A/N: Believe me, I've gone through a lot to get this chapter up. Lolz. So I hope you like this chapter, or else I went through so much for nothing :p

Note: This chapter doesn't contain as much humor as the other chapter. Additionally, the letter "d" on my keyboard isn't working very well. So if any words are missing a letter and it happens to be "d", please forgive me.

Disclaimer: I don't own CATS.

Listening to: My Grandma talking (Not a song btw, it's really my grandmother talking).

To my lovely reviewers:

To Evanne Taylor: I have no idea why you think it's funny either, but either way I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter and got a few chuckles out of it. :) I hope you're still reading and enjoy this chapter.

To Quill of Thoughts: Of course, you'll see :p Thanks for reading and please read this chapter as well.

To Surise: I'm glad/surprised you think the characters are IC, in fact I felt the major flaw of this fic was that they were out of character ^_^ haha. I'm glad you read and liked my story. Hope this chapter lives up to your expectations.

To Olliv Lynn Sulam: Glad you thought it was hilarious. I hope you enjoy this chapter as well.

To HanakoAnimeaddict: I hope you're referring to Alonzo and not me when you say self-centered. :) Lol, thank you for the fav and sub. I hope you like this chapter.


Chapter 3: In which Plato rambles, Jemima has anger management issues, Alonzo confesses a deep dark secret and the author runs out of things to say.


Rumors spread like wildfire and in the Junkyard it was no different. By morning there wasn't a single Jellicle who didn't know what Alonzo (in Jemima's body) had told the queens the night before. That happened to include a certain black and white tom (who was really Jemima).

Imagine Jemima's surprise when a gleeful Plato had bounced into Alonzo's den and began to spout the most ridiculous things.

"Aw. Em. Gee. You will not believe what I just heard!" Plato burst into Alonzo's den while Jemima (still stuck in Alonzo's body) was beginning to wake up.

Jemima screamed and then lowered her voice an octave, "Uhm, Plato, what brings you here?"

"Wow very manly yelp there, Alonzo", the tom grinned predictably and continued, "Anyway, don't you want to know what I heard?"

In Alonzo's body, Jemima rolled her eyes and thought, "It's not like you hear important stuff."

"Shoot", Jemima waved her hand and almost whacked Plato. Ugh! I'm not used to having long limbs.

Plato's face lit up as he related, "This morning I was walking by myself without a queen to keep me company and decided to go to the pond, since it's Spring, you know? The pond has lots of flowering buds this time of the year and it's really quite beautiful. I thought that I could get a nice rose or water lily to give to Victoria and stuff. But when I got there, I thought to myself, 'Plato, old tom, Victoria doesn't like flowers. Probably every poor sap gives her one and so I began to scheme on how-"

At which point, Jemima gave him a blank look as he rambled on and on about something not related to hearing something at all. Her jaw began to ease open slowly and her eyelids drooped down.

WHACK!

"GET TO THE POINT!" Jemima yelled at the rambling and now cowering tom.

"Geez, Alonzo", Plato whimpered, "What's got your ears in a twist?"

You have my ears in a twist, you rambling idiot!

Jemima began to take deep breaths to calm herself down and finally she regained her composure. She lowered her voice to sound more like Alonzo's and said, "Please get to the point of your story, because I'd like to hear what's going on before I die."

"Everlasting Cat, you don't have much patience today", Plato rubbed the spot on his head where she had whacked him. "Almost like a queen."

Jemima (in Alonzo's body of course) glared daggers at the tom.

"Alright, alright", Plato waved the glare off. "I heard from Demeter, who heard it from Tumblebrutus, who heard it from Exotica, who heard it from Cassandra, who heard it from Pouncival, who heard it from Munkustrap, who of course heard it from Coricopat, who heard it from-"

"Enough! What did you hear from all of them?"

"Man, impatient much?" The tom shook his head mockingly and sighed, "Very well."

Plato leaned forward as if increasing the suspense and whispered, "Jemima admitted to a few queens last night that she has a major crush on...you, Alonzo!"

Alonzo (really Jemima) had been drinking some water to ease the pain in her head, but at the last statement he (she) spat out all the water onto Plato.

"What?"


Meanwhile, as Plato was getting the crap beaten out of him in Alonzo's den, the real Alonzo was having a blast hanging out with the beautiful queens.

Electra had curled her tail around Jemima (Alonzo inside) and Victoria was leaning on her (his) shoulder. Content with his position, Alonzo was talking amiably with them.

"So why is it that you like Alonzo, Miss Jemima?" Electra smiled back at him.

Alonzo cleared his throat and began to answer in what he thought was the most accurate impression of Jemima, "Well, Electra, my kind and beautiful friend, Alonzo just has the dreamiest eyes and his build is soooo manly."

Victoria laughed at this statement and replied quickly, "C'mon Jemima, I want to know the real reason."

The calico (really Alonzo) gazed at Victoria and giggled, "Victoria, my amazing and equally beautiful friend, it's just that Alonzo is really funny and has some nice dance moves."

"Plato's funny and he has some really hot dance moves", the pure white queen countered, "But you don't like him as well."

"That's because Plato is a friggen idiot", a new voice joined in the conversation.

Three heads turned simultaneously towards the opening of the Queen's Den. As if speaking of the Devil, Alonzo (Jemima of course) had arrived and he (she) looked absolutely livid.

"You", Jemima seethed, pointing at Alonzo, who was in her body. "You, come with me. Now."

"If you want to declare your undying love for me, Alonzo", Alonzo, in Jemima's body, said dramatically, "You can say in front of everyone else."

"ARGHHHH!"

