Harrison: "Hello! Here is the third chapter! And thank you for the review:"
"Guest: I love it! :)"
Dallin: "A guest, huh? Probably too embarrassed to show his real name!
Harrison: "Dallin! I am the one writing the story! I can remove your existence from here!
Dallin: "Uh... great job! You actually are acknowledged in some way!
Dipper (3rd person):
Dipper was bored.
Really bored.
The bus drive from Piedmont was 8 hours long. Because Dipper wasn't allowed to bring his video game, he had to spend his day having Mabel trying to get him to play Bus Seat Treasure hunt. He brought a journal, but barely anything was written. Nothing exciting was happening.
Finally, the bus slowed. They have arrived at Gravity Falls.
As the bus pulled away, they could get a good look at their Grunkle's house. Dipper remembered dad saying something about how he ran a store there, and sure enough, in big red letters, "MYSTERY SHACK" was on the roof.
Suddenly, a small, smoky explosion happened in front of them. When the smoke cleared, Dipper could see an elderly man. It was Grunkle Stan.
Harrison (1st person):
Dipper and Mabel were probably how you'd picture them in real life, but they couldn't have been taller than 4' 9". Man, were they short.
After the bus pulled away, Stan threw a smoke bomb in front of the twins, posed dramatically, and proclaimed, "Welcome, kids!"
Just then, the "S" on the roof of the mystery shack fell off.
"Soos!" yelled Stan. "Tell Wendy to man the cash register! It happened again!"
"Got it!" Soos confirmed. I walked back into the shack. As Soos ran out the door with a tool box and a ladder (he kept one hidden because Grunkle Stan hated ladders), I could hear him mutter "Again..."
Mabel (3rd person):
Mabel was so excited. Finally, she can explore a new place. Her family almost never goes on vacations, and Mabel's school never gets any new students. She couldn't wait to meet some new people!
"This attic is amazing. Check out all my splinters!" she announced, once she finished hanging up her posters.
She then held up her hands to reveal several large splinters in each of them.
"Mabel, you should probably get some tweezers," Harrison advised.
Harrison was their cousin, on her mom's side. She has never met him, because his family lives in Oregon. Her mom decided to coordinate with his mother, and Harrison will be spending the summer here, too.
Dipper was inspecting the room. He backed into his bed, then noticed a goat on it. "And there's a goat on my bed." he said dryly.
"Hey, friend!" greeted Mabel as she walked over to Dipper's bed. Then the goat started gnawing on her arm. "Oh! Yes, you can keep chewing my sweater." She laughed. "What should I call you?..."
"How about Gompers?" Harrison suggested.
"Yes! Perfect!" She had already found a pal, and it was a goat! How hard can it be?
Dipper (3rd person):
The next day, after Dipper's first night at Gravity Falls, he decided to go in the woods to get away from his annoying uncle.
As Dipper sat by a tree with his journal, Mabel was playing next to him.
"Yay! Grass!" She said dreamily as she rolled down a grassy hill.
A woodpecker landed on Dipper's head and started pecking him.
Dipper was furious on the inside. It seemed like he would literally melt because of his boredom. He thought, At least I don't have to work at the shack for another day.
Suddenly, a voice yelled, "Boo!"
Dipper saw a green, scaly face next to him and screamed. "Ah!"
The "monster" was actually a mask Stan was wearing, as Dipper found out when Stan took it off.
"Ahahahaha!" Stan gloated. "Hahaha!" He then slapped his knee. "Oh-" Then Stan started choking and then coughing. "-Aw. It was worth it.
"So Dipper," Stan said, sounding like he was back on topic. "Today's a busy day at the sack- I mean... the Shack... and so I need you there. So let's go."
"What!? Come on!" Dipper complained. "It's my first day here!"
"And it's your first day on the job. Now move it."
Dipper groaned. If he couldn't be bored, then he had to work. Only 87 more days here.
Harrison (1st person):
Stan was leading a tour through the Mystery Shack. Dipper was sweeping the ground half-heartedly, and Mabel was observing the Mystery Shack's merchandise. I decided to go on Stan's tour.
"And folks, that just about concludes our tour! But there is one more exhibit I would like to show you!"
Just then, an antler of a statue of a jackalope broke off.
"Ladies and gentlemen," Stan continued. "Behold! The Sas-crotch!"
Stan gestured to a statue of a Sasquatch wearing a pair of tighty-whities.
The tourists started buzzing, snapping pictures and chatting excitedly.
Dipper sighed, and Mabel reached out to touch a large eyeball, when Stan slapped her hand with his 8-ball cane.
