[A/N] Okay, my lovely readers. Here it is. My excuses for two-week delay are at the end, so don't hate me, please. I love you!

Hobbsie helped a lot with this one. Please give her a round of applause, everyone.

Chapter Three is dedicated to the lovely teachers who don't yell at me for writing furiously in my orange notebook during class. Seriously, 75% of this chapter was written during Chemistry and Maths. I'm so dedicated. *sniffle*

Oh yeah, I don't own the Hitachiins or any part of Ouran High School Host Club. That right belongs solely to Hatori Bisco, yadda yadda yadda. You can't sue me!


As the sun rose gracefully, its gentle light fell through glass panes into a silent bedroom. The warm rays alighted on Hikaru's skin gently, warming him as if to comfort him. However, he felt nothing of its kind caresses, instead covering his eyes to block out the painful glare. He had slept dreamlessly for a very short while at some point in the night, but not long enough to truly leave him rested. Heavy-hearted, he sat up, knowing that the new day had to be faced.

No matter how much he may prefer to just sink into the ground and never see the sky again, he had to continue on, for the sake of his pride and those he knew would worry if he took the day off. He shrugged his clothes on, and left the mansion without breakfast, already slightly late but in no mood to rush. If anyone had tried to communicate with him that morning, they would have received no reply, for the older Hitachiin was operating on autopilot. He was still completing all his basic functions, going through the motions, but his mind was far above it all, lost in some deeper state of thought. His eyes were hollow and unseeing, his usually bright face expressionless.

His driver noticed, but said nothing, knowing that there was nothing he could do or say to help this young boy. Back when he himself was a lad, when he had had girl problems (for he assumed this was the only thing that could disrupt the usually mischievous teen's heart to such a degree), he would only lash out at those who presumed to help him. He shook his head, smiling. Love worries, huh? Young Master Hitachiin would just have to figure it out by himself.

...

Meanwhile, Kaoru was already at the gates of the school. After the previous night, he had awoken to find himself in a most pathetic state. However, he had hardened his heart and put on his usual mask of normality. He had cleaned himself up, dressed and left in perfect time, greeting the maids on the way out as he did every morning. He would not let it show. He would act like nothing happened, and just pray that the heartbreak would not pour through. He had done it for months, but… it was sharper today. He did not think back to what had happened, trying as hard as possible to leave it at the back of his mind, afraid of another breakdown like the one he had fallen asleep to the night before. He would not look back.

After all, he had seen it coming. He knew that it would hurt, that he might lose himself, but he was handling it. Or he was trying to. Maybe, if he pretended that he had forgotten it all already, that there was no feeling in that kiss, Hikaru would do the same. Maybe he would still be able to be near his twin… if only they could both forget.

If there was any possibility that he had not betrayed his feelings in that moment, he could continue to exist. As long as Hikaru stayed the same, treated it like just another part of the act. After all, the only reason for the kiss could be that Hikaru had gotten too wrapped up in their act and his hormones had taken over. Yes, it hurt, like a direct stab to the heart, but at least he had no false hopes. He had not been drawn in by it all, and was treating the kiss as all that Hikaru would see it as. A simple lapse, caused by teen hormones and sexual frustration. He would not be so foolish as to hope. He would not.

Spotting some of his followers watching him, Kaoru cleared his face of any expression he may have been wearing, smiled brilliantly and ran his fingers through his hair. They blushed accordingly, and ran away giggling. A sad smile graced his lips – it was so easy to pretend, to take a certain posture and lower his eyelids to just there, and they were fooled. Taking a breath, he walked through the gates, feeling curious eyes searching for the twin who was always by his side. Once they arrived at school, they were always together, even before last night, when truly they had not properly communicated for months. When in this building, when with the Host Club, they donned their masks and played their parts so faithfully. But today, things were different. Hitachiin Kaoru was walking into the school alone, instead of waiting for his brother's limousine to arrive and entering together. He felt like an injured deer surrounded by hungry wolves. He could already hear them whispering, hear them speculating. Soon enough, the bets would be placed as to why he was running solo. Head straight up, he kept walking, wearing the trademark Hitachiin smirk to show that there was nothing amiss, showing his amusement at their gossiping.

