a/n: ah, a few more notes: i yanked some names of Alderaanians off of Wookieepedia, but their functions in this story are made up by me. When it's not obvious (as in, obviously Rieekan isn't mine) I'll note when I used a name from the EU, and when I made up a character. "Braxxer" is mine. Kell Tainer, Tyr Taskeen, Dansra Beezer, Threkin Horm - they're not.
Two
The Alderaanian Council was the leading authority on all issues concerning the diaspora: it handled everything from financial problems, to inheritance issues, to legal settlements and the search for a possible new home world for Alderaan's remaining legacy. Most of its members held other positions in addition to their membership on the Council, and this evening, the biggest among them were present. Biggest in this new reality defined a person differently; Leia was the only member left of the Alderaanian aristocracy; the Council was made up up not of people who were born to govern, but who had proven their devotion in actions after the Disaster.
When she entered Threkin Horm's plush office at the old Alderaanian Embassy, Kell Tainer, Tyr Taskeen, Dansra Beezer, and Carlist Rieekan were present; Leia was expecting them. She was unprepared to see Mon Mothma and Jan Dodonna as well – what the Chief of State and Military Commander of the New Republic were doing involved, she couldn't be sure.
"Carlist," Leia greeted softly, her eyes on Mon Mothma.
Behind her, Han shut the door to the room – several people were sitting, others were standing - back in the corner, Braxxer stood with his hands behind his back, looking wary.
Dansra, a pilot, lounging with her feet up, raised her hand in greeting; Kell flashed a grin at Leia and nodded his head – those two had been valuable members of the Rebellion, not necessarily high-ranking, or aristocratic Alderaanians, but Alderaanians all the same, and with a fingers the pulse of the people.
"Brax," Threkin growled, "there was no need to drag Solo to this meeting," he admonished testily, his beady eyes narrowing at the tall Corellian. Horm looked so appalled – and confused – at Solo's appearance, that Han almost shot him a smirk.
He resisted, though, and Braxxer withered under Horm's annoyed glare.
"What are you doing here, General?" Dodonna asked simply, his expression cool – Jan was one of those people Han had never had a problem with while serving in the Alliance, but with whom he'd suddenly had a falling out since about two weeks ago.
"Han was with me, Jan," Leia said simply, taking a seat in her usual chair in the conference room.
Her expression was cool, and Han leaned against a wall somewhere behind her, taking up residence in the shadows. He was there for support; he didn't miss the outraged look in Horm's eyes – Horm, who'd never really had the guts to get behind the Rebellion, but who sure had ideas about how Leia should live her life in the aftermath.
"At this hour?" Threkin demanded.
Leia blinked very slowly.
"At any hour he wishes," she remarked mildly, turning straight to Rieekan. "Braxxer said it was you who wanted me here," she said.
Rieekan, who'd been giving Han a somewhat amused look over Leia's head, hastily composed himself and nodded, turning his head to look quickly at Mon Mothma before sitting forward and clearing his throat.
"I thought it best," he said, "and I thought it best not to wait. I'd rather you be in the loop and it turn out to be a false signal than you think we hid something of this magnitude from you."
Leia's lips turned up in a grateful little smile. Rieekan was one of those rare people who understood she could be more than one thing; he may have known her as a Princess on Alderaan, but he'd also been shoulder to shoulder with her in the trenches on Hoth, on Yavin, and at countless other places – like Dansra, like Kell, he was one who had gotten his hands dirty, and seen her do the same.
Those who had seen blood and dirt on her nails seemed to view her differently than those who thought, when the Rebellion ended, things would fall back to the way they'd been. The latter seemed to forget that once it all ended, Leia had no palace to go back to, no throne to sit on.
"Whatever this is," Leia began delicately, "it has to be a false signal."
She looked around intently, meeting the eyes of her fellows. She waited for someone to speak, and for a brief moment, she felt like she was home again, standing in while her mother lay ill, and her father was away on a diplomatic mission. She moved her head slightly, shaking the image away. She would never be that girl again; she would never be home again.
Tyr Taskeen snapped his fingers, and pointed to the back of the room, indicating the plasma display.
"This is what Braxxer came across while he was monitoring the rubble where Alderaan once was," Taskeen said, with pauses before words like rubble and Alderaan.
