Chapter 3: Very Distant Lands

Disclaimer: I own nothing, as previously stated


Some squire I am. How could I let this happen to Star? Is that even Star anymore? "What did you do?!" I screamed.

The Lich, or Star, or whatever I wanted to call her, just turned and blasted at me with one of her arms. I barely had time to jump out of the way.

"Marco, take Star's mom and get out of here!" Finn yelled as Star blasted at him and he rolled along the ground to dodge.

Moon ignored Finn, and her hands began to glow. "Unhand my daughter at once, you-"

The Lich didn't let her finish, blasting at her. Moon went to swat the spell away, but instead of repelling it, the blast burnt her hand. There was no mistaking the smell of burnt flesh. She yelled in pain and fell to the ground.

"Such power..." Queen Moon muttered, keeping her composure. "For some reason my magic is still weak here."

"Jake, get them out of here!" Finn yelled. The Lich shot a ray of green energy at Finn, but he held up his sword, the dark magic of - whatever he called it, the Nightosphere - absorbed the blast. "IS THAT ALL YOU GOT, YA DINGUS?! All that power and you couldn't hit the fat side of a barn!"

The Lich swooped down, but before I could see more, Jake had wrapped long noodle arms around myself and the queen, and stretched us up the tunnel we came through, up the subway stairs, and onto the field.

"What are you doing, we have to help Star!" I shouted, trying to duck past the dog, but he grew his hand to my height and pushed me back.

"Look Marco," barked Jake, "you seem like a cool kid, but you gotta get out of here! This is bad biz!"

Jake stretched himself down the stairs, and I immediately heard more blasts and shouts.

"Queen Moon, are you alright?" I asked.

She stood up and shook off her hand. "Stay put, Marco."

She angrily transformed into her own Butterfly form, and charged down the stairs. "Now I fight."

"...Getting real tired of being pushed out of the way! I'm her flipping SQUIRE!" I growled, running down after her. I screeched to a halt at the bottom of the stairs though, peering down into the now destroyed concrete floor.

I held in a shocked gasp. In the, what, thirty second head start Moon had on me, The Lich had blasted her into a heap on the ground. Jake, as well, was motionless next to her. Only Finn remained, but he wasn't faring too well. He had used his arms to try and wrestle the Lich to the ground. But since Star had six arms, she was able to use two of them to hoist Finn off the ground, and use the other four to pummel him in the chest and stomach.

I reached for my dimensional scissors. I only had one shot to get this right. Deep breath, Diaz.

I cut a portal below me, the receiving end right above Finn and Lich. I flipped into it, and burst through the other end, landing in an axe kick across the top of the Lich's head. Star's body fell to the ground, and Finn collapsed next to me. But he was more resilient than he looked, as he struggled to his feet.

Star's body was motionless. Finn and I exchanged nervous glances, but he nodded at me and towards her. We approached slowly. Suddenly, her head jerked up, and her eyes, for a split second, looked normal.

"M-Marco...?" She asked, voice trembling.

I never heard her like that. She had been scared about Meteora's attack, but this...this was different. It was terror.

"Star!" I yelled, running for her, but Finn grabbed the back of my hoodie, as Star's eyes rolled into the back of her head, returning to the blank black ones with white slits. As if a limp puppet, Star's body floated up by the head.

"She's more resistant than I thought. But you." The Lich had Star's finger point to me, before dropping it to her side, limply, "You have made a grave error. Mewni shall fall first. Then Earth. And you will watch."

The Lich used Star's power to tear a portal, and vanished through it before I could say anything else.

I dropped to my knees. How could I let this happen?

I don't know how long I was like that, but I was snapped out of my trance when I saw Finn kneeling next to Queen Moon, digging through his green backpack.

"What are you doing?" I asked numbly.

Finn pulled out a small vial. "Cyclops tears."

"Ex...cuse me?" I replied.

He splashed some of the clear goo over Queen Moon. "A few drops of this will heal any injury. I carry tons of this stuff everywhere I go."

