Chapter 2: Old Wounds

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight


That week, Jeanne told me in no uncertain terms that she was mine. I should have been ecstatic, but somehow I felt … I don't know … kind of neutral. Don't get me wrong, she was as sweet as can be, and I enjoyed her company. Maybe I just needed to get to know her better.

I began to notice certain things about Jeanne. It seemed like she was always in a dress or a skirt, not in jeans like Bella wore all the time. She didn't have that habit of biting her lip like her, or tripping over her own two feet. I never heard holy cow, whenever I was around her, and the Converse were missing. Maybe it was a good thing that my imprint didn't remind me of her at all.

There I go, already comparing Jeanne to the girl that got away. Why am I torturing myself? The wound in my heart was threatening to tear open at the seams again, just when I needed to bury Bella's memory once and for all. Wasn't imprinting supposed to tie me to the earth, bind my heart to Jeanne so that I could feel comfort and lasting happiness? Why was I still thinking about Bella then?


Jeanne met me at the house, and I walked with her to where the bonfire was being held. Everyone gathered about us, shaking hands and introducing themselves. It was obvious that she was welcomed by the pack.

The crowd hindered my dad from getting to us, so I purposely strode to his wheel chair, dragging my girl with me. "Dad, I want you to meet Jeannie. Jeannie, this is my dad, Billy Black."

Dad's eyes lit up. There was no doubt in my mind that he approved of my girl. He sandwiched her hand between his gnarled ones. "Hello, Jeannie, welcome back to La Push. My son's told me a lot about you. I'm glad he finally brought you here to meet me."

Letting go of her hand, he turned to me with a twinkle in his eye. "Well, Son, this is a cause for celebration." Then he gestured toward the felled log that substituted for a bench. "Go on, have a seat, and let's get started."

All eyes were on us as we took a spot and sat down. The whole time, Jeanne had her head on my shoulder, snuggled up to me as Dad narrated the legends and the histories of our people.

Paul and Rachel wheeled my dad back to the house to get him ready for bed. Quil, Embry and his girl, Naya, stayed behind, getting to know Jeanne a little more.

Quil opened his big mouth, and as usual put his even bigger foot in it. "Man, I'm so glad you finally caught this guy. He was an absolute wreck before you showed up."

I gave him a look to can it, but he went right on blabbin'—the idiot.

"Hardly ever smiled. Couldn't move on for the longest time. Drove us all nuts. Bella really did a number on him."

Jeanne glanced at me, and noticed how tense I got at the mention of her name.

"That's enough, Quil, I think she gets the picture."

I led Jeanne away from him, toward the beach. I heard a thud as Embry punched Quil in the arm. "Stupid."

We held hands while we strolled along the shore. Jeanne broke the silence. The driftwood bench loomed before us, and she pointed at it, saying, "Why don't we go sit down over there."

No … not there. That was our bench—the one special place where Bella and I talked. I couldn't bring myself to look at it, let alone sit on it. I hadn't been anywhere near the thing since she left me heartbroken and alone.

I covered for myself quickly. "Nah, let's get you out of the cold. There's a small cave up ahead, we can go inside and warm up."


The cave was just a short distance away, and it did offer shelter from the wind and cold in that respect. I sat down, and gestured for her to sit on my lap. I wound my arms around her, sharing my heat.

There was an awkward silence stretching between us. Her voice was low, just above a whisper, as if she was afraid that her words might somehow injure me. She was right about that. "How come you didn't tell me about your ex? I told you everything about Eli."

Shrugging, I lamely said, "I don't know. It just never came up."

"It has now."

"I don't really like to talk about her. Anyway, she's history, a part of the past, and you're the present and my future. I want to focus on you."

She lifted her head, her eyes bright and innocent. "That is so sweet. I love you, Jacob."

Jeanne squirmed on my lap, rising up on her knees on either side of my legs. She took my face in her hands and kissed me. I'm ashamed to say that was our first kiss, and she had to initiate it. It was okay as far as kisses go, I guess, but it could never compare with the earth shattering kiss on the mountain top that Bella and I shared. The memory of that kiss would stay with me for the rest of my life.


I made up my mind then and there that I was going to make this work. Jeanne deserved my full attention and loyalty, and I couldn't do that if I still held a place in my heart for the girl that trampled all over it. I stopped listening in on the conversations between Charlie and my dad. I actually told Dad that I didn't want to hear any news about her. What did I care if Bella was alive or dead? She was dead to me one way or the other, so what difference did it make? None whatsoever! I hated her for making me like this. Even being so far away, she had come between me and my imprint, but no more.

As the months went on, Jeanne and I got closer, and I smiled without having to force it. I thought about how I'd always wanted to have a family, and Jeanne and I talked about it too. It was time to buy a ring.

She was so excited. "Yes, a thousand times, yes. I'll marry you, Jake. I promise I'll make you happy."

"You have to make me another promise though."

"What's that?"

