Cries of A loner
By KalaIvanov
Chapter III: Guilt
Ray sat alone outside the Dojo. He had told the others he was going for a walk and now he finally had time to think over all that he had seen. Kai, I'm sorry I should have seen it sooner. It's not your fault that you're like you are, you're just scared. Ray sighed and looked down at the lush green grass; as it swayed gently in the cool breeze. But don't worry Kai. I'll help you; I'll be your friend.
Ray couldn't understand why he hadn't realised it sooner. Just because Kai acted cold, it didn't mean that there was nothing more to him. Their former captain wasn't just a cold and empty shell, he was human, and he felt emotion.
Ray felt guilt plague him as he realised that he, like everyone else had treated Kai bitterly. He had always frowned when Kai didn't answer their questions and ignored them. Why couldn't he have just smiled? Kai didn't have to say anything if he didn't want to.
A quiet sound from over the wall jolted Ray out of his thoughts. He stood up and ran round the corner of the street to a small doorway into a usually deserted courtyard, where rubbish bins, garages and other stuff that people wanted out of the way were kept. But at this moment the courtyard was not deserted. Ray watched as a boy with two toned blue hair knelt down beside a medium sized white cat.
The teenager stroked the cat lovingly and handed it a small saucer of milk. The white cat happily licked the milk as the boy stroked it.
Kai cared for animals too. You can hide from the others, but not from me. I think I finally understand Kai, I think I understand you. A small but genuine smile appeared on Ray's face. He kept well hidden behind the wall, only peering around enough to see his team mate let his barriers slip. Don't worry Kai. You're not alone, I'm sorry for how I treated you before and I hope you'll forgive me. Because now, I understand you, I can be your friend Kai, and I will be your friend.
Ray stood and watched as Kai cared for the creature. The cat was still drinking and didn't want to be disturbed. As Kai reached out to stroke it's back the cat flung around and scratched Kai's right arm. For a moment Ray expected Kai to get angry and hurt the animal, but no. He just wiped the blood carelessly away. Watching this Ray beamed. Kai really did care, he wasn't at all self-centred, and in fact he was completely self-less.
Why on earth didn't I see this before? Ray thought angrily to himself as the guilt played on his mind. Like the others he had always gotten irritated with Kai and called him names.
As Kai stood up and turned to leave. Ray jumped and ran out of fear of being caught snooping.
Once back inside the Dojo, Ray was greeted by his team mates and friends.
"Hey buddy, good walk?" Max asked as he entered the room.
"Yeah" Ray replied happily "So what are we doing to stop Boris and his BEGA league?" He asked.
"Well first of all Ray." Kenny said while typing on his laptop. "Is our line up, we need to match up our bladers to take on theirs. So we have to choose carefully"
"The chief's right, we have to get our order right" Tyson stated.
Ray walked over and sat on the floor at the low table in between Max and Daichi. In the middle of the table was a large plate of sandwiches, of which a few were missing and some were nibbled on the edge.
"These sandwiches are really good" Mariah commented.
"Yeah" Julia agreed "Who made them?" She asked, looking around for the sandwich chef.
"I dunno" Tyson said shrugging his shoulders. "The only people her before you guys arrived were; Ray, Daichi, Max, Kenny and me. Oh and Kai, but Mr. Sourpuss has wandered off as usual.
Ray frowned at that statement. If only they knew the truth about Kai. He considered telling them but pushed the thought aside; realising that they would most likely not believe him, or they would all start doing something even meaner like calling Kai Mr Sappy.
"Maybe Grandpa made 'em?" Daichi suggested.
"Not me dawgs." Said grandpa granger coming into the room. "But I did see Kai come outta this room after the sandwiches were first put here." He informed them.
"So Kai made the sandwiches?" Kenny shrieked "Oh no"
"What's the matter Kenny; Kai made some sandwiches, big deal." Tyson said.
"No I mean Kai made these for us and we didn't even leave him any or even thank him"
"So Kai doesn't care. You know he never listens, he's like one of those guards at Buckingham palace who just stand there and don't say anything or react to any insults." Tyson continued.
"Tyson" Ray cut in "Have you ever thought that maybe Kai does care, but just doesn't say anything?"
"What, no way Ray. Kai doesn't care one little bit what we say about him. You can insult him all you like" Tyson pressed on, not realising the truth about the boy who he was disrespecting.
"Tyson just shut up! Don't speak before you know the facts, have you ever even stopped and wondered why Kai is always so quiet and why he never speaks up?" Ray said fiercely "Kai does have feelings you know, yet everyone's still horrible to him. Don't you ever feel any guilt when you insult him?"
"Hey calm down Ray." Max said "Kai's a private person who keeps to himself, but if he didn't like what we say about him, I'm sure he would tell us"
Ray stood up to leave "You just don't get it" Ray stated and walked out the room, leaving a stunned audience.
Going out of the Dojo he walked down the street and decided to look for Kai to see if he could find the stoic teen.
Why Kai? Why do you do it? I'm still not sure I understand. You could be a great friend if you tried, why can't you just open up? Ray sighed and walked down the hill towards the river. It was getting slightly dark as it was early autumn. Ray thought he was alone when he heard a quiet voice talking in no more than a whisper.
"You're the only one who understands. And you're trapped in my beyblade"
Ray's head snapped up and he looked at a lone figure that was seated just under the bridge. Sure enough it was the slate haired young man he was looking for.