He was already running over to Jake by the time Moon had gotten up. As crazy as it sounded, Finn new his stuff; the burn on Moon's hand was gone. She rushed right past Finn and Jake and grabbed my shoulders. "Marco, what happened?"

"We...Finn and I...managed to drive her away. But she's going to attack Mewni." I looked down. I had let her down. Again.

"Then we must leave at once!" Moon said, preparing to transform again.

"Wait." Finn said, causing Moon to turn.

"I'm sorry, but you are...?" Moon asked.

"Sorry Queen Moon, this is Finn," I said, pointing, "and that's his brother, Jake the Dog."

"Sup?" Jake said with a small wave.

"I'm sorry, Queen, but we need to warn Princess Bubblegum first. The Lich is bad news, and I'm usually the last person to say this, but we need a plan." Finn explained.

Moon shook her head and transformed. "There is a threat to my throne and my daughter, I'm leaving at once."

"It's more than that!" Finn pleaded, "The Lich's only goal is complete, multiversal extinction. He is a threat to anything in existence!"

"Then I will make this quick." Moon transformed and opened a portal. I walked forward, but to my surprise, she pushed me away. "Stay here. I'll come back for you."

She was gone before I could protest.

"Huh. I know she's a queen or whatever, but that was kinda rude." Finn said, plainly.

I pulled out my dimensional scissors, but I paused. "I can go back with these, but...what do you mean about this Lich guy?"

Finn sighed. "We'll explain on the way back to the Candy Kingdom. Princess Bubblegum NEEDS to know about this. Come on, Jake."

Before I knew it, we were riding Jake back to the castle.

"The Lich is a creation of the Great Mushroom War, from one thousand years ago. He is the embodiment of evil, and lives only to end life," Finn explained. "He's also a genius, nothing we've ever used to kill him has ever worked more than once. He lives only to end all."

"But why? What does he gain from that?" I asked.

"He doesn't want to gain anything. That's what I mean about boring, generic villain. He doesn't have goals, he's not out for anything. But it doesn't make him any less dangerous or any less scary." Finn answered.

"Then he's gonna go for the wand!" I realized.

"The one she said she gave up?" Finn asked. "You were asleep. She's a sharer. Told us all about the big ole fight."

"Right," I answered, "As powerful as Star is, with the wand she's way more destructive. I need to get back to Mewni ASAP to help."

"WE need to." Finn replied.

"What?" I asked, surprised.

"I know the Lich, Marco," Finn said, "and I'm the Hero of Ooo. I have a duty to track down and defeat the Lich. Even more than that..."

"Even more than what?"

"You seem like a cool guy Marco, and that axe kick was mondo sweet," Finn replied, "but sending you back to Mewni alone to face the Lich is a death sentence. He will kill you like for real. I can't do that. This isn't me doubting you, this is me knowing the Lich is bad news. Right, Jake?"

Jake said nothing.

"Jake..?" Finn asked.

Jake sighed. "Right, Finn."

Sounds like they said some things to work out, but whatever was going on sounded really bad. I won't lie, I'd rather go into this with Finn and Jake if they knew what we were getting into.

We arrived at the same hole Star had smashed through, and Jake parked us all back inside the Candy Castle. Princess Bubblegum was standing over a lab table, using a dropper to put little bits of a green liquid into a container of dust. She took one look at all of our expressions, dropped what she was doing and said, "Oh no...what happened, Finn?"

"It was a trap," he sighed, "by a version of The Lich that came from Marco's dimension."

"WHAT?!" The princess yelled, "The Lich?!"

"Yeah, it used Star's mom to lure Star there, so he could possess her. Marco helped me fight her off, but he...er, she, or whatever, fled to their home dimension. They're going to mess it up, BAD, P.B." Finn explained.

Bubblegum grabbed a small, handheld device off the table. "Then I finished the tracker just in time. You go get the Lich before he comes back. I'll prepare for the worst here."

Finn pocketed the cell-phone like device. "Thanks."

Jake grabbed Finn's hand for a moment. "I...I need to see Lady and the kids before we go."

Bubblegum looked pretty angry, "There's no time-!"

