Part 3A
Willow paid the cab driver and watched as he drove away. She was suddenly getting nervous about seeing Angel. Spike was right. He would know about their affair. Would he tell anyone? Would he care?" She decided to suck it up and get on with it. She slowly walked up to the doors of Angel Investigations and walked in.
Willow looked around the lobby expecting to see someone, but it didn't look like anyone was around. She looked at her watch and noticed it was almost ten. "Hello" she called out but no one answered. She expected at least one person to be here. They did want her to come up with the book. "Hello" she tried again, this time a little louder.
"Can I help you?" A tall black man asked coming out of an office.
"Um, yeah, I'm looking for Angel. This is Angel Investigations, right?"
"That's us. Angel is…busy at the moment. Can I help you?"
"I just had something for him." Willow saw the confused look. "Sorry, I'm Willow. From Sunnydale"
"Willow? Oh, you're the one who d…brought the book." He caught himself and they both noticed. "I'm Gunn." He said extending his hand.
"Nice to meet you" Will said politely
"You too; I thought you were going to call. I was going to pick you up."
"I was going to call from the bus but fell asleep on the way up. I just got a cab instead of waiting."
"Understandable. Angel should be around later. You know the whole vampire hours"
"Vampire" Willow asked surprised and laughed at Gunn's shocked expression. "Just kidding"
Gunn laughed. "Thought so, you did say Sunnydale." He smiled. "Did you eat yet, because if you didn't you could come with me and Fred? We were leaving shortly to get some breakfast." Willow was about to answer when Gunn said, "Here she is now."
"She" Willow said more to herself.
"Fred, this is Willow from Sunnydale." Gunn introduced.
"It's nice to meet you." Fred said holding out her hand. Willow smiled and shook it. "Charles and I were going for breakfast. Did he already invite you because if he didn't that would have been rude?"
"He did invite me, but I'll stay behind. I don't want to intrude."
"Nonsense" Fred said. "We would be happy to have you. Any friend of Angel's is a friend of ours."
"Yeah, besides, Angel won't be up for a few hours. We could show you around." Gunn said.
"We could go shopping." Fred said happily.
Willow tried to smile at Fred but found she couldn't. "I would like to, but I don't have any money on me."
"We could stop at a bank if you need to." Fred suggested.
"I don't think that would work either." Willow said quietly
"How..."
"Fred" Gunn cut her off
"What? I was just…" She looked down embarrassed. "I'm sorry."
"Don't worry about it. I'll just stick around here." Willow insisted.
"No you won't." Gunn said. "Angel isn't the only one who believes in chivalry around here."
The three of them were sitting in a diner eating breakfast. It was slightly uncomfortable. It was a pretty quiet meal before Willow spoke.
"So where are Cordelia and Wesley? I haven't seen them in a long time." Willow said.
Gunn and Fred looked at each other before Gunn answered. "Cordelia is in Mexico with her boyfriend. Wesley…Wesley isn't really around anymore."
"Lucky Cordelia" Willow said. "What about Wesley?"
I don't think that's really for us to say. If you want to know you should talk to Angel." Fred said.
Gunn decided to change the subject before it went further. "How's Sunnydale?"
"Good…" Willow answered. "Xander and Anya are getting married. Buffy is still slaying and teaching Dawn self defense. Giles is still the watcher. Spike is Spike." Willow finished. "Did any of that mean anything to you?"
"Slaying" Gunn answered before putting more food in his mouth.
Gunn and Fred decided to show Willow some of the sites in LA before heading back to the hotel. When they did return back it was after four.
They entered the hotel to see Angel sitting on the couch. When he saw Willow he immediately stood up and went over to her. He smiled before pulling her into a hug. Willow hugged him back with a smile on her face.
"I can't believe you're here. It's so good to see you." He whispered.
"Here I am. It's good to see you too, Angel." They stood there for a moment before Willow went into her bag. "Here's the book you wanted."
"Thank you." Angel said taking it from her.
Willow looked at him expectantly. "Can I ask what it's for?"
