Chapter 3
The morning they found Tessaiga was a difficult one for Kagome. She wasn't blind – she could easily see the depression in the earth surrounding the sword that spoke of one of Kikyou's portals to hell. But the worst part of the whole thing was what she realized in that moment – Kikyou had basically tricked Inuyasha into going to hell alone...
Because she knew she would not be going with him.
She couldn't – because Kagome existed in that time period and was already using that soul. So when she drew him into hell he descended, and she let go of her clay form and surrendered that fragment of soul to her reincarnation, leaving him alone in darkness – just as he had been when Kagome found him bound to the Goshinboku.
Oh, Inuyasha, you fool. She led you to your doom, and you followed all unknowing. She wished she could understand why Kikyou had done what she had – she had known full well that Naraku had betrayed her, not Inuyasha, so that was not a valid reason for what she'd done. Could she have somehow foreseen that he would betray her, Kagome, in some way and wished to punish him for that? After all, she would have seen it as him betraying her, just in a different form.
After a little while, though, she'd cast the whole thing aside – there was little point in worrying over it, since it was an answer she could never have hope of gaining. After Mattaki had retrieved the Tessaiga, which chimed welcomingly when he lifted it free of the dirt in a manner it never had for Inuyasha, she'd requested that he and Totosai create a grave marker for the hanyou. It was the last thing she could do for the inuhanyou she'd loved, and though she was angry at him for deserting her as he had, she still couldn't find it in her to leave his grave unmarked and forgotten.
Casting her an enigmatic glance Mattaki agreed, and while Totosai created it from some heavy boulders in a nearby clearing he filled in the depression with smaller stones, almost building a cairn, save that he left the center clear for the headstone Totosai was at that minute creating, blowing flame from his mouth to heat the rock enough so that he could form it.
When it was finished and placed Kagome nodded, pleased, and smiled at the two. "Thank you," she'd said softly, tears running swiftly down pink'd cheeks as she'd said her goodbyes to the boy – because he was really little more than that – she'd loved so much. And despite his betrayal of her, she'd realized that she couldn't find it in her to hate him – to be angry, yes, but hate was beyond her and was something she didn't miss for all that.
They spent the night there, giving Kagome time to kneel at the grave and say some prayers, and to cry herself out. Just being there where he'd disappeared from the waking world allowed her to grieve and say goodbye in a way she really hadn't been able to since it had happened. It was a rough night for her, even in her sleep, once she'd managed to find any. It was troubled and poor, and Mattaki, watching quietly, knew she would be tired in the morning and so planned to make sure they moved slowly and stopped earlier than normal so she could catch up with her body's needs once the sharp edge of her grief had been dulled once more.
The next few days passed quietly, and oddly, Kagome found herself coming out of her upset daze a lot quicker than she had thought she would. After thinking on the matter for some time she decided that it was because of her companion. His quiet care and matter of fact acceptance of her grief and her choice in destinations lifted her spirits, and she began comparing him and his son - subconsciously, at least at first.
She tried not to once she realized she was, turned her mind deliberately to other things every time she caught herself, but it didn't matter what she did, she found herself constantly noting the differences. After a while of trying to stop herself, she decided to just do it openly and get it over with so she could figure out whatever it was her mind was trying to tell her.
First off, the biggest and most notable difference was in temperament. With Inuyasha there was fighting, name-calling, negative comparisons, and nagging on an almost constant basis. Peaceful times between them were few and far between, and that wasn't even including his relationships with the others in the group.
He was always in a rush, although that really was an unfair comparison, considering that they had been after Naraku and had a reason to rush a great deal of the time, while now, there really was no hurry. Still, even during times where they had no information and were taking a break he was always impatient, always pushing.
It made her wonder if he was hyper or something... maybe he had ADDHHD, or Attention Deficit Dog Hanyou Hyperactivity Disorder. The rather odd thought made her giggle, lightening the daze just a little as her sense of humor woke up a bit and tickled her for a moment.
Mattaki was nothing like that at all. He was caring, thoughtful, always polite and noticed everything when it came to her comfort and well-being. He never rushed, letting her set the pace she was comfortable with without comment about her 'human weaknesses'. He didn't push himself on her in any way, letting her come to him if she wished to talk, otherwise letting her work her way through her sadness and grief at her own rate.
