To: Lance Serrano
77 Blue Avenue
Altea West
14569MA
Dear Lance,
I really, really like you. You've got pretty eyes and a real nice smile. I think you're the sweetest boy in sixth grade. I want to hold hands with you and kiss you. The charm you gave me was really cute. I look it at it every day.
You looked really sad when Jenny yelled at you the other day. I don't think you're useless. You're so good at sports. I wish I could learn to swim like you. Maybe you'd notice me then.
I think my class' pet lizard reminds me of you; it's really cute. In a creepy, hideous sort of way. Like you, Lance.
All my love,
Pidge
Katie jolted from her nap as the Skype ringtone from her laptop blared by her ear. It was Matt. She sighed and slammed the laptop shut, knowing full well what it would do to her brother.
But she just could not talk to him. Not when the chaos had just begun to unfold. It had started with Hunk on the third day of school.
"Pidge? I got this weird letter that says it's from you. I don't want to be insensitive or anything, but is this a prank or something?"
"Hunk, I wrote that when I was fourteen. It means nothing now."
The boy had the gall to look affronted, but he recovered with a loud, hearty laugh.
"Of course, I knew it can't be real. Not with the way you pine after Lance."
Katie groaned and buried her face in her hands. Did everyone in the galaxy know?
"I'm done for Hunk. Matt sent them out."
"Sent what out?"
"The letters!"
A knock on the door had both turning to the intruder. Blue-grey eyes looked apprehensively at them before resting evenly on Pidge. She audibly gulped, it was not every day the resident juvenile delinquent of their school made an appearance.
"You. We need to talk." He lifted his hand, where he held a pastel pink envelope.
Hunk snorted and lifted his own yellow one. "We should start a club, buddy. The Ex-Crushes Club?"
Keith's eyebrow raised at that, but he looked a lot less tense than he was before.
"So, it is a joke?"
"Yes, yes, it is."
She cut Hunk off before he could implicate her. The boy looked suspicious but gave in and left the room. Katie slumped in her chair in relief.
"Well, that's two of you down."
"There's more? Dang Pidge, I didn't know you were this much of a player."
She frowned as her friend chuckled at her expense.
Her phone buzzed, and she took several deep breaths before daring a peek at her screen. Her shoulders slumped slightly, realising it wasn't who she thought it was.
Matt: Pidge, I know you're mad. But please let me explain.
She sighed and made to put down her phone, only it vibrated again.
Matt: Let me know when you're ready to talk to me.
Matt: I love you baby sis.
Katie sighed and fell back onto her bed. Her eyes found the glow-in-the-dark space-themed stickers Matt had pasted on her ceiling when she was small and afraid of the dark. For the most part - and it really was the most - Matt was an amazing brother. She knew she would forgive him eventually, but it was not going to be any time soon.
It was only going to be a matter of time before Lance received his. And quiznack which one would he receive first?
Her heart jumped as the house echoed with the doorbell.
Oh no.
She bolted out of bed, stuffed her laptop into her backpack and grabbed her jacket. As she hastily climbed out of the window ledge of her bedroom, her feet slipped. She yelped as she tumbled down the roof and landed unceremoniously onto the bushes below.
"Katherine Lucia Holt what in the world were you thinking?" Her father and Allura rushed out of the patio where Romelle held back snorts of laughter.
"Goodness Pidge! Are you hurt?" Allura was by her side, pulling her out of the bushes.
"I'm…fine." She managed a groan as she sat up. Her first thought went to her computer and she desperately hoped her newly modified laptop was spared. Katie herself, however, was in fact not fine. Her body was mostly alright; it seemed to shake a little from the shock. But the worst of her damages were to her bruised ego.
"Were you so excited to see us that you had to jump out of your window?" Romelle quipped as she bumped by Katie's side. Allura reached up and picked a stray leaf from her hair.
"I…I thought you guys were someone else." She mumbled glumly.
