The loss of Innocents
.3.
Adrien woke to the sound of Nino and Ayla's hushed voices at his bedroom door and it took him a minute to remember last night's events.
So, she was back and he had no idea how he felt about it nor did he feel like having a D&M with the two people that kept it from him.
It was the first week of September and Adrien should have been starting his second year at University with his friends but he had decided to defer for a year. He'd almost flunked his courses last year and he knew his head and heart wasn't in it. His father wasn't happy about it but Adrien promised to continue modelling for his fashion label until he sorted himself out.
He hated how fake the industry was but at least the money was good and it was a distraction from his dark thoughts.
Groaning Adrien forced himself to sit up. Rubbing his eyes, he stood and walked across the small room. He opened the door surprising Alya who nearly tumbled into him but Nino was quick to catch her.
"Don't you two have anything better to do than wake me up?" Adrien growled at them.
Nino at least had the decency to look embarrassed and shrug at him but Alya crossed her arms and stared Adrien down.
"Well someone needs to keep an eye on you… Shouldn't you be at the studio already?" She sounded pissed off and it only fuelled Adrien's anger. What right did she have to be pissed off at him, they were the ones that were keeping secrets from him.
Ignoring them he pushed past the annoyingly cute couple and stormed down the hallway to the bathroom. Adrien hadn't decided yet if he was in the mood to talk to them about last night. His head was pounding from the lack of sleep and he needed a shower first to clear his thoughts. He had no idea what time it was but he'd already come to the conclusion that he was going to be late.
Stripping off his dirty clothes and throwing them in the hamper, he jumped into the shower. Adjusting the water as hot as his aching body allowed, he quickly washed his blonde hair thinking about last night's events.
Shit, he didn't think it was possible but somehow she'd managed to grow even more beautiful with age and her body…
But then he remembered she wasn't alone and he felt his chest restrict around his heart.
Resting his hands against the wall and lowering his head, he let the water run through his hair and down his face hiding the tears that were escaping his tired eyes.
Adrien had tried so hard to move on with his life but everywhere he turned he was haunted by her memory and of cause living in her house didn't help. At the end of the day someone had to be here to help Sabine and like hell he would have been able to ignore her and go on with his life like nothing happened... like he had no part in destroying her world…
He didn't want to feel like this anymore… he knew he still loved her but if he was given the choice he would have stopped a long time ago.
He was angry beyond words, she had hurt him… abandoned him just like his mother had. The only two females he had ever loved had left him… maybe it was his fault… maybe he wasn't worth loving.
Adrien had always felt like it was his fault and most nights his nightmares had punished him over and over again. Always the same nightmare and always the same outcome.
Deep down he always feared she blamed him… fuck he blamed himself… he had failed her, could he really expect her to still love him.
His mind drifted back to the night that changed everything…
The four friends had decided to go to Kim's party together. Nino was the DJ for the event and his friends had never missed one of his gigs.
Marinette wasn't her normal bubbly self and Adrien had tried to talk to her but Alya had told him it was best to leave her alone. Later he found out from Nino that she had a fight with her father and he'd grounded her but she left anyway.
It wasn't like her to fight with her parents, he'd always loved visiting her home even though it made it hard to go back to his empty house. Tom and Sabine were always happy to see him and he got the impression they were secretly hoping he would ask Marinette out.
It had crossed his mind over the years, he felt strangely connected to her and the more time he spent with her the more he couldn't imagine his life without her in it. Somehow, even though ladybug had rejected him time after time, his loyalty to her held him back.
After an hour Adrien decided to ignore Alya and talk to her anyway. He hadn't seen her for a while and was worried about her. When he found her talking to Nathaniel he was surprised to feel jealousy start to twist around him stomach. He had no idea why he suddenly felt like this but watching the way Nathaniel looked at her made Adrien want to punch him in the face.
Deciding option number two was more likely going to win him points, he quickly interrupted the two and asked her to dance. She smiled up at him and said, 'Bout time you asked' in a dreamy voice and he realised she'd been drinking.
She'd grabbed him a drink before they reached the dance floor and he had laughed at her but politely taken the drink and downed it quickly trying to ignore the burning sensation at the back of his throat.
They danced and drank for over an hour and when the music had turned slow thanks to Nino, he had gently grabbed her waist and pulled her against him. Looking into those blue eyes of hers he was about to kiss her when all hell broke out.
People were screaming from the balcony and Adrien knew straight away his dizzy head was going to be a problem for his alter ego Chat Noir… At least ladybug would be able to take charge and he could just back her up if it was an Akuma attack…
Little did he know at the time it had been his lady feeding him drinks for the last hour and by the end of the night someone she loved would be dead.
Struggling to get his emotions under control Adrien turned the water off and dried his body. He hated thinking about that night and now she was back he knew there was no escaping his demons.
With his hair still dripping, he wrapped the towel around himself and headed for the kitchen.
He knew Sabine would already be downstairs in the bakery with the new baker and he didn't care if Nino and Alya were still here. If they didn't like his lack of clothes they could leave.
His shower hadn't helped his head and he was left feeling angry and agitated hoping the day would hurry up and end so he could disappear into the night as his alter ego Chat Noir.
Nino and Alya were seated at the breakfast bar deep in conversation eating breakfast that Sabine had prepared for them. This had become like a second home to the pair as they helped Sabine and Adrien come to terms with the tragedy.
Before she left, she'd given Nino, Alya and Chloe their own miraculous'. Master Fu had trusted her judgment knowing Chat Noir would need help without her.
