"I miss you..."
That single phrase, I wrote in the sand.
It was like looking through a portal into a distant reality. You were there, everything was in grasp and everyone around you could see you, smile at you, kiss you... but it wasn't really you. There was something stopping you from reaching out and interacting and instead of you there was a ethereal representation of you. It looked like you, walked like you, talked like you and even laughed like you... but you had no control over... it. When you clenched your fist, it was reaching for another drink. When you wrapped your arms around yourself to keep from shaking, it threw it's hands in the air and moved to the beating bass. When you were screaming 'no', it was whispering... 'yes'.
She couldn't remember the name of the club, or who she had even came with. Some junkie from down the hall who was always looking for someone to smoke with, or have a shot with. She had no accent but had a foreign name... which was probably fake. She wore high heels all of the time–probably wore them to bed. Her skirts were too tight and her shirts were too see-through... but then again that's how every women in her apartment complex dressed, including herself.
The bass was vibrating in her chest... she felt as if the music stopped, so would her heart. Her vision was blinded by flashing lights, shining all colors of the spectrum. The air smelled of booze, body odor and smoke. To most people, this place probably would have looked like a hole in the wall, an opium den, a place for addicts and runaways and women with daddy issues... But to the regulars... well what they saw was what made them regulars. No one payed attention to the cracks in the floors, the paint and sticky syrup on the bar. The women were all models and the men were all big shots with fancy hovers. It was home.
Rikku sat at the bar, a cigarette dangling from her lips. She had finished her drink and was waiting for the bartender. He was a scrawny boy, with piercings and blue hair. He wore a mesh shirt with tight black pants. He winked at the guys and snarled at the girls. No body ever paid attention to him. The girl she had come with was soliciting down at the far end of the bar for some sort of herb that she wanted to smoke. She talked low and sweet, pushing her chest out coyly... probably offering her dirty deeds.
Rikku, though... ghr head was empty. Her eyes were glazed from whatever she had shot up the hour before, her stare distance and almost lifeless. The only thing in sight was her next drink... tunnel vision.
"Hey, don't I know you?"
From over her shoulder Rikku could already smell the stench of cheap cologne come from this tool. He wasn't very tall, light skin, dark hair, dirty looking. And even with the little bit of bile that rose in her throat as an indication of just how sleazy this one was, she still forced a charming smile.
"I don't think so." Polite, but not interested. At least that was what she was trying to get across. Unfortunately it never worked.
"Well then I would really like to... I'm Fahlyr. What can I do to get to know you?" He set his hand on her shoulder, her personal space was being invaded.
She curled her upper lip and shrugged from his grasp. "You can buy me a drink."
He smiled and flashed his dirty, yellow teeth.
She could see as the bartender mixed her drink, the poisonous looks that he was giving her. Mr. Bartender didn't have very high standards... what. ever.
Suddenly, her attention was caught by the girl that she had come with. She appeared by her side and pulled on her arm. She grabbed her hand and shoved something small into it. Rikku looked down to find a tiny white pill with a butterfly stamped into it. She looked to her friend.
"Take it."she said.
"What is it?" Rikku asked.
"Does it matter?"
Rikku looked from her friend, to what's-his-name and then to the bartender who set down her drink gently in front of her without taking a sip. Did it really matter? It never had before, so why should it now? It doesn't. She wasn't sure why she was listening to her conscious at this point. She had gone to hell and came straight back, and then decided she liked hell better and decided to go back and stick around for a while.
After a moment of hesitation, she threw the pill to the back of her throat and then downed her drink. It burned all the way down, and her fingers grew numb. It was perfect. Fahlyr continued with his advances and as the drugs hit her, she became less and less polite. Her friend had left her alone to go smoke whatever it was she was looking for. It didn't take long for a tall, lean red head to fill her spot.
Fahlyr tried slipping his arm around her waist, and Rikku squirmed, almost falling from her chair. His face had become blurred, like when they censor tits on the TeleSphere. She giggled and whispered hoarsely "I'm sorry fal-la-leer. I shouldn't have led you on or anything but I am so gay. Like... super gay."