When it came down to it, when he swore to protect someone he meant it, as was obvious the first time they came across a youkai that felt like fighting. The damn demon had wanted to fight her – but hadn't even gotten to finish his challenge before he was dead. And the best part of it was...not a drop of demon guts or goop came anywhere near her, unlike Inuyasha, who regularly drenched her in the stuff.
He also seemed to know where every single hot spring in Japan was located, and managed to find one for her every other night at least, if not every night, for which she was mind-numbingly grateful. That was another difference between he and Inuyasha – Mattaki didn't mind her love of bathing as he seemed to enjoy it just as much, always taking a turn after she had hers – which was a decidedly un-Japanese behavior.
The concept of ladies first did not exist in their culture, women were expected to walk behind the men and the head of the household always went first, including at mealtimes.
It made her curious enough to ask him about it one day as they were walking along in silence, Myouga having decided to head back to Mattaki's estate and await their return in comfort.
"Mattaki?" she called quietly to get his attention; it had seemed as though he were in deep thought.
He immediately turned to her with a smile, that same smile she'd noted the first time she'd met him was dangerous; that hadn't changed with proximity and if anything it made it worse and she stumbled slightly at the beauty of it.
Blushing at the knowing light in golden eyes, she forced her mind back to her question. "Um... if you don't mind me asking... why are you so different from most males of Japanese origin? I know that youkai and human are different races and all, but the mannerisms are the same between them – youkai or ningen, we are all Japanese. You act differently, though."
He blinked, obviously not expecting that line of questioning, and not sure what she meant. "If you could qualify what exactly you are asking...?" he trailed off.
"Well, I mean, your manners are more European than Japanese. The concept of 'ladies first' is definitely not from this area," she said dryly, brow furrowed. "European men, while still being dominating were usually a little more polite about their belief that they were better than women."
At that Mattaki chuckled. "Ah. I see. As to that, it would probably be mostly, though not completely, because of my mother – and how my father treated her. You see, my mother was not from Japan. She was from Europe, though not necessarily claiming any certain country as home, as her people wandered – they were conquerors. But you are right, their mannerisms were very different. My father traveled with my mother's people for a long time, which is how he came to meet her, and after a while he picked up their behavior. He knew she would never accept being treated as the women here are, and never forced her to try to fit in, either." He smiled at her. "He would have had a fight on his hands if he had – she was definitely an alpha female in a way few youkai females here ever are."
Kagome was fascinated by his story. "So the way he treated her rubbed off on you, then?"
He shook his head, a far away look in his eyes as he laughed. "No... my mother made sure I learned what you both call manners. She refused to have her son treat a woman the way the 'barbarians' here do, as she called the males of this country. And any male that challenged her for her words usually ended up dead."
Kagome blinked. "What happened to the ones that didn't die?" she asked, still taking that in.
"Those were the ones who wisely backed down," he chuckled fondly, obviously having loved his mother very much.
"What did she look like?" she asked softly, studying him closely as he talked of his family.
He was silent for a moment as he looked back into the distant past, then said, "She was tall and slender, with golden hair and eyes of an unusual but very beautiful twilight color. I've never seen eyes like hers on any other. My grandmother, my mother's mother, claimed it was because she had foresight. And she did, so perhaps grandmother was right. Anyway, she had lovely purple crests, one on each cheek that echoed her eyes, and a wide, beautiful smile. Many were so taken with her beauty that was all they saw, which was a dangerous mistake to make – she was very powerful and a strong warrior."
"And what about your father?"
"My father... he was very different with my mother and me than he was with anyone else. In manner he was a great deal like Sesshoumaru, actually. Cold and controlled – at least once he became Lord. But with my mother and I he was warm and loving. He loved my mother greatly, and seeing their relationship taught me much about love. I look a great deal like him, except that he didn't have the usual golden eyes of our line, having his mother's silver, instead."
"Oh." She eyed him, a question burning in her mind about his reasons for having two females, but wasn't sure how to ask it, or if he would even answer her. She certainly didn't want to anger or offend him...
She was startled from her thoughts by his voice. "Ask. I can tell there is something on your mind."
