Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it.
III.
- She Belongs With Light -
Against every existent logic he was acquainted with, Amaya found his collection of insects quite fascinating. He had shown it to one or two people before but receiving mixed feeling from their side, he thought it was better left only for his personal enjoyment. Well, Kiba showed interest that one time but the act he put on was as transparent as it could get. Shino appreciated his efforts to make a friend happy by giving attention to his hobby but the collection was so grand that it somewhat appeared... disturbing to the normal mind. Whoever entered that room in his house never got out of it with the same impression for the host.
At least not the same as the one he's had before. The vibe it gave out was more of a stupefied than a fascinated or charmed in any way attendant. Shino was aware of the palette of negative emotions that his various guests felt throughout the visits but for the first time in his life, the emotion he sensed was light and warm and the one stupefied was him.
"Ahh, they're so cute!" Amaya squeaked, peering into the glass box, her hands on the walls. "Why haven't I seen that species in Iwa?"
"These are found more in the northern and eastern parts of The Land of Fire. Iwa's too humid for them. I brought them all the way from Yugakure's outskirts."
"What are they called?" Amaya's eyes sparkled. "I'm in love."
"Bombus impatiens. Or as everyone knows them, Bumblebees."
Shino couldn't believe the happiness that Amaya radiated.
She examined the fuzzy and loud bumble bees that flew around, with general curiosity and admiration. Seemed like she took a great liking in them because she nailed on that glass vivarium and didn't want to leave for ten minutes now. An old wooden piece laid in there, corroded by the bees' holes. Their hive was hidden within but it was rather lively, with workers going to and fro.
"Practically impatient bombs. Fluffy and flying bombs." Amaya narrowed eyes as one of the bees alighted on the glass behind her palm. "He likes me. I'll name him Bombie. Cool enough for me."
"It's been given that name because their food resource is a flower from the genus Impatiens. That's why-
"I don't think so." She cut him off, shaking head. "Are they aggressive?"
"They are easily provoked into stinging, yes."
"That's where the name comes from." She concluded but as she straightened up again, her smile faded. "I'm gonna miss them."
Shino fought with the selfish desire for quite some time before gathering the strength to ask.
"Do you want me to give you some? If you... have a place to..." He drawled, noticing her upset expression.
"I shouldn't take them away from you. You must be attached to them."
"No, it's alright. If they make you happy."
Amaya looked up at him for a moment.
"Can I have Bombie?"
"Yes."
"Judging from your nearly tortured expression I feel like he had a previous name. One that you like more than mine." She folded hands, eyeing Shino suspiciously. "And you're not telling me."
"Doesn't matter." Shino made a pause. "He's baptized now."
Amaya's hands rested on her sides, her expression becoming serious again. There was some kind of determination in her eyes this time.
She stepped to hug him, the motion making him highly uncomfortable at the beginning but she insisted, hands wrapped around his waist. As tall as she was, compared to the other girls, her head fit perfectly in the crook of his neck.
"Thank you." She smiled at his inconvenience. "I know what they mean to you."
"It's... it's nothing." He muttered, his hands frozen in mid-air, avoiding the touch.
Amaya finally stepped back, her face shining brightly.
"You're not a fan of hugs."
Shino couldn't understand. There was something in her look that exposed and unfolded and pierced painfully but it was a good pain. She was like an angel and a witch at the same time with a divine power that conquered and could not be resisted. He found himself trying to find an escape from her gaze, despite that his eyes were hidden behind dark glasses.
"I should've known. Sorry." She nodded and continued with the observation of his collection, intrigued by the next specimen across.
How could someone hate and love something at the same time? His fists slowly clenched with the struggle. He didn't want any contact, of any kind. And it angered him that she was that intrusive as if his opinion didn't matter, as if he was the next villager. He was an Aburame. Who was she to act so freely?
But she was so... tender. Even Hinata hasn't hugged him that way.
"Do you want to see the village at night?" He asked, abruptly.
"Excuse me?" She turned around, wrinkling.
"Do you want to see Konoha at night?"