"Gay?" If she could have seen his face, she knew it would have conveyed total shock.
"Yeah. I love boobies." With that she turned and raised a hand towards the redhead, "I'm sorry to be so straightforward, gorgeous, but would you like to dance?"
And the rest was all a blur...
Gippal parked his bike in an overnight parking lot. He wasn't sure if he was going to make it back to Djose tonight. He had taken the precaution to put the lock on the handlebars and unhook the fuel line. He wasn't taking any chances in this down and out dump of a city. Luca was a great place if you were just visiting. The tourist spots were good at covering up the dirty underground. The drugs, the sex and the gambling. It was all here in Luca, but you couldn't see it. Nor could you find it. The only way you could get to those parts of town is if you already knew where they were.
He knew. He knew very well.
She stumbled on the sidewalk, her heels hitting the cracks. Her vision was blurred through the sweat dripping down her forehead. Hours had passed since she had taken that pill and finally she thought the effects were starting to wear off. Not that she didn't enjoy the drugs, oh she enjoyed them very much. But after so many hallucinations you became fed up with not knowing what is real and what isn't. You became nauseous from feeling like you were walking around looking through a kaleidoscope.
She looked at to the sky. The sun was no where in sight and neither were the stars. The bright lights of the big city dimmed them out, the smog creating a red haze over the buildings. The cool breeze of night hit her like a bucket of water. It felt good against the sweat dripping down her chest and through her shirt. She felt like she could breath again.
She coughed the smoke from her lungs and carried on down the abandoned street. Her destination was home. She looked around to see if anywhere was there, in the alley, behind that hover. She wasn't afraid of walking down the dirty streets alone... she just wanted to make sure she didn't see anyone she knew.
As she turned the corner the lights from a hover clouded her vision and sped by her, a cat call came from the driver. She ignored it, didn't waiver or lose her composure. It happened regularly. It was when the hover kicked in reverse and pulled up beside her that startled her. She sneered at the driver.
"Hey there pretty lady... you remember me?" It was Fahlyr. This time he was accompanied by another short man. He was tan with a long beard. He looked homeless.
"You scared the shit out of me." She said, continuing to walk. The hover continued in reverse by her side.
"Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it." His breath smelled of booze and he was slurring his words. He shouldn't have been driving.
"It's fine."
"I really am sorry. But hey. I liked your dancing, you're very pretty."
She didn't respond. Ignore them, they'll go away.
His hobo friend piped up, "You look cold, doll. Here, this'll warm you up." He shoved a bottle in a brown bag towards her.
She shook her head. "I've had enough for tonight."
"Hey!" the guy shouted, "I know her. I know who she is. Man, that's Rikku!"
"Rikku, like save the world? Cid's daughter? The High Summoner's guardian? That Rikku?"
Rikku rolled her eyes, "No, sorry. You've got me confused."
Fahlyr laughed, "Nah, that's where I know you from. Come on sweetheart... hop on."
Rikku growled. Her vision was getting worse and she had the spins. Her legs were tired from dancing and walking, her breath was short. She just wanted to go home. She didn't want to have to deal with these jackasses... who were still driving backwards, mind you. "No. I'm going home. It's late."
She turned off into a park, where they wouldn't be able to follow.
"Late? This is early for us!" Fahlyr shouted after her.
"Be careful!" the other shouted. The hover roared and sped off, and finally she was alone.
She just wanted to go home. Just... home.
He wasn't really a big drinker. Okay... well he wasn't an alcoholic. He had to admit that he did do quite a bit of partying in his days with the Crimson Squad. But he was young then, he didn't have a care in the world. Now he had to care for the whole world. He had responsibilities now. Every so often he could get a chance to get off work, get away from the faction and enjoy himself a little. Of course he always found himself thinking about work. In the recent years he had become so immersed in his work that he almost forgot how to enjoy things. He missed laughing, and smiling. He missed having a few drinks with close friends. But now all he had were business partners and employees. He didn't even have a girl to keep him company... man, I need to get laid.
