredith, you are not going anywhere."

She turned back around to face him. "You have been so kind and your family is amazing. I need to go back to my fa…fam…house." Meredith couldn't call them her family but she continued. "I don't want to hurt anyone so I will go back to my house. Thank-you really for your help." This time she ran away to gather her things.

Mr. Shepherd watched her leave. His eyes locked with his wife. "Cindy." He waited until his children were in the house and then he turned to Ellis and had his say.

Cindy nodded and turned to her children. "Go inside everyone." She saw Derek hadn't moved. "Derek, I'll take care of Meredith go help your sisters with dinner please."

Derek nodded and entered the house. Cindy went up the stairs to what had soon become Meredith's room and saw Meredith putting things in her bag. She stepped up to Meredith and placed her hand on her arm. "Meredith."

Meredith stopped and turned to Mrs. Shepherd. She quickly wiped her tears and put a smile on her face. "I'm almost done, I'm sorry I'll be out in a few minutes."

Mrs. Shepherd grabbed Meredith's hands to stop her. "Meredith come sit with me please." She led her to the bed and they sat. "Meredith, you are not going anywhere. We want you to stay with us."

"I appreciate that Mrs. Shepherd but I can't. My mother, she's right. I need to go back."

"You are not going back to that house with that woman and certainly not with that man still there."

Meredith was taken back by her anger. "I'll be fine. I only have 2 more years left and then I will go to college so…"

Mrs. Shepherd cut her off. "Meredith, you are a very strong women but you are not going back to that house even if I have to tie you up. What your mother said, she was wrong."

"No she's right. I'm the reason Jason died. I wish it had been me Mrs. Shepherd why doesn't she know how much I wish it had been me?" Meredith finished with tears rolling down her face.

Mrs. Shepherd pulled her into her arms and gently rocked her. "Sshh Meredith please don't say that. You are here for a reason. What happened was an accident it wasn't your fault or Jason's fault."

"He was loved by so many people. He should still be here not me."

"He was loved Meredith and you won't ever forget him but Meredith you are loved too and you deserve to be here."

"No, she's right I'm helpless and I won't ever be a surgeon. I'm damaged, no one can love me."

Mrs. Shepherd took Meredith's face in her hands and looked her right in the eyes. "You are a great person Meredith Grey. You are strong, independent, smart, stubborn, and caring. Since school started and you have been around us I have gotten to know you and the last 2 months that you have been with us regularly has just confirmed what I suspected of you. Derek has changed since he has known you and Beth adores you as much as she does her sisters. You deserve to be here and Jason would want you to be happy."

Meredith was at a loss for words. "I…thank-you Mrs. Shepherd but, she's my mother I'm not your responsibility and I won't be a burden to you and your family."

"No there is no but. You are not a burden. You help out around the house when you are asked and this room has never been cleaner. You are going to stay with us and that is final. I will talk to your mother tomorrow and…"

Before she could finish Mr. Shepherd cut her off as he came into the room and took a seat next to Meredith. "That won't be necessary. I spoke to her already and she is aware that you will be staying with us Meredith."

Meredith hung her head. "I'm sorry."

Mr. Shepherd shared a look with his wife and then looked back at Meredith. He put his hand under her chin and slowly raised her head so she was looking at him. "You have nothing to be sorry for or ashamed of Meredith. Cindy is right. You are going to stay with us. Dr. Grey is a great surgeon however I can't say the same about her parenting skills." Mr. Shepherd paused as he saw the smile on Meredith's face. "You can stay here for now. Cindy and I will talk more and when we figure everything out we will talk to you and your mother. I don't want you worrying about it any longer."

Meredith nodded. "Thank-you Mr. Shepherd. Thank-you very much." Meredith then gave him a hug.

Mr. Shepherd welcomed the hug and over her shoulder he saw his wife. He gave her a smile which she returned. "You're welcome Meredith." She pulled back. "Now let's go see what the other five have done to our kitchen shall we?"

Meredith giggled. "Well with Derek in there you probably should be a little worried."

Mr. and Mrs. Shepherd smiled back at her. They all stood and headed to the door. "I haven't given Derek as many lessons as the girls so you might be right Meredith. We better get in there."

