A/N: Hey, hi, hello! I'm pleased to report that this chapter is a much more reasonable length! Let me know what you think! xo
Shea hated mornings. Even though she had been waking up alone for as long as Bryan had been in the military and her dad had his early morning construction jobs, morning's silence still made her uneasy. It was like every day started by reminding her she was alone.
At least: alone physically. That was one of the reasons she felt so attached to her phone. When she checked her messages, Shea clearly saw that people loved her. Priya, who was spending the weekend on a last-minute family vacation at the beach and was already epically sunburned. Sam, who was (as per usual) hungover and swearing up and down that he wouldn't drink as much ever again. Her dad, who wrote a kind message about how he missed her and hoped she was being safe and having a good weekend. Accompanying those messages was a fairly new name that Shea loved seeing sprawled across her screen.
Even though it was closer to noon than it was daybreak, Rodrick wrote, "good morning!"
Shea knew he was just being kind by saying something so simple and typical, but kindness soothed the loneliness in her heart. She tried not to take other people's kindness for granted, especially in a world that dealt her such a lonely hand. She liked to think this is what made her such a loyal friend; such a hopeless romantic; such a perpetual optimist. Otherwise, she would drown in her own loneliness.
Shea replied, "moooooorning :)"
As predicted, Rodrick was late getting home last night. But just as his mother was about to tear into him, as should have been predicted, Rowley spilled the beans about exactly where they had been and what they had been doing.
"He had to say good night to his girlfriend!" Rodrick mimicked Rowley's nervous, squeaky voice over the phone.
Shea tried to empathize with Rodrick's annoyance, especially when he much rather would have been yelled at than have his mother involved in such a new part of his life, but she couldn't help but feel giddy about her title.
She managed to hide her enthusiasm when she asked, "What did your mom say?"
"I don't think she believed him," he explained, "She wanted to know why I didn't tell her, so I said I didn't know if it was gonna work, it was just a first date, we barely knew each other. By then Greg and Rowley had run upstairs so they couldn't back me up."
"She thinks I'm an invention to keep you from getting grounded?" Shea laughed.
She could hear the smile in Rodrick's voice, "Exactly. I'm, uh, pretty good at lying, so…"
"Did you get grounded?"
"No. She actually let me go and just said don't do it again. But I have a feeling she's gonna want some proof soon."
Shea didn't mind proving her own existence, but she wondered how his mother would react to meeting her: a short, awkward girl with a partially-shaved head, septum ring, belly ring, tattoo, and shady past. She wasn't typical, Mom-approved, girlfriend material. But this wasn't the 50s anymore, and girls were as many and varied as could be. Even though their house resembled a suburban dreamland, Shea hoped the Heffleys were a little more progressive and understanding than she anticipated.
"u remember how i said my mom would want proof?" Rodrick typed.
"yeah…"
"u wanna come to the pool with us today? lol"
Shea was normally not self-conscious, but meeting his parents in a tiny bikini made her stomach clench. On the other hand, if she unveiled the freak show she was right up front, sort of like ripping off a band-aid, their relationship could only improve.
After hesitating, she asked, "what time?"
"my parents are going over at 12 but i'm bringing the van so whenever you can get here i guess."
Her heart beat so hard in her chest she thought it might burst. Shea was bad at feelings, though, and joked, "I'll bring my skimpiest bikini and foulest words will your mother approve?"
"no but i will lol ;)"
Shea smirked and then dropped her phone on the bed next to her. Well, she figured, it was now or never.
Despite physically getting out of bed at 11:30, Shea arrived at the Heffley house an hour later. She had picked out her blue polka dot bikini with a strapless top, combed her hair back so her shaved part was exposed, and wore a plaid button down to cover up her belly ring and tattoo. She figured she could scare his parents slowly, and then all at once.
Rodrick answered the door almost as soon as she knocked, accompanied by a small Goldendoodle who was yapping excitedly at the sight of new company. Rodrick quickly grabbed the dog's collar to keep him from jumping, but the little dog bounced beneath his grip.
"Sweetie, stop!" he snapped, but Sweetie whined and paced at Rodrick's feet.
Shea was an absolute sucker for animals, especially fuzzy dogs. Priya had two little Cocker Spaniels that slept on top of her whenever she stayed over. She never had any pets growing up, so she lived vicariously through other people's animal ownership.
She cupped Sweetie's head and furiously pet him. "That face!" she cooed, and Sweetie panted with excitement.