"No, it's fine Prubs," Finn replied, waving his hands, "We need to grab some stuff from the treehouse to prepare. Meet us there, Jake."

Jake took off on his stretchy legs. Finn led me out of the lab and we began to walk through the castle.

"You said Mewni is a pretty magic-based place, right?" Finn asked.

"Yeah, why?" I answered.

"We'll need some magic resistant gear then." Finn said as we left the castle. "We've got some stuff at home."

I looked around the streets. People made of candy canes and chocolate were walking the streets, and everything looked really bright and colorful. Gumdrop children chased each other around a fountain. Everything was so nice here; you'd never think something like the Lich or war would come from a place like this.

"Star would love this place," I said, unable to hide the sadness in my voice.

"Don't worry man," Finn said, patting my shoulder, "We'll get your girlfriend back."

I turned a bright red and stuttered, "S-she's not - It's not like that - I mean we're just friends..."

Finn gave me a raised eyebrow and smirked.

I looked away. "W-what?"

"Man, you got it bad." He chuckled.

I pulled my hood up over my head. "Is it that obvious?"

"Hey man, don't feel bad," Finn reassured, "I've been there. I used to be like that about Bubblegum. You tell her how you feel?"

I looked down at my feet as we walked across the bridge. "Yeah. And I kissed her. But she has a boyfriend...who is also a really good friend of mine."

"Hoo boy." Finn replied, scratching the back of his head.

"I don't even know how she feels." I said, full on venting at this point, "She never really told me. The worst part, is that she used to like me, but we didn't talk for awhile. I was dating someone else, and she got back with her ex."

"Oh dude...that does put you in a rough spot." Finn said. "Sorry. But hey, she used to like you, right?"

"Yeah..." I muttered.

Finn put his arm around me. "Of course she did! You're M-Daz. You got them sweet kicks like what like cray cray. She liked you because you're you, right? And she never told you whether she felt the same way. It's probably super complicated and messed up for her, you know? Star's gotta figure out what Star wants. You keep being your awesome self, and if you're what she wants, it'll happen. And if not, she's missing out. Life has a way of sorting this stuff out."

"You think so?" I asked.

"Yeah man, I saw how she looked at you," Finn replied. "Even if you messed up by kissing her, don't feel too bad about it. I've janked up romantic situations before. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't. Learn from it and keep living."

"How she looked at me...?" I wondered aloud.

Finn just laughed. "Yeah man. It's like how Jake looks at pancakes. Here comes the treehouse. Race you there, lover boy!"

Finn took off running. I couldn't help by smile a bit as I gave chase. He won, thanks to his head start, raising his arms and whooping in victory.

"Alright, you win this one," I conceded. "What are we looking for?"

Finn led me back up the ladder to the main living room, and walked over to a treasure chest that had been tucked in the corner. "Well, we'll need some more cyclops goop," he began, pulling some bottles out of there, putting his backpack on the ground, and shoving them in, "then probably some portable flame shields," he grabbed what looked like small, tiny fire kittens in a jar from the chest, "and I've got some forcefield pellets from my time in the Dungeon Train."

"There's a Dungeon Train?" I asked.

"Yup!" Finn exclaimed, packing more items, "It's a dungeon AND a train! I got so much sick loot from there."

This place was almost like a video game, apparently.

"Hmm." Finn hummed, "I think this is the best we can do. Once Jake gets here, take us to Mewni, we'll track down Star and Moon."

"Speaking of Jake, he has kids?" I asked.

Finn nodded. "Yeah, half dog, half Rainicorn. They aged quick so they're all older than me now - weird dog biology. But...we lost one...in the War."

It was my turn to reach out and grab Finn's shoulder. "I'm sorry man."

"Thanks man...Jake isn't going to show it, but this is really messing him up." Finn replied, sadly. It wasn't hard to see he was kind of messed up about it too.

Our bro moment - broment(?) - was interrupted by a voice saying, "knock knock," as Huntress Wizard walked in.

To her shock, Finn ran up and embraced her. "Whoa there, hot stuff, what's the squeeze for?"