"We'll be…around." Gunn said pulling Fred with him.
Angel and Willow watched as they left and then Angel turned back to Willow. "Demons…and portals" He said cryptically. "How are you doing Willow?" he asked trying to change the subject.
"I'm fine." It was Angels turn to look expectant. "Don't throw around vague answers if you don't want them back."
"Willow what I'm going through; I don't think you can help. But I can help you. I've been there…literally."
"I seriously doubt that." She muttered.
"I was there. You know that."
Willow looked at him. "I'll tell if you tell."
"Willow I don't think…"
She cut him off. "Does it have to do with Wesley?"
"What did they tell you?"
"If I wanted to know I would have to ask you."
"Yeah well…" Angel let out an unnecessary sigh. "Come upstairs. Willow looked at him quizzically. "Do you want to know what's going on?"
The first thing Willow saw when she entered Angel's room was the crib.
"Angel…"
"I had a son."
"How"
Angel then went in about everything that happened to him since Darla came back. "I know it sounds weird and impossible…" He let his last line hang.
"Angel…weird would be me and Xander getting married and having children in the suburbs."
Angel let out a huff. "Yeah, Xander is pretty weird."
"I just don't get Wesley. I mean, he didn't mean it."
"Yeah, well, my son's life is still over."
Silence fell over the two for a little while until Willow stood up. "I think I should get going." She began to walk to the door.
Angel was caught off guard and it took a minute to register. "Hey wait." He said getting up. He cut her off before she reached the door. "What happened to I tell you tell."
Willow let out a sigh. "What do you want to know?"
"How are you doing? Honestly."
"Honestly?" Willow repeated sitting down. Angel nodded. "I'm miserable. I'm just so confused about everything. Everything is the same but it feels so different. It's like I'm watching life from the sideline. Physically I'm weaker than I've ever been. I can't even do a locator spell without passing out. I can barely dust a fledgling." Willow let her head rest in her hands.
Angel sat down next to her. "It takes time getting used to being back." He put his arm around her and let her head rest on his shoulder. "Its only been a few months. Your strength will come back." Angel assured her. "You are strong Willow and you have friends there to help you."
"They've helped enough."
He didn't expect the hint of bitterness in her voice. "What do you mean?"
"Nothing" She muttered standing. Angel pulled her down. "Angel…"
"Why did you say that like that?"
"I'm upset. I didn't mean it to sound like that." She said pulling her small hands out of Angel's larger ones. She got up and quickly headed to the door. She almost made it but Angel cut her off. "Please move."
"Don't lie to me Willow. I'm not Buffy or Xander. I can see through the fake lies" Willow stared at him. "Yeah, I've tossed around words that make others happy a few times before. What did you mean back there?" He asked again, a little more forceful. "Why don't you sound happy and thankful to be out of Hell?"
"Because I'm in Hell right now" Willow finally broke. "Are you happy now? I'm in a living Hell because my friends missed me."
"Willow…"
"I was in Heaven, Angel. I was happy. I knew that everything would be okay. Now I'm back here and all I see and feel is pain."
Angel fell into a chair in shock. "I'm sorry" was all he could come up with.
"Me too" she said quietly sitting across from him.
Neither said anyting else for the next hour. They stayed in their own thoughts until there was a knock at the door. Angel got up to answer it.
"Yeah" He said to Gunn.
"Fred and I were going to get dinner. We wanted to know if Willow had any preferences."
"I'll ask…"
"I don't want you to spend any more of your money on me. I'll find something here." Willow said from behind.
"Pizza it is" Gunn said before heading off
Angel was about to close the door when Willow stopped him. "Which room can I stay in tonight?"
"You can have your pick."
"Thank you."
She was about to leave when Angel touched her arm. "They were only trying to help."
"So was Wesley."
An hour later the four were sitting in the lobby finished their pizza. The conversation flow was almost nonexistent. Besides Willow and Angel not looking at each other, they wouldn't say more than one word at a time.
"I'm getting kind of tired. I'm going to head up." Willow said standing. "Thank you for dinner and breakfast.
