It was a fine summer day in Randomtown, USA. All of the nations were having a meeting. Or rather, immersed in utter chaos. All quoting lines from the anime because the writer is too lazy to make real jokes, they stall for time because no one knows what's going on. Until…

"Hey, what's up?" A random teenager with a ridiculously stereotyped Brooklyn accent strides into the room, grinning.

"New York!" America exclaims, standing quickly, "What are you doing?"

"You were taking awhile to end the meeting so the others sent me here to see what was happening." Oh, right, New York. Because the only thing that exists in New York is New York City. Better go overboard on the description of just one state so you will forever be confused as to who this even is. Let's see, where were we?

"Who the hell are you?" There goes England.

"New York."

"You mean the state?" Germany seems confused.

"Yes like the state. I know all you are definitely not composed of multiple states, some of which were once independent nations. Because obviously in a world where states get personifications, only American states count." New York grins and walks away, only to be shoved back into the room by, no joke, 49 other kids. Fifty in total.

That's right folks, the writer is so uninvested that s/he just put fifty teenagers in a single room with a full meeting of nations already there. But who cares about realism? Certainly not anyone at all! And now, we will be dragged through a description of each state.

Connecticut is really short and blond. And misspelled.

New York gets a re-description.

California is prissy teenaged girl.

Nevada is a total slut.

Texas is a cowboy.

All southern states are ridiculously stereotypically "southern" to the point of being offensive.

Massachusetts likes baseball.

Maine speaks like Canada.

Ohio and Pennsylvania hate each other.

Vermont is also like Canada.

So is New Hampshire.

Alaska and Hawai'i are five.

Montana does not exist.

The author got all info on New Jersey by watching Jersey Shore.

Nebraska is eating corn.

So is Idaho.

Maryland is holding a live crab.

So, I hope you remembered all that, because there will be no more hints as to who or what these guys look like or their personality. All aboard the confusion train!

"Shut up New York!" That's Massachusetts, I think. It seems like a girl, but no hints are given. Wasn't Massachusetts a guy first? Oh well, who really cares anyway.

"Why should I?" Except the "New York" accent makes it look like someone ripped all the letters out of a keyboard except five and the apostrophe. He says something along the lines of "I hate you" but it could be anything.

"Stop all this ruckus!" It's Texas! Who then decides to try beat up someone described so vaguely he could be punching a lamp.

"Yeah!" Says Kansas. Well there you go, Midwest. You got one state to say one word. You no longer exist.

California comes forward, rambling about something unimportant. You can just skip the dialogue, you aren't missing anything.

"No!" Screams Utah. Or is it Idaho?

"No one cares, Montana!" Oh, so Montana's entering the universe was so fierce it shoved Utah into another dimension? Well, the chaos only escalates further, so have a look at these lines! Don't bother trying to find out who they belong to, I certainly couldn't!

"Oh yeah, well go back to eating corn!"

*Unintelligible grumbling noises*

"I'm so awesome!"

"Hey~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!"

*Insert badly written southern accent here*

And here too!

Add some racist and offensive remarks while you're at it.

"Shut up!" Ooooh, I think it's Germany, but for all we know it could it could be stapler with eyes glued to it.

"Yes, D.C." the fifty states chorus. Then they remain silent and obedient as the capital lectures them on not wasting time for fifteen minutes.

Also, why D.C.? She isn't a state. Also, why female? All the other states are male; at least they seem to be. So why a girl? There's no problem with female OCs, it's just…

The long and boring info dump of a description can be summarised as the following:

D.C. is the most beautiful person to ever walk the earth. What makes her beautiful is unknown.

She is the kindest person ever. Her day job is saving orphans and killing Nazis.

She is in no corrupt, mean, flawed, or the like. She is as pure as pure can get.

Or, to summarise a summary, she is the most annoying kind of Mary Sue to ever curse a fanfiction.

She talks about a few things, hooks a few nations together like Writer's little girl, and then gets together with America. Wait, what?

It said, albeit briefly, that the states are America's children? So wouldn't D.C. be his kid too? Or is this just an exception so the author can have her clone be felt up by her totally-not-father? It's probably that.

Quickly, states, quickly! Nations too! Run, before the Sue gets you! Run America, before it's too late!

Ignoring the fact that they are in front of 80+ people, America decides to get all lovey and crap. "You know D.C., before you came along I was completely alone, if you ignore my brother, England, all those other countries I'm totally not friends with. I was depressed and alone, because I can't think of another sad word. Alone, alone, alone."

"I know." Say D.C., getting closer, "But you are not alone now. You have me. And all your friends who were here before. I will never leave you. And you will never leave me because the writer says so, and the writer is me. And she really wants to write a sex scene with her clone, so let's have sex! It's totally not incest."

"Okay." Say America, "Let's."

That screaming noise you hear is me, trying bleach my eyes.


Hello world! This took awhile, mostly because I forgot about it. I have nothing against state/country/capital OCs, in fact I really like them. It's just frustrating when the person doesn't know about what the OC is representing, and when they have a million all at once. I shall see you next time, SCC out!