They had made it to the door and the three of them entered all laughing.

GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA

Meredith had just pulled into the driveway after a long tutoring session. The first thing she noticed was how dark the house looked before she noticed that both Cindy's and Derek's cars were in the driveway. She excited her car and grabbed her bags as she made her way to the kitchen door. When she opened the door she turned on the light just like always. "Derek, Beth, Cindy. Is anyone home?" Meredith yelled as she walked into the kitchen and she put her bag on the table. After pulling out some of her books she decided to get a drink so she turned to walk to the sink however after taking a couple steps she came around the counter and froze.

On the counter there were some vegetables that were partially cut and a knife that was lying with them. Next to that was blood which had run down the counter and made a circle on the floor. This is what had Meredith's attention.

After a few minutes of not moving Meredith quickly went to the sink and started some water. She cleaned up the vegetables and started cleaning up the blood. Once she was done she picked up her books before heading upstairs to shower and get ready for bed.

"We should have called Mer." Derek said as they pulled into the driveway.

"I didn't think it would take as long as it did. I guess I should have known how long of a wait we would have had." Cindy replied as she got out of the car.

Beth spoke as she got out of the car. "I'm sure Mer is just fine Derek it's not like she is a little kid."

"I'll clean up while you get the plates for dinner Beth."

"You don't have to Derek. I'll clean up the mess I made."

"Cindy, you can't get wet. Let Derek and Beth take care of everything tonight. It's okay to take one night off."

"I feel so foolish. I haven't cut myself like that since I was 13 and my mom was first teaching me how to cook."

"I'm sorry I distracted you mom. I was just so excited about the new movie and I wanted to tell you."

"It's okay sweetheart it wasn't your fault." Cindy said as she entered the kitchen while Michael was holding the door for her. She turned on the lights and immediately noticed the counter. "It's cleaned up."

Michael closed the door and took his jacket off before going over to her. "Meredith must have cleaned it up when she got home. Beth why don't you go let her know we have supper."

Derek started getting plates for the take out dinner they had brought home while Beth left the kitchen.

Minutes later Beth came in with Meredith right behind her.

"Thank-you Meredith for cleaning up my mess. You really did not need to do that."

Meredith saw the bandage on Cindy's hand and immediately went to her. She grabbed Cindy's hand and started inspecting it. "Are you alright? What happened? Was it an accident? Why didn't anyone call me?"

Cindy looked to Michael as Meredith was rattling off questions and Michael stepped forward. "Meredith it's okay." He went on to tell her what happened and then the four of them sat down for dinner. After dinner they spent a little time watching TV before everyone headed to bed.

"Just sit here and don't move Meredith."

"Why mommy?"

"Because I said so. No matter what you do not move understand?"

"I understand mommy."

"Good. I want you to be extrodinary. Do you understand? In your life you need to grow up and be extraordinary."

"Ok mommy, I'll be extro…extrod…I will mommy." Meredith replied as she watched her mother with a scalpel and in seconds she saw blood. Meredith's eyes grew wide as she saw the red liquid flow. "Mommy. Mommy I'm going to call 911." Meredith yelled as she started to get up.

Ellis stopped her. "No. No Meredith just stay with me. Promise me you will be extraordinary. Just promise me."

Meredith sat back down and watched as her mother slowly drifted out of conciseness.

Meredith sat up in bed breathing heavily. She looked around and realized where she was. After getting her breathing back under control she got out of bed and went downstairs to the kitchen. She quickly turned on the lights and went to the sink where she proceeded to get water before getting down on her hands and knees. Once on the floor she started scrubbing.

Michael moved to get out of bed when he heard Cindy. "Are you going down for some tea?"

"Yes."

"I'll come with you."

Michael nodded. "Do you feel okay?"

"I'm fine Michael I just feel like having some tea with my husband if that is okay."

Michael smiled as he waited for Cindy to join him at the door. They then started down the hall and before long noticed there was a light on in the kitchen.

"I wonder who left the light on."

"Oh well, I'll start the tea Michael while you grab the glasses." Cindy said as she took a few steps around the counter before pausing.

"Cindy are you okay?" Michael asked as he came up behind her however he saw what she was looking at and also paused.

