Chapter 3 - The Staff Meeting Gone Bonkers
Professor Dumbledore studied his staff while they all waited for Snape. He'd called a full staff meeting immediately after breakfast, and the only one not able to be there from the start was Madame Pomfrey, having an examination to perform. Apparently, Ronald Weasley had fainted and she wanted to be sure he was all right before leaving him to attend some silly staff meeting. The door opened and a blushing Severus Snape entered followed by a woman strongly resembling an older version of Lily Potter.
"Severus..." the headmaster said before he noticed the woman.
"What is the meaning of this," Professor McGonagall demanded sharply.
The first to recognise the strange woman was Professor Slughorn. "Lily..." he said.
"Yes, I'm Lily Snape," the woman said, introducing herself while Snape rolled his eyes.
"Well, this is a staff meeting and you're not staff," Snape snorted.
"Oh Sevvie, please," she purred.
"Sevvie, please show Miss Snape out," Professor Dumbledore said with a chuckle.
Lily turned towards the headmaster. "Mrs Snape. And I won't leave my husband."
Bugger, this is getting worse by the minute. "Very well, but you must remain silent." Professor Dumbledore looked at his staff, trying to ignore the glares Snape fixed upon him.
"What is the situation," he asked.
"We all saw the two Harry Potters and the two Ginevra Weasleys, but I believe I saw what might possibly be a third Harry Potter kissing Miss Romilda Vane," Professor McGonagall said matter-of-factly. Strange goings-on were nothing new at the school, but this latest was a contender for the top spot on the list of whacked-out mysteries in the castle.
"I'm stalked by this...woman..." Snape said dryly "And I suggest that Mr Potter and Miss Granger, who both are most certainly involved, receive severe punishment for this frivolous behaviour."
"Miss Granger," Professor Vector asked, failing to see the logic in Snape's reasoning.
"Potter's clearly involved, but if it's something as complex as this, Granger is too," Snape huffed.
"But he's not snogging Miss Granger, eh... Filius..." Professor Dumbledore chuckled to Professor Flitwick in an attempt to make him nervous about their bet. "In fact I haven't seen Miss Granger all day."
"Don't count your Sickles yet, Albus," Professor Flitwick hissed. "Clearly, we need this situation resolved before we can be sure exactly who is involved with who. Checking Minerva McGonagall's expression, the two professors realised they'd stuck their collective foot in their collective mouth.
"Now, what is that about," Minerva asked sharply in a way that made Professor Dumbledore feel like a student busted pulling pranks. "Well...it's nothing really...yet...only a pool going on. I bet an innocent Sickle on Harry getting together with Miss Weasley while Filius bet on him getting together with Miss Granger."
"Albus," she said sharply.
"Really, Minerva, it's just for fun and we don't interfere or try to influence them in any way," Professor Flitwick assured her.
The rest of the staff looked at the three of them. "Why in Merlin's name haven't you two invited the rest of us into that pool," Professor McGonagall asked, surprising them all.
Professor Dumbledore had prepared himself for the onslaught when Minerva McGonagall would lecture him about proper behaviour, being a role model, but this. She wanted to place a bet?
"Minerva, really..." Professor Sprout huffed.
"Pomona, please. It sounds like fun as long as we keep it to ourselves. And we can still act like we're having wands shoved up our bums in class."
Pomona was too gob-smacked to reply. The rest of the staff were either shocked hearing the usually-strict professor speaking like that or nodding in agreement.
"I'd prefer a pool about who'll be next to be expelled," Mr Filch muttered.
"I'm in," Snape quickly said supporting that idea.
"Please, professors. We're drifting off-topic," Professor Dumbledore pleaded with raised hands when the door opened.
Professor McGonagall entered and looked troubled. "I'm awfully sorry I'm late. I had to check up on Mr Weasley, who landed himself in the hospital wing. Poppy's still examining him and will be here once she's finished."
Her colleagues stared at her in utter disbelief. "Now there's the Minerva I know," Professor Sprout declared and turned to the Professor McGonagall ready to place bets. "Who are you, madame?"
Professor McGonagall looked at what appeared to be her identical twin sister. "Oh no..." she said. "There are duplicates of several persons, I believe. It appears I have one too. Albus?"
Professor Dumbledore thought for a moment how he'd present the situation without revealing him being the one causing it. "It appears that subconscious or unconscious desires have begun to manifest themselves. As we've seen, there are several female students currently having...a Harry..." Professor Dumbledore began.
"Are you saying it's my desire having her as Mrs Snape," Snape spat, pointing to Lily.
Professor McGonagall hadn't noticed Lily until now. "Come now, Severus. It's the worst-kept secret in the school that you've harboured feelings for Lily Evans Potter since you, yourself, was a student here. We just never speak of it," Professor McGonagall chided him.
"One must wonder what part of you desires to wager against the relationships in the student body of Hogwarts," Snape snorted back.
Professors Flitwick and Dumbledore blushed as they saw the reaction in the strict Scottish professor.
"I. Would. Certainly. Not," she said slowly.
"But she would," Snape said triumphantly pointing at the other Professor McGonagall.
"Loosen up, Minnie," she said. "It's a funny little thing Filus and Albus are running. Perfectly harmless. Albus has his bet on Harry and Ginevra, while Filius wagered for Harry and Hermione. What's your bet McG?"
Professor Dumbledore relaxed as the piercing gaze of the Transfiguration professor shot daggers at her alter-ego, rather than at him or Professor Flitwick. Soon she turned to the headmaster again.
"You're claiming she represents some desire within me," Professor McGonagall spat sarcastically.
Professor Dumbledore wasn't ready to take on that discussion. "What we need to focus on is what happened and how to solve it," he suggested.