"Are you being stalked?" Allura's hand rested firmly on her shoulder, stopping the trio from walking. They'd reached the entrance to Sal's Pizzeria - their usual afterschool lair.
"What? No!"
Bright blue eyes watched her in concern but Allura's hand eventually dropped. "Then what were you running away from?"
Katie wasn't listening anymore; someone was watching her from inside. He took a long drag of his chocolate milkshake and gave her a wink. His hand lifted in what she thought was a wave, but instead, gripped between his fingers, was a pale blue envelope.
Her throat closed as she gulped hard.
"Him."
First her brother, then her father, now her friends. Why was everyone betraying her?
"One peanut butter milkshake for the lady and garlic knots for the gentleman. Pizza will be out in a minute."
"Thanks Sal." she mumbled, pulling the tall glass towards her.
"Smells amazing as usual Sal." Lance grinned, pushing the basket of freshly made knots her way. She made a point to ignore it.
At the very least, the boy had the good graces to wait for the diner owner to walk away before breaking the silence.
"So uh, Romelle and Allura are really nice."
"Yeah, real nice" she grumbled with the straw between her lips, shooting a death glare over Lance's shoulder to the booth behind them. The two girls giggled behind their own milkshakes, doing everything in their power not to burst out into gaudy chortling.
He hid a smile by biting his lip and Katie gulped. Did he know the kind of invisible power he held over her?
"I guess I should be direct with you…regarding this." He lifted the envelope again. Her fingers twitched with the need to reach across the table and snatch it from him.
"Please." She kept her voice calm. Betray no emotion, give him no power over them.
"I'm…flattered-" Her heart dropped then; why did it? She didn't want him to reciprocate.
"- but I just broke up with Jenny and it's just-"
"Lance Serrano, I assure you, I'm not trying to date you." She amazed herself with how flat her delivery was.
Lance, on the other hand, looked plainly confused.
"No?" His voice garbled through the garlic knots stuffed in his mouth.
"Here ya go. One spinach, ricotta and sundried tomatoes pizza. Have fun kids." The knowing wink he gave them made Katie blush.
The table shook, and it took her a while to realise that Lance's leg was nudging it nervously. He sighed and sat forward to cut the pizza. As Pidge took a sip of her milkshake, she watched Lance as he served a slice for her. It looked like an ingrained habit for him – taking care of others before himself.
"Were you going to elaborate…?" Lance sucked tomato sauce from his finger and munched on a fresh slice, dark blue eyes watching her carefully. She'd wondered what it would feel like to kiss away the sauce that clung to his top lip.
"Earth to Pidge?" She snapped into attention.
"…It's not for you." The lame excuse she'd formed the night before wasn't going to work in this scenario and sure enough, Lance just looked at her with a raised eyebrow.
"So here's the thing-" Katie adjusted her glasses and sat up straight. Lance matched her, already devouring another slice.
"- I don't actually like you. I just had to make it look like I liked you. That way, they won't think that I like them. It's simple triangulation."
"So, who's it for?"
"What?"
"Who's this mystery stud that caught the attention of the enigmatic Katie Holt?" She hated how his eyebrows wiggled. He didn't look convinced one bit.
"Keith."
Lance went deathly silent. She dared a peek to his face.
"Keith?" He sat back against the velvet upholstery. The expression on his face was so unreadable it drove Katie mad.
"So… it's Keith that you are in love with." She winced at that. Love was not a word to be used lightly but she supposed being pedantic about it now wasn't going to work in her favour.
"Correct" she quipped, knowing full well that she was lying through her teeth. She hid her smile by taking a sip of her shake.
"I wrote him a letter too, so you can imagine how awkward things are going to be for me as is."
"Whoa there. The Mullet got a letter too?"
If Katie didn't know any better, Lance actually sounded jealous.
"Well, I wrote…a lot of letters. To you, to Hunk, Keith, a few others you probably don't know."
"Hunk? Your best friend?" Suddenly, he didn't look too confident anymore. It both relieved her and saddened her. In the back of her mind, she wondered how he knew that.