She wasn't shaken up by her encounter with the goons from the bar. She had faced much uglier beasts. She could handle herself... but she was unsteady. She knew it was the drugs... the alcohol. Her chest hurt, she could hear herself wheezing. She just needed to get home and get some sleep. But the lights were so bright and she couldn't see straight. She stumbled over herself and managed to get down a few stairs without falling. Even with the cold breeze she was still sweating. She was a mess.
She wobbled her way across the road when she heard the engine approaching and then die.
"Hey Rikku."
She kept walking.
"Rikku, hang on a second."
She picked up her pace, not looking back.
She could hear them jump from the vehicle and run up beside her. They stank and they wobbled and were chuckling like the village idiots.
"Mind if we walk with you?" Fahlyr asked.
"I'm fine." she grumbled.
"C'mon," his friend said, "It's late out. A pretty girl like you shouldn't be walking the streets alone."
She wiped the sweat from her eyes and sighed loudly. They were close to her, almost touching her. It made her cringe and she began walking faster. "I can take care of myself." she snapped.
"Hey now," Fahlyr whispered, "You're not scared of us are you?"
She spat, "Not at all."
"Good, good." he said, nodding, "Cause we're good guys. We're just watching out for your safety and all."
"I told you I can take care of myself."
Fahlyr's friend took a swig from his wrapped up bottle, making a loud gulping noise in his throat and then licked his lips. It was a sickening sound.
"Hey, uh... I got a question. You own that airship right? How much does it cost to get one of those. 'Cause me and my buddy were thinking about getting one. You know, traveling around Spira and all."
"It's my brother's. I don't know."
"Hey," his friend said, thrusting the bottle towards her, "Why don't you take a shot or something."
"No. I'm fine."
"Yeah, you don't look too good there doll."
"I'm fine."
There was a long silence. The two were still walking beside, one on each side. Even though she felt like she was running, she was really only walking quickly. Her legs were weak underneath her, her whole body was hot and shaking. The pain in her chest was getting worse. The walk home had never seemed this long before.
"Hey, I got another question," suddenly, Fahlyr put his lips to her ear, "You like fucking... don't cha?"
She doubled over, a shooting pain cutting through her stomach. She cried out a little, muffling the noise with her hand. She looked up at him from under her dark eyelashes, sweat dripping down her face. "What the fuck did you just say to me?"
"What's wrong Princess? Partied too much? Someone fuck you a little too hard?"
His friend laughed.
She knew, at this moment, that she wasn't going to get home any time soon. She could fight them, but the pain was too much. She could barely stand.
Fahlyr pulled something from his pocket, chuckling to himself. He held out a pack of cigarettes. "Want one?"
And then a surge of adrenaline kicked in. An after effect from the pills? Or maybe it was her realizing that these men didn't just want to hang around and chat. Whatever it was though, she booked it. She ran through the pain, kicking off her heels as she went. She stumbled and wobbled. She couldn't even run in a straight line. Everything around her was blurred and the wind made her eyes sting. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
She heard them calling after her.
"Hey Rikku! Where yah going?"
"We were just trying to play nice!"
"Hey! Come back!"
She kept running. She ran as fast as she could, through the piles of garbage and from one side of the street to the other.
"Rikku!"
But it was all to no avail. She got caught by the back of her shirt, the collar strangling her momentarily. She cried out in a muffled choke. In an instant Fahlyr's arms were around her waist and she was up off of the ground. She kicked, trying to cry out but her lungs felt like they had collapsed in on themselves. The pain was immense and tear flooded her eyes.
"It's okay sweetheart. Calm down." he laughed as he swung her around playfully.
She bit her lip and kicked out furiously, managed to get her heal to connect with his groin. Fahlyr fell to his knees losing his grip on her. She kicked forward but he caught the end of her scarf, causing it to constrict around her neck.
"Rikku," he cried in a pleading tone.