The monitoring scans appeared on the screen, and Leia studied them, compartmentalizing the blips that would be remaining asteroids, rock clusters – pieces of her home. The glitchy, glimmer screen was uneventful for a moment, and then there was a burst of signal, present for a moment, lingering briefly, and then gone.
Leia felt like her heart skipped its next ten beats, and she gripped the arms of her seat tightly.
The skepticism she'd come in with faded brilliantly in a moment, and she blinked, lips parting, as they replayed the clip – paused it on the signal exploding into space, the distress image.
She'd know it anywhere. She'd grown up under that signal.
The Official Seal of the House of Organa.
She pressed her lips together tightly, unable to say anything.
"My first impression was that it was a hoax, Your Highness," Braxxer spoke up, reinforcing his belief.
She'd felt the same way when he'd implied what he had, in her apartment. Seeing that seal, though – directly in front of her – she suddenly, even if she didn't want to admit it, felt different. There was something suspiciously like – wild hope – flaring in the back of her mind.
"When I saw it, I wasn't so sure," Rieekan spoke up. He turned, leaning forward, his elbows balanced on his knees. "You understand why, Your Highness?" he asked, his voice lower.
She nodded, without saying anything – when the silence went on too long, Han cleared his throat, and spoke up.
"Why?" he asked, for himself – and for a few others who looked at least mildly confused. Ignoring the look Horm and Dodonna shot him, Han rubbed his palm on his trousers casually.
Leia turned her head slightly, her profile tilted towards Han.
"There's a security mechanism embedded into the distress seal," she said very levelly. "The official seal of the House is well known; the distress seal has an addition that's only known to members of the inner circles with appropriate security clearances. It's to prevent traps being set. To prevent imposters," she explained.
Elaborating for Han was keeping her sane.
Leia inclined her head at the seal present on the screen.
"That small bird in the lower left corner is the signal that it's authentic," she revealed hoarsely.
Han searched for what she mentioned, and it took him forever to find it – small, iridescent, in the corner of the seal, was the native bird she mentioned. He leaned his head back thoughtfully, considering what it might mean.
Leia took a heavy breath and turned back to Rieekan – focusing on Rieekan alone.
"You had them come to me," she said softly. "What do you think?"
"It was there for the barest second," he answered. "I wanted to write it off, but the bird – "
Leia nodded. She lifted her chin and looked at Braxxer.
"Has it reappeared since?" she asked.
"I've barely been monitoring since I alerted the Council," he said, his face blanching. "It caused such an uproar – "
"Such an uproar that instead of watching the monitoring systems like a hawk, someone felt it best to drag everyone out of bed for an emergency meeting with no information?" Leia interrupted sharply.
Her irritation was not directed at Braxxer, but he looked cowed all the same. She turned her dark eyes on her peers, the pilots, and the head of state. It seemed infuriatingly simple to her that before sounding all the alarms, they'd glean more information.
"Now, Your Majesty," began Horm obsequiously.
Leia held up her hand for silence, and shot an irritable look at the obsequious man. The very way he spoke to her recently offended her; he overused titles - he seemed determined to impress upon her that Han Solo was not an appropriate match.
"Majesty is reserved for the anointed ruler, Threkin, and I think you know that," she said icily. She pulled her chair forward, and caught Braxxer's eye. "I want you to go back to the Intelligence Center and monitor the area around the clock," she told him. "I want you to report any issues to General Rieekan directly," she paused, "and only General Rieekan."
Braxxer swallowed, nodded, and scampered from the room.
Dansra leaned forward, pushing hair back over her shoulder.
"I want to clarify things in as simple a way as possible," she said in a musical, non-threatening voice. "We're here because there's a chance high-ranking Alderaanians may have somehow survived The Disaster – somehow."
Kell held up his hand.
"Not merely high ranking," he said brow furrowing. He gestured at the seal. "Viceroy Organa?"
Finally, Mon Mothma cleared her throat.
"It's highly unlikely that any ship using that signal wouldn't have Bail or Breha Organa on board, which is why Carlist asked for Leia's verification of the seal – "
"He knew it the moment he saw it," Leia pointed out, shooting a sharp glance at Mon Mothma – Rieekan had been one of her father's dearest friends, and suddenly she felt awful sitting here, discussing the possible survival of someone close to her when there was no chance his own family had escaped.