"Night Willow"
"See you in the morning."
Willow turned to Angel. "Night Angel"
"Night" He murmured
Fred and Gunn watched as Willow walked up the stairs. Gunn turned to Angel when Willow was out of view. "Is everything alright, man?"
Angel nodded in acknowledgement before standing and following Willow. When Willow opened the door for him he asked, "Can I come in?" He wasn't expecting her to say no. "Well that's too bad because…" he pushed his way through, "…I'm in." He saw Willows confused expression. "You're spending the night, not living here. Nice try though."
"What do you want, Angel?" Willow asked closing her door but leaving her hand resting on the handle.
"Does anyone else know?"
"No," She opened the door. "Now can you please leave? I'm tired."
Angel walked to the door, but instead of walking through it, he slammed it shut causing Willow to jump. He was tired of the circuitous talk. He grabbed her arm and pushed her against the door. "Does he know?"
"Does who know what?" Willow asked defiantly
He gave a dark smile. "Is this how you have your fun; pissing people off?"
Willow could see the anger building in his eyes, but she didn't care. "Maybe it is!" She yelled. "Why do you care?" She tried to push him off but, like Spike, he was too strong.
"I have no idea. I should stop because you obviously don't want help." He said with a push then let her go.
'Then maybe you should stop."
"Is that what you really want?" Willow tried to answer but found that she couldn't. "What was that? I couldn't hear you."
When Willow finally found her voice she asked, "Are you going to tell?"
Angel thought for a moment before simply saying, "Yes"
Willow nodded. "Fine"
A second after she said that Angel had her pushed against the wall again. "You really don't care, do you?" Angel could see and smell the fear creeping up in her. He just tightened his grip on her more. "Are you really that dead on the inside." He asked barely above a whisper. "Do you care about anything?"
"What should I care about?" Willow asked lowly. "Tell me Angel. Should I care about everything I don't have? Should I care about my friends who pass me around to others for help instead of trying to help me their selves? Should I care that they want to pretend that everything is just peachy? Should I care about my parents who I will never see because they think I'm dead? Should I care about my grades? Oh wait, I'm not in school anymore. I'm dead and I have no money! My job, wait…no, I never had and never will have one. Do you know why Angel? Do you?" Angel didn't answer, but he did let her go. "I don't care because I'm dead. I could show you the death certificate if you want." Willow waited for Angel to say something but he never did. "What's wrong Angel; nothing to say? Did you not expect that? Did you think I was helpless and that you could fix me? Well guess what? You can't." Willow stopped to catch her breath then started again. "Do you know what its like to be dead?" She smiled. "I guess you do." Willow knew she should stop but she wanted to hurt him. She wanted him to leave her alone. "You've been dead for over two hundred years. Almost a hundred of those you had to redeem yourself. You were doing a good job to until you turned you back on those lawyers."
"Stop" Angel growled at her.
"What about the baby…your baby?" She saw his eyes glow. "You couldn't protect him. Some father you…"
"Shut up!"
"…are…were! "Willow let out a humorless laugh then turned to leave. "You can't…" She was cut off by Angels arm snaking painfully around her waist and hand grabbing her shoulder. "Let go." She tried
"What's wrong? Are you scared?" Angel rested his chin on her shoulder. "I know you are. I can smell it." He said dangerously. "I may have a soul, but that scent drives me crazy."
"Angel…"
"Shut up." He shook her. "It's my turn now. You may think your in pain and have no control, but you do. Its sad to see you like this, wasting your life…being weak." He slid his hand around her neck then down her shoulder and arm. "Maybe your words would mean something…." He spun her around and made sure she was looking in his eyes. "…if you weren't so sad and broken." Angel waited a moment. "What's wrong Willow, nothing to say?" He could feel how tense she was. "Not so strong, are you?"