"In my defence, I was vulnerable."
"And we all know that's a rare occasion for you." He dodged a flying garlic knot and laughed. She forgot how much she loved the sound of that. But his taunts weren't over.
"Then let's date."
It took her several seconds to recover from choking on her milkshake.
"That...does not compute."
Lance leaned forward and gave her a dark smile that made her want to swoon like a medieval maiden. There was the mischievous glint in his eyes that made her forget to breathe.
"Let me help you catch your man."
The awestruck expression in her face probably gave him enough clues to know that she didn't believe a word he was saying.
"Look, I know Keith. If you want to bag a guy like him, you have to make him jealous. And what better way to do that than with me? The most eligible bachelor of Altea?"
She rolled her eyes at that. Katie was certain Lance knew nothing about Keith. There was a one-sided rivalry to the two, however, and she hoped she wasn't going to be part of a ploy to that.
"What about Jenny Shay-bon?" The name made him shift in his seat that Katie regretted saying it immediately.
"Jen won't care. She's after that new guy. Kinkade? I think that's his name" she detected an undercurrent of hurt in his voice. But she wasn't aware Jenny had broken up with Lance.
"Well, whatever it is, it's a terrible idea. Absolutely no one will buy it." A hand closed over hers almost immediately before she could leave the booth.
"You're with Loverboy Lance now, hermosa. I will be your love tutor and you will be my other kind of boring tutor. It just works!"
If Katie was going to spend more time with him, she was going to have to grow the fuck up and not allow her brain to short circuit every time he grabbed her hand and purred in Spanish.
"So…" His fingers twined around hers, he pulled it to his lips and pressed a kiss to her knuckles.
Oh, she was done for.
"…what do you say?"
The restaurant door jingled as Lance opened the door for her.
"Come back soon you two!"
"He seems pretty convinced." Lance raised an eyebrow in a manner that read I told you so.
"Well, Sal's not the one we're trying to convince, are we?" she hissed. It was not her intention to sound harsh, but the situation was making it very hard for her brain to function. She turned around, trying to catch a glimpse of her supposed friends, but they had disappeared some time midway into her and Lance's negotiations.
His hand came around hers and he clasped it gently. Her younger self would have fainted upon first contact, but she stood her ground. It was as warm as she thought it would be, and her hand felt smaller still in his.
"There's no one to see us here" she grumbled reluctantly, shoving her other hand into her jacket's pocket. Katie wasn't sure, but she could have sworn a smile twitched on his lips.
"You'll never know."
As soon as the warmth of his hand permeated to her own, Katie jerked her hand away from him; her heart pounded in her chest. He stood far too close to her.
"I've not made up my mind yet, Lance."
"Sure, Pidgey. And, where are you headed now?"
"Home?"
"Where's your car?"
"I walked here."
She must have sprouted an extra head with the way Lance looked at her. "No girlfriend of mine is walking home."
She scoffed at that. "I live like ten minutes away and need I remind you that I am not your girlfr-…"
"Car's right by the corner."
He'd already thrown an arm around her – Katie forgot how tall he could be sometimes – and semi-tugged her in its direction. An old, but obviously well-loved dark blue convertible Mustang came into view. She felt her heart sink to her sneakers.
"This old girl is Blue" he grinned as he opened the passenger door for her.
"Dad let me name her. You can tell I put a lot of thought into it."
Katie didn't miss the thinly-veined pain in his eyes despite his smile. She'd have to bring up his father at some point, but she had no sense of when an appropriate time was. As she dipped into the seat, he closed the door after her. As soon as he turned on the engine, the car filled with the soft croons of a Spanish singer.
"You're awfully quiet, Pidge."
She turned to look over at him. He didn't seem bothered and his eyes trained on the road.
"I…I don't talk much-" she didn't want to add that it was out of fear of boring him with her ramblings that were usually boring to the average teenager, but something about being in his father's car made her feel vulnerable enough to add, "-it usually bores people anyway."
