Author Notes: A special thank you to Phoenix who continues to do a great job beta reading my story. I'd love any suggestion or idea you might have. Enjoy!
A Decision
Time slowly passed as Sam followed a well used trail to her right. So far she'd seen no one. Winding her way down the steep hillside to the valley bellow was slow going for Sam had decided to stick to the underbrush to block her from view of the trail. For some reason, which neither she nor Jolinear knew, the trees and underbrush had been cleared away a good four to five feet around both side of the trails edge. If some one should appear around one of the many sharp turns it would have been nearly impossible for Sam to find cover in time and the last thing she need was to walk head first into a group of Jaffa.
Shockingly Jolinear didn't say anything. No warning, no witty comment, not even an agreement. For the last hour she had grown extremely quiet almost as if she wasn't there. Sam couldn't figure out what she'd said, or maybe thought, to create the sudden quietness. Whatever it had been, it had worked.
'Jolinear?' Sam called into her mind but there was no answer. Good, one part of her shouted yet another continued to wonder what she'd done. Had she upset her? Angered her? Did she care? Did it matter? All of these, questions race through her mind with a dozen of others but still Jolinear remained silent.
Sam stopped and listened for any sign of danger, nothing reached them, no her. There was no them, Sam scolded. It was brief but a pang of sadness erupted from her, no Jolinear.
'Aha, you don't like me referring to myself separately? You like the idea of us being one' There was no answer. 'What, that offends you? Well too bad, you're the one who jumped into my head, remember, without consent.'
'I know but it's hard for me. I'm not used to a host that would love to rip me out of their head and crush me bellow their boot. It brings up memories of our past, a past the Tok'ra have been trying to make amends for, for thousands of years.'
'Past?"
"We Tok'ra come from one mother, Egeria, and we all share her memories. She…"
"I don't care" Sam snapped, though truthfully she was interested. Sam wanted to know more and Jolinear knew that. After all she was apart of her mind, of Sam's mind. The problem was, Sam didn't want to be friends with a creature that had invaded her. Some how it felt like surrendering. She wanted to hate it but with every passing moment Sam felt like she was losing that hate and Sam couldn't be sure if it was because she wanted to or because Jolinear wanted her to. It wasn't easy talking to someone in her head while at the same time trying to keep aware of her surroundings. With a quick glance Sam decide she hadn't missed anything and it wouldn't hurt to take a quick rest. Taking her canteen off, she took a gulp of water, it felt soothing against her dry throat. She had to stop focusing inwards and keep alert. She was in enemy territory, both their lives depend on them doing everything right.
'I'm sorry, it not like I can just stop hearing you. Even gou'ald can't do this, they just ignore there host. No matter how hard it is for me, I will try to keep my memories and feelings from you.'
'Hard for you, ha, think what it's like for me'
'I don't need to think it, I feel it. Ever ounce of your hate, your fear, and your distrust, and your disgust flows through me, and I wish it was different'
'Well sorry. I'm not jumping for joy that I have been violated and forced into a mess I have nothing to do with' snapped Sam as she put her canteen on her belt.
'I didn't mean it was your fault, Sam. I don't blame you for hating me.'
'Good, cause it is all you're fault' Sam felt childish, but couldn't stop the anger that boiled up in her.
'I know. Still I had no choice and I will not apologize for it. I know you would have done the same, if you had been in my position'
'I don't care as long as you get out of my head as promised'
'I will, but Sam I wish you would be more open to learning what it is to be Tok'ra. I don't want my actions to destroy any chance,'
'I don't need to know anything more about the Tok'ra cause. When we find this Martouf you'll be leaving and the sooner the better.'
'I understand, if that is what you wish so be it' As Sam walked on a sadness filled her for a moment but vanished as Jolinear hid her pain. This was just so confusing, god one moment she hated Jolinear the next she hated herself for hurting Jolinear. None of this made sense.
'We must be getting near' Jolinear's comment drew both their attention to the ground which was leveling and the trees were thinning. Smoke of burring wood filled Sam's nose as noise drew her attention to the trail. Lowering herself flat onto the ground, she waited.