Rodrick released Sweetie once Shea crossed the threshold and closed the door; the dog happily ran laps around the house. Shea suddenly realized she had never seen Rodrick in the daylight—but to her relief, the sun brightened his features and lit his smile. His skin, pale in the nighttime, was a honey tan and contrasted against Shea's snow white complexion. Shea latched onto her boyfriend's torso and squeezed him tight, her anxiety soothed by his touch. Rodrick responded in kind, until she felt like he was crushing her organs.
"Okay, can't breathe," she wheezed.
Rodrick released her and smiled, abashed. "Hey."
She grinned, feeling her cheeks redden. "Hey."
Again, the daytime strangeness crept beneath Shea's skin. At night, she was stronger and more confident. But during the day, she struggled for words that should have come naturally. The sun made her feel exposed; Shea thrived in the moonlight.
"Should we go?" Shea asked. The weight of her pool bag cut into her shoulders, and she was suddenly very aware of everything: how she was standing, how exposed she was going to be in front of his parents, how dumb she felt about not thinking this situation more through.
"Not yet," Rodrick said, and fell onto the couch in front of the television.
It was strange to see the living room arranged to Mrs. Heffley's perfection, instead of Rodrick's party mode. The walls seemed livelier and much more proper without the Christmas lights strung across the ceiling, or the plastic red cups lining the fireplace mantle. The party was only a week ago, but it felt like it was in a different universe.
Before Shea could ask why not, Greg and Rowley came bounding down the stairs.
"I heard the door, was that…?" Greg asked hurriedly. His eyes found Shea, and his smile dimmed. "Oh, it's just you, Shea."
"Just me?" Shea scoffed. She felt most comfortable in sarcasm, so she continued, "You should be glad to see me! I'm great!"
Greg rolled his eyes, but Rowley grinned kindly. "I'm glad to see you, Shea."
She smirked. "Good. So who were you expecting?"
"Holly Hills," Rodrick said from the couch. His arms were propped behind him as an impromptu pillow, his eyes closed.
Greg's face reddened. "Yeah, Holly."
"Precious," Shea teased.
"She should be here any—"
The doorbell cut Greg short. He nearly leapt for the door, and opened it to reveal a small, pretty blonde haired girl with a kind smile. Shea thought Holly Hills looked exactly like the kind of girl Greg would be into: normal, beautiful, and safe. Of course, she had to have a personality lurking beneath those blonde waves, but something about how much like a girl she looked threatened Shea, and she wasn't sure why. Perhaps it was because she had spent her whole life in an alternative state of being, that when people were as they were expected—normal, by societal standards—she found it strange and unnerving.
"Holly! Hey, how's it going?" he said coolly, like he wasn't just panicking two seconds earlier. Shea thought she could hear Rodrick rolling his eyes.
"Good. Sorry I'm late, Heather was having a meltdown because her favorite sandal tore," Holly said acidly, sighing. "I swear, sometimes she's just too much."
"S'okay," Greg said. "Shea just got here too, so…"
"Oh!" Holly said apologetically, looking at Shea, "I'm sorry, I didn't see you there, I'm…"
"Holly, Shea," Shea said, pointing at herself and then the new girl. "Not a big deal. It's good to meet you."
"You, too," the blonde girl smiled kindly. Shea felt her initial, admittedly irrational dislike for Holly begin to melt away, until the petite girl asked, "So, are you related to Greg, or…"
Rowley laughed uproariously. "They don't look anything alike! She's Rodrick's girlfriend."
Girlfriend. The word still rustled the butterflies in her stomach. Holly's face puckered with surprise, so Shea joked, "His performance at your sister's party really wooed me."
"Were you there?" Holly asked. "She invited everyone, and now thanks to Loded Diper, everyone is talking about it…"
Rodrick grunted, but Shea ignored him. "No, unfortunately Heather didn't think I was worthy enough to attend."
"If it makes you feel any better, she didn't want me there either," she empathized. "It was a total nightmare. I was going to go crazy if I had to listen to another week of her talking about dress code and the menu and decorations… ugh!"
Shea could see why Greg liked Holly, but wondered why Rodrick would ever like a girl like Heather Hills. Shea knew from working at the country club that Heather was beautiful, but her greedy, selfish attitude was not.
Rodrick rose from the couch, seemingly unaffected by the conversation at hand. He urged, "We should get going."