The room was deathly silent when Angel finished his tirade. The two stood staring at each other for what seemed like eternity. Willow tried to move but Angel would let her. Instead, he slowly lowered his head to hers. He placed a kiss on her lips then pulled away and looked in her eyes. He then lowered again and the kiss was tentative and slow until Willow started to kiss back. It wasn't long before Angel pushed her towards his room and then down on his bed.
Willow woke up in the middle of the night and sat up in the bed. It took her moment to remember what happened. She looked to make sure Angel was still sleeping before wrapping a sheet abound herself and getting out of bed. She quietly went out on the balcony and leaned against the rail. She looked up to the sky and thought about the day. She jumped when she heard a voice behind her.
"Are you okay?" She turned to see Angel behind her only in a sheet around his waist. "Don't worry, I'm not Angelus." He assured her. He then moved to stand next to her. "What are you thinking about?"
"This last day and how different it went." Willow looked down. "I didn't mean what I said about you not protecting…"
Angel lifted her chin so she was looking at him. "Hey, don't worry about it. I think we both said things we didn't mean. We were both angry."
"Spike knows."
"I know, but why him?"
"I guess because he's the only who really understands. He's the only one there who is dead. I guess we could relate. He's the only one who really helped."
"I can understand that." Angel nodded. "If he ever hurts you, phys…well emotionally, just tell me. I don't mind tossing him around a little." Angel noticed the look on her face. "He hasn't hurt you right?"
"No more than you have tonight."
"Willow, what I said…"
"Not just words Angel." Willow turned to him. "I know you can feel it. I'm wrong…different. So many other vamps have noticed it too. They won't even bite me. Once one did draw blood but stopped. He said I tasted dead."
"What does this have to do with Spike?"
"The chip doesn't work on me."
"You're normal Willow." Angel insisted. "You're not wrong."
"I guess in Sunnydale standards I am." Willow finally let the tears fall.
Angel pulled her into his arms and held her. He lifted her into his arms and carried her back to the bed and laid her down. He then crawled behind her and pulled the blankets up. "Get some rest." He whispered. He held her until the sobs stopped and she fell asleep. "Everything will turn out right…I promise."
Part 3B
When Willow first opened her eyes she saw rays of sunlight entering the room. She smiled a little before remembering where she was. "Angel!" she yelled as she jumped up to close the blinds.
Angel was lying in bed next to Willow, out of the suns path, when she screamed. He quickly jumped up causing him self to enter the rays. He growled and fell backwards onto the floor with a loud thud. Willow quickly closed the blinds and turned to Angel. She blushed and smiled apologetically. "Are you okay?" He asked her.
"Yeah, I just saw the sun and thought…" she looked down embarrassed.
Angel stood up. "Don't worry about it." He looked around the room. "So"
"So" Willow finally looked at him. "Um…Angel" She indicated downward.
Angel looked down and then quickly grabbed a blanket. "Sorry" Angel saw Willow blush. "There's a first." He said with a small smile.
"What" she asked
"You blushed…for the second time in five minutes."
"So…"
"You used to do that more often when you were younger. It's the first time you've done it since you've been here."
"Its only been a day."
"Still…it's nice to see."
"Well, thank you, I think."
"Your welcome, I think."
Willow smiled again before saying. "I think I…we should get dressed." She began to gather her clothes. She looked for a clock, but couldn't find it. "Do you know what time it is?"
Willow walked to the other room and pulled on some pants before looking at the clock. "Wow, it's a little past one. What time does your bus leave?"
Willow walked into the room pulling her shirt down. "It leaves at noon." She said running her fingers through her hair then stopped. "Damn, it left already." Willow fell on the couch. "The next doesn't leave until Monday."
"Why don't you just stay here until the sun sets and then I'll drive you home?" Angel suggested.
"Angel, you've already don't enough for me. I don't want to…"
"Great, so to repay me you'll fix my computer. It keeps on shutting down on me."
"Angel…"
"Willow, how much money do you have?"
"I have…I have…" She went to her purse and pulled out her wallet. "I have nothing." She said quietly. "I used the money I had on the bus and cab. "It wasn't even my money. It was from Giles."