Continuing to dither she sighed and frowned, not sure she should, but finally she couldn't hold back and asked, "With the relationship between your parents, why... well, what I mean is, why did you get together with Sesshoumaru's mother and then leave her for Inuyasha's?"
He didn't seem too surprised by her question. "Satori was introduced to me by my parents and hers. They were hoping we would be agreeable to a mating. And... I admit I was blinded by her beauty. She was and is one of the most beautiful females I've ever seen. Think of a female Sesshoumaru, for he resembles her greatly." He nodded as Kagome's eyes widened. "Indeed. And for a time I was quite happy with the idea of mating her – she was beautiful, highly intelligent, and powerful. Then my parents died... and her cold manner began to turn me away."
He broke off his story to tilt his head her direction; she flushed realizing what he was hearing.
"Do not be embarrassed," he smiled, "hunger is, after all, a natural thing. We will take a break here, since it is a nice place with plenty of shade." He pointed to the meadow to the side of the path they had been following for the last several days as they headed into the Ox-Tiger. Kagome nodded and found a nice spot in some cool grass and sat down, happy to take a rest.
After the two had eaten and relaxed somewhat, Mattaki continued his tale with little prompting from her.
"Where was I?" he tapped a finger against his chin, then nodded. "Oh, yes, after my parents died."
"What happened to them?" Kagome asked, noting the sadness in his gaze when he spoke of their death. "You make it sound as though they died at the same time."
"They may as well have," he said, "it was so close together. My father had gone out to war with the dragons. They had encroached on our lands and were taking people from them, human and demon alike to use as prey in elaborate 'hunts' they would set up as sport for their nobles. It was disgusting. Mother stayed behind to assist me in taking over in father's absence – it was the first time I'd been in charge, and she advised me. I won't go into the whole thing, for it's a long story, but their Lord had a dark sorcerer in his service and had him craft a spell that he used to drain other youkai of their strength. My father, however, was too strong to be affected by the spell – so he drained almost his entire court and most of his family instead, and with the youki of nearly a hundred youkai overpowered my father and killed him, though my father managed to take the bastard with him."
He paused, his jaw tightening as he thought back to an obviously difficult and painful time for him, then continued after gaining control once again over his memories.
"Our army never even had the chance to make it back to tell us the news – my mother let out a heartbroken scream of denial-" his eyes closed as he said that, "-then simply fell over. By the time I reached her side she was almost gone. She told me that my father was dead and that she loved me; that was the last thing she ever said to me or anyone else. I lost both parents in one day. With father, he was at war – we knew death was always a possibility. But mother? I was... blindsided. At any rate, Satori... she acted as though none of it mattered, and where before their deaths she had held back once they were dead and I was Lord she quickly agreed to a mating. But her ice left me just as cold, and by that time I was no longer interested. Still, I knew she would give me a powerful heir, and so I offered her a breeding contract, instead. She was angry at first, but when she saw the palace I offered her in exchange she agreed."
"Why was she like that, I wonder?" Kagome said to herself softly, not really expecting an answer, though she got one.
Mattaki sighed. "Her parents were that way. It was how she'd been raised. I learned in later years, as I had much contact with her as we raised our son, that she did have feelings – she'd been trained by violence to never show them, however. And after a time it just became natural for her to eschew any open showing of emotions."
"How sad," Kagome breathed as she thought of her own upbringing. She shuddered – she could not imagine her own mother acting that way. She was suddenly very grateful for the mother she'd had.
"Yes... I learned to care for her to an extent over the years. It wasn't until after I'd met Izayoi and developed feelings for her that I found out from my son that Satori loved me. I'd never known, and while I felt badly for hurting her, there was little I could do about it."
Kagome just shook her head, her imagination caught by such a tragic tale. She could empathize with Satori – she knew what it was like to love someone who loved another quite intimately, after all.
"What of your own family, Kagome, if I may ask? You don't have to answer if the grief of their loss is too much for you at this time," he said, not wanting to upset her after she'd come so far out of her shell in the last few days.
She smiled sadly and shook her head. "It's okay. It helps to talk about them, funny enough." She sighed as her own gaze went far away this time. "My mother... she's the strongest woman I know. She's so small, not much bigger than me, and yet it almost seems as if she's ten feet tall or something. She doesn't let anyone push her around," she chuckled. "I think that's where I got my temper, though mama's nicer than I am – most of the time."
