Chapter 3- Babe

I woke up from my nap to the phone ringing and saw his number "Yo" I answered with a smile.

"Babe" he said with a different tone. "We need to talk"

"I am hearing that a lot lately" I told him

"7pm tonight?" he asked

"Sounds good" was my quick answer

"Rangeman" he said and then he disconnected.

Oh boy, now what? I Wondered if this would be a date request for an undercover job or some new searches he wanted me to do part time for Rangeman. I looked down at my watch, it was 5pm so I decided to take a shower and freshen up. I dialed my mom and let her know I would have to skip dinner tonight. I took a long shower trying to relax and avoid thinking about my conversation with Morelli. I couldn't imagine my life without either man in it. I dried off and pulled on a black pencil skirt and a red sleeveless silky shirt that tied at the neck and showed a little bit of cleavage thanks to my push-up bra. I worked on my hair and make-up trying to make myself look sexy, I finished off the look with a pair of FMPs. I figured this would probably be another distraction job.

I arrived at Rangeman a few minutes early and sat in the parking garage trying to figure out what this was all about. Trying to figure out what might happen tonight. How deep was my love for him and did it matter when I knew there would be no future for us. I looked into my rear view mirror and stared at my own reflection, Could I ever really let him go completely from my life? Was it my fear of commitment to marriage after Dickie or was it really Ranger keeping me from making the final step towards a future with Joe? Or the worst case scenario, was I settling for Morelli because there was no future with Ranger? I kept sitting there nervous about seeing him and wondering if I should have just worn jeans and a t-shirt because maybe this was him telling me there wouldn't be any more cars or he didn't need me for anymore jobs. Finally the suspense was killing me.

I jumped out of the car and walked slowly to the door and waved at the camera as I let myself in and headed for the elevator. I pushed the button for the Fifth floor assuming he wanted to meet in his office. I walked past the control room and got some looks with raised eyebrows from the merry men. When I peeked into Ranger's office it was empty. Tank poked his head out of his office. "He's waiting for you upstairs." he explained.

"Thank you." I told him before he went back into his office to focus on whatever he was working on.

I made my way back to the elevator. Don't panic Steph, maybe he is just wants to talk about a private job and wants to meet you upstairs so others can't hear our conversation. I exhaled deeply as I used my key fob for the seventh floor. Here we go, I thought. I took some deep breaths and by the time the door opened I had calmed myself down and entered his apartment in a relaxed mood ready to see what job he had for me.

When I walked in he was sitting on the couch. He had nothing in his hands and was just staring straight ahead. He extended his finger waving me to him and I walked over to the couch as his eyes scanned me from top to bottom. I felt a hot flash race through me. He patted the seat next to him, but when I sat down he immediately jumped up and went to the kitchen. He picked up an already opened wine bottle and finished it off filling his glass before opening a new one to fill a glass for me I watched him move around silently. I was a bit confused. He sat down in a chair across from me and pushed out his glass towards me in a toast before taking a drink. I did the same and took a big gulp of the wine.

"What's up?" I asked trying to sound casual. I crossed my legs and looked down trying to avoid his eyes.

"I realize I haven't always made myself quite clear about how I feel for you. You once asked me why I give you cars and I told you it was fun but I also told you I loved you." He began speaking directly and calmly, but I could smell the wine in the air. I didn't think he was entirely sober.

"And you also said we were both very screwed up." I reminded him looking up to meet his eyes.

"You have really become a badass since I have known you." He said as the corners of his mouth slightly raised into a small smile. "Hawaii...what did you think about Hawaii?" he asked.

Again with Hawaii "We had fun before there was that fight." I told him

"Fun? We spent four days together living as a married couple." he reminded me "The spa? It was nice" he confessed

"Yes it was." I answered honestly

"I don't think I have ever spent that much time with a woman before." He shook his head. "I don't think I could with anyone else." He flashed his 200 watt smile.

"We didn't really fight at all, it was weird for me. I am used to being yelled at when anyone spends that amount of time with me. With us it should have been worse because we were together twenty-four hours a day." I smiled

"Never left each others side." he spoke looking somewhere over my head. I almost wanted to turn around and see if he was looking something and then he smiled. I wondered if he was thinking back.

"So the wine is good."I took another drink.

"I can't get the pictures out of my mind all of the times I nearly lost you. The time I jumped into a grave to pull you out. I think back to the time Constantine put you in that box. The six hours I spent looking for you was pure hell. " he said looking softer

I shivered "I remember that well, you told me you thought I was dead." I said looking down

"Because I did and because it was ripping my heart out. I think that is when I truly began to understand my feelings for you were more than lust and friendship." He took another drink of wine. "The time when Shorty and Mo tossed you over a bridge..." he said said with a deep sigh.

"You jumped in the water and saved me." I finished for him. "My hero"

"I don't want to be your hero, I don't want you to count on me to save you." He shook his head.

"I never meant to be a burden." I looked down.

"A burden? Far from it. I came to you that night trying to explain how it haunted me but I couldn't or didn't want to get the words out. I am not so great at expressing myself because I have had to be guarded for so long." He explained as he took another drink finishing off his glass

"But you also told me you worried about not being there to save me one day. I took that to understand you were backing away from me so you wouldn't have to worry about that." I took a big gulp of wine from the glass. "It's just who you are." I assured him. "You are a great friend and sometime boss. I understand." I forced a smile. This is it, this is where he tells me he is sick of me and always having to bail me out.

"Even if I moved across the country I would still worry about you. Still worry I might not get to you in time." and then he paused " A great friend?" He asked looking at me like he was trying to read me. "Do you remember when Vlatko went after you? or Orin?"

