"We gotta do something."
I don't like the sound of that. Kitty is staring at the tv, her fists balled up so tightly they might as well be white.
"We aren't doing anything." I reach over, and pry her fingers apart. "Calm down there ain't nothin' we can do."
"Scott Summers, revolutionary," she mutters. And it really is a strange sight to see Cyclops on the tube acting like he's starting some kinda rebellion. He used to always be the voice of reason when he was on the tv, but that was before things got so bad. It's even stranger to see Logan out there with him. It's a bad idea. A real bad idea. But it sounds like something they'd do. Kitty and I never crossed paths before we met on the train. But we both knew Logan. Seems like everyone knew Logan.
I can see the fire sparking in Kitty's eyes and I ain't sure I can put it out. It scares the shit out of me. We been living together for a few months now, and I've gotten used it. It's easier. Two to share the load, and both of us look normal so it ain't like we're gonna get rounded up and put in The Pit as long as we're real careful. "Kitty…"
She looks over at me, then down at where I'm still holding her hands. "Those are our friends out there. I thought some of them were dead. And…" She lowers her head. "I don't know if I can sit here like a coward. I came back to the states to help. I just..."
"Nothin' ya can do, sugar. Come here." I pull her over and into my arms. Kitty moves her head, careful to avoid skin contact. Having her so close is always like torture. I can't touch her. And I want to so so bad. But she says it doesn't bother her, that with toys and scarves and other things we can still get all intimate. 'Course when she says stuff like that I turn all kinda red and then she looks at me like she's a cat and I'm her canary.
I want to zap her when she says that. To see if she's lying. But I just have to trust her. Trust her to tell me when it does bother her. Trust her to not take off when she gets tired of not being able to feel my skin. Now I gotta trust her not to go and do something stupid without me. Least she can do is let me take part in the stupid.
"What are we going to do?" She asks, suddenly. I pull my head back and look at her.
"What do ya mean?"
"The government won't take this well. They'll crack down. More checkpoints, more scans. They'll probably raid the mutantowns. The lucky ones'll end up in The Pit or the camps."
There's fear in her voice. I can't blame her. Camps, mutant ghettos, experimentation. She's Jewish, it's something scarred into the collective memory of her people. I still ain't able to believe that she came back. She came back to help her friends. She watched them die and she still wakes up screaming on the nights that I don't. Suddenly, I think that maybe I'm gonna end up losing her. "We can't start panicking yet. I ain't gonna and I know ya ain't gonna neither."
Kitty nods, and she starts to calm down. I love that about her. Swallowing her fears. Like she's ready to take on all comers but when we're alone and it's just us she ain't gonna shy away from her emotions. I rub at her back, and sink down farther on the couch. "So here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna lay low for a couple days. Keep doing everythin' normal. Don't want people to get suspicious. But we'll want to pack a couple bags in case we gotta scoot. Maybe do some shoppin'."
"Different stores. Don't want people to start asking why we're stocking up on essentials. And I love how you say the word scoot."
I pointedly ignore her comment on my vocabulary. "I don't see why it matters. Figure there'll be a run on some things because people'll be panicking over the 'mutant uprising.'"
She eyes me, and then smiles. "Fair enough."
"Kitty." I brush aside strands of her amazing hair. "Are ya gonna contact them?"
She looks away and shrugs her shoulders. "I don't know. I know if I try right now the government'll be all over us. I'll have to be more subtle. I just want them to know we're okay."
"Ain't trying to get recruited?" The more I think about it, the more the idea sounds good. I already know I can't turn my back on our people. But am I really doing a lick of good staying in the shadows while people suffer? I think that's the scariest part. I can see the decision coming like a tornado bearing down on us. She's too much like me to sit back and do nothing. Not if there was a shred of hope. It ain't right. It ain't fair. Somewhere out there maybe there's a world where we met and the worse problems we face are who gets to sleep closer to the wall.
"Anna." She looks at me like she's afraid of what I'm gonna say or do. Like if she's gonna do something she'll end up doing it alone. She looks like she's sorry that she's gonna ruin something good.
I shush her with a finger over her lips. "We'll talk about it later. Just promise if ya gonna do something stupid ya tell me first so I can be stupid too?" God. I guess domestic bliss isn't really in the cards, is it? She moves into my lap, straddling me. I just have to rub her legs. They're muscular, a dancer's legs. She keeps fit, she still trains. I wake up most mornings to her contorting into some kind of weird ninja shape. I'd be lying if I said watching her hadn't gotten me to work on some of the pudge I'd put around my belly. Probably a good thing now. Because we're gonna do something stupid.
"Promise."
Any day police could bust down our door and take us away. And if we do this stupid thing, this stupid thing where we actually fight back…And I don't care if it's too fast. I could lose her tomorrow and she's the first thing that's given me any kinda sanity in this whole world. I don't say it out loud, but I promise something too. If she'll have it, I'm gonna put a ring on her finger.