"So you two are here," Han said, gesturing mildly between Dodonna and Mon Mothma, "because you think this is real."
Feeding off of him, Leia held up both of her hands.
"This is preposterous," she said, in a voice that seemed less certain than she had been earlier. "My mother was on planet when Tantive IV was captured; I spoke to her when I boarded the ship. She was sitting in the throne room – "
"Perhaps it isn't her," Mon Mothma said delicately.
"Father was on planet, as well!" Leia protested.
"Are you sure?" Dodonna asked.
Leia moved her mouth soundlessly, and sat back, her shoulders sinking. She supposed she wasn't absolutely, utterly, completely positive, but she had no reason to believe he'd have been off planet – there was no cause for it! Gritting her teeth, she turned to Rieekan.
"Carlist," she said heavily, "you told me that my family was told I was killed in an accident on Tantive IV. They would have been in Aldera planning a burial."
"If they stuck to custom," Tyr spoke up suddenly. He hesitated, and scratched his chin. "Not very many of us believed that story was true," he revealed. He'd never been a part of the upper echelon, but he'd been in the rebellion when the announcement was sent to Alderaan, and thus transmitted across the Alderaanian network.
Leia fell silent.
"The monarchy never made a statement, Princess," Dansra spoke up in her soft voice. "They never publicly acknowledged the claim."
"They didn't believe I was dead?" Leia asked after a moment, a twinge of hope in her voice.
"I didn't," Kell spoke up confidently. "Hell – pardon my language, Your Highness," Leia gave a protracted roll of her eyes at that, "Queen Breha wasn't the kind of woman to accepted something like that without proof, not when rumors of Alderaan's disloyalty were already rampant," he pointed out.
Leia leaned forward and put her head in her hands, and Han wanted nothing more than to remove her from this room, lock her back in their bedroom with him, and make her forget every bad thing that had ever happened to her. When Leia lifted her head again, she had compressed her lips, and she looked back at Mon Mothma.
"You were my father's oldest friend, Mon," she said. "Why do you think he might have been off planet when – it happened?"
Her father had been so adamant that he stay behind, that he not raise any suspicions. The Empire had never trusted him, he was always on their lists, and he said it was safer for her if he looked like he'd faded into obscurity while she took hold of her political career.
"Because if he thought they had you, Leia," Mon Mothma said simply, "he would have gone to get you."
Leia felt selfish for asking the question, because it was what she'd wanted to hear – she'd spent so long on the Death Star lost in despair, face to face with her own mortality, with tragedy, with impending doom – that Han and Luke had shown up was a fluke. It was a fluke that changed her life, but nonetheless, an impossible occurrence – but to know, even vaguely, that her father might have set out to get her, gave her a strange kind of comfort; retroactively erased a miniscule amount of despair.
"But how is this possible?" she asked, looking around. "Anything near the orbit of Alderaan would have been blown to pieces," she said desperately, "and it's been five years – five years, without discovering something this – this – " she broke off, shaking her head. "If this had come to us a month after Yavin, I might have believed it – I'd have wanted to," she said dully. She frowned. "This can't be."
"Don't you want it to be?" Dansra asked suddenly – and she asked Leia, not the Princess of Alderaan, not the diplomat – she very clearly met Leia's eyes, and asked the woman sitting in across from her.
Leia's mouth was dry.
"Do I want to find a ship full of Alderaanians?" she clarified, her voice soft and harsh – not with anger, with some sort of tightly controlled grief.
She didn't even answer the question, she just looked at Dansra, and in the silence, Han felt the sadness, the devastation, of all of these people around him – and he couldn't help but be affected by it. He hadn't lost his whole planet, but he tried to imagine what it would feel like if someone told him he could see his mother again.
"Jan, do you think this is possible?" Leia asked abruptly, refusing to get into her deeper emotions in public.
Dodonna hesitated.
"There are – possible explanations," he said, very warily. "The galaxy hasn't seen a manmade destruction like Alderaan before; conditions could have combined to create all kind of odd effects – black holes, suspended animation, rips in dimensions," he listed.
Leia looked at him like he'd grown a second head, and Threkin Horm cleared his throat.