"I would love to," Amaya exclaimed, clapping hands. Her excitement was abruptly changed by confusion. "It's still noon, though."
"I know."
Amaya raised a brow.
"Al-right, then."
"What is it?" Shino almost sensed the strong confusion emanating from her.
"Nothing, just..." She shrugged, glancing at him. "You are very hard to read, you know."
Shino relaxed, taking his time before replying.
"You are not the first to say that to me."
The hours in that house usually passed slowly during the weekends but that weekend, in particular, it just flew away. It wasn't long until the sun went down and the afternoon crawled slowly and silently as only an autumn Saturday afternoon could. Striding down a small alley, both of them kept it quiet until Amaya didn't decide to break the silence. Once they reached the main street, their pace slowed down and Shino took a deep breath, adjusting to the unpleasant clamor everything around them gave out.
"Where do we go now?" Amaya cheered, hands in the pockets of her coat.
"I don't know."
She was taken aback by his cross tone but somewhat found it to be amusing because a faint smile adorned her features. Her mocking expression didn't stop him from acting all grumpy. Just the opposite, it irritated him even more. She deserved it.
"You sound like I was the one who suggested we go out." She chuckled, then added slowly. "You weren't going to take me to dinner, were you?"
Shino remained silent as they paced one next to another.
"Goodness, you were!" Amaya bit her lip, giving him an apologetic expression. "I did eat dinner already, though. I'm really sorry."
The people who passed by cast curious glances at them, not missing to surround at different radiuses around them. Not that Shino was worried but it seemed like it bothered the woman next to him because she was obviously restless.
"Why didn't you eat with me?" She asked, careful. "Is the problem in me?"
"Not at all."
"You're not used to company, is that it?"
He looked at her.
"My apologies. I know it's rude to not make my guest company but I wasn't feeling very well."
"Yeah, you disappeared from my sight with that excuse and I spent the whole afternoon wondering if I did something wrong." Amaya tossed her head, teasing him.
"You have done nothing wrong. I just wasn't hungry."
Amaya glanced at him.
"You just wanted to be alone for a while, I take it."
"Correct."
"I know some tricks that could've helped you feel better. Insect users have some sensitive spots." Amaya raised her left hand up, leaning to him. "This spot," She pointed at the spot between her thumb and her forefinger, "is one of them. Rubbing it helps you get rid of a headache."
Shino's lips parted in a silent awe as he nearly stopped.
"You didn't know that." Amaya laughed. "I'll tell you more if you want."
"Please do." He nodded, taking up with his usual pace.
"Oh!" She snapped as if remembering something important. "Can we go to that place the guard recommended me?"
"Of course."
Fortunately, Amaguirama had now covered their inner yard and the places where people usually sat were protected by wind and the cold during the winter days. The cafe was cozy but not as much as Shino remembered it. During the time of his youth, Amaguirama held some kind of a charm that has somehow evaporated through the years. It just wasn't the same.
They decided to go for two cups of tea, in the end, and sat at a secluded table in the corner.
"Don't you want to taste anything of the sweets?" Shino asked her, glancing back at the shop-window. "Since you've already had dinner."
"You're still mad about this!" Amaya exclaimed.
"You knew we were going out and you still did it." He turned to look at her, exercising his calmest intonation but she was covering her face with hands, unable to stop the laughter from coming out of her.
"I said I'm sorry."
"I know."
Amaya managed to calm down, placing her palms on the table.
"Wish I could hear that dry I accept the apology from you again." She sighed, leaning back in her chair.
Shino knew she peered through his glasses steadily but didn't care to meet her eyes, looking down. He found himself avoiding them the whole day because they distracted him. The brief detaching from her presence he did that afternoon only led him to a stronger form of a headache. And something else too. There was this void inside of him that wasn't there before. Alone in the silence... he had always thought that's what he was meant to be but her laughter left him restless and mixed feelings mingled in him.
Never before had he liked noise of any kind, he still didn't. Her laughter, though, its timbre was not unpleasant. Just the opposite, he almost heard it in his head amidst the darkness of his own room and couldn't help but need to hear it again.