"No touching the merchandise!" he commanded.
"And Harrison, you need to pay for that tour." Stan added.
"What!? I work here! I don't even need to do anything right now!"
"I'll cut your fee by 75%."
I grumbled and gave him three bucks.
Soos (3rd person):
Soos was suspicious.
When he first met Harrison, Soos looked at his facial expression. Harrison seemed to recognize him. Whatever.
But since he first met him and gave him that high-five after blowing up hot dogs, he saw... he saw... well... it looked like when you touch a still lake, and ripples appear, but it was in the air. It also looked like rainbows. And Harrison didn't seem to notice.
That's when Soos started noticing all kinds of strange things. He noticed that Harrison almost knew the future. For example, he called out lines to TV shows as they were being said that never been seen before. He asked where the Burrito Bites were, and Burrito Bites were a store brand food and only sold in Gravity Falls. How did he know?
Soos observed things. He may look dumb on the outside, but he was very attentive.
Hmm...
Harrison (1st person):
I thought I was going to die of boredom. I feel you, Dipper.
It has been three days since I had paid Stan for that tour. THREE DAYS. Three days of watching Gravity Falls' horrible TV shows. Three days of being bossed around by Stan ("Harry! Can you rob Greasy's Diner?"). And three days of being bossed around by Stan. Wait, already said that. Three days of... uh...
After three days, as I was counting the funds made today, I saw Mabel peeking through a shelf of Stan bobbleheads.
"He's looking at it!" she whispered excitedly. "He's looking at it!"
"Uh," I heard someone say. I looked around and saw a boy Mabel's age reading a note. "'Do you like me? Yes... definitely... absolutely'?"
Recognizing these lines, I was relieved. Finally, Dipper would find the journal today.
"I rigged it!" Mabel said triumphantly.
Dipper was spraying a jar of fake eyeballs with soap nearby. He told Mabel, "Mabel, I know you're going through your whole "boy crazy" phase, but I think you're kind of overdoing the "crazy" part."
"What?" Mabel defended. She blew a raspberry. "Come on, Dipper! This is our first summer away from home! It's my big chance to have an epic summer romance!"
"Yeah, but do you need to flirt with every guy you meet?"
Mabel (3rd person):
Mabel did not flirt with every guy she met! Ridiculous!
Well...
So she did, but at least she's good at it!
Once at the Mystery Shack, she told a guy, "My name is Mabel, but you can call me "The girl of your dreams." I'M JOKING! Ha ha ha ha ha!" She playfully shoved him. A little too hard, though, as he crashed into a greeting card display.
Another time, downtown, she saw a boy on a bench with a tortoise. She popped up behind him and said, "Oh my gosh, you like turtles? I like turtles too! What is happening here?"
One time at a mattress store, an employee dressed as a prince announced, "Come one, come all, to the Mattress Prince's kingdom of savings!"
Mabel was hiding behind a set of colorful balloons. She poked her head out and whispered creepily to the employee, "Take me with you..."
"Ah!" The employee screamed. He dropped his scepter and cowered.
Mabel realized at this point that she came on too strong. She did need some work. But she wasn't about to let Dipper know that.
Harrison (1st person):
"Mock all you want, brother, but I got a good feeling about this summer. I wouldn't be surprised if the man of my dreams walked through that door right now!"
She gestured to a door. A moment later, Stan came out, and burped, but it got caught in his throat. He clutched his chest. "Oh! Oh, not good. Ow"
Dipper burst out laughing while Mabel complained, "Oh, why?"
"All right, all right, look alive people." interrupted Stan. "I need someone to go hammer up these signs in the spooky part of the forest."
"Not it!" Dipper and Mabel said quickly.
"Uh, also not it." said Soos, who wasfixing a shelf nearby.
"Nobody asked you, Soos." said Stan, clearly irritated.
"I know, and I'm comfortable with that." he replied. Soos then started eating a chocolate bar.
"Wendy! Harry! I need one of you to put up these signs!"
"I would," said Wendy, preoccupied reading a magazine at the checkout stand. "but I, ugh, can't, ugh, reach it, ugh."
"I'd fire all of you if I could." grumbled Stan.
I piped up. "Why do they need to be in the "spooky part of the forest"? Would anyone even be there?"
"All right, smart one. How about you hang these up?" Stan said, clearly tired of this conversation.
I started panicking on the inside. I messed up the story! Dipper was the one who found the journal, and who knows what would happen if I went? What if I didn't even find the journal? Uh... uh...
Ding!
I handed Stan a five dollar bill.