"I wish I had a real friend, Dranzer. All I want is for someone to understand" The boy whispered to his Beyblade. Kai's head bowed and when he thought he was alone a single tear escaped down a pale cheek.
Ray could only stand and watch, as the boy who for so long had seemed nothing but a cold and empty shell let his barriers slip. As he watched tears sprang to Ray's own eyes as Kai Hiwatari sat alone and wished for a better life.
But as he cried for his friend guilt plagued him. Kai I'm sorry. Please forgive me, I'm beginning to understand. Why you're the loner, the sourpuss. You're afraid; all you need is a friend.
Ray watched quietly. Kai's expression was one of sadness and misery. Ray had barely ever seen him smile. I bet you've got the most beautiful smile in the world. Can't you just open up and let it show. Ray sat down on the hill and whispered one final word for the boy he now swore to help. "Sorry" Ray said it quietly, so quiet the boy below him didn't even hear, but somehow, Kai subconsciously felt a warm presence inside.
The Russian orphan put his head in his hands and cried. What he felt he could not say he cried away. The cry was almost a plead for help, a plea for someone to help him, to show him that life could be more, and that it was okay to let emotion show.
As Ray watched the tears stream down the tattooed face of the stoic blader he empathised for the life of the boy below him that was so lost and scared. Kai Hiwatari was slowly dying on the inside.
Ray stood up again, and made his way over to the slate haired teen that so desperately needed his help. Finally deciding to help Kai Hiwatari see that he could have a better life.
Walking until forward until he was a mere foot behind the miserable boy. "Kai" Ray murmured softly.
Kai's head snapped up instantly. He quickly wiped the tears from his eyes and turned around to see Ray standing behind him. Kai's expression immediately went back to the cold look he was known for. He silently prayed that Ray hadn't seen him in that state. Though part of him almost hoped Ray had seen.
"Ray, what do you want?" Kai said, harsher than he meant too.
Ray looked Kai straight in the eye. Kai stared back with a cold glare. Ray didn't flinch, only focused on the boy behind the glare. The one who had Kai's emotions, the boy Ray knew was there.
Kai glared harder. Demanding to know why Ray was here. He hated it when he started glaring at people. He didn't want to act so cold and emotionless toward everyone. He wanted to care.
"You can't fool me with that glare" Ray said softly "I know Kai"
Know, know what? Kai thought. He stared into Ray's amber orbs. And saw something that he had never seen before. He wasn't quite sure what that look meant, but it was almost as if Ray understood.
Kai suddenly feel weak. He didn't know how it happened; he didn't know why it happened. But he suddenly cried. He started sobbing in front of Ray. But what surprised him the most. Was that Ray didn't look shocked as he would have expected. Ray just gave him an understanding look.
"It's okay Kai. I understand. Everyone needs to cry away their misery. Even you, Kai. I know you're not invincible. You have emotions Kai. I've seen you cry before." Ray soothed.
Kai sobbed harder. He suddenly fell to the floor in a heap. He didn't care about Ray seeing him cry, he didn't care if Ray told the whole world, he didn't care about anything anymore. All he wanted was a friend, someone who understood.
Ray put a hand on Kai's shivering back. Kai didn't protest, he just sobbed with his head bowed.
"I hate this, I hate my life. It's endless torture. I never even had a childhood. I was forced to grow up too fast. I never even had a real friend. My Grandfather hit me, Boris hit me. I was tortured endlessly. I was never allowed to show emotion. If I ever did I was beaten. I was never allowed to show weakness." Kai stood up and pushed Ray away.
"Kai its okay" Ray tried to comfort Kai. But he wasn't listening. He just continued ranting, the truth of Kai's life was finally revealed.
"I lost my memory at nine. My best friend was killed at eight. My mother died when I was two and a half. I never even had a father. But I did have a grandfather. He never even loved me. He whipped me, forced me to be the perfect solider. He sent me to the abbey the day after my mother died. I was only tortured more there. But my Grandfather didn't leave me. He would always tell me it was my fault my mother died. He made me feel the guilt of her death. He never let me be a child. I was forced to grow up. I was forced to become a Beyblader. I never even had a choice. And then when I'm on the Bladebreakers you all torture me emotionally. Making out that I ruin everything. That I don't care, that I never cared. But you never stopped to think that I do. You always forced me to feel the guilt if any of you had done anything. All my life I've known the guilt of others failures." Kai sobbed harshly, leaning against the side of the leg of the bridge.
"Kai, it's alright" Ray had seen that Kai had emotions. But he never realised all that Kai had been through in his life. His past was a tidal wave of bad memories. And even now, all the other bladers picked on him continuously.
"Kai please, it's alight. I can be your friend." Ray said.
Kai looked shocked at that. Almost as if he's never had a real friend before. Ray thought.
"You-you want to be f-friends?" Kai asked, looking almost stunned.
End chapter three ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
No this story is NOT over! It's far from over. So don't worry. This chapter took me absolutely forever. Writer's block was taking over. And I've been really bust at school. The teachers are making us do all these stupid assessments. Even a French assessment and I have an evil French teacher. But you'll be glad to know I was the only one in my class who got a level six in English. And I got highest for the girls in my maths test. Anyway. I'm not here to show off about my good grades even though I'm only in Year 8. (I RULE) I love my high school though. Anyway, back to business. REVIEW ME, REVIEW ME, REVIEW ME! PLEASE!