Rounding the corner a group of plain clothed villagers appeared talking to themselves, their voices were too low to be heard from her position. They head up the trail toward the stargate leaving them once again alone.
It didn't take long before, the village came into view and Sam's hope went up. It was more like a small town, it extended all the way along the valley floor vanishing on both sides. No way could everyone know each other, at least that was one card in her favor.
'It's bigger then I thought it would be, but there also seems to be a lot of Jaffa' Jolinear said as Sam looked through her binoculars.
'So what does that mean?'
'Well, there could be many reasons; the villagers are getting too rebellious, or another gou'ald present might be threaten this area, or…..'
'What?'
'Or Ba'al might be here'
'Great'. Sam's mind raced with the thoughts of having to battle a gou'ald without the backing of her teammates or SG Command. It wasn't a pleasant thought.
'We wouldn't be fighting him, Tok'ra don't work that way. We can't use blunt force.'
'Well, that good because we don't have any help from either my people or yours' An odd nervousness filled her and she knew it was coming from Jolinear. 'What else aren't you telling me?'
'It nothing, we should be going. Be careful Sam' Sam dropped the question, if there was something Jolinear wasn't saying that was her choice. After all she had been the one who wanted Jolinear to keep her thoughts and feeling to herself. Still, what was she hiding from her?
As they moved around the village in a clock wise fashion, Sam quickly grew to the decision it would be best to wait until night before getting too close. Much of area had only limited cover and dozens of people were out working the fields. If they could get through the fields to the heart of town and find a change of cloths, it seem likely it wouldn't be to hard to mingling with the locals. As long as no one recognize her as a member of SG-1. There was no way to know if some of these people or Jaffa hadn't seen or encounter her team before.
From there they would have to find the lab and figure out a way to contact Martouf, without rising suspicious. Jolinear had empathized that point, that at all cost they must not give away he was a Tok'ra,to the point of annoying Sam, who reminded her she wasn't a child and understood the idea of not reveling a spy.
Finding a place out of the way she stopped near a rock outcropping that gave her good cover. Sam rested in the shade while keeping alert for anyone approaching. As she tired to rest Sam found her self feeling more and more filled with anxiety and worry though some of it was her own, she quickly realized it was mostly Jolinear.
'What's your problem, aren't you use to this kind of thing?'
'It doesn't make it any less easy' She wasn't saying something Sam was sure of that. What it was she had no clue. So she just said, 'Well calm down your making me feel like this is my first mission'
'I'm trying but blocking my feelings and thoughts from you is very difficult. No wonder the host of gou'alds usually have so much knowledge'
'You can remove them?' Carter mind went to Daniel's wife Sha're, who had been taken as host by Apophis queen.
'Yes, we might be able to save her, if we can find her and convince the council to aid us. I am sure I could put in good word for you' Sam heart raced with excitement, maybe something good could come out of this after all. A silence passed between them before the nervousness returned.
'You want to talk about it?'
'No' Jolinear voice was harsh catching her off guard. Whatever was putting the Tok'ra on edge seem personal. Letting it drop Sam glance at the sun, it was still a good few hours from setting. Somehow she knew Jolinear wanted to talk to her or maybe share her concerns, but was determined to do as Sam wished.
Which was good, now if she could keep her feelings to herself. The feelings didn't diminish though, rather they intesified as the minutes ticked by. Suddenly an image flashed into her mind of the man she quickly realize was Martouf. His eyes were filled with such warmth and happiness, they were amazing. Pushing a golden hair strain blowing in wind back behind her ear, he leaned closer to kiss her. Her heart race, her toes curled in her shoes, as she long for warmth of his lips against hers, for the raw flood of warmth, the image vanished like a movie turned off along with it the emotions.
'Jolinear?' Golden hair? So the Nassyan man hadn't been her only host, of course not. Why had she thought that? Gou'ald took new host, why wouldn't a Tok'ra.