Need?
Needs were dangerous. He knew himself well enough to notice, he was prone to addicting. And that laughter was addicting, and he couldn't understand why. It made him feel some kind of a warmth that has been missing.
"I accept the apology." Shino finally spoke, winning a wide smile from her right away.
Before she could speak a waiter came and served them the tea.
"Would you like something else..."
"Amaya." Her cheeks reddened at the curious look the waiter gave her, completely ignoring Shino.
"Amaya, anything else?" The boy appeared overly interested in her and she took a breath, nervous.
"You see, I am not from here and I thought you could bring me something that I can remember my visit in the village with. I leave the choice to you."
"Very well." The boy nodded and left quickly.
Shino followed him with his eyes, furrowing. As much as he was used to being ignored, that boy completely shut him out of his sight.
"Poor boy, he is so into me. I wonder what would happen if I tell him I have bees in my body."
Shino took a sip from his tea and focused on the steam that curled over the cup in front of him. The sound of a chair stirring his way dragged his attention but he nearly flinched when he saw Amaya bending her head so that she could catch his eyes through the dark lenses. Only that she was really close.
"I can see your eyes, you know. But only from that close." She interlocked her hands on the table and averted her gaze.
"He didn't even notice you. Now I feel bad about it. I'll avenge you." She whispered, smirking.
"Here you go." The boy returned with a small plate, full of curiously looking balls. "Sand Dumplings. You'll love them."
"Thank you. Is there vanilla in here?" Amaya wrinkled her brows.
"Yes. Why?" The boy couldn't take his eyes off hers.
"Uh," She gave him an innocent smile. "Insects are repelled by vanilla. I'm afraid we'll both end up throwing up if we eat that." In the brief pause, she glanced at Shino who stood still and silent. "That'd be awful, you know."
The color of the boy's skin quickly faded as he stood as if hit by a lightning and couldn't decide what to do.
"You know what, take that away and we'll pay only for the tea." Amaya took the plate and handed it to him but the boy seemed as dumbfounded as it could get. "Please."
At her last word, the boy snapped out of his state and grabbed the plate, leaving their presence at a fast pace. Not until the boy disappeared from their sight suppressed sounds came from Amaya and Shino looked at her. She had her mouth covered again, with the back of her palm.
"I'm not the vengeful type but I had to do it. He should've asked what you want, too."
"I would've done the same as him," Shino said, still focused on his companion.
Amaya's dark hair fell around her heart-shaped face in a rather captivating way. It wasn't completely free, though. A small creamy bowtie held a lock of hair on the side of her head and created this lovable air around her. And her perfume... as refined as it was, he still distinguished that base sweet scent she carried, despite the fact that many and confusing scents intermingled all around them. As he thought about it if neither of them hadn't spent years among people and hadn't lived in villages for most of their lives, that noise and those scents were going to overwhelm them.
"You?" Amaya met his eyes, wondering. "You are not a tenth as ignorant and rude as him. There's no comparison here."
"He's younger." Shino slightly tilted his head.
Amaya scoffed, sensing the way that conversation was going.
"I prefer someone experienced."
"Young is easily molded."
"Young doesn't understand what is like to be lonely. He never will, I see it in his eyes."
Shino thought for a moment before speaking, looking down at the tea between his hands.
"He can learn to understand."
"Uh-uh." Amaya hurried to parry. "You are wrong on this one, sensei. You either know what it's like or you don't. No in between."
"Doesn't make him unreliable."
"He's impatient. Young always wants everything at the very second." Amaya narrowed eyes. "Patience is what wins my heart."
"You should've told him that instead of scaring him away."
"Serves him right. If he's revolted by insects, he's revolted by me. I don't see how we'll work out."
"Painting a gruesome image as the one you did for him isn't a good way to start a relationship," Shino advised her but her smile only widened with every word he said.
"Gruesome image? That's the truth." She raised a brow. "If he can't handle the truth, I don't want him."
"Cruel," Shino noted calmly. "You didn't even give him a chance."