"It's also quite possible we're picking up light from the past, some sort of glitch in monitoring telescopes," he said, somewhat lamely.
Dansra suddenly let out a loud snort.
"Telescopes that are glitching only up to five years?" she said caustically.
"No, reaching back further," Horm said icily. "Reflecting the seal from an earlier time of distress – "
"House Organa developed that seal specifically when the Rebel Alliance took shape," Tyr broke in sharply. "The bird in the corner was devised in honor of Princess Leia."
Leia said nothing to that; Han wondered why it was a bird, though he didn't question why the specifically foolproof part of the signal would pay homage to Leia herself.
The Council all fell silent, and Han found it incredibly uncomfortable – the two young pilots sharing looks, uncomfortable with the proceedings; Taskeen with his quiet study of Leia, Horm with his covert glares at Han – and then Rieekan, thoughtful, and Dodonna and Mon Mothma, looming with their prestige and their agendas.
"We need to decide if we're going to send scouts out there," Threkin said finally.
Han's eyes widened, and he spoke up without thinking –
"Scouts? Out to that wreckage on a whim? That area's so unstable, you can't risk lives on the flicker of a distress signal – "
"General Solo, this hardly concerns you," Horm snapped nastily.
Han pointed to himself.
"If it's gonna affect men under my command, it does," he fired back, shooting a glance at both Rieekan and Dodonna. "I'm the only one here who's flown into that mess," he said stiffly.
"Check yourself, General Solo," Dodonna said, flicking his eyes to Leia. "You might want to consider the company."
"Han's right," Leia said, without looking at him. "With all due respect, Threkin, it would be foolish to go careening off to the Alderaan System on nothing more than a whim – "
"A whim! That's your father's distress signal on that screen, Your Highness!" Horm groused in disbelief. "I would think you would be sending the best of the New Republic's army to retrieve him."
Leia turned her dark eyes on Horm, and he quailed, sinking back into his seat somewhat. She hadn't missed the implication of his words – that she was reacting inappropriately coldly, as usual, that she was unfeeling – the same sort of criticism she'd gotten back on Yavin when she didn't publicly fall apart in grief over Alderaan.
She said nothing to him, to anyone, for a very long time, and then she turned to Rieekan.
"Would you agree with General Solo that it's best we proceed with caution?" she asked.
He hesitated, and nodded.
"Much as I'd like to go myself," he muttered, before nodding more firmly. "Caution, and skepticism," he decided. "As a matter of fact, I called Mon and Jan here to get their input on possible rescue missions, considering the high profile nature of those in need."
"I think it's too early to consider rescue missions," Leia said quietly.
"At the risk of speaking out of turn," Kell said, lifting his hand, "so do I. We'd need significant preparation, because it could be a trap."
"A trap?" Dansra asked. She pointed at the signal. "Princess Leia just said that's a classified version of the signal – it's not replicable," she pointed out, exasperated. "That's why we're all here – isn't it?" She looked around. "Why we haven't just ignored it as an obvious scam and…moved on," she trailed off.
She noticed Mon Mothma sharing a look with Rieekan and frowned. Kell put his hands behind his head and frowned, too, watching the silent exchange.
"Is there a possibility someone close to the Organas was a traitor?" Taskeen asked warily, his eyes sharply on his superiors.
"No," Rieekan said confidently.
"Not in precisely the way you'd think," Mon Mothma said delicately.
Kell shrugged.
"The Empire had impeccable intelligence," he said flatly. "They could have gotten it out of any Alderaanian who wasn't ready to die – "
"We were all ready to die," Dansra said fiercely. "After what they did?"
"It's unlikely an Alderaanian would have betrayed the secret before the Disaster – "
"And after, anyone who knew something that classified was dead!" Taskeen said harshly.
"Not everyone," Leia said finally. She leaned forward, rubbing her temples tensely, hiding her eyes for a moment. Han watched her uncertainly – Leia couldn't be suggesting she'd revealed something like that to her mortal enemies.
"Your Highness?" Horm asked, expressing some shock.
"Tantive IV was the only other ship authorized with that signal," Mon Mothma said carefully. "They could have taken notice when Leia transmitted her distress before her capture – "
"That's very kind of you, Mon," Leia interrupted, lifting her head. "What she isn't saying is that it's possible the Empire harvested several Alderaanian secrets from my head while I used all of my strength to protect the location of the Rebel Base."