'Willing host. Forgive me it slipped past me and no the Nassyan man wasn't my host for less then a week, but he was willing. I don't want to talk about her'
'Fine' Sam hated it, she felt like she was a wreck of emotion yet none of them were hers.
'Bloody hell, what eating at you?'
'It nothing'
'It not nothing, I want to know. It has something to do with Martouf' Jolinear didn't respond and Sam wondered if another hour would have to pass.
'I'm worried about Martouf. If Ba'al is here, he has likely been exposed.' Like a dame gate had opened images and feeling flooded her mind. Most were fear of what might be happening to Martouf. Was he alive, was he being tortured, had Lantash been removed from Martouf? Dozen of different images filled her mind. Including some of Ba'al's torture methods and then they were gone as the door had been shut between them once again blocking Jolinear's mind from hers.
'Forgive me. I won't let that happen again. I'm not doing very good at this, I'm just so worried. The problem is he might have been revealed, he might have fled already or been captured'
'Can't we go look for someone else.'
'No! What if Martouf needs help?'
'It not my job to help him'
'You would do it for SG-1!'
'Well he isn't'
'Sam please, imagine what they would do to one of your friends. He will do ten fold to Martouf, for the gou'ald hate us more then anyone else' Sam couldn't stop form feeling bad, she was being selfish.
She would go resuce a stranger from the clutches of a gou'ald, so what difference did this make? Beside they both had symboits in their head and she been unwilling drug into this? Still, she might be his only hope. Sam sat there thinking hard over it before final making her decisions.
'fine we will go and find out' Sam felt guilt for wanting to leave a good man behind. The problem was she didn't know if he was a good man. All she could go on was vague feelings, images, and what she was told.
Still the what if it had been one of her team members had hit the mark. What if he wasn't the bad guy and had been found out. Could she actually leave him to die, no and Jolinear knew that.
"So what's the plan"
"We wait to dark, we have to get inside the city"
"Then the hard part, finding out if he been captured" The hours ticked by as Sam watched the sun slowly setting, it seems to take a life time. Luckily no one came anywhere near their hide out. Once darkness had completely covered the land and the only light emerged from the burning torches from inside the city did Sam move.
Slowly she made her way across a field, scanning for any Jaffa or villager who might look her way, but none did. Crawling behind a wall, Sam was confident the Jaffa patrol wouldn't show up for about ten minutes. Slipping along the backside of a house, Sam pondered over getting a change of clothes. Though dark, people continue to bustle up and down the streets, forcing Sam to stick to the out skirts in her search of an outfit.
'I'm not seeing anything' Sam growl mentally.
"Keep looking" Sam cut down an alley and up against a building that had no lights on. Peering in the back window she barely made out clothes in the front of what she guessed was store a through an open door.
"Seems the best choice" Jolinear remarked as Sam easily over came the primitive lock. Slipping inside she didn't turn her flashlight on, in fear that someone on the street might spot it. Pausing she listened for anyone, but it seem the owners had already left. Taking a long thick blue robe off the hook she slid them over her uniform. Checking herself over twice, she was satisfied they completely covered her, she put the hood up, hopeing it would prevent people form looking at her face directly on. Glancing at her p-90 she debated if she should return to the woods and hide it. Sam could hide it under the robes, but if she was stop or check the weapon would be a dead give away. Again, if she got in a fight it would be her best chance. Her side arm just didn't have the rounds or kick that the p-90 had. Jolinear remained quiet letting Sam decide whether to keep it. With the amount of Jaffa in the area exposure seemed high no matter what she did. Slipping it under the thick robes, she slide the strap along her right shoulder so it hung between her right arm and side. Checking to make sure it wasn't visible she finally sliped back out the way she came.
Outside she kept her face down as she emerged from the alley hood up and enter the street. No one seem to noticed or care. Continuing for two blocks she finally came to her first Jaffa guards. Both were talking loudly between each other. When neither even glanced her way she continued toward the heart of the city.
'Well so good so far' Sam thought.
'That was the easy part' Jolinear answered.