"Do you look like her?" he asked.
"No, not really. I guess I look like my father. Mama's face is more oval shaped, while mine's what they call heart-shaped. She has high cheekbones and the most amazing eyes. The outer rim is this dark golden brown that fades until the inner ring becomes an amber color that's not far from your golden eyes. There's so many different shades in her eyes it would take forever to count them all, I swear," she laughed lightly. "She wears her hair short – says it takes less time to fix for a busy mother."
"That was something I wondered – blue eyes are not common among humans here – where did you get yours?"
"We're not exactly sure, but mama thought it was from her grandmother's mother – she married a man from England in Europe. From what I was told he didn't have blue eyes, but his mother did and I just got lucky, I guess, inheriting a recessive gene."
"Ah," he said, though not quite understanding her last words, he gathered the gist of what she'd said well enough. "What of your father?"
Her eyes saddened even more, though he could tell that this was a distant sadness – a sadness that had already softened with time. "I don't remember daddy too much. He died when I was almost eight. My mother was so young... and pregnant with my younger brother Souta at the time." She picked a blade of grass and twirled it, her eyes locked on the motion. "I don't really know how she did it, taking care of everything like she did, though she did have help, I guess. My jii-chan – my father's father helped her all he could. No... they helped each other. You see, we're a shrine family from my father's side. It was a good thing that we lived on the shrine already when he passed away. But I could tell how desperately mama missed papa - she really loved him. Even when I was older and traveling with Inuyasha, sometimes when I would stay the night at home I would hear her crying once she thought everyone was asleep and wouldn't hear her. She still missed him, even those years later. I think she always will."
Mattaki nodded, not really needing to say anything.
"So you grew up on a shrine with your mother, grandfather, and a younger brother?" he asked, and she nodded.
"Hai. Jii-chan... oh, he's old and a little crazy at times. He would be seventy-nine this year," she said, a little amused at his surprise at her grandfather's age. "He still runs the shrine, and is absolutely nuts about what he calls his sacred relics and artifacts."
Mattaki was definitely surprised. "Humans live that long in your era, and are still able to make themselves useful?"
"Yes. Our healers are very advanced, and most of what kills here is minor in my time. For instance... the coughing sickness that makes it difficult to breathe and that comes in the fall and winter here and kills so many every year? In my time it's called the flu, or influenza, and though a few people still die from it, mostly young infants or older people with compromised immune systems, most who get ill from it are still expected to get up and go to work. I've had it several times when I was younger, and still continued with my studies and went to school."
He was amazed. He knew of this illness though it wasn't something youkai got, he'd learned of it through Izayoi, who'd gotten it the year before she'd gotten pregnant with Inuyasha. For a time he'd thought he was going to lose her. And Kagome's people had made it mostly an illness that was little more than annoying?
He set that aside for a different time – for he certainly had questions about her era.
"And what of your brother – Souta?"
"Souta's a good kid. A typical younger brother – annoying sometimes and liked to snoop into my business, but I love him. As annoying siblings go, he wasn't too bad," she chuckled. "I miss him."
Putting his waterskin back in his pack Mattaki stood and stretched, then offered a hand to Kagome and pulled her to her feet. He was no longer surprised by the jolt, the heat of attraction he felt whenever he touched her, but he could tell that she was. It was probably the first time she'd been aware of anything besides her broken heart since he'd met her. He watched from under his bangs surreptitiously as she stared at her hand with wide eyes, a startled flush on her cheeks.
Pretending not to see her confusion he began making his way back to the path – it was too little traveled to be called a road - and continued along it, drawing slowly ever nearer their destination... Mt. Hakurei. He hoped that after this she would be amenable to returning to his estate for a while. For some reason, he wished to be a homebody for a time.
He didn't know it, for he was unaware of the route the group of shard hunters had taken when heading for Hakurei, but to Kagome's heartfelt relief he'd chosen a different way than she'd taken with Inuyasha. The memories of the time at Hakurei and the run-ins with the Shichinentai brought back memories of her near-death experience... and the aftermath of the fall of Mt. Hakurei that brought Inuyasha's abandonment of her when he went off chasing rumors of Kikyou's supposed death.