"Harry, if you think you can bribe me, you must be..." Stan stared at the dollar. "must be...
"Dipper!" Stan switched. "You hang up the signs!"
"Aw, what?" started Dipper. "Grunkle Stan, whenever I'm in those woods, I feel like I'm being watched."
"Ugh, this again." complained Stan.
"I'm telling you, something weird is going on in this town. Just today, my mosquito bites spelled out "BEWARE"."
Dipper held up his arm for Stan to see. At first glance it did look like "beware". Then Stan corrected, "That says "BEWARB."
Dipper scratched his arm shamefully.
"Look, kid. The whole "monsters in the forest thing" is just local legend, drummed up by guys like me to sell merch to guys like that."
Stan gestured to a large, sweaty man guffawing at a Stan bobblehead he was holding.
"So quit being so paranoid!" Stan gave Dipper the signs, and Dipper sighed.
Dipper (3rd person):
Later, when Dipper was hanging up signs in the forest, he was wondering how much of this he could take. Dipper couldn't stand being bossed around and being ignored.
"Ugh, Grunkle Stan. Nobody ever believes anything I ever say." Dipper grumbled.
As Dipper hammered another nail into a tree, the tree made metallic sounds, as if the tree was made entirely out of steel. Dipper suddenly got interested.
He investigated the tree. He tapped it with his hammer a few times, and it made more echo-y bang-y sounds.
Dipper touched the tree. It was ice cold. He ran his hand across it, and it wiped off dust which was apparently on it. He felt an indentation, pulled on it, and opened a secret hatch.
Inside the hatch was a mechanical box, similar-looking to a stereo. There were two switches on it. Dipper tested the one on the right. Nothing happened. He flipped the one on the left. Behind him, a hole opened in the ground nearby in an area where a goat was sniffing. "What the?" Wondered Dipper. He walked over to the hole, and looked inside. He saw an old book inside and pulled it out.
The book was in terrible shape. It was covered in cobweb, dust, and the cover had several rips. Dipper blew off some dust. The cover was the color burgundy. There was a golden hand with 6 fingers. Written on it was the number three. Dipper checked behind him. Then he opened the book.
The first page said "Property of-" but the rest of it was ripped away. On the right it said "Volume 3". There was an eyeglass on the page. Dipper picked it up and looked through it, then set it down. He turned the page. He read, "'It's hard to believe it's been six years since I began studying the strange and wondrous secrets of Gravity Falls, Oregon.'"
Dipper started flipping through the pages. There was information about ghosts, ciphers, and even a page exclusively about floating eyeballs. Dipper stopped at a page that said in big letters, "TRUST NO ONE!" He read the text: "'Unfortunately, my suspicions have been confirmed. I'm being watched. I must hide this book before he finds it. Remember: in Gravity Falls there is no one you can trust.'"
Dipper closed the journal. "No one you can trust..." he pondered.
"HELLO!" shouted a voice behind him.
"AH!" screamed Dipper. Then he recognized the voice as Mabel's.
"What'chya readin', some nerd thing?" asked Mabel.
Dipper turned around and hid the book behind his back. "Uh, uh, it's nothing!" he stammered.
Mabel imitated him. "'Uh, uh, it's nothing!'" She chuckled. "Are you actually not going to show me?"
A goat behind Dipper started chewing on the journal. Dipper thought about whether he should show Mabel the journal. "Uhhh..." She is your sister, his conscience thought.
Dipper caved. "Let's go somewhere private."
A deep, raspy, voice said behind him, "So the goats won't find you."
"Ah!" Dipper exclaimed. It was just Harrison. He tumbled over, laughing.
Harrison (1st person):
We were in the living room of the Shack.
Mabel was sitting on the arm of the yellow easy chair, I was sitting on the floor, and Dipper was pacing the room excitedly.
"It's amazing!" exclaimed Dipper. "Grunkle Stan said I was being paranoid, but according to this book, Gravity Falls has this secret dark side." He showed Mabel the page that said "TRUST NO ONE".
"Whoa!" exclaimed Mabel. "Shut. Up!" She pushed Dipper.
"And get this!" Dipper continued. "After a certain point, the pages just stop, like the guy who was writing it mysteriously disappeared." Then the doorbell rang. "Who's that?"
"Well, it's time to spill the beans. Boop!" Mabel tipped over an empty can of beans on the dinosaur-skull-shaped coffee table. "Beans. This girl's got a date! Woot woot!" Mabel made the "woot woot" motion with her hands, and fell back in the chair, giggling.
"Let me get this straight." Dipper recapped suspiciously. "In the half hour I was gone, you already have found a date?"
