hi!thank you for reading so far!i appreciate all the reviews, they are really helpful! I always wanted Jake and Leah to end up together! I cannot stand the idea of Nessie and the longer time goes by I just find it hard to identify with Bella. Anyways this is my first story so any help, suggestions, ideas etc is greatly appreciated!
love emily xxx
Also sadly none of these characters belong to me!I would love to steal Jacob from Stephanie Meyer.
My head it feels like it is splitting in two. Seriously what did those leeches put in my drink? I mean I am a werewolf, it's hard for us to get drunk as our bodies metabolise the alcohol too quickly. And I'm pretty sure that I didn't drink that much. As I lie in bed hoping for the world to end so that the throbbing deep in my brain will stop, I hear footsteps approaching, and pray to god that nobody disturbs me.
I am about to rip the head off the person who is entering my room. But when I look up it is Seth proffering paracetamol and alka-seltzers and he whispers 'Hey Lee, I usually find these help after a night drinking at the Cullens.'
I make a mental note to ask how he found this out and also how many times he had been drinking with the Cullens. I take them from him without argument and he seems surprised. Well I suppose I would normally bite his head off for even entering my room. What have I done to deserve such a good brother though? I know Seth loves me even when I sometimes treat him like crap. I really should be nicer to him. So I stand up, oh my head! Err why is the room moving? I stumble close to Seth and give him a huge hug. 'Thanks Sethy. You are a good bro! Love you.' He hugs me back 'Err are you ok Leah?' I know he is referring to the fact that I was just nice to him, but I just ignore that and pretend he is asking about my hangover.
'Not really Sethy I feel like crap' my Mum says I swear too much and it's not very lady like. But then again I'm not very ladylike full stop. 'Lots to do today though, so I better get myself in gear,' jeez no wonder he is worried about me with my fake enthusiasm.
He looks a little surprised but is also smiling slightly 'ok well I'm off to patrol so see you later sis. Love you too.' Maybe it wouldn't hurt me to be a little more like my brother at times. Not the overly-enthusiastic-ALWAYS-happy-bromancing-on-Jacob-and-Edward-ness though. Just you know, like a bit nicer.
I get dressed in what I think is actually my last pair of shorts and a big old t-shirt. Wow Leah looking good…..not. But at this point in time it is the best I can do. I decide to go to Jakes this morning to see if there is any news from patrol last night. Ok that's totally an excuse but I can't help it if my alpha is a smoking hot and I haven't seen him in and say or two. And of course there is the fact that I am in love with him.
When I get to the Blacks house Jacob is not there which does in fact piss me off. I don't want to think about the fact that he is probably with the spawn! *Shudder*! Billy seems pleased to see me, although he is probably the only one in La Push! 'Leah, how are you? I haven't seen you for a while,' he beams and rolls out on to the front porch.
I attempt a smile but I'm pretty certain it is weak due to my hung over state and also that the muscles in my face used to smile have not been used and exercised in rather a long time. 'I'm alright Billy, been pretty busy with all the patrolling.' Nice white lie. Yes I have been protecting La Push, no I have not been out getting drunk with vampires.
'If you don't mind me saying, you err don't look so great.' Billy has always been direct. I snort as he fixes me with a serious look and stares at my face as if examining everything about it.
'I'm a bit tired that's all, but I'm alright!' I am sure I'm getting quite accomplished with this lying to authority figures business
He looks at me again straight in the eyes and I feel slightly uncomfortable and want to look away. But I can't.
'Leah you are a shell. Where is your soul? You have always been so full of life, and energy. I never hear you sing anymore. Your father, he would be so proud of you coping with what you have done. I know it hasn't been easy but you have to stop punishing yourself. You are lost and you need to find yourself again. Be true to who you are.' Billy speaks impassioned and I know he is right.
It brings a few tears to my eyes thinking about my Dad as well. Billy wheels himself down the ramp along a walk way to the back of the house and I follow him so that we are standing at the edge of the forest. I wonder what we are going to do here. I know Billy is a big believer in the spirits of the forest but if there are any they have forsaken me a long time ago. He points his arms to a big green redwood tree. 'What do you see Leah?'
Okay, well I wasn't quite expecting that. 'Er a tree?' I ask tentatively.
He seems entranced by the tree with his back to completely so he cannot see my confused expression. 'No, no! Look again. That tree is life! Look at the beauty of it.'
I think the old man has been drinking to be honest! How is this supposed to be helping?
'That tree like you has faced much adversity people have tried to chop it down and it nearly died in a forest fire but still it grows on. The life continues. Its beauty shines through. You are a lot like that Leah.'
I'm not entirely sure what to say at this point. I'm torn between seeing exactly his point (and not wanting to admit it) and thinking that all this talk of trees is frankly a bit silly.
He turns his wheelchair around to face me with a sympathetic look. 'I know the boys have not been easy on you, but that is exactly what they are. Boys playing at being men. They had a hard enough time phasing themselves only to find you defying the legend. And then that of all the females in La Push, it was you Leah Clearwater that phased. They know what Sam did to you was wrong but as their alpha they couldn't think badly of him. They could not comprehend you feelings. Forgive them.'
Ok gulp getting a little emotional here. I see why Billy is technically the leader of our tribe. Five minutes with him and he had turned me all weepy by comparing me to a tree.
Then a smile splits his face and I see where Jake gets his goofy smile from. 'Of course your attitude does not help.'
I think about making a smart comment but looking at Billy I just sight and say 'I know, I do need to chill out a bit.'
He laughs, 'Don't change Leah. You have always been feisty, a force of nature, just like your father.'
My eyes begin to water thinking about my father and how much I miss him. Looking at Billy he seems to be a bit teary as well. 'I know it is hard for you to think about him. I really miss him too.'
'I miss him so much Billy. Does it ever get any easier?' I know Billy has experienced a lot of loss in his life and he maybe can help me try to do something about this gaping hole left in my life by the loss of my dad.
Once again he fixes me with a look that penetrates deep into me and seems to hesitate.
'Yes and no,' he answers truthfully. 'You find ways to distract yourself and eventually find enjoyment in the little things that remind you of them. The pain never goes away but in time it does get easier.' I appreciate his honesty even if it isn't necessarily what I wanted to hear. I wanted someone to tell me that everything will be ok. I suppose he has in a roundabout way.
'So you need to find yourself more distractions other than being a wolf. Think of all the things you used to enjoy and get back into them. I would like to see you getting into your music and taking part more in the bonfires again.'
I know he is right, 'I don't want to be unhappy anymore.' Why can't I just shut up? I sound so wet, my wolf self would kick my ass right now! It does feel good to confide in someone though.
'Only you have the power to make yourself happy again Leah. I know you can do it.' Billy's faith in me means so much. It's nice that someone believes I can be anything other than the bitter harpy. I guess it means even more to me because Billy is someone I really respect and he was my father's best friend.
'Thanks Billy,' wow my voice sounds a bit wobbly. 'I've enjoyed talking to you very much but I really better get going.'
'Where are you off to in a hurry?' He inquires.
I snort, 'you would not believe me if I told you, but I am going to do something I have not done in a long time that my old self used to enjoy very much.'
He chuckles at this. 'Don't be a stranger Leah. You are like a daughter to me. I really want to see you smiling again.'
I smile and wave as I jog off back to my house to get ready for something I never thought I would find myself doing.
Please, please, please review and let me know what you think!