Han lowered his hands in surprise – to hear her mention her time in the Death Star in company was a rare thing; to imagine her being so strained keeping one secret that she unknowingly gave up others was not only harrowing, it was heartbreaking.
Leia didn't say much more; she didn't mention that she had no clear memory of what had happened during the psychological interrogations, only that when she was lucid again, Alderaan was in the crosshairs of the empire, and Vader still didn't know the Rebels were on Yavin.
She had always carried with her the heavy guilt that Alderaan had been marked for execution because of what he'd found in her head – because it was so far gone, so much the heart of the rising Alliance, that it had to go.
"Well," Han said abruptly, giving a menacing glare to the silent council members, "I doubt anyone here blames you for that." His tone brooked no argument, and the look on his face suggested her might rip apart anyone who suggested otherwise.
"Of course not," Mon Mothma said with quiet firmness.
Han was grateful to her for that, because her sincerity was genuine.
"We face a problem of how to proceed," Dodonna ventured finally. "Carlist thought it best to defer to Your Highness," he said, waving his hand at Leia gallantly.
Leia looked at the distress signal projected on the screen, considering it intently for a long time. She knew a well-formed, logical, and mostly military decision was in order, and she was prepared to make that – for the most part, she couldn't really comprehend the myriad of possibilities this one brief flicker of an old seal prophesized, and making decisions would distract her.
She turned in her chair, looking at Han.
"What was it like when you were there?" she asked.
She had never asked him about it before, though of course she knew that he, Luke, Chewbacca, and Ben Kenobi had come out of hyperspace into the middle of it. They'd had to; they'd been caught in the Death Star's trajectory as the battle station hurtled away from the wreckage.
Han hesitated to answer truthfully in front of so many people; to put it lightly, Alderaan's demise had not been pretty – navigating the destruction had been one of the most dangerous maneuvers of his life.
"Like navigating that asteroid field near Hoth," he answered truthfully.
"With or without Imperials shooting at us?" she asked levelly.
"With," he decided. "Worse."
Leia nodded at him, grimacing slightly. She'd expected as much.
"What asteroid field?" Dansra asked suddenly, curiosity piqued. "You can navigate an asteroid field?!"
Han looked at her over Leia's head, and grinned.
"You mean they didn't cover that one in the holo-movies?" he quipped.
Leia lifted her hand to her mouth and bit on her nail, considering him a moment. She rolled her eyes at him and turned back to the group, leaving Dansra's question unanswered.
"Is that where this happened?" Rieekan asked, pointing between Han and Leia. "When you evacuated her from Hoth?"
Han folded his arms, compressing is lips pointedly.
"Carlist," Mon Mothma said stiffly, "this is an official meeting, not a gossip forum."
Threkin Horm glowered at Han, and Han shrugged, turning his focus back to Leia.
For her part, Leia didn't seem to care; she took a deep breath, and pulled her hand from her lips, pointing at the seal that seemed to menace the room.
"I want that authenticated," she remarked. She paused. "Ah, what I mean is – I want the system monitored to see if the distress call sounds again, or comes back in full. We need to know if it's consistent, if it's fading – et cetera," she listed. "There should be some specialists to ascertain whether it's a forgery, if you get readings consistent enough to suggest there's actually something there, waiting."
Han listened to her give orders, somewhat smugly taking pride in how she commanded a room – even when she was probably barely holding it together inside. This kind of information had to be a shock; it had to be, even if it didn't really mean anything yet -
"So, monitor that system without stopping – I don't know how wise it is, but in an effort to get to the bottom to this, I'm going to order most operations in the Intelligence and Rescue centers focus on this. Get cryptographers available for authentication purposes – and I want a team of extremely reputable Scientists to be read into the issue to see if they can flesh out possible explanation for - -survivors," the words felt metallic and strange on her tongue, unreal. She swallowed hard, and went on: "Finally, I want daily reports on progress submitted to Rieekan," she paused, and glanced to the front of the room "If there's something to this – "
Leia trailed off a moment, and then took a deep breath.