Finn frowned and looked down, "The Lich returned, possessed Star, and fled back to Mewni. I'm going with Marco to try and help. I...may be gone awhile."

Huntress Wizard's eyes widened, and she shoved Finn back. "Finn, what the blood?"

Finn looked nervous. "I know, I just -"

Huntress Wizard pulled him back in, to Finn's surprise, and mine. "You don't run off on quests like this without me." She pulled back and smiled. "You don't get to have all the fun."

Finn smiled. "You're right, H.W. You're in. I'm sorry. I'm not used to having someone who likes to adventure with me."

She smirked. "Someone's got to protect you from yourself, you hothead."

I jumped as Jake casually waltzed into the room, "She's right, I just encourage you're bad decisions."

"You're the one making half of em!" Finn retorted. He turned to me, "Okay M.D., take us to Mewni to go save your lady."

I turned around and cut a hole to Mewn with my scissors. "After you," I motioned. The three of them piled in the portal, and I followed, closing it behind myself. But as I turned to face the castle, I was shocked to see it was up in flames.

"Is it...is it always on fire?" Huntress Wizard asked.

"It's not supposed to be," I muttered, weakly.

Finn pulled out the tracking device he'd been given by the princess. "She's not anywhere near here...neither her or the Queen. Come on, let's look for survivors."

We raced down the hill and into town, and I saw many of the houses that were in the midst of being rebuilt after Meteora's attack were back to being rubble, including ones that hadn't been touched. To his word, Finn and Jake stopped at every rubble pile to make sure no one was buried underneath. "HELLO?!" I called out through cupped hands.

Even the castle was leveled, with only the front walkway remaining. Huntress Wizard climbed a nearby lamp post and inhaled deeply. Then she hopped down. "There's no one here. I can't smell anyone above ground."

"There aren't even any bodies," Jake said, "which, you know, is good I guess, but something clearly happened here."

"Psst!" A voice whispered, causing the four of us to look around.

"Did this castle whisper?" Finn asked.

"Marco, down here!" Hissed a voice from below me. I looked down to a sewer grate against a curb to see King River.

I knelt down. "River, what are you doing down there?"

"Marco, it was terrible," he replied, voice strained, "Moon returned, and burst in, telling the castle to evacuate. Before she could explain, Star burst in, but something terrible has happened to her."

Finn knelt down next to her. "Yup, she's been possessed by the Lich. We're gonna go punch him out of her."

River sighed. "I knew her horn headband looked sinister today."

Finn and I exchanged glances and both decided on not telling River that it wasn't a headband.

"They began fighting," he continued, "and I got as many of the people I could into the sewers. But some...some were completely vaporized by Star..."

"That thing is NOT Star!" I insisted.

"He's right, it's an undead incarnation of evil inhabiting your daughter's body." Finn added. River began to sob, and I gave Finn a dirty look, prompting him to hurriedly say, "But like I said, we're going to free her! Which way did they go?"

"They were going to the magic sanctuary," River replied, "I believe Moon said she was going to use the spring to cleanse whatever was plaguing Star's soul."

"That...might actually work." I replied.

Finn shook his head. "No... taking Lich to the source of anything good just tends to result in him corrupting it. We gotta hurry!"

"To the woods!" I shouted pointing towards the forest, "River, stay here and keep the rest of the mewmans safe!"

"Good luck Marco!" He waved from the sewer grate as we ran off. Jake scooped us all off and turned giant, this time putting me up front on his back since I knew Mewni. I scanned the top of the forest until I saw the sanctuary over the horizon. The tracker Bubblegum made started making all sorts of noises, and Finn silenced it.

"There!" I pointed. As if on cue, blasts of magic game shooting from the sanctuary, firing all over the air, including one that came through the trees and took out one of Jake's legs, sending the four of us toppling into the forest.

I lucked out in landing in a bush. "Ugh...are you guys okay?"

I stepped out into a clearing, and Huntress Wizard leapt down from a tree, right in front of me, prompting me to jump back and scream.

She laughed. "You scream just like Finn does when I do that."