There on the floor they saw Meredith scrubbing the floor. Her head was down so they could not see her face however they could see her shoulders shaking so they knew she was crying.

Cindy looked to her husband and silently told him she would take care of Meredith. Michael nodded his understanding and took a small step back. Cindy stepped closer to Meredith and knelt in front of her.

"Meredith."

Meredith continued scrubbing and Cindy repositioned herself so that she was more comfortable and she tried again. "Meredith dear."

Again there was no change so she tried again and this time as she spoke she reached her hands out to stop Meredith's motions. "Meredith stop please."

Meredith felt hands on her and stopped her movements but did not speak.

"Meredith what are you doing?"

"I'm cleaning the blood. It needs to be clean by the time she gets home."

"Before who gets home?"

"My mom. She will be released from the hospital soon. She left a message and I know she is going to be mad because I called 911 so I need to make sure it is all cleaned up." When she finished she went back to scrubbing.

Cindy looked to her husband. Who stepped forward and also knelt down next to Cindy. He reached forward and grabbed Meredith's hands like his wife had done before to stop her movements. "Meredith please stop this."

On hearing his strong voice Meredith looked up at the Shepherds. Cindy and Michael saw her tear streaked face. Cindy reached up to wipe some tears. "Meredith what is this about?"

Meredith didn't speak at first but after a minute she decided to answer. "I just have to clean up the blood."

"Dear you cleaned it all up earlier. There is nothing left to clean up."

"It stains. The blood it stains. I tried to get it all out but we'll need to replace the floors."

"Meredith please look. Look at the floor, there is no stain." Cindy said.

Michael on the other hand decided to listen to what Meredith was saying instead of getting her to change her mind. "Meredith how do you know we'll need to replace the floors?"

"It's what we had to do when…"

"When what Meredith?"

Meredith looked down at her hands which were being held by both Michael and Cindy. "It was when my mom cut her writs."

Cindy decided to ask the next question, "What do you mean Meredith?"

On hearing the question Meredith continued looking at her hands as she felt both of them being squeezed just a little bit and she went on to tell the story of what had happened.

Once she was finished she was crying and Cindy leaned forward and gently pulled Meredith into her arms and gently rocked her. "Sshh it's okay Meredith."

She soon finished crying and pulled back from Cindy. "I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for. How would you like some warm milk?"

"I've never had it before."

Michael helped Cindy and Meredith stand after standing himself and he led them to the table. "It will help you sleep." Michael said as he went to the fridge.

Cindy sat with Meredith talking softly as Michael prepared the tea and milk. Once they all had had their drinks Meredith headed up to bed. Cindy and Michael cleaned up the dishes before they also went up to bed. Once they were in bed Michael turned over to hold Cindy and found tears running down her cheeks. "Cindy?"

"She's been through so much Michael. She was only five. What kind of mother does that to a five year old? And she let her husband hurt her."

"I know Cindy but its okay, she's with us now and we will make sure that she doesn't go through anything like that again."

"Thank-you Michael."

"What are you thanking me for?"

"For doing the right thing."

"Oh you know I have a soft spot for kids you let into the house. Look what happened with Mark."

Cindy chuckled a little. "You love that boy just like he was your own and you know it. Plus he's been good for Derek."

"I suppose you are right. Meredith has been good for all of us. Besides, we have enough love to share and Meredith needs it. I hate that she doesn't realize what a special young lady she is. I see what good this family has been for Mark and I want to do the same for her, not out of pity but because she deserves it."

"I love you."

"I love you too. Goodnight Cindy."

"Goodnight Michael."

GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA

Meredith spent the next three weeks working and spending time at the library. She told the Shepherds she was studying and she made sure she wasn't a bother to them. They didn't seem to mind since they never heard any differently. Friday night came and that Friday was a quiet night. The entire family was home since Mr. Shepherd had the night off. After dinner the family made their way into the living room to watch TV and catch up on reading. Meredith had excused herself to her room and came back down about 20 minutes later. She made her way into the living room and over to Mrs. Shepherd. She kneeled down next to her and cleared her throat nervously. "Mrs. Shepherd, can I talk to you for a few minutes?"