She turned to see him grinning with his crooked teeth glaring under the street lights. She didn't waste her time and hit him in the nose with a right hook. Fahlyr immediately let go of her, his hands flying to his face as he cried out in pain. Once again she made a mad dash for some sort of safety, but she soon found herself in the arms of his buddy, who appeared from around the corner of a building. She tried backtracking but he had a firm hold on her. He lifted her off the ground, and began to carry her. She kicked and tried screaming but the air from her lungs had depleted. The only sound she could make were quiet sobs of pain and groans of anger.
She found herself being pulled into an alleyway. Her heart was pounding in her head and she could only make out shapes through the tears and dizzy spinning.
"Pretty little Rikku. Trying to get away. You're alright honey," the man whispered into her ear, his hot breath on her face. She could feel the bile rising in her throat again.
It didn't take long for Fahlyr to appear, causing her to thrash out into another desperate attempt to get away. But the grip around her didn't diminish. They had gotten her. In the dim streetlight she could see blood gushing from Fahlyr's nose.
"You made me bleed." his tone was ugly and spiteful. He spat a mixture of blood and phlegm.
"Good," she coughed, struggling one more time. "Good."
"Good?" he asked, looking at his buddy with disbelief. "Good..." he trailed off, and then let out a short laugh. He wiped the blood from his nose and looked at it for a second. He then brought his attention back to her and slapped her across the face.
He hit her hard. She could feel the outline of the stinging mark he had left on her face. She didn't need to see a mirror to realize that there was a large, red handprint. It would bruise in the morning... if she saw the morning.
She couldn't hold it in anymore. She let out a sob. It was soft and barely audible, but the shame of letting her pain show was no less. She was a strong woman. She had always fought her own battles. She could roughhouse with the boys and didn't cry when she scrapped her knees. She could traverse through the deserts of Home and not worry about being caught by surprise by a fiend. She knew how to fight. She never let herself be bullied. She fought Sin and Vegnagun. She saved the world twice. And now she couldn't even defend herself.
Maybe it would be best if she died. Then she wouldn't have to worry about the pain anymore...
"Here. Let me ask you something, Princess. Do you really think you're so much better than me?" he asked, pacing back and forth in front of her. She looked up at him through teary eyes.
"Oh you... little miss Rikku. You think you're better than all of us, don't you? 'I saved the world, look at me up here on my pedestal.'" His impression of her was sickening, and for some reason made her heart ache. Was that how everyone viewed her?
He continued, "You saved Spira? What a load of shit. You did nothing and you know it."
She ground her teeth. Why was she letting this guy get to her. He didn't know her, he didn't know what happened. She did help save Spira... didn't she?
Fahlyr began unbuttoning his jacket, and she could hear his friend chuckling softly behind her. She squirmed and tried kicking out, but nothing worked. He had her in a steel vice. She wasn't going anywhere. They knew that and she knew that.
"So why don't you come on down from the clouds and realize that the world isn't your playground sweetheart? Why don't you play with us? We play real nice." He dropped his jacket to the floor.
She started to scream, if you could call it that. It was a wheezy sort of shout. The louder she shrieked the tighter the grip around her rib cage was, and the more her body hurt. She was getting light headed. She began crying hard. This was going to be her last memory? Alone in an alleyway in Luca? About be raped and possibly killed by two low-life thugs? Without anyone to care that she was gone? What had she become?
Through her screams she could hear them shouting.
"Shut her up, will yah?"
"I'm trying."
A hand was placed over her mouth.
She bit it.
"Shit!" the man shouted, instantly releasing her, "The cunt bit me!"
She fumbled down onto the ground. Before she could even catch her breath and stand her ground Fahlyr had his arms around her. In a dizzying motion he had her on her back on the dirty ground, halfway in a puddle. It was cold, and her body began to go numb. Fahlyr was on top of her, straddling her waist as he ripped open her shirt. He slipped his hand onto her breast, as to rip her bra off.
She let out a blood curddling shriek.
"HEY!" he shouted into her face as he smacked both of her cheeks.
