Author's note: This chapter is a long way from fluff. I think it furthers my plotline and isn't unrealistic - my intention isn't to deliberately upset. Thanks for the comments, follows and favourites
Jane sat in the briefing Dean was giving to the new larger taskforce looking for a possible perp. Really they had almost nothing beyond what he had outlined to her in Boston. She met the team. Dean she knew. Rodriquez who had been out to brief the other identified states with likely targets was a middle-aged female agent with a similar amount of experience to Dean. She appeared highly professional. She wasn't unfriendly, but she didn't seem especially warm on first acquaintance. The two analysts assigned to the case appeared to know Dean well and had a good rapport with him – Andrea Anderson was the oldest active FBI staffer Jane had met, clearly in her sixties – and Jane wondered if there was mandatory retirement on the horizon. She certainly was experienced and alert and Jane could see from the way they interacted that Dean wouldn't be keen to lose her if it was. At the other extreme, Marcia Grey had been with the FBI only for the last eight months, but Dean was clear she was someone he wanted on the team for her grasp of modern technology. Andrew Cleavers was a homicide detective from Madison, Wisconsin who had lead the Mary Sanson case. He had agreed to secondment with the team, and was clearly keen to get a result and described his frustration that he had nothing to offer the Sanson family by way of explanation for her death. Finally, one of the FBIs resident medical examiners, Laura Anderson was available as the team needed to answer questions and review information.
Jane and Cleavers were to spend the day reviewing the homicide case files from the three investigations together. Overall Jane agreed with Dean – the cases had clearly been given top staff, as would be expected when someone prominent and well respected by the team was the victim, and every lead had been run down in an organised and thorough fashion. Certainly this wasn't going to be a case where they found some obvious holes in the original work up of the cases and came in with a quick solution.
Jane and Cleavers sat tossing ideas between them. The lack of trace evidence at the crime scenes was in its self, highly notable. It was as if someone highly professional was involved. Which lead them to speculate on whether it might be professional hits, or whether it might be someone with a very good knowledge of forensic science. The second two cases had occurred at the MEs home, and in neither case was there evidence of forced entry. And limited signs of a scuffle. Time of death in both cases was late evening and the ME had not yet changed for bed. They mused on whether the ME had let someone in; whether there was an individual that two MEs in different states would know – or a category of person – like delivery person or salesperson or that would have the door opened to them.
At the end of the day reading files the team sat and discussed possibilities. They confirmed that the employee records of all three jurisdictions had been compared and there were no overlaps. There was no evidence of any phone calls too or from the victims in the hours prior to their death which appeared against the take out delivery idea.
….
Maura was trying to go about business as usual in Boston. A couple of times she thought she heard the familiar clomp of boots, but realised it was not Jane. And wouldn't be Jane. Korsak kindly came down and invited her to lunch with him and Frost, which she appreciated but chose to work through at her desk to catch up on some paperwork.
When she got home she found Bass and Joe Friday looking very settled together, which made her smile. They got on surprisingly well. Just as she put her bag down, Angela bustled in and encouraged her to come out dog walking with her.
"have you heard from Jane?" Angela asked.
Maura sighed "yes thank you Angela, a couple of texts"
"it's not the same is it dear?"
"No"
"I miss her too. Headstrong and difficult as she is. You know you mean the world to her. She thinks she is doing the right thing by you by doing this. But knowing my Janey, she'll be hating it. Much as she pretends she hates everyone meddling in her life, she will be missing us terribly. But if she were here, she'd be driving us nuts about the fact she wasn't doing anything. Can't win."
Maura smiled wanly "I guess it is hard for anyone to win if there is a serial killer."
Angela looked up "we'd best get this dog out. A brisk walk is probably what we both need. Enjoy a bit of fresh air"
….
Jane called each night. They chatted about Jane's new team, Maura's team, what Maura had heard of Korsak and Frost, updates on Bass and Joe Friday. It got in to a pattern to lie in bed each night debriefing the day. Jane looked forward to the call all day
"I miss you terribly you know?" she commented to Maura
"I miss you too Jane"
"I wish I could put my arms around you so much some times." Then frantically added "you know, so you felt safe and all"
"mmhmm. I do feel safe with you Jane"
Maybe relaxed by lying in bed being tired, maybe her brain was emboldened by not being physically there, Jane heard herself saying "You know, being with you is the best relationship I've ever had". Then spluttered "not that I have, ah, been with you. Not that…"
"I know what you meant Jane, I love you too"
Jane lay in bed, furiously blushing about making comments about "being with Maura", worried Maura might read Jane's mind, and see where it went some times as she sought relaxation before sleep. She suddenly realised she'd not replied to Maura. "ah, gosh, I ah, I love you too" she spluttered out.