Victoria and Electra were so shocked, their eyes widened beyond disbelief.

"You're coming with me, or I will kill you, so help me Everlasting Cat", Jemima growled.

Alonzo rubbed his head bashfully, "Sheesh, if you want me so much you could be at least a bit polite about it."

Jemima grabbed herself (Alonzo) by the scruff of her neck and dragged her own body out of the den.


"You", Jemima pointed at him, still seething, "Explain. Now."

"Explain what? In case you didn't notice, you were the one to rudely interrupt my pleasant conversation with two beautiful queens and drag me here to yell at me." Alonzo shrugged his shoulders and raised his eyebrows looking at her critically.

Jemima grabbed Alonzo roughly and pulled him closer to her as she hissed, "You. Freaking. Imbecile!"

"And now you insult me with no basis", Alonzo sighed wearily. "Do you know how much tolerance I have had to build up for this?"

The black and white tom (Jemima) pushed the calico (Alonzo) away and stonily answered, "I guess I shouldn't have expected anything else from a tom like you."

"A tom like me, what do you mean?"

"But I swear to you", Jemima's eyes narrowed dangerously as she ignored his question. "Everything you have done to me, I will return ten-fold. You will regret this day, Alonzo!"


At midday the Junkyard was still abuzz with rumors. Munkustrap approached an idling Jemima (who he believed was Alonzo) and grabbed her by the shoulder brutally. He pulled her away from the spot where she had been sitting and towards a seclusive area.

"What the hell do you think you were doing, Alonzo?" The Jellicle Protector had a stern gaze directed at the black and white tom.

Jemima's mind drew a blank as she stuttered, "Uh..w-what?"

"You dragged poor Jemima out of her den while yelling and raging. I have eyewitnesses that say you dragged her off to some place and hit her, pushed her and insulted her. You did this all after knowing the poor calico has a crush on you", Munkustrap intoned. "You're like a brother to me, Alonzo, but I cannot accept the way you treated Jemima, a queen, like this. Alonzo, you should be ashamed of yourself. Don't you know how lucky you are to have such a beautiful and kind queen chase after you?"

I guess it really would seem like Alonzo had mistreated me. Jemima's devious mind began to calculate as she recalled her words earlier in the day.

"Everything you have done to me, I will return ten-fold. You will regret this day, Alonzo!"

"Oh Munkustrap", Jemima fell onto the tom's chest and began to sob weakly.

The Jellicle Protector was completely caught off guard at this and awkwardly patted Jemima's head, "Uhm, there there, Alonzo."

"I'm so sorry", Jemima sobbed, being quite the actress, "It's just that being around beautiful queens makes me insecure."

The two stayed like that for awhile until Jemima broke the silence, "Munkustrap, it's because..."

"Because what?"

"It's because...I think I'm gay", Jemima inwardly smirked.

The Jellicle Protector hurriedly pushed Alonzo (Jemima still) away in shock and sputtered, "You think you're gay?"

"Oh Munkustrap", she rushed forward in attempt to hug the striped tabby, "I don't know what to do. Will you accept me?"

Munkustrap yelped and ran off before she could even touch him.

When Jemima was confident that Munkustrap and all other Jellicles were out of earshot, she began to chuckle and sighed, "Oh, Alonzo, I always keep my word."


By night fall, it was Alonzo's turn to rage and seethe over words and actions not said or done by him, but causing his name to be tarnished all the same. When he did as Jemima had, and rushed to his own den, he was surprised to see Jemima inside the den playing with her own (Alonzo's) tail.

"Jemima, what is the meaning of this?"

Jemima looked up, her eyes hooded and whispered, "I'm here in your den."

"I noticed", Alonzo's voice had turned cold. "Why did you spread rumors about me?"

The black and white tom who was really Jemima stood up with indignation and huffed, "Why did you spread them about me?"

"I didn't", Alonzo protested, "I merely let the truth out."

"What truth? That I like you?" Jemima laughed with contempt, "Ha! As if I would ever like someone as self-centered, arrogant and immature as Alonzo the 'Great'".

"Well if you don't like me, you don't have to say it like that", Alonzo said loftily. "Alright I get it. I'm sorry, okay?"

Jemima snorted and answered, "Yeah, I'm sorry too. I'm sorry you're so blind to everyone and everything else."

"Still, Jemima", Alonzo confronted her. "Even if I was in the wrong, you still had no right to tell people that I am gay, something you know I'm not."

"Who knows? You act like it."

Alonzo grabbed her arm and pulled her to face him, "Jemima, two wrongs don't make a right."

"That first wrong doesn't make a right either, Alonzo", she spat in his face. "You seem to be placing the blame on me. I merely returned the favor, it's not so surprising is it?"

"Listen, since we switched bodies, it hasn't been easy for either of us", Alonzo shrugged. "We should be working together, not arguing and causing each other problems."

"You're right, and I second that thought. We should, but just because we should, doesn't mean we have to. From now on stay away from me and I'll stay away from you", Jemima glared. "Now that we've worked things out, please leave the den so I can pretend to be a certain pompous jerk-face."

The calico who was at heart, merely Alonzo, turned his glassy eyes away and said, "Very well, and I'll go back to the Queen's Den and pretend to be a certain unreasonable, yet very beautiful queen."

As Alonzo left, Jemima's heart stood still. I insulted him and refused his apology. Of course I was being unreasonable, but he wasn't much better before. Yet, he called me a beautiful queen.

"Why?"


Ending A/N: Thank you so much for reading this little ficcy. If you have any comments/questions/compliments/flames, please leave a review. :) I'd be very grateful for any input.