A yellow hand stretched from my right to tap Huntress Wizard on her right shoulder. As she looked, Finn and Jake jumped out from her left, yelling, "WAH!" She gasped and fell on her butt.

"Hahaha! Finally got you back!" Finn gloated.

She smiled and brushed herself off. "Alright, you got me."

I groaned. "Focus guys, they're fighting like, right there! What do we do?!"

"Actually, M-dude, I've got a plan!" Finn said, bringing us all in for a huddle.


Marco and I stood outside the sanctuary.

"How sure are you about this plan, on a scale of 1 to 100, Finn?" Marco asked in a hushed voice.

"Well, I don't lie to homies, so if I'm being honest," I whispered, "like a 42."

"Well..." he replied, clenching his fist, "guess that's all we got."

"That's the only attitude to have," I assured him, "bust out those scissors, home boy. We got this."

We peeked around wall into the door. I recognized Star and her Mom, but then there was this weird guy with a diamond for a head and snakes for hands shooting crystals at Star.

"Who's the weirdo with no face?" I asked.

"That's Rhombulus, part of the Magic High Commission!" Marco whispered. "I think he's trying to trap Star! Yes! Look!"

I squinted, and this Rhombulus guy shot a beam from his head that hit Star, and she quickly became encased in a clear crystal. It crashed to the ground with a thud.

"They did -mmf!" Marco began to say, but I put my hand over his mouth and shushed him.

"Look..." I pointed. "This is just like when I saw the Lich imprisoned in the Crystal Citadel. It's a space prison."

From Star's eyes, a dark green, rotting goo started dripping, dissolving the crystal around her. Before the queen and Rhombulus could react, The Lich burst from the crystal,and flew to Rhombulus with some crazy super speed. "Fight." The Lich commanded.

Rhombulus' head turned a sickly green color, and he turned to the queen and began blasting at her.

"Oh dang, man!" I whispered, and began fidgeting with the settings on my robo-arm. "So are those like, magic diamonds?"

"Yeah, probably. What do we do?" Marco asked.

I showed him the setting I picked on my arm: diamond cutter. "We stick to the plan; watch for me to grab the Lich."

My fingers turned into a buzzaw and began hissing. "I'll take care of Rhombulus."

Marco nodded, and I charged the room, just as the Lich was beginning to look for an exit.

I let my mosts voice crackling war-cry, causing everyone in the room to turn. I leapt into the air and shoved my feet into Rhombulus' stomach, knocking him down. "Keep the Lich busy, your majesty!" I yelled.

Queen Moon looked shocked to see me, but she didn't delay at blasting back at the Lich, and the two of them took to the sky. It was just then I noticed that one of Rhombulus' snake hands were snapping at my feet, so I kicked it across the jaw and hollered, "HANDS OFF THE MERCHANDISE, NERD!"

Rhombulus flipped back to his feet and shot crystals at me, but I was able to slice through them with my diamond cutter, close the gap, and strike him in the head with my cutter. His head cracked slightly, but one of his snake arms had bit me in the side, and he easily hoisted me off the ground and threw me across the chamber.

I skidded across the floor and realized that maybe rating his plan a 42 was a little generous. But I looked up to see that the crack on Rhombulus' head was leaking, and his head was looking more like the normal color. I rolled out of the way of more crystals, and leapt over his crystalizing beam. I just needed to open up that crack a little bit more without killing him.

"Is that all you got?! Some rocks and snakes? I was punching witches tougher than you when I was a baby!" I taunted Rhombulus. He shot his crystalizing beam again, and I switched my arm to it's mirror setting. Thankfully this actually worked, and I was able to shoot the beam back at his feet, freezing him in place. "Diamond cutter!" I commanded my arm, charging, and in a sweet, leaping flip, I dug the cutter a bit deeper in the crack on his head, causing all of the Lich's corrupting goop out of their, and Rhombulus slumped over. He let out a groan that let me know he was still alive.

"Yuss!" I pumped my arms and turned to see Moon and Star still blasting at each other along the sanctuary. "Hmm..."