"I know Jane, I can see that"
Jane so nearly asked Maura what she saw, wondering if Maura was trying to move the conversation towards more, but then chickened out. Most of the time she thought her fantasies about Maura were just that, fantasies. Just occasionally when Maura looked at her, she wondered if she saw some longing, some desire. But then reminded herself it was probably her hopeful imagination. She quickly pulled out of the conversation. "So I uh, have to go. Early start tomorrow. Night Maura"
…
The days turned to weeks. Jane felt like they had gone over and over every possible lead, every possible link. They had brainstormed, spoken to a profiler, watched random hours of surveillance tapes from the entrance to each mortuary, spoken to family. They had nothing on this guy. Presuming it was a guy. There had been no alerts, no concerns about any further MEs. Jane started to wonder if she was in the right place – what was she really achieving here? She wasn't any closer to making Maura safe, she missed her family, she missed Joe Friday, she missed Korsak and Frost, and most of all she missed Maura. She knew Dean must be under pressure to move the investigation along or have it closed down, and she wasn't sure if asking to end her secondment would cause problems for him, or help by reducing the team size. Personally she was convinced he was right – she was convinced that a highly organised, slow and methodical killer was behind these deaths. But she was damned if she could see how they could catch him unless he made a mistake. And they hadn't found a single mistake in the three deaths to date, so to make a mistake, they really needed him to act again. Which was a very unsettling thought.
….
Dean dropped by Jane's desk.
"C'mon Rizzoli. Call it a night. We've been at it for weeks. You're tired, we're all tired. Take an evening off?"
"Take an evening off and do what?"
"What do you normally do Jane? Watch some ESPN – there must be a game on somewhere in the world. Have a drink with me? Go pick someone up in a bar? Go for a run? Anything, but you can't keep spending 16 hours a day at FBI headquarters."
"Gosh I dunno Dean, I just keep thinking that there must be some kind of answer here somewhere"
"yep and if there is, it will be there tomorrow. You need a break. Look come get a beer and a pizza at the sports bar down the road with me, at least as a decent dinner break"
Jane finally stood up, rolled her shoulders to loosen her joints and agreed to come out with him. One beer quickly became three. Then he suggested some whisky shots. It had been a hard few weeks. It seemed a reasonable idea. A few hours later she found herself staggering up the steps to his apartment after they had been asked to leave when the bar was closing up. She wobbled slightly on the steps and he grabbed her "easy there tiger, let's get you in and on to the couch eh before you take a fall"
They got to the landing and he struggled with his keys. The whisky had clearly had an effect on him too.
"Coffee Jane?"
"Maura tells me I need to drink more water after drinking alcohol. Rehydrate or something. She says caffeine might sober me up a bit, but it also dehydrates me further making the next day worse"
"smart woman that Dr Isles. So water it is"
He went to hand the water to Jane but between the two of them being somewhat intoxicated, they fumbled the glass in the handover process and most of it went on to Jane's shirt.
"erck, best get this off" she remarked, undoing her button up and stripping down to bra and pants. She hadn't really thought about it until she looked up and saw Dean staring appreciatively at her
"Damn Jane, you're still such an attractive woman."
"You say that like you're surprised"
"Well I just mean, you get so used to working with you, Detective Rizzoli, that I forget that you're also a very attractive woman regardless of your professional role"
"so you think my professional role makes me unattractive?"
"Jane, I'm not trying to pick a fight here. You're a great detective. You also are exceptionally beautiful. Those things needs not be mutually exclusive. I was just offering a compliment"
"gee thanks Dean" Jane blushed slightly, "and, ah, any chance of borrowing a Tshirt?"
"of course, I should have thought" he remarked as he rushed off and returned with a clean white T a few moments later. He handed it over. She caught the warmth of his hand slightly as he handed it to her, and looked up to see him looking at her appraisingly. "you know Jane, I'm so sorry things worked out between us as they did"
"don't Dean" she shrugged. "It is what it is"
She was taken by surprise as he suddenly reached up and ran his hand down her face and leaned in to kiss her. She felt herself respond and kiss back, the whisky in his breath mixing with hers. Through the drunkenness her mind whirred. Maybe she should just seek oblivion in some kind of pleasure of the flesh. But her head spun, and she couldn't breathe as she felt him push his lower body towards her and put a hand in the small of her back to push her hips towards his trousers which were starting to strain. "oh Jane" he moaned "it has been too long"
"no Dean, no"
She tried to pull away.