Mr Filch cleared his throat. "I say it was that pesky poltergeist, Peeves! See, I headed up ter investigate a ruddy loud noise in the North Tower yesterday evenin'. Some ruddy thing almost killed me falling down the stairs. I firs' checked the top o' the stairs, n' later the bottom an' there was scorch marks. Believe me, the walls of Hogwarts need somethin' a lot more powerful than a normal fire to get scorched. Something weird's goin' on. I don't have proof against Peeves...yet, but I'll have it," the caretaker explained.
"How about we all examine the North Tower stairs," Professor McGonagall suggested.
Professor Dumbledore agreed.
"What about her," Snape nodded towards Lily.
"Well, in case we need potions, I know she's quite talented, right Minnie," the other Professor McGonagall grinned, but was ignored by Minnie.
Professor Dumbledore sighed. "Let's go," he grunted.
Snape moaned.
"If any of you ever call me Minnie or McG..." Professor McGonagall said sharply, glaring primarily at her doppelganger as they all left the staff room "... I'll transfigure you into Pixies."
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Ron woke up and found himself in the hospital wing. He didn't have a clue what had happened, except that he vaguely recalled catching his best friend snogging Cho and Ginny... at the same time.
Madame Pomfrey approached his bedside, as if she had some kind of kind of internal alarm to alert her to the moment an unconscious student awoke. "How are you feeling, Mr Weasley?"
"Confused," he said weakly.
"I can understand that. I take it you met more than one Harry Potter," the matron assumed.
"You could say that," Ron answered, not feeling it necessary to point out that the Harrys he'd seen were hitting on two different girls, one of whom one was his sister.
"We know of two, possibly three, Potters so far, and two Ginny Weasleys by the way. I also noticed a rather peculiar issue of the Daily Prophet clutched in your hand Mr Weasley."
Ron remembered the front page with him in the headlines and nodded.
"It wasn't today's issue," he asked.
"Good heavens, no," the matron said and gave him a Daily Prophet. The headline was about the Wizengamot proceedings of yesterday. "If you feel all right, you're free to leave whenever you want to, Mr Weasley," Madame Pomfrey said. "I'm due for a staff meeting where some of this mess might be straightened out."
Ron compared the two papers and tossed the one with his headline. Now, where was the real Harry, if there indeed were three of them? And by Merlin, if the real Harry was snogging his real sister...
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The staff, joined by Madame Pomfrey, gathered at the stairs leading up to the North Tower. Like the night before, any detection spells caused their wands to heat up.
"This is most troubling," Professor Flitwick squeaked. "The residual magical trace is so strong, our wands can't take it. Whichever object nearly mangled Mr Filch last evening must've been an extremely powerful one."
"I feel so much better knowin' it wasn't a non-magical bookcase," Mr Filch sneered.
The staff climbed the stairs to the top, where they found a peculiar device hanging by the opening to the attic.
"What is that," Professor Sprout asked.
"That, Pomona, is a block and tackle device," Professor Burbage explained. "It's what Muggles call a simple machine used to lift heavy objects. They use it in place of a levitation spell."
"Very interesting," the wise Head of Ravenclaw uttered. "I'd say the magical object was either hoisted up to, or lowered down from the attic above. Whoever is responsible must've known the dangers involved in handling powerful magical objects. Putting a levitation spell on such objects can cause...potentially dangerous side-effects, but I think even underachievers like those Trolls, Crabbe and Goyle, might know that."
"You seem to have given this a lot of thought, Filius," Snape commented.
"I'm merely trying to draw conclusions from what we already know. Argus says he heard someone up here. Said someone must've known both about Muggle and magical devices. Obviously, something went wrong and the object fell, nearly crushing our caretaker, and was subsequently destroyed further down the stairs," Professor Flitwick summarised.
"It doesn't sound like Peeves," Professor Sinistra said.
"I agree," Professor Sprout added.
"Argus also says the stairwell was empty when he arrived up here," Professor Flitwick continued. "That suggests that the person who was here must've concealed himself or herself, or obliviated Argus before his or her escape."
"You're saying, then, that the person who did this is a witch or wizard," Professor McGonagall asked for clarification.
"Precisely," Professor Flitwick confirmed. "And the knowledge necessary suggests someone at NEWT-level...or one of us on the staff."
Madame Pomfrey gasped at the Charms professor's conclusion.
"I'll bet it's Potter," Snape sneered. "I suggest we check his wand and interrogate him under Veritaserum."
"Now, let's not jump to conclusions, Severus," Professor Dumbledore chided his Potions Master.
"Well, there are duplicates of Potter, Miss Weasley, and a fainted Mr Weasley. And I nobody's seen Miss Granger today. She certainly has the knowledge. Along with Potter and Weasley, they have the nerve to pull off something like this," Snape argued.
"Severus, there are other people affected too. Argus was the one closest to...whatever happened downstairs and is not affected," Professor Dumbledore reminded him.
"Albus is right. We can't jump to the conclusion that the people affected have broken any rules," Professor Flitwick agreed. "Such a conclusion would make Minerva and you, Severus, Potter's, Weasley's and Granger's accomplices."
Only a snort was heard from the Potions professor, who clearly gave up his attempts to blame Harry Potter. There was little more to be done there, so Dumbledore told the Heads of House to make sure everyone gathered for lunch in the Great Hall. He needed to speak to the school. That said, the staff dispersed and went their separate ways to gather their students for lunch. Professor Slughorn approached professor Dumbledore.
"So, can I place a bet," Slughorn asked the headmaster. "A Sickle on Miss Ganger and Mr Weasley."
With a grin, Professor Dumbledore nodded. "You have yourself a bet, Horace." Mr Weasley and Miss Granger indeed. The old man chuckled and made his way to his office and then to the Great Hall.