Yet he missed the security of his brother's hand in his, even if it was just part of the act.

...

Haruhi sighed. Another day of being played with and hiding her gender for money - what would her mother have said? It didn't help that she was practically stalked by the Host Club at all times, either. Especially Tamaki-senpai and his weird obsession with being her father… Anyway. She had work to do. If she was going to survive the day, she would at least have to find something to distract her from her spiralling debt and gender confusion.

She fumed internally for a few seconds, before being sidetracked by two unusual and very worrying observations. Firstly, she had not been glomped by the twins as per her ordinary morning entry to the school. This was worrying because, usually if the Host Club weren't practically molesting her, they were planning more interesting (annoying) ways to get to her. This usually involved cross-cross-dressing her. Ridiculous.

Secondly, there were hordes of girls rushing in the opposite direction to her, whispering about something, debating and probably placing bets. This meant that there was some sort of spectacle in the direction they were rushing. And a spectacle always related to the Host Club. She evaluated her options. She could either:

1) Run away as fast as possible before they could track her down and drag her into whatever they were doing, or

2) Find out what was going on and form a plan of action.

Haruhi chose option 2, deciding that she should at least deprive the crazed stalkers of the element of surprise. With that in mind, she joined the flow of fangirls, trying to be invisible as she was pulled irresistibly along towards the source of her consternation.

Then she saw what everyone was talking about, and was surprised as the rest of the audience that had gathered. Kaoru was alone. He was never alone. The Hitachiins had recently begun taking separate cars to school ("Hikaru keeps sleeping in, and I hate to disturb such a peaceful dreamer, so I decided to come early" Kaoru had explained) but even then, Kaoru would faithfully wait for his brother's car at the gates, and they would be inseparable from that point on. That Kaoru would come into the school alone – it was unheard of, and in a school full of bored girls, speculations spread fast. She could already hear the vultures gossiping about the famed pair having fought, or Hikaru being grievously injured and Kaoru having to fight through life without him, and worse. She had to drag herself away before she got caught up in the fangirls' grim fantasies.

She watched quietly as Kaoru smiled at the adoring crowds, casually continuing forwards as if nothing was wrong. However, she had spent a lot of time around the twins, and knew their behaviour patterns very well. She could feel that something was up, something possibly much more painful to Kaoru than he was pretending. She had to get closer.

With that in mind, Haruhi began striding purposefully in the direction of Music Room Nº 3.

...

Hikaru felt, rather than saw, the commotion at the school before he walked into it. He knew from the buzz in the air that something big had happened, and he was smart enough to know that it probably involved him, and that he didn't want to be part of it. Not today. Still, he had to get into the school somehow, and he was already late. Bracing his shoulders, he employed his best weapon against fangirls: heavily-implied-yaoi overload. He adjusted his clothes to look thrown-on, mussed up his hair and forced himself to appear exhausted after a long night of… something, with a hint of barely concealed satisfaction.

He hurried through the gates, looking at his watch to emphasise just how late he was. He then glanced up as if seeking a glimpse of someone, and let a small blush dust his cheeks at the stares awaiting him. He made to adjust his tie, subtly showing off the sensual hollow at the base of his throat. He stretched, the winced as if in slight pain caused by too much rough… something.

And with that, every female and most of the males within a 500m radius fainted, blood dribbling from their noses slowly, as each one wished they were Hitachiin Kaoru with all their being.

Here, Hikaru would usually allow a small, trademark smirk to grace his lips, but today, he simply lowered his head and carried on walking. He did not think about how he was going to face his friends, or how he was going to be 'normal'. He focussed on right now instead, stepping nonchalantly over the bodies he had littered around the grounds, all while delicately avoiding getting blood on his clothes.

