A/N: I only own Damian Sunfire, Brain Pod 62, Brain Pod 126, and Mathew's Space Sirens. Disney and Pixar own everything else.


Chapter 3: Is Another Man's Revenge

Brain Pod 62 was the best historian in the galaxy, but after he contracted a virus called the Vita Virus Latro, in which there was no cure for.

The Life Thief Virus, as it was called, was an extremely aggressive virus that would break down each cell in the host's body as it replicated itself. The reason why there wasn't a cure was because it was a virus, not a disease nor an infection, so it couldn't be treated with antibiotics or any other medical drug. The worst part though was that it was constantly evolving from host to host. Scientists were still unsure as to why to would only affect certain people and species.

The day that Bryan Chee found out he had the virus was the day he decided to "join the forces of Evil," as Zurg would put it, but it was mainly because he felt that he was too young to die and wanted to continue his career. At twenty-nine-years-old he was now a brain in a jar and extremely nervous and sad as he waited in the hanger bay for the shuttle craft to come and pick him up from the Battle Cruiser.

The only thing on his mind though, was Brain Pod 126 and the day she had "failed" her Emperor.

She was the most beautiful and intelligent woman I had ever met. And her eyes! Any man, whole or as a brain in a jar, would've been lucky to have a chance to melt into those beautiful hazel orbs. Brain Pod 62 continued to stare out into space as he remembered that day in pain staking detail. We were going to have our first anniversary date latter that night at A Taste of Evil Italy and I was going to propose to her, but now…

Although most of galaxy looked down on or hated Zurg's minions, they never really thought about the reason why they joined or what it was like to work under such an emotionally unstable man. One moment he could be acting like a giddy teenager, dancing to the latest Pop song on the radio and really move with the beat of the music, and the next he would have a prisoner or a Grub taken down to the bronze melting pot when he got mad at them "causing his failure in galactic conquest."

In most cases, those who were dipped in bronze were to become Zurg's new "lifelike" statue in his Garden of Evil Bliss. The only outsiders who had ever come close to understanding what it was like working for Zurg was Commander Nebula and Captain Buzz Lightyear, but even they didn't really see or understand the true horrors that awaited those who became the scapegoat for Zurg's wrath, and right now, the mortality rate was quickly pilling up thanks to that Winds of Change fiasco with Compu-Klerm that Sunfire caused. For Zurg, it was one thing to have Lightyear make a foul of him in front of the galaxy, but to have a young crime lord make him a fool in front of the criminal underworld was another thing entirely.

If only Rasha hadn't of thought that she could have started a rebellion and actually win, then maybe Brain Pod 23 wouldn't have had to transfer to Rinex 4 to aid in the re-terraforming of the planet, and he would have had to bring Zurg's Evil Double Half-Caf Mochaccino instead of my precious 126. Brain Pod 62 started to cry as he remembered what Zurg did to Brain Pod 126. Why… Why did he have to do that? ALL of that?! For three lousy marshmallows I lost the love of my life and… and… I had to watch!

What Zurg did to Brain Pod 126 could be not explained without causing one to become nauseas, but the worst part was that Brain Pod 62 had to watch as his love died. Everyone did.

Although Star Command liked to think that they knew almost every little thing that happened in Zurg's organization, there were some things that were so secret and evil, that those who blew the whistle were used in experiments for Zurg's latest takeover schemes. So no one said a word as Zurg tried his hand at "macabre art," even as Brain Pod 126 attempted to escape, no one helped, not even Brain Pod 62, for Zurg would have made it even worse on both of them if he found out they had been romantically involved, which is why she never cried out to Brain Pod 62 for help or even looked at him as Zurg "reshaped" her.

Slowly the shuttle craft began to come into view, and Brain Pod 62 made an attempt to stop crying and think of happy moments with his 126, before that gruesome event.

The shuttle craft descend into the hanger bay, with a loud *balonk* the craft successfully landed. Brain Pod 62 rushed forward to the craft so that he wouldn't give the pilot an excuse as to why he or she took so long to bring Brain Pod 62 to the cargo ship. It was a good thing too, for when he was barely halfway up the loading ramp the pilot flipped the switch to retract the ramp.

