Sorry it's been a while, I was just waiting for a certain kind of inspiration to hit. I wanted this chapter to turn out better than the first and I'm hoping I accomplished my goal.
A few days go by before we speak again. I actually saw her dart AWAY from me in the hallways at least twice. I wish she would make up her mind. Usually Emily is such a decisive person, but something about this, with me, seems different. I'm not sure if it's because she's worried about how soon after Toby it is, or the morality of the situation, but I wish she would just talk to me.
I don't know what to do or say since I told my best friend I'm in love with her, but I'm actually searching for her this time. She won't return my texts or phone calls and she's never in the place I expect her to be especially the lunch room anymore; probably figures that since I'm never there, either, that would be the first place I'd go looking for her.
I'm running out of places to look and I'm thinking about giving up today as I round the last corner to her locker , my last ditch effort at an "accidental" encounter, and stop abruptly when I see Emily and Paige there, literally screaming at each other. Paige looks like she's seconds from tears and Emily's back is to me, but the wavering of her voice indicates the same.
I'm torn; not sure whether to leave them to their personal, not so private, conversation, or to wait around for the comfort I surmise she'll require once the fight has ended. As I starting backing out of view, I see Paige's eyes flicker to mine and she completely shuts down, raising her hands to signal the end of the conversation and storms down the hallway toward me.
For only a second I actually feel something, the tiniest shard of an emotion, and adrenaline coursing through my veins. Ordinarily I wouldn't even rise to a confrontation with McCullers, but I can feel myself standing up straighter and narrowing my eyes as she closes in on me.
Her eyes are murderous and her voice is low. "I hope you're fucking happy now." But she doesn't even stop, getting just close enough to invade my personal space and speak exactly what's on her mind, and she pushes me back with both hands into a row of lockers and keeps walking.
I'm shaking with rage and just as I'm about to follow her down the hall and give her a piece of MY mind, I feel a hand on my shoulder and whip my body around to face its owner. Emily stands there, wide-eyed and worried and I lose every ounce of self-control. My body hasn't produced this many endorphins in some time and I need an outlet. I've quit all my sports and clearly can't beat Paige's head in so I do the next best thing.
I grab Emily's wrist and spin her around, slamming her back into the lockers and before she has time to do or say anything else I'm crushing our lips together. Using both hands, I pin hers just above her head and press our bodies flush against one another as I run my tongue over her bottom lip, asking for permission. She whimpers and grants it eagerly.
All I can think about is how good she tastes as I shift both of her wrists to just my right hand and trail the nails on the fingers of my left hand down her arm and body to tickle the skin of her stomach as I inch my hand up the front only slightly. I moan, much louder than necessary, into her mouth as she bucks her hips into mine and tugs her wrists down, clearly trying to escape my grip to reciprocate my passionate caresses.
I relent; releasing her limbs and moaning again when her hands go immediately to cup my ass, pulling me impossibly close to her. I jerk my mouth from hers to quickly attach it to her neck and grind my pelvis into hers and her head slams into the locker behind her. Her ragged breaths almost directly in my ear nearly cause me to miss the bell, signaling the end of the school day.
I rip my mouth off of her completely, my hands taking fistfuls of her shirt and pulling my body entirely away from hers, except for my mouth by her ear long enough to whisper, "Come to my house tonight. Late. I want to make sure we're not interrupted." I lean away and see her, all of her; her eyes are closed, her lips are swollen, she's gasping for air, and she looks like attempting to hold herself up is harder than swimming an entire relay.
I touch her hand for just a moment as people filter into the hallway around us, giving us the occasional glance. She nods her head and licks her lips distractedly before pulling her hand away, pushing herself off the lockers, and stumbling away without a glance back in my direction.
I'm frozen to the spot, staring off after her and feel the stirrings of something akin to excitement. A legitimate smile breaks out on my face and I'm too caught up to think about what I just implied. I told
Emily to come to my house so we could be alone… after making out pretty heavily against a locker in a public hallway.
I know I should probably be worried. Paige isn't a person to piss off. I should probably also inquire to Emily about what they were fighting about. And I'm completely sure I should not be doing this to my best friend; with my best friend, either phrasing is appropriate. I'm using her, and she doesn't even know. She thinks I'm in love with her.
I've somehow walked out to my car, not even remembering the trip here, and climb into the driver's seat before I start to cry. I cry for him, I cry for me, I cry for her; at least half an hour has passed and my tears haven't even begun to ebb… until the passenger door of my car flies open and a concerned Hanna plops herself down next to me.
The tears falling from my eyes are still constant, but the sobs are easily choked back as I wait for her to say something. She removes a small package of tissues from her purse and hands a couple to me as she continues to patiently await some semblance of sanity and composure to return to me.
I dab my eyes one last time before wadding the damp tissue into the palm of my hand, drawing in a deep breath and turning fully toward her; this mini ambush can only be about one thing.
Her face contorts into an expression of concern and warning. Her words don't hold malice, only honesty and love.
"Look, I may not be the nicest person. And I may not say the right thing most of the time, but I love Emily, and I love you, and I just want to make sure you're doing this with her because you want HER. Not just because you can't have Toby."
"What did she tell you?" I gasp, wondering exactly how much of this story Hanna knows.
"Enough." She says, with a satisfied smirk. "That's all she needed to tell me."
She's known before today. I'm not sure why I expected any different; Hanna and Emily are the closest of the four of us and I don't know why I had assumed Emily would keep this from her.
"I love her, Hanna. This isn't about Toby." I'm hoping my eyes are still as inexpressive as they have been. If they betrayed anything, Hanna didn't let it show she was any the wiser. Only a simple nod of her head before a sudden squeak erupts from the back of her throat and she's launching herself across the center console to give me a hard embrace.
She hasn't even fully pulled away before she's mumbling a million words a minute. "I always knew you and Emily had a thing; always with the eye sex. And that explains why Emily broke up with Paige as soon as she found out you loved her back. She never had to say anything to me, of course, but I knew she was into you." I raise an eyebrow and smile awkwardly.
I'm thankful this lie has turned out to be so believable. And who knows, maybe I can fall in love with Emily.
I hope this is okay, though, I'm still not sure what direction this story is taking. Any suggestions or criticisms would be greatly appreciated. Review, reread and all that. :D