Blood… memories of a day in the kitchen long ago came to mind.

"It's just so pointless, Kao-chan. I don't understand why you want to do this so badly. We have maids to do these things for us. It's what they're employed for."

His little brother, currently age seven, pouted adorably. Hikaru looked away, knowing that he would probably give in if he met those puppy-dog eyes. He folded his arms to show how adverse he was to this game.

"But, Hika-cha~an. It's just for fun. We never eat the chocolates all those girls give us, so we might as well make some for each other. C'mon, it'll be fun! I just want to show you how much I love you, okay? Is that so bad? Don't you want to swap chocolates on Valentines? It's only natural that we give chocolates to those we love and are grateful to, so I want to give some to you. Now, come help me make them."

It was funny how the more modest sibling could be so bossy when around his older brother. He reluctantly followed his brother into the kitchen, knowing inside that this venture was not going to end well.

"Fine. But only 'cos it's you."

Ten minutes later, it happened. There he was, attempting to chop the chocolate into small pieces that would melt more easily when he heard his brother yelp as he touched a finger to a hot pan.

"Kao-chan? Are you o- OW!"

Distracted by his brother's distress, Hikaru had lost concentration and the sharp knife came down on his finger abruptly. It began to bleed slowly, but he ignored this fact, instead running over to his brother and pushing the burned hand under the cold tap.

"Be more careful, baka! You could have been really hurt!"

Kaoru looked slightly shocked, but managed to notice the now quite nasty-looking cut on his brother's hand. As soon as his own wound had been fussed over and bandaged by Hikaru, Kaoru managed to finally get a hold of the older twin's hand.

"And you called me an idiot. Let me see." He berated. Hikaru only scowled, knowing full well that Kao-chan was going to make a fuss about the little cut on his finger. When he felt something brushing the wound, he looked up, surprised.

"What? I'm only kissing it better. Here, this will clean it. Remember when Mom did this when I cut my finger? It was really disgusting, but it cleaned it, ne? And we're brothers, so it's okay."

What was Kao-chan talking about? Cleaning? – Ah. Oh my, that was what he had meant. Kao-chan had popped his elder brother's finger into his mouth, gently sucking away the blood and cleaning it, keeping a firm hold on Hikaru's wrist so he couldn't draw away. His first reaction was revulsion – his finger was in someone else's mouth, but then something else overcame it. A warm feeling pooled in his stomach, and a faint blush dusted his cheeks. It was quite… nice.

Cold air hitting the wound as his finger was released made him focus again. Was Kao-chan also blushing? Oh, of course. He had just put a finger in his mouth – it must have been embarrassing.

He really did love his brother, more than anyone in the whole wide world. They were safe together.

...

Haruhi stood in front of the large oak-panelled doors of the third music room, pondering her decision. There was obviously something wrong with Kaoru. She, being quite observant, could tell from the slightly awkward tilt to her friend's lips and the small emptiness in his eyes that he was upset. However, what use was that if she couldn't help? She just wasn't good with people, and meddling was Tamaki-senpai's job. But, Haruhi had a friend in need. She steeled herself and turned the handle.

Thank the Lord; Kaoru was the only one there. She couldn't imagine what she would have had to deal with if the rest of the hosts had been present. He seemed to have been slumped in a chair facing away from her, his head in his hands, but when he heard the familiar dramatic creak of the door he had straightened immediately. He turned to her, smiling stiffly and commenting on the strange lack of other members. She didn't reply, instead walking over to his chair and slumping down beside it, her head leaning back against the armrest. Kaoru looked down at her, not in the least surprised by her normal lack of energy.

"Is something wrong, Haru-chan? Care to share?"

She thought carefully about her reply. She didn't want to seem too nosy, but she was sure that he needed to talk about whatever was bothering him.

"As a matter of fact, I am concerned about the suspicious lack of molestations occurring this morning. Neither you nor your brother has attacked me, and the other usual suspects seem to be absent. This worries me."