"How could I forget?" I said quietly as memories rushed back into my mind and I took another drink finishing the glass.

"They went after you to get to me. They could easily see after only watching me for a short time that you were my one weakness. You were the only way they could truly get to me. They could see that I loved you." he said as he filled another glass. "Liquid courage." he smiled raising his glass towards me. "I have spent most of my life staying detached, keeping my emotions hidden. In my line of work I couldn't afford to show any weakness, and that carried over into my every day life. Then I learned to keep people I care about at a distance to protect them."

"uh." I was speechless. I sat frozen and unable to speak. We had spoken about our feelings, always very playfully. Ranger wasn't playing around now. He had no smile, no laughter, he had meaning behind his words. "I don't know what to say. I am used to seeing you in such control, this just..."

"I was trying to keep you at arm's length to protect you, but obviously I couldn't hide my feelings. Apparently everyone else could see my attachment to you except for you and I. I didn't think I deserved you after all that I have done in my life. I realize now that keeping you away won't protect you." he stood and crossed over to me going down on his knees. He took the glass from my hands and placed it on the coffee table before taking my hands in his. "I need to show you something."

He held my hands in his and rose with me as I stood. He led me to his bedroom and my entire body got stiff. "You want me bad." He said with a smile as he squeezed my hand. "I can't avoid this anymore and I don't know how it will end or if I can be good at this but I want to try." He opened the doors to his closet and gestured for me to walk in.

When I stepped in I immediately noticed one side was completely empty, and I looked back at him to see his smile. I walked further into the closet and there were drawers pulled out that once held his clothes and they were now empty. There were some shelves that were empty except some carefully folded items. I looked closer and realized they were all Rangmen clothes for me. I looked back to him and walked over to stand face to face. I was speechless so I gave him a hug.

He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. I could feel his breath in my ear when he spoke it was a soft warm whisper "I want to have a relationship with you. I am tired of saving you only so you can run into the arms of someone else. I am tired of you turning away from me and going back to a safe relationship because you think I can't give you that."

"Wow" I let slip from my mouth quickly. I had never heard Ranger speak so much and I was a bit in shock. He still held me in his arms and I felt fire go through my body. I pulled back slightly and looked into his soft but serious eyes.

"Do you have any idea how it feels for me to keep trying to protect you and worry about you when you only share my bed when it's convenient or when you are convinced you have had the eye put on you?" he spoke quickly "I need to know what this is. Working relationship? Friendship? Lust? What exactly is going on between us?" He asked in a demanding tone.

"I have never allowed myself to tell you how I feel because I don't believe there is a future, you're not the marrying kind you have told me that over and over." I explained "I am not the best at admitting I love you. I know I am more guarded after Dickie"

"Every time I slip up and find myself talking about loving you or marrying you I kick myself. You have no idea how this conversation has worried me." He said as he pulled away from me. He was pacing but not quickly. He still moved like a jungle cat. "I confided in you once how I worried about everything but mostly about you."

I went into the kitchen to get more wine. He followed me quickly refiling his own glass. "I don't really know how to respond to this bombshell you have dropped at my feet. You do know I am engaged to Morelli?"

"Engaged to be engaged and what the hell does that mean anyway? I told you before the off and on thing is not healthy for a relationship." He grabbed me by the shoulders. "He wants you to be a housewife. He doesn't respect your job. He wants to change you."

"No he just wants to keep me away from situations where I am in danger." I explained

"I am done being the honorable guy and sending you back to his arms because I think he will make you happier than I can. I no longer think that way. I know I am better for you and I can make you happy. I am officially throwing my hat in the ring. I am officially risking my heart and offering you a solid relationship with me." He breathed out a deep sigh "I don't know if I will be any good at this because I have never really tried. I know a relationship with me may put you in danger, but it seems no matter what I do I can't keep danger out of your life"

"You were married once." I reminded him as I felt the heat rush through my body from the touch of his hands on my shoulders. I stepped back and gulped more wine.

"Yes I married Rachel because it was the right thing to do, not because I loved her." He explained bending down to look into my eyes. "I want you to stop avoiding your feelings for me and consider the fact that we could have a future together. I also want you to remember I don't share. If you want me, it has to be only me. Just add me to your possibilities and stop leaving me out because you are worried we can't have a future."

"I hear what you're saying. I just didn't expect to hear this from you. I thought I was coming up here to be told about a job." I started as I took another drink. "Look how I am dressed."

"You look hot. It's hard for me to keep my hands off of your body. I would love nothing more than to carry you off to my bed. I don't want to be a one night stand for you anymore. I want you in my bed every night. " he flashed his full smile at me and then looked away.

"I just don't know what to say. Maybe ask you to take some aspirin before you go to bed so your head won't hurt in the morning. Maybe tell you to write some of this down so you won't forget it in the morning." I offered as I set down my glass and stepped away.

"It's worth the headache to be able to say all that needed to be said. I won't forget a word because it's all been in my head for a long time." He assure me as he stepped forward and pulled me in tightly. He kissed my forehead. " I won't need to drink so much to speak my mind next time, you made it easy."

"I have to go, I have to think about this. I need to get my head together. It's not fair, you have had plenty of time to organize what you were going to say. I need time." I explained as I turned from him and went towards the door before turning back. "Thank you for telling me how you feel. Don't worry about me I will have Cal or Tank drive me home." I said feeling a bit tipsy. Before I let the wine go to my head I turned back and walked out the door.

"Babe..." I heard him call out before I pushed the button for the elevator.