"Well, most people are boring. Not you, Pidgey."
"You're just saying that to be nice."
He shook his head, a frown creasing on his brows as he glanced over at her for a brief moment.
"I think it was…your freshman year? You won the regional debate on the positive economic impact on space travel investment" she flushed at the memory. Her strong feelings on space travel made her a very avid orator that day.
"Never seen someone so… passionate. It even made me switch over to applying for the Garrison's Pilot program rather than the Cadets. It's more competitive but…I forgot how much I loved space as a kid."
They'd pulled into her driveway then and Lance reached forward to switch off the radio. In the silence between them, Katie wondered if he could hear how hard her heart was thumping.
"…I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Bye."
There had to be a world record for the time she took to get out of his car. She hugged her backpack to her chest and dashed into her home.
7 years prior
"Hey, you okay?"
Katie lifted her head and sniffled. She wiped an arm across her eyes and squinted up at the figure hovering over her. The boy looked familiar – it was his eyes that made her remember. She saw him at the neighbourhood swimming complex when her mother tried to teach her to swim. He'd dove into the pool without hesitation and retrieved her sunken swimming goggles for her.
"Oh! I remember you! -" She watched as a wide grin formed on his face; just as a strange sensation sprang from within her chest.
"-You're the girl that was too scared to get into the water."
"I wasn't scared!" she insisted with a huff, suddenly forgetting why she was even crying. The boy laughed, but not in a way that made her feel icky.
"It's okay. My big brother was a little scared too. But he got used to it and he takes me there every week now!" Without thinking much of it, he plopped himself right next to her.
"Did the mean kids pull your hair again?" His voice came softer and Katie looked at him in surprise but only gave a nod in response. How did he know?
"They only do that 'cause they're jealous."
Katie scoffed at that and folded her legs. "Of what? I don't have anything they need."
Lance looked at her incredulously. "You're the smartest person in school! Your brains! That's what they need."
"No one cares about that...Nobody wants a nerd for a friend." Her voice trailed off at the end as she rested her chin on her knees, hugging her legs closer to her chest.
"I'd be your friend." He turned to her fully, eyes trained on her and his tone insistent.
She didn't know why her face suddenly turned warm. It was as though she stood too close to the Bunsen burner. He shifted next to her and Katie watched him from the corner of her eye. A thought crossed his dark blue eyes and he pulled off his backpack. He rummaged around in it, tongue sticking out in concentration until his fingers grasped the object he was looking for.
"Girls like shiny things, right? I hope this makes you feel better! Jenny hated it, but I think you'd like it."
It was a little silver charm, a tiny video game controller. Katie turned it over in her fingers curiously.
"It's pretty." she mumbled shyly.
"I heard you're really good at video games. Maybe we should play it together some time!"
"Lance? Where are you?" The sudden deep baritone of an adult's voice made Katie jump.
"Under the bleachers papá!"
The man's head peered underneath, and his eyes rested evenly on Katie. A brow rose at her reddened eyes.
"Mijo, I sincerely hope you're not responsible for this young lady's tears." His head disappeared, and he walked around the bleachers to face his son sternly. He kept his voice level.
"He was trying to cheer me up." She spoke up softly, her eyes diverted away as the man turned to her in surprise. "He's been nice to me. I promise."
"Nathan and Peter were bullying her again." He crossed his arms, looking frustrated. Lance's father looked over to her in concern. He was intimidatingly tall and would have been a scary figure, but his eyes were kind and his voice was gentle.
"Do you want me to tell a teacher sweetheart? This is serious." Katie shook her head furiously, her pony tail almost whipping Lance across the cheek.
"It really isn't. I'll be fine."
"I'll protect her!" Lance quipped with an arm thrown around her shoulders. She turned to him in surprise; her cheeks were strangely warm again.
"Ah, well then. Good on you." He went over to ruffle his son's hair. "But child, the moment I catch wind of this again, I'd have to inform your parents. Know that I only do that because I want you to be safe." She finally lifted her head towards him and nodded mutely. He tilted his head and recognition crossed his features.