Kaoru shot her the trademark smirk, but she noticed that his eyes didn't match his lips.

"I believe that, in fact, Mother and Father have relocated to another room for some early morning… stress-relieving yoga, and Hunny and Mori are probably getting Hunny's 9am fix from the confectioners. Why, Haru-chan, do you miss our beloved public displays of affection?"

In actuality, she knew perfectly well that Tamaki-senpai and Kyouya-senpai had set up some sort of booty-call system. She had grown up with a transvestite for a father, so she knew from him how to recognise and deal with these things. He had always told her to watch out for such activity in a misguided attempt to protect her – but anyway. She wasn't that naïve. Yoga. That was a new one.

"That's not what I meant, Kaoru, and you know it. You can tell me what's up, you know?"

His eyes tightened slightly at this. Oh yes, he definitely knew that she knew, but still his smile didn't falter.

"Maybe so, but it's not something you would underst- well, you just…"

She watched his eyes patiently, and soon enough his mask began to crack. He sighed quietly.

"There's really no use in hiding it from you, is there? You've always been observant, and you'll probably look at me in that weird concerned way until I tell you. Maybe it would help."

By now, he had returned to the position he had been slouched in when she had first entered the room. Following her instincts, she kept quiet and simply leant her head gently into the arm resting beside it, in some form of comfort. He sighed once more, before posing a question to her.

"What… what would you do if someone you liked kissed you, but you knew they didn't like you back? How do you interpret that kind of kiss?"

Oh. Um, excuse me? Kiss?

Well, she was a little surprised, to say the least. It was definitely not what she had expected. Yet her brain began to analyse his words all the same, searching for hidden meanings. Someone he liked. From the defensive attitude he was giving off, it would appear that the kiss was a surprise attack, probably forced on him in a weak moment. Thus, it was unlikely to be from a female (also considering that no girl would dare kiss Kaoru for fear of breaking the 'beautiful, fragile' (meaning: super-steamy and forbidden) brotherly bond between the twins.). The only other person near to Kaoru who could shock him this much by just a simple kiss- no. Surely not. Hikaru… kissed Kaoru? But that would mean that the act wasn't an act! Twincest actually existed? The two of them – oh my. Her usually rational brain began to fill with all manner of fangirl-ish thoughts, which she had to sweep away rapidly before they could reveal themselves on her outward appearance. She was a mature young lady, and those kinds of thoughts were inappropriate, especially taking into account the fact that the two partners were her friends.

So. Kaoru had admitted to liking the person who had tainted his lips (Hikaru), and seemed to be deeply troubled by this fact. He was probably killing himself inside, she thought. Yet, even Hikaru wasn't the type to do something that big to his beloved brother for a joke. At least, not a full-on lip-to-lip kiss. Ah – Kaoru wouldn't want her to know that he liked his brother. He would want to keep it secret, buried deep inside him where nothing would ever come of his feelings. Typical Hitachiin. In fact, he was probably worried that he might disgust her if she found out, that he might be hated or shunned. Idiot. She was raised by a transvestite, dammit. How many times did she have to say it? (Ignoring the fact that this was her personal internal monologue) She was accustomed to these things. Still, for his sanity's sake she was going to have to try and help without betraying the fact that she had worked out so easily what had happened. But how could she help him while blindfolded?

It was clear from his demeanour that he was taking the kiss in the wrong way. Being Kaoru, he must suspect that Hikaru had felt nothing in the kiss, had only done it out of hormone rage or getting too caught up in the 'Brotherly Love' act. She was 95% sure that Hikaru returned Kaoru's feelings, but utterly confidant that neither of them would realise it without a helping hand.

However, she didn't want to meddle. That was, as she said, Tamaki-senpai's job.

"I, personally, would ask him or her straight out what their intentions were, I think."

There. Straight to the point, and not pressuring him to tell her the name of the culprit. But Kaoru only laughed derisively, something definitely unusual for the younger twin.