Mrs. Shepherd had noticed that Meredith had been different through dinner and as she looked into her eyes she could tell Meredith was nervous. "Of course dear, what is it?"

Meredith looked around the room and saw everyone else looking at her. "Can we go to my room?"

"Of course." She stood and turned back to the others in the room as Meredith started for the stairs. "I'll be back in a few minutes." She gave her husband a kiss and followed Meredith.

They made their way up to Meredith's room and when they stepped in Mrs. Shepherd took a seat on the bed while Meredith went to her desk. She grabbed something from the top and went to sit next to Mrs. Shepherd before handing her a folder. "I…" On the top of the folder was a check that Mrs. Shepherd picked up.

"What's this?" Mrs. Shepherd asked as she looked from the check to Meredith.

"It's…I wanted to retain your services." She watched as Mrs. Shepherd just looked at her. With her silence she continued and pointed to the folder. "I've done all the research but I need your help with filing the paperwork. I know it's not a lot of money and I will continue to pay you when I get paid."

"You got a job?"

"I've been tutoring and babysitting when I can, I was going to go to the mall and see if I can find anything next week that I can do during school. I am supposed to get a trust fund from my aunt when I turn 21 but I thought maybe there is a way to get it before then if you could help me."

Mrs. Shepherd had been looking through the folder of papers. She looked back up to Meredith. "Meredith?"

"She doesn't love me, you heard her. I've been on my own for years anyway, and I want to make it official. Mrs. Shepherd please help me. I know I have no right to ask but other lawyers want the money up front and I can't afford to pay it all now so I was hoping I could pay you gradually. I'll pay you every penny I promise." Meredith grabbed a paper from the folder and put it on top. "Here is my payment plan. If I can get a job at the mall I can pay you back faster but I didn't want to count on that but here is what I can pay you monthly for right now."

"What brought this on now Meredith?"

Meredith stood and started pacing. "It's not sudden. I talked to Jason about it a few years ago before…he always talked me out of it thinking Ray would come around and he was so sure if Ray came around then Ellis would accept me. I always laughed at his choice of words. I mean why should a mother have to accept her own daughter? He was so sure we could be a fa…family that I dropped it. After Jason died I knew…I didn't what to admit it but I knew we could never be what Jason wanted. I've done a lot of things I'm not proud of and if there was any way to get Jason back I would."

"I know you would honey and I am so sorry that you have to be dealing with this. But why this?"

"I need to be free. I need to be out on my own. She makes me feel…she makes me feel like I am nothing. I am in her shadow and I can't breathe, I just can't live here anymore. The last few weeks that I have been with you and your wonderful family have shown me what I have been missing. I know I won't have what you all have but I need a fresh start. This can be my fresh start. I've done all the research and I think I have all the paperwork filled out but I need you to check it and then file it and be with me in court. I can redo anything I need to. Under the circumstances I wanted to see about accessing my trust fund early and I couldn't find any information on that so I was also hoping you could help with that. If I can get to that money I can pay you back right away and then I can get an apartment."

"Why do you need an apartment, you have a room here?"

Meredith sat back down wanting to look Mrs. Shepherd in the eyes so she knew how much she appreciated what she had done for her. "My mom isn't right about a lot of things but she was right about me hurting your family. I need to be on my own. I'm taking Nancy's room and eating your food. I am using your water and your electricity and not paying for it. I can't keep doing that and I don't want Beth or the others…I just…its better if I'm not around you all. You need to go back to being your family." Meredith paused but Mrs. Shepherd didn't say a word. "Mrs. Shepherd, please say you will help me I don't have the money for anyone else and I know I don't for you either but I promise I will pay you back I know you don't have any reason to trust me but I promise." Still there was no response and Meredith's phone went off. She walked over and grabbed it. When she looked at the id she knew she had to leave. She turned back to Mrs. Shepherd. "I have to go, I'm babysitting tonight. I'm sorry I bothered you with this Mrs. Shepherd please just forget about it. I'll find someone else or…something." Meredith gently pulled the folder she had from Mrs. Shepherd and placed it back on the desk before practically running out of the room and down the stairs to her car.