"You're Sam's daughter, aren't you? You have your mother's eyes." He smiled warmly at her, Lance had his smile. "Y'know, I knew a little boy that was a lot like you. Ridiculously smart but very, very shy. He got called names a lot, but he never let it get to him."
He bent down so his eyes could be level with hers.
"Now he's a successful scientist with a beautiful, intelligent daughter. Who, I hope, would have enough faith in herself to know she's better than some meddlesome bullies."
Katie - still flustered by the arm that squeezed around her - gave a meek nod in response.
"Here we are. Don't forgot to call your brother, sweetheart. Don't want him panicking when you're not in school."
"Of course. Thanks, Mr Serrano!"
"Anytime dear. Oh, and Katie?" She paused just as she was about to close the car door.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Her eyes lit up with recognition and she smiled wide. Her mother had taught her the quote too.
"I knew you'd recognise it. Live by it."
"Bye Katie! See you in school!"
Lance gave her a winning smile and waved the entire time from the backseat till Mr. Serrano's Mustang disappeared from view.
"Ready for bed, Kitty?" Collen poked her head into her daughter's room.
"Almost, Mom."
"What are you up to?" Hearing her mother step into her room, Katie slammed her diary shut and shoved it under her pillow. She heard a soft chuckle behind her as her mother sat on the foot her bed.
"Something interesting happen today?"
"Kind of."
Colleen's eyebrow rose, "Oh?" It was clear that she wanted to know more, and Katie hesitated for a few beats and once again, the strange warmth on her cheeks returned.
"Oh, I see what's happening. My little lady's in love!" Katie groaned as her mother giggled and pulled her to a hug.
"Mom! It's not like that!"
"Hm. Then who gave you this?" Her finger prodded at the little charm Katie had strung onto a necklace.
"Just…someone nice."
Her mother's smile was wide. "Oh goodness, how sweet. That's a pretty gift."
"He just gave it to me because his girlfriend didn't like it." Her mother squinted at that, but her smile didn't falter.
"Ah, so it's a one-sided crush?"
Katie shrugged and glumly pulled the sheets around herself. Her mother's hands gently brushed through her bangs.
"I'm sorry sweetheart. It happens."
"I just…feel weird."
"Yeah?"
"Whenever I see him now, I get this…feeling in my chest. Like a butterfly's stuck in there."
"That's what a crush feels like." Her mother nodded in understanding. Seeing her daughter's mood, Colleen pinched her cheek.
"You know what I used to do? Write a love letter." There was a mischievous glint in her eye that made Katie worry.
"No! I don't want to say anything to them."
"Not exactly to them. You are pretending to write a letter to them. Pour your heart out, write every emotion you feel. Once you're done, put it in a box and lock it up." She sat up from the bed and headed towards the closet and re-emerged with a little green box.
"Here, this will do. Slip the letters in here and lock it up wherever you want."
Katie considered the box and looked up to her mom.
"You used to do that? Did you write letters to Dad?"
A strange look crossed her mother's eyes. "Oh sweetheart, I can't wait till you're a little older. The kind of things I wrote. Goodness!" She chuckled and set the box down.
"But! It's way past your bedtime now and I need my little scientist to rest her brilliant, racing mind for the required nine hours. You can start on it tomorrow after school." She bent to kiss her daughter's forehead.
"Goodnight Katie. I love you."
"Love you too Mom."
She waited till her mother's footsteps reached the other end of the house before jumping out of her bed. From her drawers, she pulled out the set of pastel-toned stationery Shiro had gifted to her for her tenth birthday. Under the dim glow of her night light, Katie put pen to paper.
After affixing an approximate amount of heart stickers around the completed letter, Katie slipped the note into a pastel blue envelope. She went over to her closet where her mother had given her a little green box. Giving the letter a kiss, she dropped it under the lid and never looked back.
A/N: Love to hear your thoughts!