"C'mon Jane, it's no time to play hard to get now".
She couldn't work out if they stumbled together or he pushed her, but she suddenly found pushed over the arm of the couch and found herself lying on her back on the couch with Dean atop her, placing wet kisses along her neck. She shivered as she felt his stubble against the soft skin of her neck and felt nauseated.
"NO DEAN" she yelled. "GET OFF"
"C'mon Jane, stop being a cock tease" and he wiggled his hips in to her, making the bulge unpleasantly present to her.
There was a sickening crunch and pain shot through her left hand and up her arm. His nose began to bleed profusely. "shit Jane" he said as he got up and stumbled back.
She grabbed his Tshirt and ran out the door, and down the steps. On leaving the front step of the building she vomited profusely in to a bush. She felt literally sick to her stomach – not just nauseated but physically revolted. She patted down her work trousers. Thank goodness she had her keys, wallet and cell on her. She managed to find her way towards a busier street and hail a cab back to her quarters. She finally got up the stairs, and collapsed under the blankets, shivering and crying. Then remembered Maura and went and found herself a glass, drank two of water immediately, took another full glass back to the bed and collapsed back under the covers, whimpering towards sleep as the room whirled around her.
….
Jane woke the next morning after eight. She was in bed wearing crumpled work trousers. Her head hurt. Her body ached, especially her left hand which had nasty bruising across the knuckles. It hurt to flex it. And slowly the night before came back to her. She got up and vomited again. She cleaned her teeth, hopped in a blistering hot shower and eventually got herself out and dressed. What now? She made a very strong instant coffee, popped a couple of advil she found in her case, and picked up her mobile. Gee, she'd missed a lot of texts in her stupor.
She saw Dean's name roll up, and the nausea returned, along with a headache trying to work out how she was going to face work. Her phone showed a rolling preview of his messages which she realised were a series of profuse apologies. Missed goodnight texts from Maura. That brightened her slightly, before the guilty thought it was the first night she'd missed contacting Maura before bed that she'd been there. And inevitably a "call me Janey" from her Mother.'
She looked around and began shoving her things in her bag. She walked over to FBI headquarters and up to their floor. Dean saw her coming and ran out to meet her. "Rizzoli. Can we talk please?" and tried to usher her to an office.
"no thanks Agent Dean. Out here is fine for anything you need to say". She noticed the significant bruising around his left eye. She'd really got a decent hit in then. He looked dishevelled and his face looked sore. "okay then. Detective Rizzoli I am sorry my behaviour fell short of that I would expect of myself. My unreserved apologies. I wonder what I need to do to sort this. In case you have wondered, the commanding officer has asked me about my black eye. I have told him I drank too much and was inappropriately behaved and you put me back in line. I did not mention the full circumstances to protect your privacy, but I will if you prefer"
Jane let some of the rigidity she hadn't fully realised she was holding in her shoulders out. Thank goodness he was a gentleman in this at least – she realised she hadn't managed to process all the scenarios, but a lesser man may have blamed her, may have even had her up for assault – or tried to destroy her career.
"Dean, I just want to go back to Boston. The best you can do by me is smooth the process and make sure no hard feelings or difficulties with superiors follow me"
"Jane, I am sorry it has come to this - and sorry that you feel you need to go, but if that is what you want, absolutely. I will let Cavanaugh know I have released you from secondment. I do hope though if you have anything new, any new ideas you remain in contact"
Jane handed him her ID card and turned on her heel. She saw him hold his hand out to shake but made as if she hadn't seen it. She need not go that far. She went out, and hailed a cab to the airport.
Having placed herself standby for any seat to Boston she sat at the coffee shop at the airport. Her headache had improved with her third coffee of the morning but she couldn't shake the feeling of nausea. She still couldn't decide if that reflected her hangover, or the situation. She felt herself start to shiver again, and made herself stand up and walk through the shops trying to find anything to distract herself. It was a long day waiting for a seat, poor weather the day before having meant there were a number of passengers to be rebooked from the previous day that had to be seated before any new standby passengers.
Finally she heard an announcement "would standby passenger Rizzoli please present to the Delta airlines desk now". Fifteen minutes later she was on board waiting for the plane to finish take-off formalities.
Landing at Logan, jane grabbed her bag, made for a taxi and gave Marua's address.