"I am the one who's cruel? I think you are crueler than me." Amaya's voice lowered vastly whereat he turned to meet her eyes, confused at the sudden emotion. "For not giving a chance to yourself."
Shino opened his mouth in an attempt to reply but the words didn't come out. He furrowed, seeing the sadness she held. Sadness... for him? Why would someone get so sad over him?
"My time has passed." He averted his gaze from her, unable to watch her twist her features like that. As if she saw right through him.
"Time," She leaned to him, smiling. "is a relative term."
"And they all screamed and shouted, running to the corner of the room and I just died laughing." Amaya wiped the tears that have formed in the corners of her eyes, tears of laughter. "All that, for a bug. It wasn't even a dangerous bug."
"I have similar experiences," Shino said, thoughtfully. "People have this fear of bugs and I don't understand it."
"That's probably because they're not used to them." Amaya shrugged. "Like us."
"I suppose you're right."
"Some bugs are dangerous, though." She hurried to add. "It's an inner instinct, to run from danger."
They just reached the Aburame Household when the conversation ended. The sky was darker with the fall of the night. Walking around in Konoha at that time... Shino never thought he would do that. Much less with such an intriguing figure. Amaya was fascinated by everything she saw in the village and appeared at her happiest. The temperatures dropped drastically at one time, though, and they decided they'll call it a day.
"Please." Shino gestured to her to enter before him and she nodded in gratitude.
He stepped in and clicked the door closed. His hand reached for the lighting switch and turned it on but the light flickered a few times, bright and dark, before dying completely out.
"Apologies. I feared it might break down when it shouldn't-" Shino didn't finish, almost hearing Amaya's racing heart.
"Are you alright?" He asked, stepping to her.
His voice startled her and she immediately pasted her back to the cold wall, her breathing becoming heavier and heavier with every second. A quiet moan escaped her lips as her hands lifted up in front of her face in an attempt to defend herself. Her back on the wall as if she's forced against it, Amaya appeared completely helpless. He observed her without interrupting, the darkness offering him a clear view of the scene. Gradually a furrow formed on his face.
"Amaya?" He called at a loss, shifting in front of her.
She shut her eyes, shrinking as if in expectation of a blow.
Several ideas emerged in Shino's mind at the sight but none of them was he going to unfold because it wasn't the time for it. The emotions raving inside of her were of pure terror, they were strong enough for him to feel them. He couldn't possibly let her remain in that state for minute longer.
"Amaya," Shino repeated, exercising his calmest intonation. "You're not in danger here. Do you hear me?"
She still breathed heavily when her eyes opened and went to and fro in surprise. For a split second, Shino felt the urge to get closer. It hit him like a strike of a lightning bolt but the strength of that desire frightened him and he stepped back.
"I'll be here in a second." He said, going in the back in order to see if the safety fuses haven't blown.
Fortunately, they had not and he fixed the lighting as quickly as he could, in fear that leaving her there, alone in the darkness, wouldn't be wise. Soon the light lit the corridor up once again and he returned to her, stopping at a safe distance.
"Are you alright?" His voice was calm and collected, although he didn't want it to sound as distant.
Amaya still leaned on the wall, the pupils of her eyes still wide and her hands still trembling. The way she looked at him as if she was on the verge of breaking down but she... couldn't afford to. But why? Before he could think any further she broke the awkward silence.
"You called me by name just now, didn't you? " She chuckled, hands enveloping her own arms. "I lived to hear. Though I'll be honest, I prefer Aya."
Shino furrowed at her. If he hadn't witnessed everything he'd think that whole scene was a hallucination of his. She looked too composed. Only that her face was pale.
"I... uh," She gave him an apologetic smile. "Flickering lights have this effect on my bees. They... dazzle me."
Lie.
Red light turned on in Shino's mind as he tilted his head. That's the first statement he detected as a hundred percent lie. He knew there was something wrong with this girl from the start.
"I'm fine, I just..." Amaya gave out a nervous laugh. " I'm so sorry. I make you feel uncomfortable since I've arrived. Should've stayed in that fancy villa you mentioned."