Brain Pod 62 barely got on board before the ramp was completely retracted into the bottom of the shuttle craft. Although he was in he had no room. All most all of the space was taken up with stacks and stacks of crates taken from the cargo ship.

Great, 62 thought to himself, my luck Zurg wants me to catalog everything that's in these crates. Brain Pod62 shook his head and made an audible sigh as he look over at all the hard work he was going to have to do.

A few minutes later the shuttle craft finally aligned to the side of the cargo ship again and extended its ramp down the whole in the side. As Brain Pod 62 rushed as fast as his tinny wheels would let him down the ramp and onto the corridor, three Hull Drilling Hornets lined up with the side of the cargo ship and drilled more access ports into it.

At the end of the corridor Brain Pod 62 found his age old nemesis, stairs. Now the stairs were extremely challenging and Brain Pod 62 almost fell down them several times.

Why in the name of sweet mother of Venus doesn't this rust bucket have an elevator in it?! Brain Pod 62 wondered to himself.

After twenty minutes of trying to get down the stairs and navigate the corridors, he finally found Zurg.

However, it wasn't that hard though, all he had to do was follow the sound of Hornets prying open crates and Zurg yelling, "Carful!" "Watch it!," and, "Be careful with that! That's the crate with the label that says it's from King Nova of Tangia to the Madam President! I want to know if it's the statue of the Tangian Goddess of Night made from thousands of Tangaian sapphires that I've heard rumors about! If it is, it would go very nicely in my spa room as a towel rack!"

Same old Zurg, was all Brain Pod 62 could mentally think as he approached the entrance to the cargo bay.


After Zurg had dispatched the Hornet to go back to the shuttle craft and tell the pilot to return to the Battle Cruiser, pick up Brain Pod 62, and bring him to the cargo bay, Zurg turned his attention back to the other crates that were in the "extremely fragile" part of the cargo bay.

Looking around he noticed several crates that he thought would have been transported with an entourage of Space Rangers.

These crates included a peace gift from the Ambassador of the planet Teagin, home of a large feline race that had an orange base color with black strips running though out their fur, to the Ambassador of the planet Kaleen, a humanoid race with pale blue skin and large eyes that were commonly blue in color, and pale blond hair; a crate with a label that was addressed from the Ambassador of Gargantia to the Duke of the planet Aurabesh, a humanoid species which have long mouths that resemble an anteater's and have blue skin; and a crate with a label which stated that it was from King Nova of Tangia to Madam President of the Galactic Alliance.

Upon seeing all of these crates labeled from ambassadors, kings, and queens, to other Galactic Alliance and non-Alliance members, Zurg couldn't help but laugh at the immeasurable amount of luck that came his way at finding this "secret treasure."

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I can just imagine the entire Galactic Alliance faces when they find out that their 'secret shipments' have stolen by been me! HAHAHAHAHA! Oh, oh and I can just hear that pompous King Nova's voice when he finds out that bunch of space monkeys lost his present to Madam President! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

By now Zurg was laughing so uncontrollably that he was clutching his sides and crying real tears.

"Um… excuse me your Evilness," Asked the Grub meekly as he approached Zurg.

Zurg attempted to control himself has he tried to stand up and wiped a stray tear from his eye, "Hahahaha… yes… hahaha… yes, wh-what is it?"

"Th-the pilot of the shuttle craft says that after he picks up Brain Pod 62 he'll have to go back to the Battle Cruiser to unload the crates that have already been placed in it, to make room for the rest of the items from the cargo bay. And also, that it may take a little longer than normal to go to the Battle Cruisor and return due to the excess weight from the crates."

As the Grub said this he was hoping that Zurg would stay in a good mood thanks to the items left carelessly unguarded on the cargo ship.

Zurg finally finished composing himself while he was listening to the Grub and once the Grub had finished speaking Zurg asked, "How long is it going to exactly take for the shuttle to go over, pick up Brain Pod 62 and come back?"

"Around eight minutes." Responded the Grub, accidently making the last word squeak as it left his mouth, which caused him to hold the clip board up to cover his face.