Some of her most painful memories of her time here were her memories of Akago and the feel of his tainted being searching her soul for the source of the little bit of darkness she'd carried. She still shivered thinking about it, and again it brought a surge of anger to the surface for Inuyasha... it seemed that all her bad times since coming here could be traced to him.
She found that fact almost heartbreakingly ironic, since once, when he'd been feeling badly about hurting her he'd told her that all of his good memories came because of her. Unfortunately she couldn't say the same. All her memories of him caused her pain in one way or another.
With a grimace that Mattaki was all too aware of she pushed those memories aside and focused on the peaceful scenery. It seemed that this path was even less traveled than she'd thought by the small path – walking here, she could almost believe that she and Mattaki were the only beings in existence. That thought wasn't objectionable at all, surprisingly enough.
It seemed that she'd changed a great deal more than she'd thought, and that perhaps she'd even have to relearn who she was, because she was very different than she'd ever been before.
No longer the high-spirited, innocent and immature teenager, she was cooler, more introverted and taken with quiet thought than she'd ever been before. Her temper was calmer and took longer to ignite, which was definitely a good thing, she thought dryly. I guess they were right when they said a calmer nature comes with maturity. They, being her mother and grandfather. If they could see me now, they'd be boasting about it, too. She chuckled a little to herself. Well, at least jii-chan would. Mama would just take it in stride as she did everything else.
She missed her mother every day, though some days were harder than others. Particularly when a bad day came... she missed the comfort and wise words her mother gave her with equal facility, usually being able to calm her rather more flighty daughter right down. She looked back at herself over the years of the quest, and sighed. She really had been flighty and high-spirited. While being high-spirited wasn't necessarily a bad thing, in the excessive amounts she'd had it in it certainly was, and she could finally look back and see that a great deal of Inuyasha's histrionics had been charged by her own.
We fed off each other, I suppose. And maybe that's why she was so calm now – because she'd used up all her overly large amounts of energy keeping up with Inuyasha. Now... she didn't need to.
She looked around, judging where they were and finding herself surprised to see them coming up on a place she remembered well – the place where Kouga had fought some of the shichinentai and lost in a big way. This was where a reluctant Inuyasha had taken the wolf prince over his shoulders and carried him to a cave so she could look him over and make sure he would be okay.
That memory brought a chuckle to her as she remembered Inuyasha's very colorful language at having 'wolf stink' on his clothes.
Coming to a stop, she put out a hand and placed it atop Mattaki's.
"Is something wrong, Kagome?" he asked immediately, scanning their surroundings carefully.
Shaking her head, she said, "No, but we should stop for the night. We'll be in close to the areas I want to check by late afternoon, but I want plenty of daylight when I go into that place. It wouldn't be a good thing to be caught out in darkness in this area," she said, her words indicating what the inuyoukai could already sense – the mountain had indeed become the home for dark things that had no use or liking for the light.
"Aye... I can feel that you're right. Very well, we'll make camp ahead in that copse of trees, then – they will give us some shelter from the winds that I can feel will soon be upon us," he replied as he scented the entire area.
Kagome looked up at his words and met the rather ominous sight of dark gray clouds coming in towards them with dismayed eyes – she really didn't want to have to shelter within the mountain due to bad weather.
Mattaki seemed to catch on to her worried thoughts. "Do not concern yourself with thoughts of fear of what is hidden in the mountain. If we must shelter there, you will be in no more danger than you are now, little miko. I promise you this."
Grimly, she shook her head. "While I thank you for your words, even you cannot save me from the memories of this place and the nightmares that will come," she sighed, then looked away; dropping her bag, she sat down and began rubbing her legs absently as she sorted through her thoughts.
Knowing all too well that she was right and that he couldn't defend her from the demons in her own mind, he settled next to her and considered the sky. It would not rain that night, but it would by the next afternoon and it was very possible they would have to shelter somewhere on or in that mountain. He chose not to say so, however – let her sleep comfortably for at least this night. Tomorrow was soon enough to worry about storms and nightmares.
The next day dawned dark and with gusty winds, and even Kagome could tell that they would be hit by noon with severe storms that would leave them sheltering inside the mountain.
