Disclaimer: I don't own anything...Not even the letters because they belong to the cast...

-tdangie

I drabbled on it for awhile and it took me forever to actually get those few lines which is why I started writing nanananananaananananana! I couldn't even think of anything to top what I wrote for the summary! The title alone was tricky!

Also, to everyone who is reading these letters in the characters voices! You're awesome because that's what I do when I write these! If I can't see someone saying it in my head, I don't write it! If you're not reading it in the characters voices then you're doing it wrong and missing out on the humor of doing so.

Random fact: Any story I write is 100% on the top of my head, I don't rough draft anything! I open a word pad and I just do it. That's how my best ideas seem to come to me so shall we begin?


Dear mom and Brother who I haven't seen in so long that I forgot his name,

Thanks for sending me that video from home two years ago! I actually forgot my brother's name and I'm really sorry about that! What was it? Connor? Colton? Cody...Oh no, Cody is the kid from the show I was on, you two much have watched it, right?

Well as you can obviously tell, I'm doing just fine living here on my own and I actually wanted to say thanks mom! You were always driving me nuts and telling me I couldn't color my hair to express myself! I don't have to worry about it here! Chris always gives me money for hair dye, because it's in my contract! Signing up for this show was the greatest thing I have ever done to spite you! So, to say I miss you and want to come home would be a lie, In fact I don't get why everyone else here complains about not having their parents around, This is like a teenagers dream! I'm writing this right now in my boyfriends room while he is sitting on his bed without his shirt on listening to his music and I have the biggest smile on my face right now knowing that you are going to flip out when you read this and I know you can't do anything about it! Being a rebel totally rocks! If I would have brought Duncan home for you to meet you would have freaked out! It would have been hilarious! Do you remember when we made out in season 3 in the bathroom? That was just for you mom! That was for not letting me go swimming in 6th grade at Jeremy Johnson's house because you knew I liked him!

So as you can guess right now, Chris is making us all write these letters to look good on Camera! I told him how much I miss Barney, my dog and that I was laughing at all the good times we had, Little does he know that I'm not writing a nice letter and that I don't have a dog! Oh, the things you do and say around here to get hair dye...So yeah, This is going to be the only letter you will ever get from me! You don't understand me at all and I'm going to some art college with all that money I made from the show!

Let's talk about how great my life is here at the playa, I wake up at noon and then I eat as much junk food as I want until Chef Hatchet cuts me off or until Owen eats it all, Usually the second one happens first. I get to hang out all day with my hot boyfriend who has a criminal record, Betcha Jeremy Johnson is looking better to you now! Duncan and I make out a lot! Sometimes I don't think he gets me though, Trent understood me way more! I dumped him because he got freaky and obsessive, I think he may like boys too because I've seen the way he looks at Chris sometimes and it concerns me. Do you know what else concerns me? Courtney. She needs to get over the fact that Duncan picked me and not her, Heather also needs to get over herself! I don't know what she's doing to make it in every single season but I KNOW she's got to be up to something! Duncan tells me not to worry about Heather because it's only going to stress me out, but how can you not wonder what she's doing to make it in every single season! I didn't get asked to appear in season 4! They picked DJ and Bridgette over me! I'm way more popular on this show then DJ and Bridgette!

So yeah, Life here is great! and I almost one the first season! Couldn't be happier with my life! I'm living life all on my own and one day I'm going to marry Duncan and he's going to support me unless he gets arrested, but he promised me he's going to try to do better! We are going to last for sure! Don't judge me mom, I know what you'll say, That'll he'll cheat on me just like he did Courtney but that's different he would NEVER do that to me! He promised, so I'm not worried at all.

Yay for being a teenage rebel!

See you eventually,

Gwen.