"There's no way I can do that. No way. Under the circumstances, I'd rather it was all forgotten than ask hi – them – straight out. I just don't want… I just don't want to break it, I don't want them to back away from me, but I hate all this running away…"

His voice trailed off, and once more he placed his head in his hands. It seemed that he was thinking hard about something, like the hurt he was going through was infecting his mind, his every action. Love is quite scary sometimes, thought Haruhi. But maybe that's why we get so lost in it – the deep fall swallows you whole. Stop. No poetic, girly thoughts. Help Kaoru.

He suddenly spoke, waking her from her reverie.

"Maybe if he forgets, if I can erase these feelings – maybe we can go back to those days, the way things were. I just need…"

Their eyes suddenly met, and a bolt of electric fear tingled Haruhi's spine. His golden eyes were burning with feverish pain, some sort of fine frenzy, and taking on a predatory look. They froze her in place. She couldn't escape as his fine features came close to hers.

"If I can erase it, cancel it out, will it stop? Will it stop hurting? Can I make things go back to the way they were? Cancel it out… I have to cancel it, erase it all… I'm sorry, Haru-chan. Forgive me, but these feelings – it's so sick and wrong. It hurts me, and it will hurt him. If I can cancel them out, erase them we can be together again. Just let me try - I'm sorry."

Wait – he wasn't going to – surely not!

Her lips! Her pure untainted lips that she had spent so much effort into protecting from the advances of those around her who would take advantage of them! Her first kiss, stolen by a girl thanks to those idiots, and now this! No freaking way…

Kaoru placed one hand gently under her chin, tilting it upwards for better access. He leaned in, placing his lips only millimetres away from hers and whispering against them softly:

"Please, Haruhi. Help me erase them…"

Oh God! Help – her lips… his lips… so soft against her own, a gentle, caring kiss.

She closed her eyes, stolen away in the moment.


[A/N] So, what do you think, my pretties? Good, bad, or plain old ugly? Sorry if the new way of showing POV change is a bit inobvious - Fanfiction seems to not support those little asterisk thingys.

I'm thinking of writing a one-shot spin-off of this on the whole mention of Tamaki and Kyouya's 'yoga'. If you wanna read it, please tell me in a review, and I'll get my butt into the desk chair and do it. But only if you guys want to read it. Warning: It will be a one-shot lemon. No minors are to come crying about traumatisation, 'kay?

Ah yes, the excuse. To put it into a short conversation between myself and my friend A:

*in French class*

Teacher: It's that time of year again. The one you all have nightmares about, the one you have trained for. Be strong.

A: What-ho?

Me: Oh no!

A: I think I detect a...

Me: Folio!

All Students: Egad! Run while you still have the ability! Escape!

Teacher: *numerous arms grab escaping pupils* Nice try, midgets. Get your butts back in your seats and WRITE, dammit.

And so, the folio work began. We have to write long, uninteresting essays in another language! I apologise, but it was truly an agonizing week, believe me. And it's not even over yet... ugh.

Has anyone noticed that the author notes are my favourite bit of writing a fic? Oh, I fired Hobbsie as co-author. She's an 'editor' now. Gives her more nap-time. She's also much more helpful now. Please praise her in your reviews! :) By the way, I love all you people who have favourited us or put us on alert, but (I'm going to seem really ungrateful and mean here)... REVIEWS MEAN SO MUCH MORE TO US THAN JUST CLICKING THE 'ALERT' BUTTON! EVEN IF THEY'RE JUST THREE WORDS LONG! Sorry... just had to get it off my chest. By the way, once again, love all you reviewers! You are the light in my sky, the caffeine in my mornings, the Alfred to my Arthur (hetalia XD), the Light to my L - am I going overboard here? Gonna shut up now...

Anyhoo, thanks for reading. If you want to hear more about the Tamaki/Kyouya fic, or want to read it at all, do tell me. It makes me so happy to hear from you all!

Love, Natsume (Main Author for SilverWillowMusic.)