Mrs. Shepherd heard the door close and looked up to an empty room. She shook her head and realized what Meredith had last said. She quickly got up and grabbed the folder before running after her. "Meredith wait…Meredith…Meredith please wait!" She yelled after her as she saw the car pull away. She saw the tears streaming down Meredith's face as she watched the car pull away.

"Mom?"

Mrs. Shepherd turned around and saw her husband and son with concerned looks on their faces standing at the door. She walked to them and let her husband pull her into a hug still holding the folder.

Derek saw the tears falling from his mothers face and was starting to feel uneasy about what might have happened to cause his mother to cry and Meredith to drive away. "Mom what happened?"

Mrs. Shepherd looked over her husband's shoulder and saw Derek. She then saw her daughters all standing behind them with the same questioning stares as Derek. She pulled back from her husband. "Let's go back to the living room."

Everyone made their way back into the living room and all took their seats. Mr. Shepherd sat next to his wife and held her hand. "Cindy, what happened? What did Meredith want and why are you upset?"

"Did anyone know that Meredith has a job?"

There was silence in the room until Beth spoke up. "She has three mom. She is working at the Y, she tutors kids, and she babysits. She only babysits on the weekends and sometimes she tutors then too but she said she prefers to only do that during the week because she doesn't like to think about school on the weekends."

Derek was surprised. He knew he hadn't seen her much lately but he didn't know she was working. "How do you know this and not the rest of us?"

Beth shrugged. "Because I asked her."

"What did you ask her and when?"

"I just asked her why she wasn't around very much because I liked spending time with her and I guess it was about 2 and a half weeks ago when I went to the movies with my friends. She said she needed the money for something important."

Cindy leaned towards her youngest daughter. "Did she tell you what it was she needed the money for?"

"She…we were talking about…she…"

"What is it sweetheart?" Michael asked his daughter this time.

"She told me not to say anything because it was our secret. I told her I wouldn't tell."

"Beth!" Derek raised his voice annoyed that Beth knew something about Meredith that he didn't and annoyed that she wasn't talking.

Michael turned to his son. "Derek that's enough." He then turned back to Beth. "It's ok to tell us Beth we just want to help Meredith so you can tell us."

"Hey Beth get in, your mom sent me today." Meredith watched Beth get in the car and saw she looked upset. "What's the matter Beth?"

"Nothing, I'm fine."

Meredith smiled. "That's my word Beth, how about we go get some ice cream and you can tell me what's wrong."

"OK."

Meredith drove to an ice cream parlor. They each ordered their ice cream and then found a table to talk.

"Alright Beth, what is it?"

"Well theirs this boy…"

"Oh a boy…"

"Meredith."

"Sorry, go ahead."

"Well we've gone to the movies a couple times with our other friends and…we've kissed. I didn't mind the kissing but he started moving his hands around. I was a little uncomfortable with this so I asked him to stop. He stopped but he told me if I loved him it was time to do more than just kiss. Today during the movie he started to touch me and kiss me again. I tried to stop him and then he asked me if I loved him. I told him I cared about him but I wasn't ready to say love yet and then I left. I tried to talk to my friends about it but they all acted like I was crazy for questioning it. I just…I'm wondering if I made a mistake."

Meredith had been listening to her talk and started to panic a little. She had hoped it just had to do with her clothes or something easy but this was defiantly not easy. "Beth you should really talk to your mom or one of your sisters about this."

"Please Mer just tell me am I making a mistake?"

"Beth I'm not the best person to talk about relat….relationships and certainly not sex."

"I know what my mom will say. She will say just what the teachers say…abstinence is the best protection. Mer I'm not wanting the how to speech I want to know more like how do you know it's time to have sex or that it's right?"

Meredith was silent for a moment. She looked at Beth and saw desperation in her eyes so she decided to just tell her what her feelings are. "Beth I'll tell you how I feel but when we get back you need to talk about this with your mom, deal?"

"Deal."

"Ok, I honestly can't tell you when you will know for sure that it is right because I haven't felt the right time yet."

"What?"

"Lower your voice. I'm a virgin. I've kissed a couple boys and there was one that almost went further but…" Meredith sighed hoping for the right words.

Beth noticed the faraway look in her eyes and she also thought she saw hurt. "But what Meredith?"

"But…I will tell you this Beth but I want you to keep it between you and me ok?"