"Okay," the kids choired. Greg and Holly shared a bashful glance, and awkwardly stepped around the front door to see who would get out first. Rowley took their hesitation as an invitation, and stepped outside first, followed by the other two. Sweetie ran to the front door, barking excitedly after them. Shea grabbed his collar to stop him from running out, causing her bag to slump from her shoulder to the ground.
"Thanks for grabbing the dog," Rodrick yelled from the kitchen, where he was retrieving his own beach bag.
Shea shut the front door and released Sweetie, who immediately bolted into the kitchen. She thought it must be nice to be a dog: run around like a total maniac and still have people love you.
Rodrick reemerged and walked up to Shea. She thought he might kiss her, but instead he picked up her bag and hoisted it over his shoulder. Then, quickly, he leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers.
"Are you sure?" Shea asked nervously. She knew the weight of her bag wasn't much, but felt bad that he took it from her.
"No problem," he said coolly.
Shea panicked for an answer, but her tongue seemed to know what to say. "What a gentleman!" she feigned admiration.
Rodrick smiled. "You don't know me that well, yet."
She teased, feeling a little more at ease, "Bad boys don't carry their girlfriends' bags."
He shrugged. "You're an exception."
"To what?"
"The bad boy code of honor."
Shea laughed. "Oh yeah?"
"Yeah," he said, "I like you."
Her stomach felt like worms were wriggling inside. "I like you too."
They stood, staring at each other. It was remarkable that Shea felt such a magnetic connection to a person this soon into a new relationship. She thought it was odd how he could calm her, and then make her so nervous, all at the same time. But that was the fun of a new relationship: the butterflies and the jittery heart and the ache that came from missing them after spending all day with them.
Rodrick finally said, breaking her trance, "Glad we established that."
"Me too." She walked towards the front door, careful to step around a jumping and yappy Sweetie. "Now let's go!"
The pool was teeming with screaming small children and exhausted looking parents. Since it was the last weekend before school resumed on Monday, it seemed like the entire town was packed into the small public pool. Shea grimaced at the sight of bodies bobbing in the pool water—she thought she could step across the heads to get from one side of the pool to the other. It made her miss her job at the country club, where she had free pool access. Of course, those privileges vanished with her quitting for school, so she would have to wait the whole school year before wading in an empty pool.
Greg, Rowley, and Holly ran ahead to the Heffley family, who were perched in the corner of the pool picnic area. Shea felt her heart begin to race; she was normally not a nervous person around new people, but she didn't want to make a bad impression on his parents.
Rodrick grabbed her hand and intertwined their fingers. He said encouragingly, "Let's get this over with."
Shea tried to smile, but her mouth felt frozen.
The walk to his parents seemed to take forever. His mother, a fair woman with long, dark hair and big sunglasses, was holding a young boy with copper hair and talking with Greg and his friends. His dad, a man with a square face and light brown hair, was engrossed in a Civil War book, his feet propped up on the edge of the bench where his mother sat.
"Hey," Rodrick said plainly once they had approached the table. "We're here."
Shea thought her heart was going to stop, so she squeezed his hand.
"Hey, Rodrick," his mom said dismissively. When she looked up, though, her face lit up. "Oh, hello! You must be Rodrick's girlfriend. I'm Susan!"
Susan placed Manny on the ground, and the boy ran over to Greg, and followed them to the other side of the pool. Susan turned to Rodrick's dad, and said, "Frank, say hello to…"
"Shea," she answered, feeling a little relieved that his mother was as kind as she looked. "Shea Baker."
Susan's jaw dropped. She and Frank exchanged knowing looks before she exclaimed, "Marlee's girl?"
Shea raised her eyebrow. She hated it when people knew her, she didn't know them: she didn't know if they knew only bad things, good things, or a mix of both.
"Uh, yeah," she stammered.
Susan pat the empty spot on the bench next to her, and Shea cautiously sat down. Rodrick stood, his arms crossed, looking bored.
"I knew your mother," Susan explained, "We were really good friends when you and Rodrick were in elementary school. You used to come over to our house all the time when you were really little and you guys would play and laugh and…"
"Mom," Rodrick said sharply.
"Sorry!" she held up her hands. "It's just sort of funny, huh? I remember when your mother moved away. She used to worry so much about you and your brother. Gosh, it seems like forever ago. I remember the divorce, and when she called me about your hospital stay…"
"What?" Rodrick asked.
Shea's blood turned to ice. "Yeah," she said nervously, "I think I remember my mom talking about her friend Susan."
Susan smiled brightly. "Oh, good! How is she? We still keep in touch, but not that often anymore. She's in Maryland, right?"