"—then it's not just an Alderaanian issue. My father served in the Old Republic, and he was close with the Jedi. Anything he remembers would be – invaluable."
She made no mention of herself, of her own personal desires. She cleared her throat.
"I'll consult with Commander Skywalker," she added carefully. "He may offer – insight."
"Asking a member of the Old Religion for advising on a policy decision?" Taskeen asked warily. "That's what put the Sith in power."
"Good Gods, Tyr, its Luke Skywalker, not Darth Vader!" Dodonna snapped.
Leia's blood felt cold a moment, and she suppressed a shudder – so few people knew; so few people. What would happen when information was free again, when people were un-muzzled from years of Imperial influence? The only good thing that the purge of the Jedi had brought was the elimination of a group of people who knew Luke and Leia's true parentage.
"At any rate," Leia said coolly. "Luke can be trusted with power far further than some," she remarked mildly. "Are my instructions clear?"
There was a murmur of agreement, and Leia looked around at her people.
"Is there anything else that should be done?" she asked, opening the floor – she was stunned her voice wasn't shaking; she felt like there was a storm brewing inside of her.
"I think you've covered the basics," Dodonna said. "I doubt anyone could have come down more logically on such an – unexpected situation."
Rieekan looked at his watch, and stood up, straightening a slightly wrinkled jacket. With a polite nod around, he had Taskeen snap off the display, and gestured at the door.
"It's late," he said simply, suggesting a dismissal.
There was a dull ruckus as everyone began to move; Threkin Horm was the first out, without a word to anyone in the room – but with an extremely vocal look at Han. Han ignored him, and came forward behind Leia's chair. Before he could say anything, Rieekan called him over. Leia stood up as he walked away, tucking loose hairs behind her ears. She noticed both Mon Mothma and Dansra, the pilot, approaching her, and braced herself.
"If I can speak out of turn, Your Highness," Dansra said, her voice low. She flicked her eyes at Han. "I wouldn't listen to what anyone says – I don't blame you," she said, with an almost suggestive wink.
She filed out, beginning a sleepy conversation with Kell, and Leia folded her arms, smiling wryly – well, it was nice to have some support from an Alderaanian who didn't think, as the holo-reporters put it, she was throwing away her lineage.
Mon Mothma averted her eyes a moment, overhearing the comment, and touched Leia's arm.
"This must have been a difficult meeting," she remarked.
Leia lifted her shoulders without committing to a statement.
"I knew Bail, too, Leia," Mothma said. "Very well."
"I'm aware of that, Mon," Leia said carefully. "It wasn't in the same capacity as I did," she said simply.
Mon Mothma nodded. She was silent a moment, and then looked over her shoulder at Han and Rieekan, who stood head to head, having a hushed conversation.
"This is hardly the time to bring it up – "
"Then don't," Leia said flatly.
"I'm not going to say what you think I'm going to say."
Leia lifted her brows, and waited, as if to challenge that statement. Mon Mothma sighed.
"Your personal life is your own," she said honestly. "If I'd known you were – spoken for, I might not have been so insistent with – matrimonial alliance plans," she said delicately. "I'm not sure the middle of a gala was the best place to remove yourself from the game."
Leia took this to be some kind of apology, and smiled somewhat tiredly.
"My subtle hints went unnoticed, Mon," she said quietly – for months, she had demurred when it came to any sort of arrangements for a treaty. "Perhaps purposely unnoticed."
Mon Mothma inclined her head stiffly, allowing that that was probably true – whether consciously, as it most likely was on Dodonna and Horm's part, or unconsciously, on hers.
"Still, a private, explicit word with me would have been appreciated. A vagueness about your status could have given us bargaining power with reluctant systems."
Leia smiled tightly.
"I've had quite enough of my physical person being used for the purposes of government," she said crisply – even the idea of insinuating she might marry should an alliance be made, and then baiting and switching the offer, was insulting to her, and to Han.
She'd never have put either of them in that position; and it was absolutely imperative the galaxy know that neither Leia Organa's body nor mind was for sale.
Mon Mothma studied her for a moment.
"I swore to your father I'd watch over you, Leia," she said.
"I've appreciated that very much," Leia said quietly – and quite sincerely. "Having people who care is never a negative."
"Then you understand why I might ask – how long has this affair with General Solo been going on?"