Angel watched as Willow threw the wallet to the ground. He could see she was getting upset and rushed to her side. "Hey, hey…it's okay"
"No its not" She pulled away from him. "I'm completely broke. Not the completely broke like I have money in the bank, I mean no money whatsoever." She rested her head in her hands. "I need some on my own."
"Giles and the others, including me, are there to help and support you. We know this is hard for you."
"Great, so I'll be on welfare for the next fifty years until I die. That's what every girl wants." She looked up. "Don't you think that will get boring?"
"You help save the world everyday." Angel pointed out.
"Buffy still pays bills." Willow countered
"Willow, everything…"
"Angel, you didn't want me to lie to you, please don't lie to me."
"Truth, Willow?" Angel asked and she nodded. "The truth is, is that it is going to be hard. It's going to be harder than anything you've ever done. You are going to have to find an alternative way to living. Most vampires and demons do."
"Just who I always wanted to be like" She muttered
Angel ignored her comment and continued on. "You haven't grown up in the most normal circumstances. I know you can do it. I said it before and I'll say it again, you're strong. You're stronger than you give yourself credit for. It will be hard, but you will persevere."
"I'm not Buffy."
"Why does that matter?"
"She's the slayer. She's naturally strong. If this was happening to her I bet she would be dealing with it better." Willow said.
Angel hated when Willow put herself down like that. "I'm sure she would be doing the same. You may not be the slayer, but you are strong."
"Do you really call strong giving in to a vampire and confining in him instead of best friends? I gave in to two vampires."
"You did." Angel admitted. "But that's understandable and forgivable."
"I slept with my best friend's ex-love of her life. How is that forgivable?"
"It is Willow. We aren't together anymore." Angel looked down and asked something he wasn't sure he should. "Willow, what happened last night, was that more to you than it was me?"
"No, Angel I don't love you. I mean I love you, but I'm not in love with you."
"At least we're on the same place on that subject."
"Only in our lives can the subject of sex be solved so easily. I guess we both gave in to some sort of weakness."
Angel could see this was going back to her strength and stopped her before she could go on more. "You're strong Willow. You've been fighting demons since high school. You helped destroy a Hell God and opened a portal with your blood. You gave up life for the good of others. I think that puts you up more as a hero." Angel grabbed her hand. "I didn't even get to the part of you being a powerful witch." He could see she was about to protest. "You asked me if you seemed off to me…different. You were right too, because I sense power coming off you that I never felt before. It's more powerful than anything I've felt in awhile. Maybe more so that Buffy."
"I can't even do a locator spell."
"When was the last time you tried?"
"A few months ago"
"None since"
"None"
"Why don't you try again?"
"Why, so I could pass out again?"
A knock on the interrupted them. As Angel got up to answer it he said, "If you won't even try again, then that is truly weak."
Angel, Gunn, and Fred went out to fight a demon leaving Willow behind to fix the computer. It turned out he had a simple virus on it. It barely took any time to fix it. Willow was about to make herself a sandwich when the three demon hunters came into the lobby. Angel quickly pulled Willow back into his office.
"I take it it didn't go well?"
"One of the demons got away." Angel closed the door. "I need your help."
Willow knew where this was going. "Angel I told you…"
"Please, you have to try. If you don't innocent people could get hurt."
Willow let out a defeated sigh. "Let's get going."
A half hour later Willow was staring at a blank map. Angel noticed her disappointed face. "What?"
"I didn't work. There's nothing on the map. That means it didn't work or the demon doesn't exist."
"Can not exist…mean dead?" Angel asked.
"It could, why?" Willow asked suspiciously
Angel smiled. "Demons dead, Willow…and look…" He indicated toward her. "You're standing and talking and not passing out. I think that's what you call improvement.
Willow wasn't smiling at Angel's confession. "You mean you lied to me? You said someone could get hurt." She pointed an angry finger at him. "I did a spell…" Willow paused. "I did a spell." She finally smiled. "Thank you Angel."
"No problem, Willow. Now go get your stuff. We're wasting moonlight."
TBC