"Right," Shea said. She relaxed a little now that the conversation was moving away from the one topic she absolutely did not want to discuss. "She works in the admissions office at Towson. She's got two boys now—six and four."
"Oh, admissions!" Susan said excitedly. "Are you gonna go to college there?"
Shea would be lying if she said she hadn't considered it, but she didn't think much about college. She liked to live life in the moment; she also didn't like to think about leaving her friends behind. "Uh, I'm not sure. I don't know what I wanna do with my life."
"You've got plenty of time," Rodrick's mom said reassuringly. She turned again to Frank, and said, "Frank, how funny, after all this time…"
"Yeah," Frank said. He pointed to his nose, and teased, "Although I don't remember the ring."
Shea's face reddened. "I got it on my sixteenth birthday. My belly's done, too," she blathered. "I think my dad was just glad it wasn't a tattoo. But, uh…" she trailed off.
"You're so like Marlee," Susan said. Frank smirked and went back to his book. "Do you want anything for lunch?"
Rodrick groaned. Susan stood, and walked around to the cooler on the other side of the bench. She wondered, "What?"
"I thought twenty questions was over with," he muttered.
Susan ignored him, "Shea, I've got hot dogs, hamburgers, chips…"
"I, uh," Shea's face burned. She'd just realized this hadn't come up in conversation, but she felt bad making his parents make special exceptions for her. "I don't eat meat."
Rodrick balked, "Not even bacon?"
"I don't like bacon," she said, embarrassed.
"But it's bacon," he argued, sitting in the spot next to her.
Shea shrugged. "Sorry."
"I have pasta salad," Susan said, pulling a Tupperware out of the cooler.
Frank asked, not looking up from his book, "Doesn't that have bacon in it?"
Rodrick smiled at Shea in an "I told you so" kind of look, but Susan said, "No, for once, I brought the bacon bits on the side. It's like fate knew you were coming, Shea."
"Or you couldn't find the bacon bits in time to add them to the salad," Frank said under his breath.
"What do you think, sweetie? Are you hungry?"
"Um, yeah," Shea said, even though she wasn't very hungry. "Thank you."
Susan dug a fork out of a nearby shopping bag and handed Shea the Tupperware. To Rodrick, she asked, "Hamburger, right?"
"Yeah, thanks."
While Susan assembled the hamburger, Shea could hear her muttering about calling her old friend Marlee. Shea made a mental note to beat her to that.
Even though Rodrick made a big show about being a punk rock bad boy, Shea thought that he was awfully suburban. He might have snapped at his mother, but he said thank you when his mom handed him his meal, and ate slowly and politely. He held Shea's hand when she was nervous, and joked with her when she wasn't. Suburban was not her usual type, but Shea had dated enough self-proclaimed bad boys for a lifetime.
Shea slowly began to relax once his mother had officially finished grilling her. When they were just sitting together, making conversation, she was surprised by how much she enjoyed herself. The Heffleys, perhaps a little eccentric, were a normal family who loved and cared about each other. Shea loved the camaraderie, and hoped she would fit into the picture.
"So how did you guys meet?" Frank asked once they had finished their food.
"Oh, yeah!" Susan exclaimed. "Good question."
Luckily, Shea had anticipated this question. She answered, "Through Ben. Ben's been telling me about his friend Rodrick for forever—"
Rodrick cut her off, "And Ben would never shut up about Shea."
Shea smiled. She imagined Ben nagging Rodrick about meeting his cute friend, the same way Ben had continually mentioned him to Shea.
"So we finally all hung out together and hit it off," she ended finally, leaving out the vodka, almost kiss, and cops.
"That's so nice," Susan cooed. "You don't go to Westmore, do you, Shea?"
She shook her head. "No, I haven't been since we moved."
"Right," his mother nodded knowingly. "Well, Plainview and Westmore aren't that far apart. And your schools do the senior Olympics at the end of the year."
Plainview and Westmore High were sister schools, so they usually did a few events together, including the Prom and senior Olympics. Shea had been looking forward to competing against Priya in a few events, but now she wondered what she could beat Rodrick at.
"I'm looking forward to kicking your butt at floor hockey," he teased her.
Shea rolled her eyes. "I guess we'll see in May."
When she got home that night, the first thing Shea did was dial her mother's cell phone.
It was almost eleven at night, which was, as Shea learned when his mother kindly but aggressively reminded him, Rodrick's curfew. They both smiled sadly at each other, and kissed for so long Shea almost lost her breath, but she knew she would see him again soon enough. The drive from his house to her apartment was almost 20 minutes, but missing him made it feel like hours.