Leia considered her critically for a moment.
"It's not reversible," she said vaguely.
"Pardon me?"
"It's been consummated, if that is what you're asking," Leia informed her – the statement was blunt, almost challenging, but said so elegantly it couldn't be considered crass.
A pink tinge touched Mon Mothma's face, and she raised her eyes a moment -perhaps because she was embarrassed for asking, perhaps because she hadn't at all meant that.
"Is it wise, Leia?" she asked.
Leia's response was simply:
"You've crossed a line, Mon."
She took a pointed step back, and Han approached, resting his fingertips gently above her elbow.
"Ready?" he asked, his conversation with Rieekan finished. He did a double take at the expression on Mon Mothma's face, and his brow furrowed. Leia murmured a soft consent, and he let go of her, letting her follow him out of the room at her own pace.
She gave a cordial nod to the remaining occupants – Dodonna, Mon Mothma, Rieekan, and caught up to him, silently slipping her arm through his as they made their way from the Embassy's heart to the speeder parking.
The jaunt back to her - their – apartment was silent, windy, and chilly, and she kept her eyes closed, her head pillowed heavily on Han's shoulder as he expertly piloted the thing through Coruscant airspace.
It wasn't until he was locking the apartment door behind him that he said:
"What did you say to Madam Chief of State that had her looking like she'd seen a Hutt in a bikini?"
Unpinning her hair from its hastily done up braids, Leia drew her fingers through it silently, turning at their bedroom door.
"I told her we've had sex."
Han looked amused.
"Just once?" he snorted.
"I'm sure she'd like to think that," Leia answered breezily. He heard her continuing, as he followed her towards their bedroom. "I'm sure she's telling herself it was simply awful for me, I've sworn never to do it again," she simpered.
He caught up to her as she sat on the bed, unzipping the casual leather boots she'd worn. He knelt down on one knee and took over for her; she placed her hand on his shoulder while he shimmied the boot off.
"Was it awful?" he asked seriously.
"Devastatingly so," she returned.
He smirked at her. She moved her hand towards his neck, slipping her fingers into the hair at the back of his head.
"What did Carlist want?"
Han put one boot aside, and reached for the other, choosing his words carefully. He unzipped the other boot, and started gently shimmying it off as well. He didn't speak again until he had set it aside, and then he looked up, rubbing his jaw.
"To make sure I was up for this," he said.
"Up for what?" she asked softly.
"You," he answered quietly. "Your reaction to – whatever the hell is going on."
Leia pressed her lips together so tightly, they damn near disappeared. She turned her head away, and after a moment, Han stood up. He got the lights in the room, and came back, standing near her, his arm on a bedpost.
"Leia," he prompted.
She shifted onto her knees, and straightened, placing her hands on his hips, inching closer to him. He rested his free hand on her lower back gently, still gripping the post with his other.
She laid her forehead against his chest, closing her eyes lightly. For a moment, she relaxed her shoulders, relaxed her thoughts, considered letting it sink in – immediately, she felt dizzy, and overwhelmed, and then just as quickly as she'd let herself test the feelings, she locked them back up, shook her head, and tilted it up to him.
"I can't process this right now."
He nodded, his eyes full of concern.
"Okay," he murmured.
She moved her hands up to his neck, and pulled his face down to hers, kissing him desperately; passionately. She gripped his shoulders, and yanked him down to the bed with her, tumbling, until she was on top of him, half-unbraided hair spilling onto his shoulder. His fingers tangled up in it possessively.
"Weren't we in the middle of something earlier?" she asked huskily.
He fought the urge to lift her off of him, to make her at least just go to sleep if she didn't want to talk about this, address this – but she silently pleaded with him:
Make this go away. Make me forget for a while.
"Were we?" he asked, obeying her silent command, feigning innocence.
"Mmm," she mumbled, lowering her lips to his, pressing her body against his. "Let's do something awful," she whispered temptingly, a pert little reference to their conversation moments earlier.
He pulled her closer to him, deftly undoing the rest of her braid, moving his lips to her jaw, and her neck – he was positive this wasn't what Carlist Rieekan had in mind when he gruffly bid Han to be there for her, but if nothing else, at least Han knew Rieekan trusted him with her more than the others.
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-alexandra