"Why?"

"Because I don't want your parents getting mad at me for talking about this to you." Beth nodded so Meredith continued. "Two years ago I had a boyfriend named Finn. We went to a party that had alcohol. I got drunk and well…he took me to his car and we started to make out. He started to take off my shirt and somehow in my mind I realized what he was doing and that I didn't want to be doing it. I tried to push him away but he was two big. I started to cry when all of the sudden he was pulled off of me. My brother Jason had found me and Jason pulled him off of me. Alex helped me out of the car and I saw Jason had my boyfriend on the ground getting ready to punch him. I pulled away from Alex and went to Finn's side begging Jason to leave him alone. Jason looked at me and decided to take me home so he took me to his car and he started for home. Two blocks from home a drunk driver ran a stop sign and smashed into the driver's side of the car. Jason was killed immediately and I ended up in the hospital." Meredith stopped and had tears in her eyes.

"I'm so sorry Mer."

"I'm telling you this because of what Jason said on the way home. When we left I was crying asking Jason how he could do that to me because I was only thinking about how Finn would probably never talk to me again. Jason grabbed my hand as he pulled to the side of the road and he made me look at him. He told me that if Finn really loved me then I wouldn't have been crying. He also told me the first time is supposed to be special because you can never get it back. When a man loves a women enough to make love to her it's never forced, it's gentle and loving, and not in the back seat of a car. I laughed at him and told him that we were told in health class how the first time always hurts the most so it was no big deal. That was one of the few times I saw anger flash across my brother's face. He said that what they teach you in health class is sex but being intimate with someone should be about making love because you love them and they love you. He then said that being intimate isn't something you should take lightly because you are giving a special piece of yourself to the other. He added that making love to someone is something you do when you are in a relationship with someone; it's not a onetime thing. I asked him how you know if you love someone enough to share that piece of you and he told me that you just know. I thought he was crazy. He said you can see it in their eyes, feel it in their touch, and hear it in their voice. Love is when you care more about the other's happiness than your own, you think about them every second of every day, your stomach does circles when you see them, and you want to do anything possible to take their pain away when you see them hurting. He then told me that I'll know when I finally find the man that makes me want to learn how to cook for him and that can put up with my stubbornness and my rambling. He also told me that the man he was talking about wouldn't mind being interrogated by my big brother." Meredith said with a smile. "He told me he loved me and that despite what our parents say I deserved to be loved the way he was describing and that was why he pulled Finn off of me. He asked me to promise him that I would wait until I found the man he described. After looking in his eyes I promised him I would wait forever even if I didn't deserve that kind of love. He smiled at me and told me again that I deserved to be loved like he described. He then promised I wouldn't have to wait forever once I let someone in to know me."

Beth still saw tears in Meredith's eyes. "Are you ok?"

"Listen the reason I told you that is because I think you deserve what Jason was talking about. You deserve to be loved like that and have that kind of relationship with someone."

"You do too Mer."

Meredith continued not even acknowledging Beth's comment. "Your parents, they are great people Beth and I think they have what Jason was talking about."

"I don't really want to talk about my parents being intimate Mer…bad, bad pictures."

Meredith laughed. "The love Beth, I'm talking about the love they have for each other and the relationship they have. That's why you need to talk to your mom about this."

Beth was silent for a second deciding if she should ask the next question but her curiosity got the best of her. "Meredith if he pulled off the road how did the accident happen?"

"When we were done talking he gave me a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek before he started the car again and got back on the road. We were talking about school and joking around. About 5 minutes later we turned into the neighborhood. It was weird because as soon as he turned I wanted to turn around but he laughed at me just like he always did when I told him I had a feeling. We were 2 blocks away, we were going through the intersection and I saw the car coming. I screamed for Jason to look out and I…I couldn't take my eyes away from his window. It was like we were moving in slow motion. I stared into the headlights of the car and I saw it hit us. After it hit I just remember waking up to Alex three days later in my hospital room. I didn't remember at first and then he told me and it all came back. I wanted to see Jason and Alex had to tell me that Jason hadn't survived. I asked about the funeral and Alex said the funeral was the day before. They couldn't even wait until I woke up to bury my brother. I never got to say goodbye to him." Meredith finished with tears in her eyes.