As her mom's phone rang, Shea ran into her dad's bedroom and raided his bookshelf for photo albums. Her dad's room was the plainest in their dull apartment—no photos, no decorations… just a beige wall with a navy blue comforter and alarm clock from the 80s. Shea's mom got most of the photos—and most of the stuff—in the divorce ("so I can always look at you!" Marlee had said, but Shea thought her mom just liked winning), so she was glad to find a small album of Shea in the age range she was looking for: preschool.
She had just started flipping through photos of toddler Shea with thick, brunette bangs and a big, toothy grin when her mom answered, sounding far too awake for the time of night, "Hey, you! How's it going? I've missed you."
"Hey," Shea said calmly. She turned the page and her heart stopped: a much younger Susan stood next to Marlee, both smiling candidly at the camera. "Were you friends with a Susan Heffley?"
Her mother didn't miss a beat. "Yeah, Susan! We were really good friends! We used to do the PTA together. You and her oldest boy used to play together when you were really little… Oh, what was his name?"
"Rodrick," Shea supplied. She turned another page and saw four-year-old Shea in a flowery sundress standing next to a dark-haired boy in shorts and a soccer shirt. She pulled the photo from its case and read "Shea and Rodrick, 4 yrs". Her heart hammered in her chest and her ears rang. "Guess what?"
"What?" Marlee said eagerly. Even though she and her mother didn't talk that often, Shea always appreciated that her mother sounded so excited to hear what she had to say.
"Rodrick's my boyfriend," Shea said, smiling. She held the photo in her hands; the thought that she and Rodrick had a history, no matter how minor and how long ago, warmed her heart.
Marlee barked a laugh. "No way! Oh my god, what did Susan say? I have to call her."
"I think she was just surprised to see it was me," she explained, "She didn't recognize me at all."
"Well, you look a little different now than when you were four! Are she and Frank still together? And how old is Greg now?"
"Yes, and I think he's 13. She has another little boy, Manny, who's four."
Her mother guffawed. "Funny how things change. She always said after Greg no more kids. Guess that didn't happen."
Shea suddenly remembered all the promises her mother once made her—I'll call you once a day; you'll come visit me every other holiday; even though I'm a thousand miles away, it will be like I never left—and she grimaced.
"Yeah, funny."
"There should be photos in your dad's room," Marlee continued, unaware of Shea's sudden tone change. "Not many; I took most of them. But a few of you and little Ricky."
"Rodrick," she corrected.
"Right," her mom said dismissively. "Well, I'm glad to hear you're doing well, sweetie. I miss you."
"I miss you too," Shea said, but as soon as the words left her mouth, she knew they weren't true. She and her mother had a complicated relationship that she spent hours discussing in a therapist's office when she was a young teen. She now knew how to cope, but not quite how to forgive her for abandoning her when she needed her most.
"Well, it's getting late," Marlee said, faking a yawn. "I'll call you tomorrow, and we can really catch up, okay?"
Shea knew better than to get her hopes up for that. More likely, Shea would spend all day waiting for her phone to ring. When she got fed up and called her mom, Marlee would make excuses like, "Oh shoot, it's getting close to dinner… I'm out with the boys… Can I call you later? We'll talk then."
"Yeah, sure," Shea said instead. Sometimes keeping with the same song and dance was the most comfortable thing to do.
"Good night. Love you!"
"Night."
Shea dropped her phone on the bed. She tried to simultaneously drop the disappointed feeling the conversation gave her, but she couldn't shake it. She flipped another page in the photo album, and found a few more candid photos of her and Rodrick smiling, playing, or posing with their parents. She was relieved not to find anything embarrassing, like a bathtub photo.
Shea placed the photo of her and Rodrick on her dad's comforter and took a photo of it. The quality wasn't superb, but it was clear who the two people in the picture were. She sent it to Rodrick with the caption, "Look at these two cuties!"
Rodrick replied almost right away, "wow i was fucking adorable"
Shea rolled her eyes. "yeah what happened?"
"thems fightin words!"
She closed her eyes and flopped onto her back, her dad's mattress bouncing against her weight. As she lay, quiet, her anxiety slowly melted away. Even though she had only known him for a week, Rodrick seemed to have that effect on her. Priya would say it's because the relationship was new and exciting, and she liked having something to focus her attention on.
Shea typed, "I miss u dude."
He replied, "I miss u too 3"