"Hmm… I suppose eight minutes isn't too long for a shuttle that is loaded with 12 tons of excess cargo," mused Zurg as he brought his right claw hand up to his chin and began to rub it in thought. "And we do have all day to strip everything out of this rust bucket… tell the pilot of that shuttle that after he's done bringing Brain Pod 62 here, he is to return to the Battle Cruiser and unload the cargo and return to the cargo ship to pick up another load. Also, tell the bridge to send over three more Hull Drilling Hornets here and to send three more shuttle crafts with them so we can pick up the pace. I don't want to miss my lovely Vicki Vortex's newest television series: "Mathew's Space Sirens.'"

"Ye-yes my Evil Emperor," replied the Grub as he ran off to radio the pilot and the bridge Zurg's new orders.


As Brain Pod 62 entered the cargo bay, he noticed neatly stacked crates were lined in rows in front of the cargo bay entrance, clearly being arranged that way for a easier transport on to the shuttles that were to deliver the crates back to the Battle Cruiser.

He could also still hear Zurg talk loudly to one of the Hornets from the far end of the cargo bay.

"And make sure that you fasten that crate tightly! I don't want another Galliminus Six incident!"

Brain Pod 62 sighed heavily as he drew nearer to the area Zurg was at. He also could see that the Hornets were doing an excellent job at clearing this end of the cargo bay, for all that was mostly left was a few crates scattered here and there, and the four crates that Zurg and a Grub were standing next to.

Brain Pod 62 rolled up to Zurg and said, "You requested my presence Emperor Zurg?" noting that Zurg was wearing his reading glasses as he flipped through a clip board, mumbling and laughing to himself.

Zurg took his glasses off and turn toward Brain Pod 62 with an irritated look on his face and shouted, "First off, that's EVIL Emperor Zurg to you, pickled brain! And secondly, YES! I want to know what exactly the items in crates are once they're opened!" Zurg pointed to the four crates that Brain Pod 62 had noticed earlier.

While Zurg was saying this, three hornets started to open first three crates, revealing multiple ancient weapons including one spear with its point made out of Obsidian, a meter length wooden club with a rock securely placed into a notch at the end, what would appear to be arrows and a spear gun made of ivory with a quiver made of green stingray skin, and finally a shield made from a strange plating resembling that of a giant insect's shell with a dozen horns protruding from it along with a spear which had the same type of horn as a spear head, with intricate designs carved thought its wooden shaft.

As the Hornets took the items out of the crates, they placed them on a cotton sheet that the Grub had placed on the ground. Once the Grub was done, Zurg shoved his glasses and the clipboard back to him.

After the Hornets had finished placing the items on the ground Brain Pod 62 started from the left and worked to the right.

"Alright my Evil Emperor, this spear with an Obsidian head and this wooden club with a stone end is from Capital Planet's pre-fossil fuel years, it's a true find among archeologist and historians."

Brain Pod 62 was mentally shocked when he seen these two items. Trying to put a price on these two items was hard because most archeologists and historians had given up on ever finding artifacts from Capital Planet's pre-fossil fuel years, so putting an exact price on these weapons would be next to impossible.

However, he could tell from the way that the Grub was shaking and making quick glances at Zurg and Zurg's eyes forming into slits while keeping his arms crossed that Zurg only wanted to know the monetary value of the pieces, not their historic value.

He turned back to Zurg and said, "These two items alone are worth at least 3 billion uni-bucks a piece."

Upon hearing 3 billion uni-bucks, Zurg relaxed, as well as the Grub, and Zurg became more interested in the items that he now owned.

Brain Pod 62 turn back to the artifacts that were laid out on the sheet and he continued onto the next set of relics.

"Oh, by the celestial heavens!" exclaimed Brain Pod 62, "A Bathyosian spear gun set made from a native whale's horn complete with a viridans trygon skin quiver! Oh, this is priceless! Why, with this set alone you could buy all of Compu-Klerm stocks, your Evilness!"

Brian Pod 62 was so excited that he accidentally thought of how excited Brain Pod 126 would be once he arrived back at Planet Z and told her the find. However, right after he made the thought, he quickly admonished himself for it, and his moment of joy was quickly deflated.

Zurg on the other hand, was visibly pleased with this information. He could just imagine the new biological and technological terrors that he was going to create with the money gained from these old pieces of junk.