"I'm so sorry Meredith." Beth said as she leaned over and gave her a hug.

"Its fine, besides what hurts you only makes you stronger right? Or something like that, I think I forgot the saying." Meredith smiled.

The two sat in silence for a few minutes before Beth spoke again. "He said interrogated?"

Meredith smiled. "Yeah he was a little over protective."

"Would he really interrogate anyone you dated?"

"Honestly Beth I have no doubt he would have." Meredith smiled to Beth who was also smiling. "You better wipe that smile off your face, do you think your father, Derek, or Mark would really let you go out with just anyone?"

Beth's smile turned into a frown. "They wouldn't be bad would they?"

"I think it's safe to say that any boy you bring home better have a bullet proof vest on." Meredith laughed at the look on Beth's face. "Come on let's get home before someone comes looking for us."

They walked back to the car and started for home. Beth turned to Meredith. "Thanks Mer."

"You're welcome Beth. Just think about what I said ok? And don't be in such a hurry to grow up. You'll get there fast enough and trust me it's not all it's cracked up to be."

"OK." Beth replied and then after a few seconds of silence she spoke again. "Mer why haven't you been around much? I miss talking to you."

"Well I got another job tutoring some kids for summer school and on weekends I babysit sometimes. I need the money for something important for my mother."

"Why not ask daddy for money now that you're living with us?"

"Because he's your father and he already has five of you to worry about."

"What about your mom?"

"My mom doesn't believe in giving kids money. She's always told me you have to work for what you get so I'm working. It's no big deal and that way I can stay out of your parent's way."

"You're not in their way."

Just then they pulled into the driveway. "Go in and talk to your mom. I've got some studying to do."

"Ok, Mer. Thanks again and I'll come get you for supper." Beth replied as she made her way into the house and Meredith followed before going up to her room.

Beth looked at both of her parents and she saw tears in their eyes. She even saw them in Derek's.

"You never talked to me Elizabeth."

"I'm sorry mom but I didn't have any more questions so I didn't need to talk to you. What Mer told me it made sense and I think she's right that I do deserve someone like that. I don't understand why she would say she doesn't. Why she doesn't know how amazing she is?" Beth said as she looked at each of her parents.

Mrs. Shepherd gave her daughter a hug and then turned back to her husband. "She is amazing."

Michael had listened to his youngest talking about sex or making love and at first he was upset that she would be talking to anyone but a family member until he heard everything that she was told. At that moment his heart grew a little bigger for Meredith. He knew Meredith could have just left Beth and not tried to help her or she could have told Beth to make her own decisions and of course to talk to her parents but Meredith had gone beyond that. She had treated Beth like a sister and not just that, she had also shared something personal about herself and what she had said about his relationship with his wife that got to him. He heard his wife and then remembered why they were all once again in the living room without Meredith when he saw his wife's tears. "Cindy, what happened, what brought this all about?"

"This." Cindy said as she handed the folder over to her husband. She watched as he opened the folder and started to go through the papers. "She wants my help." She chuckled a little. "She gave me this check saying she wanted to retain my services to help her file the paperwork and to represent her in court."

Derek stepped closer to his father and looked over his shoulder. "What does she need a lawyer for mom?"

"Emancipation."

"What?" Beth asked.

"She wants to divorce her mother. She wants to be considered an adult."

Michael had looked through the paperwork and found what looked like a budget. "What is this?"

"It's her plan to pay me back. She said she is going to try and get a job at the mall next week so she will have a job during school which will help her pay me back faster. She also said something about getting her own apartment. She has been tutoring other students, keeping her job at the Y, babysitting, and anything else we ask her. She does it all without complaining and without wanting anything in return. She acted as though she was ashamed to be asking me for my help because she didn't have the money right away."

"What did you tell her?"

"I didn't answer her. She got a call and…I think she figures that I won't help her. I saw the tears coming down her face when she left the driveway. I want to help her Michael. I was in shock. You saw those papers, I have assistants to do all that for me and it can take them months to get everything ready. She has been doing this for 3 weeks but only having a few hours each day. I know she's not our daughter yet but I want to help her."

"Yet?" Michael asked.

