When Merlin reached the courtyard only to find it nearly deserted, he knew right away that his day was only going to continue to deteriorate. He hefted his bag over his shoulder and marched over to the horse that had been left out for him, muttering to himself as he checked his tack and strapped down his bag.
"Excuse me; have you seen a tall blonde girl in a blue dress?" Merlin asked a guard as he passed by, and the young man paused. "She's got a really foul personality, if that helps," Merlin added bitterly, and the guard smiled.
"I was wondering why the stable boy brought out two horses and only one rider left," the man said, and Merlin felt his fists clench at his sides.
"You mean she's already gone?" he asked, and the guard nodded with a pitying look, although he still appeared to be holding back laughter. "Do you have any idea how to get to Largon?" Merlin asked desperately as he mounted his horse, anger flowing off of him in waves. How did this girl expect him to help her if she took off and left him without any idea of where her village was?
"Head east," the man said. "She took off pretty quickly, but you should be able to catch up with her soon if you hurry." Merlin nodded, shortening his reigns as he shifted slightly in his saddle.
"Thank you," he said, and the man gave him a little salute before continuing on his patrol. Merlin took a deep breath, trying in vain to alleviate at least a small fraction of his annoyance, and then took off towards the gates.
He rode at a canter for about fifteen minutes before he finally caught sight of Neela, her grey cape billowing behind her as she continued to race away from him. He thought about calling out to her but knew it wouldn't do any good; even if she did hear him, Merlin was sure she would make a point not to respond. Instead, he squeezed once with his thighs and his sensitive horse responded immediately by breaking into a gallop.
As he expected, Neela didn't slow down when it became undeniable that he'd sped up in an attempt to catch up wither. Merlin maneuvered so that he rode beside her and glanced over to see her staring straight ahead, her lips set in a grim line.
"You're going to exhaust yourself and your horse if you keep riding so fast," he huffed after a few minutes when she showed no sign of slowing her pace.
She glared over at him but pushed her hips slightly forward in her saddle and added light pressure to her reigns nonetheless, her horse slowing to a trot. Merlin did the same, finally able to take stock of his surroundings now that he didn't have to focus all of his attention on riding. They were approaching the boarder of Camelot's forests, and although the trees looked the same Merlin felt an odd tingling in his toes as they continued to ride.
Never one for silence, he desperately wanted to engage in some sort of conversation, but knew from experience that attempting to speak to Neela would only end in regret. Besides, what could he possibly talk to her about? He figured she hated him for something he must've done back when they were kids since there was no way he could've annoyed her earlier today. Bringing up their past was completely out of the question; it would only worsen her mood, he was sure.
Instead, Merlin hummed softly to himself and watched as the sun slowly made its descent. He thought he'd heard Gaius mutter something about Largon being three days away from Camelot as the physician had packed his bag, so he decided to follow behind Neela until she chose a place to make camp. After thirty more minutes of walking with no sign of stopping Merlin finally spoke up.
"We should probably make camp before it gets too dark," he called, watching as her shoulders tensed slightly at the sudden sound of his voice. Rather than let him know she'd heard, Neela simply steered her horse to the left and continued to ride. Merlin frowned but followed her, and was just about to call out again when they emerged into a small clearing and she came to a halt. Neela dismounted and Merlin followed suit, wincing upon impact when his legs stung and then tingled uncomfortably after riding for so long.
"I'll collect some wood for a fire," Merlin offered as she removed her saddle, and he headed off into the trees when Neela didn't respond. When he returned a few minutes later with an armful of wood, he saw that their two untacked horses stood tied to a tree a few yards away from Neela, who was seated on the ground.
"At least she doesn't hate my horse," Merlin muttered to himself as he stacked the wood a few feet away from her, and he thought he saw a faint a smile flicker across Neela's face before she turned away. He frowned but turned back to the twigs, and continued his work until he'd built a magnificent fire, lighting it with the flint Gaius had repeatedly instructed him to use instead of magic.
Merlin shuffled away from the fire and then sat back on his heels with a sigh. Neela crawled forward and lifted her hands to the flames, eagerly warming her fingers despite the lack of chill in the air. Merlin wondered why she was so cold at the very dawn of spring, but didn't say anything as she pulled her cloak closer around her shoulders.
After a while he honestly started to wonder if it was possible to go mad from not hearing the voice of another human being for so long; Merlin was so desperate for conversation he found himself wishing she'd insult him if only to give him something to respond to.
"Why do you hate me so much?" he blurted suddenly, and she turned towards him with a furious glare. Her thick braid swung quite close to his face as she did so, and Merlin couldn't help but think she wouldn't hesitate to use it as a weapon if he got too annoying.
He knew there was something else he'd wanted to say to her, but words refused to escape his mouth as he got his first full look at Neela; all day she'd been turned away from him or partially concealed by the hood of her cloak, and now that he could actually see her face his brain had come to a screeching halt. Her eyes were terrifyingly beautiful as they bored into his, and Merlin found he couldn't tear his gaze away from the way the dancing flames reflected in the pools of clear blue.
Merlin forgot his question entirely or why he'd asked it as he continued to stare at her; he was only aware of the fact that Neela had inexplicably reappeared in his life, and was now even more beautiful than he remembered or was really prepared for. Her clear skin seemed to glow but Merlin was sure it wasn't just from the firelight, and he wondered if it would be as soft and warm to the touch as it looked from his perspective. Of course he knew that the moment he made a move as if he was even considering touching her, she'd break his hand without hesitation.
"If you had even a drop of humanity you wouldn't have to ask," she hissed, her lips curling back as her nose scrunched up in a way that was full of rage yet still strangely enticing. Merlin frowned at her as he tried to make sense of his thoughts, and his mind took far longer than it should have to comprehend her words.
"What do you mean?" he asked in a slightly dazed tone, but Neela had already turned away by the time he'd managed to speak. She was now laying down on the grass wither back facing him and her cape wrapped tightly around her in a way that screamed "don't talk to me if you value your life". Merlin sighed and lay back on the ground, folding his arms behind his head and staring up at the sky.
He could just make out the stars despite the light and smoke of the fire obstructing his view, and he began tracing patterns in his mind, connecting the little white dots just as he and Will had as kids. He smiled as he recalled the stories they'd associated with shapes of stars that looked like bears, lions, turnips, anything really. A tear unexpectedly slid from the corner his eye as he thought of Will, his best and oldest friend. Merlin reached up and wiped away the moisture, turning on his side to watch the steady rise and fall of Neela's side as she slept.
"I hope you're happy up there, Will," he whispered, squeezing his eyes shut and willing himself to drift off to sleep so he could once again escape to that perfect land of dreams. He wanted to go to the place where he didn't have to hide his magic; where he pretended to hate the way his mother made him help her with her garden on Sundays; where Will was still alive to tease him about the quiet blonde girl he was infatuated with. Merlin wanted to go back home, and he'd discovered long ago that dreams were the only way that could ever be possible again.
