The Mellarks

It's about an hour drive to each of our parent's houses. We don't own a car so we usually rent one but today we were able to borrow one from Finnick's business.

They live in the same town but they rarely associate with each other. Although my parents always shop in Peeta's dad's bakery they only go on days his mom isn't there. She always whines that I wasn't good enough for her son. My dad just lets her bullshit roll off his shoulders but my mom is apt to climb over the counter and beat the crap out of her. She's a mama bear and Prim and I are still her cubs. Even at our ages.

We're going to spend Saturday at Peeta's then sleep at my parents and spend Sunday with my them. Peeta's two brothers and their families will be there. Peeta and his brothers don't get along. They're civil with each other but they don't speak much. I can't stand his sisters-in-law. They are both stuck up bitches. Between them they have five kids all in the annoying age. They're spoiled and impolite. My dad is a quiet man but if Prim or I ever acted like them, well, I don't have to describe what our rears would look like.

On Sunday when we spend the day with my parents, Prim is bringing Rory. I have to keep the conversation aimed at Prim and marriage to keep my Mom from pestering me about grandchildren. But before that challenge I must spend a day with the insufferable Mrs. Mellark. And Peeta wouldn't let me drink before the ride up here.

Let me describe my Mother-in law. She dresses like she's a teenager. Wears too much make up. Always in three inch heels. And an attitude to match. I have a feeling that Peeta's dad knocked her up and then did the honorable thing. Poor sucker. You know, the kids are grown. He's still young and quite handsome. Get out while the getting' good.

Peeta's two sisters-in-law are no better. I think they wake up every morning trying to invent new ways to pull wings off of flies. They are both spoiled rotten. They compete with each other. Joanie got an Explorer. Then Jeanie got and Expedition. So Joanie got an Excursion. Jeanie ended the battle of the oversized SUVs when she got a Hummer. And the funny thing is she can't see over the steering wheel. All this to the drive the kids to the end of the freakin' driveway to catch the school bus. You know what would be funny, if those hair extensions that match her bottle blonde hair accidentally got caught in the food processor. Who am I kidding. She never lifts a finger in the kitchen. If it wasn't for the microwave you wouldn't get any hot food in their house.

He. He. He. Hair caught in food processor. That's funny. I cheer up for a second.

"So Katniss. How's work?" Jeanie catches me off guard. I was about to fall asleep. I'm so bored with they're mutterings about whose lawn is greener. In the city if you want greener grass you buy a darker shade of green paint from the hardware store to paint the concrete in front of your building. "Work's not bad. We're on a case involving...

"You know Joanie. The new spring collection is out. Have you seen it yet?" I guess I should be grateful that they have no interest in me.

Joey is a the older brother and married to Jeanie. Johnnie is married to Joanie. The guys are the smartest ones in this bunch. They are outside in the garage talking cars, sports, porn or whatever two guys talk about when their wives or children are not around. I think you can add the hot neighbor next door.

"Gimme that it's mine! Go away! I hate you! Take a hike! You're a witch! Mom make him stop!"

Oh. For Christ's sake just shut them up. "Hey guys! Why don't you go out and play on the freeway or something." I scream out. The looks come. Silence is quite noticeable. You could hear a pin drop. Oh shit. That was only supposed to be a thought bubble.

"Katniss! Are you alright?" Peeta asks with a stern look on his face. He might dislike the same people I dislike but he's the consummate diplomat and I have no mouth filter. I sink lower in my easy chair. "I'm sorry, but you know, my headache is getting worse. Sorry guys." I give a fake smile. "Could you get me some aspirin honey. Please." I give the pleading face of a condemned prisoner. "And a shot of tequila would be nice." I mutter, this time out of earshot."

The dinner didn't go much better. Mrs. M. wanted me to sit at the children's table. Thank God I have a husband and Father-in-law who love me. The dinner conversation is barely tolerable. The kids are screaming at each other. Mr M, Peeta and I sit at one end of the table just listening to the blathering coming out of the five of them. Joanie, Jeanie and Mrs. M are gossiping about everybody in town. Whose sleeping with who. Who threw who out. Who burned his house down for the insurance money. My ears perk up for that one. Forget about it, not my jurisdiction. Oh, and by the way it's ...sleeping with whom.

Joey and Johnnie are amazing. They just tune out everyone. They are in their own little universe and no one else is allowed in. I don't know how Mr. M takes it. Maybe it's earplugs.


"So what did you bake tonight Mr. M.?"

"Chocolate layer cake." I love the bakery's layer cake. The chocolate goes right to my brain. It's almost like a drug. Let me rephrase that, it is a drug.

"Oooh. Chocolate." I go to lick the bowl when I get swatted away. I give my best pout and bat those baby browns.

"For you Mrs. Mellark. Anything." I love Peeta's Dad.

"For her anything. What have you done for us lately?" Peeta's Mom says as she swoops in for another box of wine.

He just shakes his head. He reaches into an upper closet and pulls out a whiskey bottle. He pours two shots. "You'll appreciate this my young lass." I usually don't drink whiskey but I'm glad I did. This is the smoothest I've ever had.

"Outstanding!" I look at the bottle. "I think I found a new special drink."

"Remember Miss Katniss. Only take it out when you have company. Like today." We both smile and chuckle.

"Yes sir." He pours another and we both clink our glasses together. "Cheers!"