Cindy looked at Derek who was now closer to his sisters as they were thumbing through the paperwork not knowing what it all meant. She looked back to her husband. "Michael you know the way he looks at her do you really think it's just a crush? You use to look at me like that."

"Use too?"

Cindy laughed. "Ok you still do, it's in the eyes, just like Jason said. The point is he is in love with her and when they both realize they feel the same way about each other, I would bet money on it that he will have a ring on her finger in the next few years and her last name will be Shepherd."

"I learned a long time ago not to bet against you and for the record I saw the look the night he woke me to help her."

"Mom what are you going to do?" Derek asked stepping forward and giving her the folder. He didn't know what everything in the folder meant but he knew Meredith had asked for help and if he needed to he would help convince his mother to help her.

Cindy and Michael shared a glance and Michael nodded. "I'm going to help her." Cindy replied and then glanced at the clock before looking back to the girls. "I think it's time for bed."

There was a chorus of oks, goodnights, and I love you's as the four girls all gave Michael and Cindy a hug.

Beth watched the others head up to bed and then turned to Derek. She gave him a hug. "Thank-you for brining her here Der." Derek didn't say anything and she gave her mom a hug next. "I love you mom." Next she gave her dad a hug. "I love you daddy."

Michael held her for a few seconds longer than past hugs. "Don't be in such a hurry to grow up honey; you'll get there soon enough."

Beth smiled. "I know daddy. Mer told me the same thing."

"She is a smart girl. Just remember sweetheart that your mother and I are always here for you and you can talk to us about anything."

"I know but some things, it's just easier to talk to non parent types. I know Mer's had a tough life. She's told me a little about her mom and I heard what Ellis said the other day. She needs more people like Jason around her people that love her so we can show her how great she really is and prove to her that she deserves to be loved just like the rest of us. And mom, I'm glad you're going to help her. Goodnight." Beth finished and headed up the stairs.

"Who was that?"

Cindy chuckled as her, Michael, and Derek took seats. "That my dear is your baby girl."

"She's not a baby anymore mom."

"You're right Derek; she is becoming a young woman."

"She is only 14."

"Going on 15 honey. I'm glad she had Meredith to talk to, what she said to her, I couldn't have said it better myself."

"Yeah." Derek sighed

"Yeah." Michael added in. "And what she said about our relationship…" Michael paused and then looked to Derek. "She is pretty amazing Derek."

"Yeah." Derek said again.

Michael and Cindy chuckled at their son. "Derek?"

"Yeah."

"Derek!"

"W…what?" Derek questioned looking at both his parents who were both laughing now.

"Goodnight son. We will wait up for Meredith."

"Thanks dad. Goodnight and goodnight mom. I love you both." Derek finished before heading up to bed feeling better knowing that his mom was going to help Meredith.

GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA GAGAGAGA

Looking back I wonder if my mom coming that day was her way of telling me she missed me and really wanted me back in the house. If that was the case maybe had she just come out and said it I would have moved back. We'll never know since it didn't go that way, in a way I'd like to think I would have because she was my mom and I know that Jason loved her and would have wanted me there.

I still remember the day mom slit her wrists. I never told anyone about that, not even Jason. Telling the Shepherds was easier than I thought it would have been. They didn't judge me but I could tell they were upset that it had happened. In a way I think it made us closer because they had found out a little more about my past. I know that by me sharing this story with them I started to trust them and I hope they felt the same way.

As far as the emancipation, it never happened. Mrs. Shepherd did help me however the judge did not rule in my favor. I thought that my mom and Ray would have blown off the court date but they surprised me and both showed up. Because of this the judge said that since they still wanted me and there was no real proof of any abuse he turned down my request. I was devastated and I could tell that Mr. and Mrs. Shepherd were upset. Mrs. Shepherd appealed however the judge did not change his mind. He did however let me stay with the Shepherds instead of forcing me back which I was grateful for and my mom didn't object. Of course it wasn't until later that I found out why she didn't object. She was calculating her own way of getting me back in the house. I should have known she wouldn't give up.

Author's note: Sorry this has taken so long. I hope there is still interest and if you have a chance please let me know what you think. Hopefully the next chapter will be up quicker than this one.