Stroking her cheek, I said, "I don't want us to get hitched until you graduate, Jeannie. You have to promise me you'll do that."

"You know I'd do anything for you. Oh, Jake, I can't believe it. We're engaged! I'm the luckiest girl in the world."

She sailed into my arms and kissed me all over my face. I chuckled at her enthusiasm; I'm pretty sure I made her day.


After my graduation, I got a job at the rehab center in Beaver, which was ironic since that's where Jeanne's brother, Micah, went, right before she started at WSU. I really enjoyed working there for the last eight months. It seemed like I was contributing to the tribe as a whole. Dad, along with the elders, were proud of my accomplishment. They were also very approving of my wolf's chosen … my imprint.

Jeanne was like a flame, gathering human moths around her. Everyone in La Push loved her. I loved her, but was that enough? She was anxious to be my wife, and her graduation was only a few weeks away. It wouldn't be long now 'til we walked down the aisle. We hadn't actually set a date though, and I wondered if there was any way I could put off the wedding a little while longer. I should've been out looking for an apartment for us, and yet, I was living at home with my dad and Rachel. Subconsciously, it was just one more excuse to hold off on our marriage. I didn't understand why I felt that way. I loved Jeanne, she was everything to me now, but there was still an unconscious something nagging at me, holding me back from giving my heart to her completely.

I felt like such a fraud whenever my friends came to visit. How did they do it? How did they stay so content? Even Quil—and he imprinted on a baby for cryin' out loud. He doted on the kid, or seemed to. I asked him one Saturday morning while he was helping to change the spark plugs on Uncle Omni's pickup. "Tell me the truth, Quil. Do you wish you hadn't imprinted on Clare?"

He scrunched up in face in concentration. "Huh … I never really thought about it. I just don't remember ever being without her near. I feel very protective of her, and I'd go nuts if anyone harmed a hair on her head. And besides … sometimes …"

I leaned toward him. "Yeah?"

"She lets me share her toys."

Jeez, what a clown. No wonder she loved him. I threw a towel at him, laughing. "Thanks, pal. You're just a wellspring of wisdom."

Quil suddenly looked serious. "Why are you asking me this? Is there trouble in paradise?"

"Nah, Jeannie's great. I just wondered, that's all." What a lie.

Yeah, my imprint was super, maybe that was the problem. We never fought. Jeanne had a very cool temperament. If she didn't agree with something I said or I did, she discussed it with me, calmly, and rationally. I didn't remember her ever raising her voice in anger. Bella had a bad temper, and she and I would have knock down, drag outs. At the time, I hated fighting with her, but at least it made me feel alive, and got my emotions churned up. I missed that.

I agreed with Quil about the protective part. I wanted to see Jeanne healthy, happy and safe. If she was hurt, I'd be hurt too.


Since Quil was no help at all, I decided to talk to Dad. We finished up the work on the pickup, and Quil drove it back to Omni's.

I found Dad in the living room looking through the day's mail.

"Hey, Dad, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure, sure. You wouldn't be asking if it wasn't important to you. And if it's important to you, then it's important to me too."

He set the mail aside, and looked up at me waiting to hear what I had to say. How do you start a freakin' conversation like this one?

Okay, here goes … "Whaddya think of Jeannie? I want your honest opinion."

"She's a wonderful girl, and she'll make a wonderful wife."

His brow furrowed, and his eyes were like lasers boring into mine. Wise ol' owl … "What's this all about, Jacob?"

I slumped down onto the couch. "I don't know. We should be perfect for each other, but there's just something … missing. I see the other guys with their imprints and there're all—satisfied I guess is the word. What do you think I should do?"

"It doesn't matter what I think. If you're having doubts now, imprinted or not, they should be resolved before you get married."

Leaning forward, I clasped my hands, resting them on my thighs. "But what if I'm wrong? What if I'm mistaking what I feel for her? Maybe I do love her, yet searching for something more—something that doesn't even exist."

Dad's wheelchair began to move, backing away from me. "Hmm … all I can say is, don't set the wedding date until you're absolutely sure, because when the children start coming, it's too late, and the casualties will be huge."

Settling back against the couch cushions once again, I sighed in frustration. "I guess I've known that all along. I'll give myself some time to really drill down to the root of my worries, and hope the spirits help me along the way."

I thought long and hard about what Dad said. I did have doubts, but doubts about what? What was it that I was missing? Was life with Jeanne gonna be such a hum-drum existence? She was such a pleaser. Could I live like that? Then all at once it hit me—there was no chemistry, no spark, no explosion of passion—passion that had always been there for Bella. But now that I put my finger on it, what was I gonna do? I felt so guilty. She was my imprint, and yet I still harbored feelings for the girl who drove that old red truck.

The following morning, I went out driving in my RAV to clear my head. I went past the Saveright and noticed a faded, red, 1953 Chevy pickup. No, it couldn't be; yet there it was, plain as day, sitting in the parking lot. All at once, my heart began pounding wildly in my chest. My world was about to be tilted on its axis.