"I guess I'm just... IRRESISTIBLLLE!" Mabel wiggled her arms and bobbled her head. The doorbell rang again. "Oh. Coming!" She ran out to get the door.
Dipper and I sat down on the chair and began to read the journal.
"So there's, like, ghosts?"
"Yep." Dipper replied.
"Zombies?" I tested.
"Uh huh."
"Bald sweaty time travelers?"
"Bald... sweaty..." Dipper wondered aloud. Then Stan walked into to the room, drinking a Pitt's Cola.
"What'cha readin' there, boys?" he asked. Stan was in a good mood.
"Oh!" Dipper shoved the journal under the couch cushion. "We were just catchin' up on," he grabbed a magazine on the dinosaur-skull coffee table. "Uh..." Dipper read the cover. "'Gold Chains for Old Men Magazine'?"
"Because we're sooo interested in it." I said sarcastically.
"That a good issue." Stan advised.
"Hey family!" greeted Mabel, standing in the doorway next to a dark figure. "Say hello to my new boyfriend!"
Mabel's boyfriend turned around. It was a tall, pale teenager, wearing a black hoodie and jeans. A tuft of brown hair was visible, and there was a trickle of red liquid on his cheek. He was about a head taller than Mabel.
"S'up?" grunted the teen.
"Hey..." said Dipper.
"How's it hangin'?" greeted Stan.
"We met at the cemetery." said Mabel. "He's really deep." She grabbed his arm. "Oh. Little muscle there. That's... what a surprise."
"So, what's your name?" asked Dipper.
"Uh. Normal... MAN!" grunted Mabel's boyfriend.
"He means Norman." corrected Mabel.
"Can I call you Jeff?" I asked. Norman's eyes widened in fear.
"Are you bleeding, Norman?" Dipper asked, referring to the small trickle of red liquid on his face.
Norman paused. Some of the red stuff fell off his face, leaving only one droplet. "It's jam." he grunted.
Mabel gasped. "I love jam!" She playfully shoved him. "Look. At. This!"
"So," grunted Norman. "You wanna go hold hands or... whatever?"
"Oh," Mabel blushed. "Oh, my goodness." She giggled, yelled, "Don't wait up!" and ran outside.
Norman coolly pointed to us, stumbled into a wall, and stumbled outside with Mabel. I could hear thumping and glass breaking in the hall.
Dipper stared at the doorway. Then he said, "Something's off about Norman."
"You think?" I asked.
"Maybe the boy plays too many of those futuristic video games." Stan suggested. "I mean, he could barely walk, and his voice sounds like a car engine."
"Uh... Harrison and I are going to get a snack." said Dipper.
"We are?" I asked.
Dipper grabbed my arm, but instead of going in the kitchen, he took me upstairs.
"Listen," Dipper said. "I don't want Stan to know about the Journal. He would tease me about it, maybe even take it away, and I want you to play along. Okay?"
I understood. "Got it."
"So what do you think Norman is?"
"Duh. A gnome."
"A gnome!? Of course not. He's way too tall-"
"Maybe he's wearing stilts."
DIpper shook his head. "Let's look in the Journal."
He opened it. He turned a few pages until he got to a section mostly about monsters.
"Floating eyeball? Nope. Ghost?"
"Nah." I said.
"Not a gnome..." said Dipper as he skipped past the gnome page. "Wait!
"Known for their pale skin and bad attitudes, these creatures are often mistaken for... teenagers!? Beware Gravity Falls' nefarious..." Dipper gasped.
"ZOMBIES!"
Stan (3rd person):
Stan was in the bathroom looking in the mirror when he heard someone yell.
"Somebody say..." he wondered aloud. "Crombie? What is that, crombie? That's not even a word."
Stan widened his eyes worriedly. "You're losing your mind."
Dipper (3rd person):
Dipper was shocked. It made perfect sense. Norman had to be a zombie. He could imagine Norman's face on the picture of a zombie in the Journal saying, "S'up?"
"Wait, look!" Harrison pointed to the window.
Dipper looked out of it. He could see Mabel sitting on a picnic table and Norman walking towards her with his arms outstretched, just like a zombie's.
Mabel said something. She seemed happy and unaware that Norman looked like he was about to eat her brains.
"Oh, no! Mabel!" yelled Dipper.
Harrison: "And that is the end of the chapter! I left off at a cliffhanger. :)
Dallin: "Uh, anyone reading this would definitely have watched this on TV."
Harrison: "Whatever. The next chapter will be ready next week or sooner!"