Her sobbing and crying out ceased. She looked up at him wide eyed. He cradled her face in his hands as he drew his closer. They were almost touching.
"Shut up!"
His face swirled and the streetlight behind him began to dim. She began to sob again.
He struck her head against the ground and she let out one last call for help before everything turned black...
Please...
It was late and he hadn't gotten laid. None of the girls who were out would give him the time of day. Did they not know who he was? How could they not want to sleep with Gippal? The leader of the Al Bhed Machine Faction? He was a big shot, and girls loved big shots.
It was around three in the morning that he decided to give it up and go back to his hotel room. He chugged his last ale before heading out. He was decently intoxicated and had mildly enjoyed himself despite not having any female company this time. He wasn't too bummed about it though. He needed time to be alone, to be really alone.
The streets were chilled with night air. It felt good against the layer of sweat that had developed on the back of his neck. He lit a cigarette as he walked. He wasn't really one to smoke, only when he was drinking. It was more of a social thing, a conversation starter. Or sometimes when he was really pissed off about something he would have a smoke. But he never really got addicted to them. He had his first cigarette while he was in the Crimson Squad. Now that he thought of it, he had a lot of firsts with Nooj, Baralai and Paine.
Sometimes he missed those days. And most of the time he didn't.
He continued walking down the empty street, kicking rocks with his large work boots as he went along. As he puffed on the cigarette he lost himself in thought. The air was cold and the city was quiet. There was a strange stillness. It almost felt wrong.
It was when he turned a corner that he heard it. The distressed cried of a woman. It sounded close and Gippal being Gippal, he wasn't just going to ignore it. He set off quickly, following the sound of the cries. As he neared he could hear two other hushed voices underneath the desperate pleas of the woman.
As he approached the alley, a shout made his stop.
"HEY!"
Gippal held his breath for a moment. The ruckus was coming from the alleyway.
"Shut up!"
Gippal shuffled forward and swung around the corner to find two men hunched over the limp body of a small woman. A rush of adrenaline kick started in his veins.
He marched up to the two and with one swift kick sent the man straddling the woman up and over into the side of a dumpster. His companion leaped out of the way just in time, but came at Gippal as if he was going to try and fight. Gippal was at least a foot taller than both of the men, and his arm length was a lot longer. Before the thug could even get close he knocked him out with a left hook to the side of the head. The first guy who he thought he had knocked out was up on his feet again and didn't waste time coming at Gippal. He put his fist up and got the guy square in the nose, a loud crunching sound made him cringe. And before the man could hit the ground, Gippal had ahold of his shoulders and was thrusting his knee into his groin. He heard all of the air escape from the criminal's lungs as he fell limp to the dirty ground.
'Right where he belongs,' Gippal thought.
He rushed over to the huddled mass of a woman. She was scrawny and fragile looking. She looked like a kid. Her knees were buckled in and her head was tossed to the side with her bloody, sweaty hair matted to her face. Her shirt had been ripped open and her bra was askew. He immediately took his jacket off and crouched down to wrap it around the girl. He lifted her gently into his arms, and softly swept away the tangled blond mess.
His throat closed up and he unwittingly let out a gasp.
"Rikku..."
Her face was bloody and bruised. She looked sick, her skin was pale and scaly.
"Oh Rikku..."
A congested city, within people crossing
I wander alone, looking for you.
I could faintly hear your voice calling me,
I turned around, but there was no one there.
Author's Note: I sincerely and deeply apologize. I haven't updated this in a year. I'm so ashamed. Stuff happens though and some things just get pushed aside. It's really sad what happened in the passed year... but I'm not going into that! All that matters is that there is more to this story! I shall be continuing it! This chapter was very difficult to write in all ways: physically, mentally and emotionally. And P.S. - I did not really make Rikku gay. That's just a joke I put in there for my own amusement. My friends and I pretend to be in a relationship when a guy we don't like is hitting on us. Eh, it only works half of the time. Whatever. I'm rambling. I hope you enjoyed! Please review!