I looked at the large fountain in the center of the sanctuary. Guess that was my only way up. "Grappling hook!" I told my arm, and launched a hook to the top of the fountain. I flipped myself onto the top, watching the air battle. I looked at the entrance, and saw Marco peek out.

Alright, only one shot, Finn. Moon was close to the fountain, and the Lich dived.

Now.

I jumped from the fountain, landing on Lich's back, and latched my left arm around his - er, Star's throat. I shot my grappling hook down at the ground. But before my arm hit the ground, a portal opened up, cut by Marco. Lich and I hurtled through the hole, and I slammed the Lich, head-first, into the side of the tree my hook landed in. Stunned, Lich fell to the ground, and I rolled out of the way.

Phase 2.

The tree - which was Huntress Wizard, turned back to normal, and used eight magic arrows to pin Star's butterfly wings to the ground. The Lich roared in pain and struggled to get free, but by then, H.W. and I had scattered, which led to Phase 3.

Jake leapt from a nearby tree, and in mid air grew to the largest I had ever seen him, and smashed a gigantic, huge, massive foot down onto the Lich, shaking the ground in a massive stomp.

From beneath his foot, the green vapors of the Lich leaked out into the air, dissipating...but I heard the Lich laugh as he vanished.

The laugh sent shivers down my spine.

"Finn!" I heard Marco yell, running over as Jake shrunk down and stepped off Star. "Was that gas the Lich? Did it work?"

"I think so," I replied, as we ran over to examine her. She was pretty banged up, so I took a vial of Cyclops goop, "Let's just fix her up."

As I was digging through my pack, Queen Moon flew over, shock and surprise all over her face. But then she took a look at Marco's dimensional scissors and sighed, "I keep forgetting you have those."

I dumped the tears. Within an instant, Star opened her eyes, wide and shocked. "Finn?" She asked.

"Sup." I said with a small wave.

She looked around and sprang up, wrapping her arms around Marco. "Thank you..." She said, quietly.

Way different from her normal attitude, but, an encounter with the Lich will donk your brainscape.

Marco hugged her back back tightly. "It was Finn's plan. All I did was open a portal." Still, Star held him more tightly.

They're kinda cute together. I'm rooting for them.

I turned to Huntress Wizard. "Are you okay? Getting grappling hooked probably didn't feel great."

She just smiled and ruffled my hat. "Tree me is pretty resilient. You did good, hot buns."

"Hey, what about me?" Jake huffed.

I laughed and gave him a fist pound. "You brought the whole thing home, bro.

Star let go of Marco and hugged her mom. "I'm so sorry...I never wanted to hurt you. Or any of the people."

Far from her harsh tone, Moon said, gently, "It's not your fault, Star..."

Marco looked over to me, and I gave him a thumbs up. He smiled back. I turned to the Queen and cleared my throat. "I don't want to damp on these good time vibes, but I'm pretty sure the Lich is still out there. As his gross...soul gas or whatever left, it let out an evil laugh. I don't think we're in the clear."

Moon rubbed her chin. "It's never that simple, is it?" She sighed. "With my magic, I can restore the castle. Stay here tonight, and we can plan our course of action tomorrow. I owe you an apology, Finn. And you, Marco. I should have trusted you to help."

Star went back and hugged Marco again. "Uh, yeah mom. You know by now Marco kicks almost as much butt as I do."

Marco blushed. "I mean, almost."

"Group hug!" Jake called, stretching his arms around ALL of us and pulled us in tight for a squeeze.

"Oh my..." the queen muttered.

Star, however, laughed. "Jake, you're my kind of dog."

I laughed too. "Alright, ya ham, put us down and take us back to the kingdom."

Jake stretched himself really long, and looked to the Queen. "Here, your majesty, you can have the best...SEAT in the house."

He turned his butt into a throne, prompting all of us except the Queen to laugh as she sat awkwardly on Jake's throne-butt.

As we rode back to the kingdom, I couldn't help but wonder what the Lich was planning now. Or, knowing him...

...was this all part of his plan?


I hope you all enjoyed!