Adrien was surprised when she chose Chloe but Chloe surprised them all and took the role very seriously.
Sabine welcomed them into her home and even though she knew their secrets she never brought it up unless there was a need to. It had become a meeting place for the three sometimes four and Adrien knew it made Sabine happy to have a full house as a welcome distraction from her pain.
"Adrien would it kill you to put some clothes on." Alya winged screwing up her face. She loved Adrien like a brother and had caught him in compromising positions on more than one occasion, but she knew it made her boyfriend Nino uncomfortable when his best friend strutted his perfect model body around in front of her.
"If you don't like it leave." Adrien snapped as he opened the fridge. Taking the milk carton out, he ignored her protests as he drunk out of the carton.
"Well aren't you in a lovely mood this morning." Ayla shot back turning to Nino.
"Yeah… So, bro about that phone call last night…" Nino didn't normally get tongue tied but he knew how wrong it was that his best friend had been kept in the dark.
"Oh, would you look at the time… gotta go. Been great chatting, we should do it again sometime… when you're not busy keeping shit from me." Adrien said pretending to look at an invisible watch on his arm before grabbing a piece of toast of Alya's plate.
"Adrien, we need to talk about this…" Alya yelled after him but he ignored her and headed to his bedroom eating the toast as he went.
Closing the door, he dropped the towel and looked around for clean clothes. Finding a pair of black jeans, he pulled them on then grabbed a clean shirt and tossed it over his wet hair. Picking up his cell phone from the floor, he wasn't surprised to see the screen was cracked but the display was still visible enough to see all the missed calls and text messages.
He was late and no doubt would get a lecture on punctuality when he arrived. Shoving his cell in his pocket he grabbed his helmet, keys and wallet.
"Forgetting something?" Plagg flew in front of his face before he could head back out the door.
"Be warned I'm not in the mood today Plagg. Sure, you don't want to hang here for the day?" Adrien threw on his black leather jacket and let Plagg slip inside.
"What's new. Maybe you should just find her so you can kiss and make up. Besides the studio has the best cheese platers." Plagg mumbled as he settled into the pocket in Adrien's Jacket.
Adrien almost choked on his own saliva at his Kwami's comment. The little cat had a way with words and Adrien had got use to it over the years but when the Kwami wasn't thinking about his stomach he kept busy complaining about Adrien's messy love life.
"It's not that simple Plagg… she left me." Adrien frowned feeling his temper flair as he reminded himself that she had moved on.
"Did you ever think she might have had a good reason. I give you 24 hours before the two of you lock lips."
"She's moved on… and so have I." Adrien snapped.
"We'll see." Plagg smiled at Adrien before disappearing further into his pocket.
Adrien couldn't wait to get out of there and even though he was late he was looking forwards to the half an hour ride to the studio.
Sabine and Alya had begged him not to buy his motorbike and it worried them even more when Nino told them it wasn't just any bike but one of the fastest on the market. Alya commented that he had more money than brains to ride a death trap like that but Adrien reminded her that what they did most nights was worst.
So, ignoring their final protests he bought his black Kawasaki Ninja H2 home. When he couldn't be Chat Noir, it was one of the only ways he could clear his head and he needed that more than anything today.
Walking back into the kitchen he was surprised to find Nino and Alya still there.
"Shouldn't you guys be at school or something?" Adrien asked putting his helmet down on the bench and crossing his arms.
"It's Saturday bud, we're heading into the studio. Alya's doing a story on the fashion show and I'm helping out with the sound check. I thought I could give you a lift, looks like it's going to rain and you know how much Sabine worries when you ride in the rain." Nino smiled at Adrien hoping his best friend would stop pushing them away. The more time that passed the more distant Adrien had become and Nino was starting to worry that even M wouldn't be able to bring the old light-hearted Adrien back.
Before Adrien could answer Alya's message tone loudly interrupted them. She quickly grabbed her cell and read the message. Adrien noticed that she looked nervous as she quickly typed something back before looking at him.
A second later his sensitive ears heard a second message tone from somewhere above them.
"You have to be fuckin' kidding me." Adrien growled at Alya.
"She's here?" Adrien asked as he started to back away from his friends edging closer to the stairs that lead up to her room.
"No, Adrien wait. Think about this before you do something or say something stupid." Alya warned but it was too late, Adrien was already halfway up the stairs taking them three at a time.
The fox in Alya was fast but not as fast as the angry cat who had already opened the trapdoor into her room. Slamming it down he quickly locked it ignoring her angry cries as he stood up. Alya could easily bust the lock but they all had way too much respect for Sabine to damage her apartment.
Looking around her old room left him feeling uneasy even though he knew she would be on the roof, otherwise she would have set off the alarm system. He hadn't been in here for months and everywhere he looked reminded him of her.
All of sudden he felt nerves and unsure of himself as his anger started to slip.
When she first left he use to come in here just to feel close to her and often fell asleep on her bed. It smelled like her but as time had passed and her scent had faded it had turned into a cruel reminder that he'd lost her.
"Kid, you sure you're up to this?" Plagg asked sensing his charges swirling emotions.
"Shut up Plagg…" Adrien growled, annoyed that his Kwami always seemed to doubt him.
"Why you humans put yourself through this I'll never know. That's why I love cheese so much. It not only tastes good but doesn't talk back." Plagg mumbled from somewhere in Adrien's jacket.
Adrien ignored his Kwami and turned the alarm off with a trembling hand and opened the hatch. He had no idea what he was going to say to her but he wasn't going to let her see his pain.