With a few muttered curses as she stared at Mt. Hakurei, which almost seemed to swim in an evil aura, she cast frantically around inside her mind for a safer place to ride out the day's storms. It only took a few moments for the cave she'd hidden in with Kouga to come to mind – the one where Inuyasha had faced off with Renkotsu. So yeah it had memories associated with it that she would rather not wake, but it was a hell of a lot better than actually having to hide inside Hakurei itself.
Kagome quickly told Mattaki about the cave that they were not really too far from and within a half hour the duo was on their way, both glad to have a place to ride out the bad weather that wouldn't leave them fighting off other, dark things to remain safe inside. She wondered idly as they headed for the cave just what he was capable of in battle. After all, she'd never seen him really fight, but if that mock sword fight he'd had with his new blade back at Totosai's was any indication then she couldn't wait to see him in a decent fight. Sure, he'd killed some youkai off on the trip, but he hadn't really had to fight to do that – they were weak beings that he'd simply killed with his whip.
His whip unlike Sesshoumaru's wasn't poison. No, his was basically lightening. His whip was made of electricity. And it gave her all sorts of ideas that she would have to talk to him about – later. But watching beings basically getting electrocuted to death was quite... interesting. After all, in her time in the Sengoku Jidai she'd seen a lot of ways to die. But she hadn't seen that one outside of someone getting hit by a stray lightening strike. Mattaki's whip seemed to be a concentrated electrical jolt of unimaginable power that fried his opponent so fast they probably didn't even know they were dead until they woke up in hell.
So Sesshoumaru was poison, and his father was power. That made sense, since it seemed the poison capabilities came from his mother – and his travel by light orb from his sire's electrical abilities. He was truly a composite of his parents.
She was pulled from her thoughts by a streak of lightening – speak of the devil – bursting across the dark sky almost like an announcement, and then the waterworks began and Kagome found herself drenched and having to be very careful not to fall from the rather narrow path they were following – because the bottom of that fall would be in a very wildly rushing river that looked to have dangerous currents. She remembered that river as the one Inuyasha had pulled himself from after the explosion caused by Renkotsu had knocked them into it..
Visibility was really poor by that time and Kagome almost missed the entrance to the cave due to the storm – and the fact that long ago explosion had knocked some stones loose upslope, and they had rolled down to partially block the now much smaller entrance.
By the time the two had climbed inside at Mattaki's reassurance that the rocky slope was stable both were drenched, and alone together in a cave where they would have to change.
Suddenly Kagome wasn't so cold – maybe she'd feel cooler if she kept the wet things on in a cave that was quite suddenly very warm? But Mattaki wasn't having any of that – her modesty would not be the reason she fell ill if he had anything to say about it. And he did.
Quickly getting a fire going with wood that was only marginally damp hissing and spitting in the flames, Mattaki surprised Kagome completely as it caught well.
"How did... I mean, where did... ano..." she pointed at the fire finally and Mattaki chuckled, knowing what she was asking.
"I began grabbing wood as soon as I realized we would need it. It was not hard to keep most of it from getting wet, and you did not look behind to see what I was doing."
She blinked. "Oh."
"Now, get something dry from your pack and change. The temperature in here will drop later, and I was only able to gather so much wood," he gestured over his shoulder to a pile of wood. To Kagome's eyes it looked like enough to last through at least most of the night, especially as it was rather damp meaning it would burn slower. But a daiyoukai isn't someone to argue with and Kagome sighed and moved towards the fire, deciding that if she was going to be naked, even if it was for a short time, then she was going to be naked by the fire.
She gave Mattaki a fierce look and motioned for him to turn around, and with a chuckle he did so, though he wasn't too honorable to sneak a quick peek. Yes, she was just as delectable as he'd seen at his shiro that other evening, and he sighed inwardly – he was certain that he was in for a long haul before he could sate his desires.
But at least she was beginning to wake up to him, if her reaction to touching him recently was any indication. She was beginning to feel the burn of attraction a lot more strongly than she had to begin with, and that was a good indicator that she was starting to come out of her cloud of depression and grief.
"Okay, I'm done," she said, and glanced at him as he turned. "Why don't you get out of that armor and stuff? It looks terribly uncomfortable on a good day, let alone when it's wet and probably rubbing you the wrong way."
