It has been at least four months since the Cullens left. The official story that's going around town is that Dr. Cullen had been offered a job in Los Angeles and that they had needed him badly so he took it. Los Angeles? Yeah, right. Oh, well. I really don't give a damn about them anymore and neither do the La Push boys, apparently. They had a bonfire after the Cullens left so I figure they had been celebrating their departure. The police chief, apparently, wasn't happy about it since he got a couple of complaints about it.

And speaking of the La Push boys, after I had fallen asleep in the woods, a couple of them had been hiking in that area and found me snoozing. One of them, who I later found out was Sam Uley, had picked me up and kept me warm as they took me home. Billy Black had told them where I live so that's how they knew where to take me...and that's another reason why I'm doubling down on my training. I hadn't picked up on the boys' presence in the area. I must have been really exhausted but that's no excuse to be falling down on the job. I take my training very seriously and if I feel that improvements are necessary then I will train, sometimes for days at a time.

I almost had panic attack not too long ago, which very rarely happens, but it was not from being abandoned, surprisingly, which is one of my triggers when I do have one. No. The trigger, this time, happened to be a nightmare I had with James in it. In my nightmare, Edward and I are together in our meadow, holding each other, before James comes from behind Edward and kills him. Afterwards, I'm left at his mercy. I can still hear his voice as he purrs in delight at me being left alone. I have no access to my power stick. He incapacitates me by breaking my leg, all the while as he inhales my scent.

"You'll make a lovely addition to my coven."

In my dream, he bites me in three places. He bites me in my wrist, my neck and my thigh and he's taunting me as he bites me. No more Edward to save me, he says. I'm at his mercy, now. Abandoned, all alone and...all his. It's this last part where he digs his teeth into my thigh. It's a sexual representation of his intention of making me his mate. I'm sure that if he had destroyed the Cullens, and turned me into a vampire, he would have made the most of the word 'mate.' The very thought of it makes my blood boil.

I stayed in Tokyo for a little while to see if I could ease my pain and it was there that I took on some youma on my own. I didn't waste anytime with corny introductions. All I did was chop their heads off in one fell swoop. I had no sympathy for the enemies that came my way. I merely executed them without a thought. This concerned my ghostly friends. I told them that I was fine and that they need not to worry about me. Of course, Venus didn't buy my bullshit and neither did Usagi.

"It's like losing Takuya all over again, Venus," I told her. "Only this time, he chose to leave."

Mars and Jupiter entered the conversation and wished that they could make his life miserable. It was nice to talk to them about it. It hurts, yes, but I can go on without him just fine. I spent several centuries of my immortal life without a man. I will reclaim my independence and live my life as I originally intended. I don't need a man in my life.


"Argh! Fuck it! This just won't do at all!"

I'm tired of having no one else to visit. I suppose that's my own fault but most of the students here are so superficial that it's painful to be friends with. Angela is the only one that I hang out with these days but she has Ben to think about as well so I can't really monopolize her time, either. She has a life to live, too, so who else can I hang out with? Sometimes, being solitary can be a boon but, again, that's a personal choice and it's a choice that I prefer most of the time.

You seem to forget I'm here. Circe whines.

As I'm thinking about it, I look at a pair of bikes that I picked up from a kid recently and it suddenly hits me. Jacob could probably use these for another one of his projects. It'll give me an excuse to see him. I know I might see Billy over there and, quite frankly, I really don't give a damn. He got what he wanted so there should be no reason for him to remind me of it. I sigh and head out the door to my truck.

I recently bought a good, solid truck and I'm glad I did. I load the bikes up and strap them down before I head over to Jacob's place. I really don't need directions since I can very easily track down his beautiful aura. As soon as I park my truck, his head pokes out of his house and stares curiously before he sees me. His warm, goofy smile simply makes my day far more bearable and makes it easier for me to smile. I'm kind of scared that he'll leave, too, and abandon me. I sigh and push that thought aside. I'm not going to ruin my visit with Jacob.

Quite a handsome boy.

"Hey, Jacob!" I greet him. "Wow! You're a giant!"

"Six-five, almost six-six." He says with a grin.

"You're still lanky, though."

"Genetics."

Billy greets me at the door with a kind smile, which surprises me, but it's hard not to return it. I'm somewhat at ease and it feels good. We speak congenially for a little bit before I tell him my purpose for my visit, which is to see Jacob. I'm pretty sure that his smile on his face hurt him. He's smiling so big. It's kind of cute, really. The old man invites me to stay for dinner, which I accept. Maybe today won't be so bad after all.