Brain Pod 62 moved on to the next set of relics, he could have fainted with what he found.

"By the rings of Saturn! This can't be! It's… it's! Oh I can't believe this!"

Brain Pod 62 was nearly beside himself as he looked upon the shield and spear, in his entire career as an historian, he had never actually seen this in person; no one had. The only record of this set was from writings and paints.

Brain Pod 62 was speechless as he looked upon the shield and spear and remained silent for a full 15 seconds. That is, until the suspense drove Zurg to the edge, causing him to shout, "Well what is it!"

Zurg looked like he could shoot Brain Pod 62. While the Grub just cringed behind a Hornet's leg because of Zurg's outburst. Brian Pod 62 snapped out of his stupor after Zurg's shout, and quickly responding to him, more out of excitement rather than fear.

"This my Evil Emperor, is a Raenok battle shield and spear! The shield is made from the exoskeleton of a native arthropod that could grow to 2.1 meters in length; however now extinct, and the horns protruding out on the shield and the horn used as the head on the spear, are from Raenoks that had been killed by the owner's hand. Basically the more people he or she killed, the greater warrior the owner of this shield and spear set was, and judging from the horns on this shield, the owner was clearly more interested in quality not quantity. A fine example of Raenok savagery, I would also place this set around the Raenok's Middle Ages."

Brain Pod 62 was so excited with this find, that if he were a droid, he would have blown a circuit, possibly four.

Although Zurg wasn't one for history lessons, he couldn't help but get a bit excided as Brain Pod 62 told of how the shield and spear was created. He made a mental note to find more information about Raenok Middle Ages once he got back to Planet Z. However, he was still mainly concerned on how much money he could get out of the set…. And how much pain it would cause Sunfire to lose such a "fine example of Raenok savagery."

"So tell me 62, how much would you say this set alone was worth?"

"On which market, sir?"

"Any."

"My Evil Emperor, this set alone is worth your Battle Cruiser's weight in gold! No one has ever been able to find one of these pieces intact, let alone together and with so many horns!"

"Oh goodie!" Zurg said this in his typical "evil" fashion, complete with rubbing his hands together.

Zurg continued, saying, "Oh I can just imagine the look on that smug, lack-wit, Damion Sunfire's face once he finds out that his precious crates have gone missing! HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Zurg turned to the Hornets standing near the relics and said, "Hornets! Place those priceless works of art back into their crates and load them onto a shuttle immediately, and for evil's sake, don't break them!"

With that, Zurg began to walk back to one of the shuttle craft, telling the Grub that he was in charge and that if he missed any of the remaining cargo he would be, "used as the new moving target for Brain Pod 91's latest weapon."

Seeing as his work was done, Brain Pod 62 began to wheel away and help the Grub oversee the loading of the crates, but then he noticed the last crate that was part of Sunfire's collection.

Brain Pod 62 quickly turn toward Zurg and shouted, "Excuse me your Evilness, but you forgot the about the last crate."

Zurg turned around to face Brain Pod 62; he raised a brow as he skeptically looked down at him. Then he looked toward the crate that Brain Pod 62 had mentioned and began to rub his claw like hands together, smiling mischievously as he suddenly remembered small crate.

"Oh yes, I had forgotten about that tinny little box. I hope it well be just as good as or even better than the Raenok set," Zurg purred as he hungrily looked at the crate.

"Open it," Zurg said to one of the remaining Hornets.

The Hornet quickly and effortlessly took the lid off, laying it to the side, and handed the crate itself to Brain Pod 62. Ruffling though the straw, Brian Pod 62 found something most interesting. It was a small black device which looked to be some form of ancient technology that had a glass front, a solid backing, and was extremely light.


A/N: Okay so I've made a few changes to this chapter, thanks to Fox the Writer's help. And if any of you are wondering what "Mathew's Space Sirens" is, it's just BLoSC's version of "Charlie's Angles."

I'm working on chapter four tomorrow and I hope I'll have it done by Monday (can't promise you guys anything though). Also leave a review; they help inspire me to write more quickly! Even if you thought that Zurg said something funny let me know about it. ;) However, constructive criticism is always appreciated.

Anyways, Keep Calm and Buy a Thneed!

-MM