She made a step to him but faltered and her hand instantly leaned on the wall for support. Shino was generally confused. If she was an ordinary woman, he would've paid no mind, but she was an ambassador. And she came... alone. That fact lingered at the back of his mind and gave him no peace, despite that there was no obvious reason he had to worry. For now.
He went to her and offered a hand, seeing how pale she turned in a matter of seconds.
Amaya muttered a short apology under her breath and enveloped his arm, walking beside him in silence as he led her to her room, lighting it up as he entered. Another long pause followed when Shino was torn apart between the desire to leave and stay. There was something really wrong. He knew because he felt it. That dreadful gut feeling. With almost every muscle in her body strained, heart racing and hands trembling around his own, the tension in her was tangible. She clung to him as if she needed to, her form slightly shrunk toward him.
Whatever happened to her, it hadn't left anything good afterward, he was certain of that. So fearful he'd never seen her by now.
"Should I stay with you?" Shino's composed interruption startled her and she looked up at him, her cheeks slowly acquiring a shade of pink that gradually deepened to red.
"Goodness, no. Thank you but no. That would be..." She laughed, letting him go all of a sudden, raising her palm in a gesture of gratitude. "No."
"You should leave the light on." He said matter-of-factly, not bothered by her reply.
"Oh, yes. I might." She bit her lip, eyes down for a second. "Good night."
In the moment her voice shook, at the last word, he knew she changed her mind.
"I'll stay."
"I have no right to..." She tilted her head, whispering. "Please."
"Do you want to tell me what's going on?" Shino asked right away.
"I can't." Amaya's eyes blurred, head shaking. "I can't."
"I won't ask, then. Is that alright with you?"
Her expression said no but she didn't reply, staring at him helplessly. That confused him most of everything. She did want to tell him but her mouth was tightly shut.
"You know what, I'll be fine," Amaya promised, swallowing down. "I will."
"Are you sure?"
"Absolutely. You can go to sleep."
Shino wasn't one to wait for a second call so he stepped away from her, leaving the room but before that her warm touch made him stop one last time. She was leaning on him but being with his back to her, he couldn't see her face.
"Thank you for being so kind to me, Shino." Her voice was so quiet that he barely heard it, as developed as his senses were. "I don't deserve it."
With these words, she broke away the touch and he knew it was time for him to go.
The words repeated in his mind throughout the whole night and didn't give him peace. He knew that they wouldn't because the questions became more and more and there was no answer to any of them. The only clear answer he got was to the another, more of an insignificant question. One that he asked himself for years now.
Odd but... those lights helped him apprehend. Having the reflection of another human being, too, he finally understood with whom, or rather with what, his place was.
He belonged with darkness.
A/N: Thanks for reading. I have a garden and these fluffy round thingies always visit our flowers in Spring. I've been in love with these loud bumble-bees for years and decided to include them because they're practically super cute and fat lol Always makes me laugh when they alight on a flower and it bends down because they're too heavy. Ok, I sound like an Aburame now. Enough of this.
I'll be honest here, that fanfic is practically ripping my heart out and I haven't even reached the 'bad' part yet. Shino's mind is a lonely place, filled with logic. That's so heartbreakingly sad because it sounds like he constantly tries to explain himself the tragedy of his existence with the calmness and the stability of a sage. Freaking love Shino. And I am kinda mad at Kishimoto for leaving him all alone.
Thanks for the review, MJ299. I greatly appreciate you saying those things! I also think I haven't seen a slow-developed story with Shino until now. I'd love to keep him as he is, as much as I can. Amaya, though, you'll see, I ain't spoiling. I can only spoil that she's tightly connected with Shino and it's not about something good.
Thank you for the excitement, Neatfreak47 and Rockrgrl4. Totally make me wanna write on.
Thanks, barrbs, Y, and Imogen. I do my best to update as fast as I can.
Guest, I hope you'll have the patience to see what happens ahead. I promise it's gonna hurt lol Thanks for leaving a review.