He glanced at her, then nodded, and without a by your leave began stripping. He was curious to see what she would do. At first she didn't react, thinking he was only going to strip off his armor – but when his clothing began to come off too, she flushed a deep red and squeaked, eyes wide, before turning abruptly to stare at the cavern wall.
She reddened even more at the baritone chuckle her actions occasioned from the damp daiyoukai. But her embarrassment didn't stop her from taking a quick peek, and she almost choked at what was on display behind her.
"You may as well turn around, Kagome. I am not putting anything back on until it is dried. And it is not as if my hakama have come off, ne?" he asked teasingly, sincerely wanting to laugh at the sound of another squeak as she slowly turned. It was a rather cute noise, he decided, and he'd like to hear it again. Many more times, as a matter of fact.
He was sure he would, sooner or later. Though... sooner would be appreciated, he thought dryly.
"Come now," he teased at her refusal to look below his chin, "I am sure you have seen the upper bodies of males before, little miko. Why is mine so different?" he asked, wondering if she would dare to answer that question.
"W-well, it was usually o-only when I was treating injuries and things... and none of them looked like you," she blurted indignantly, and he was certain unintentionally as she immediately looked away and turned even redder.
He was totally charmed.
"Kagome," he began gently, "we are going to be together forever. That's a long, long time, you know. I am sure we will each see a great deal more of each other before the kami decide that forever is over. There is no need to be embarrassed."
She still refused to look at him, taking a seat on top of her sleeping bag near the fire. "That's easy for you to say," she finally said, her voice very low. "You've been married and I'm sure been with a lot of women, so you're used to seeing them naked. But I'm human, and my body's not as perfect as I'm sure you are used to - and I'm not used to seeing naked males, either human or youkai." Especially not ones that look like you, she thought nervously to herself. Well... I did see Miroku and Inuyasha that time, but it was an accident, and I screamed and ran off. I don't really think that's an option here, and besides, running is the last thing I want to do. Staring, more like. And that's horrible. He's Inuyasha's father! I can't want him! It won't do. Eventually he'll find someone to love, so I should just push any of those kinds of thoughts to the back of my mind and off a convenient cliff.
That last thought, as depressing as it was brought up a subject that she'd not really thought of too much, as stuck in her depression as she'd been. And now she felt like a horrid person for not asking before this...
"What do you want to do now that you're alive again?" she asked quietly, still not really looking at him as she stared mesmerized into the small fire.
"Do?" he asked, bemused at the sudden change of subject. "What do you mean?"
"Well, I mean what do you want to do with your life now that you've got it back?"
And Mattaki suddenly found himself without anything to say, because so far he'd not thought of anything but letting her have time to grieve and then be ready to move on... to him.
But he couldn't tell her that yet – because he didn't think she was quite ready to hear it, and he knew he wasn't quite ready to say it.
~oOo~
A/N: For Charlotte, not signed in- in last week's review for this story, you left me a question, along with what I guess was supposed to be a link to some other account? At any rate, FF does not add links to any website other than itself. So in other words, whatever link you tried to leave simply didn't show up – it was a blank space. In order to trick FF into passing along your link, you basically have to put in a bunch of spaces and mess the link up so much that half the time, the person can't even tell what the link was originally.
So, I am going to answer your question here. Ever the Lotus does not have an updating schedule. I put in the notes of that story that it would be a very slow moving one, and I haven't even attempted to start the next chapter. I probably won't for some time, since it isn't really working with me right now and hasn't been for a long while. The last chapter took months to get out. I refuse to force it, therefore that is why I said that it would be a slow moving story.
As for review responses for this story: There's no way I can even think of answering reviews for this story. I have never had a story that has had the mind-blowing debut that this one had. It EASILY reached over a hundred reviews with just two chapters. Between this one and Splinter'd Realities, the reviews reach well over a hundred reviews a week for each chapter, and that doesn't include any of my other stories that get reviews. So... questions? I'll answer them. Otherwise, I read the review, smile, get happy and go write some more to keep my readers happy, and put all my reviews in my mail folder titled Reviews - yes, I save them ALL. Right now, that folder has 4,420 reviews saved in it from all my stories, from here on FF and Dokuga, MM, and Ao3. So as I said, I definitely read your reviews, I love you guys and your reviews as much as I hope you love the stories I tell.
Amber
