Title: Christine
Rating: K+ (Just in case)
Summary: In which Erik wishes.
Christine
Erik P.O.V.
My life had always been rather lonely. When I was a child, I knew nothing but pain and violence. As I grew older however I found something beautiful. A light in my darkness, if you will. Music. When I was in the freak show I would listen to the gypsies playing their fiddles and violins and for a moment, I could forget where I was. I could forget how horrible my life was and I could focus on the wonderful world the music was creating. I dreamed for so long of being able to play and even compose such beautiful sounds. Then came Antoinette.
Antoinette Deveroux saved me from my prison and took me to the most magical place I could have ever dreamed of. The Paris Opera House was the most strange yet beautiful place I had ever seen. I was overwhelmed by curiosity and wonder. I studied and perfects many a skill there, music among them. But still, my life felt empty. Of course Ann kept me company at first, but then she married Augustin Giry and left to have her perfect little family. I was alone for about a year when she came back, a child in her arms.
Ann was different then. She was no longer the loving young girl I once knew. She was now a twenty year old widow raising a little girl of her own. She was very strict with the younger ballerinas and seldom smiled. She was a completely different person. She no longer came to visit me. She was focused solely on ballet and nothing else. That's how it was for years, until one day she brought her home.
Christine Daae was an orphan of only seven years when she was brought to the Opera House. She was very shy at first and did not speak to anyone other than Ann and Meg for the first few weeks she was here. I did not pay much attention to her at first, after all what was a child to me? And then one fated day, I heard her sing. It was a beautiful song of mourning. But it was not beautiful because of the words, oh no. It was because of her voice. Who knew that a child so young could posses a voice so pure. After her song ended, she prayed.
'Oh, please send me my angel of music, father! I feel so alone. I miss you! Please!' she had cried. I had never heard someone speak in so much agony, so I spoke to her. I tried to convince myself I just felt sorry for the girl and that was the only reason I was masquerading as her angel. But I did not believe it. I was captivated by the lonely girl. So I taught her to sing. I taught her to appreciate music. I fell in love with her.
As she grew older I knew she would undoubtedly draw in suitors, but I did not worry. Her angel told her not to court. Christine Daae was a good girl and always obeyed her angel. Until the vicomte came along. I did not understand, how could she betray me? How could she leave me? The answer was so simple, I was surprised I had not thought of it before. I was a monster. How could someone as perfect and pure as Christine love a hideous monster like me? It was impossible.
If I had been born handsome, she would have loved me. If I had courted her properly, she would have loved me. If I was accepted among society, she would have loved me. But I am not, nor will I ever be any of those things. I am a monster. No, I am not a monster, I take that back. If I were a monster, I would have kept her with me despite her wanting to leave. If I were a monster she would be my wife, not the boys'! If I were a monster, her leaving would not tear me apart! If I were a monster, I would never have loved her at all.
Now, that I think about it, I wish I was a monster.
