Summary: Calvin and Dr Brainstorm's Dads begin thinking they need to spend more time with their sons. Interestingly enough, it doesn't go well.
And now back to Calvin and Hobbes: The Series
Written by Swing123 and Garfieldodie
Dad
Saturday morning was beginning in the Calvin and Hobbes household. Calvin greeted it in the usual way.
His eyes slowly fluttered open, and he looked around the room.
His eyes fell on the alarm clock on the desk beside him.
9:23AM
His eyes burst wide open and he shot straight up in bed.
"WE SLEPT IN!!!" He screamed at the top of his lungs.
Hobbes was immediately jolted out of sleep by Calvin's sudden outburst, and sprung into the air.
"What... what?!" he grumbled, looking around, wide-eyed.
"IT'S NINE THIRTY!!" Calvin screamed, whipping around to Hobbes. "WE'RE MISSING SPONGEBOB!!"
That got Hobbes' attention.
His eyes flew wide open, and he was out of bed in an instant.
Calvin followed suit, and frantically threw his pajamas off, and began putting his regular attire on, trying to get down the stairs at the same time.
He stumbled down the stairs, managing to get dressed in the process, and flew over to where Hobbes was already sitting on the couch with the remote.
Calvin frantically switched the TV on and turned it to Nickelodeon.
Spongebob wasn't on. It was a rerun of that Kid's Choice Awards special.
For a few seconds Calvin and Hobbes stared at the screen while the host went through a list of nominees for some random award.
"The nominees are..." He said, reading off a piece of paper. "Ed, Edd, 'n' Eddy, Danny Phantom, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Sabrina: The Teenaged Witch and The Simpsons,"
He pulled out another piece of paper.
"And the winner is...."
Calvin suddenly pushed the 'channel up' button, and the TV switched over to Boomerang.
Hobbes sighed.
"I knew you were going to do that," He mumbled.
Calvin grinned innocently, and took the TV guide from the desk.
"Let's see what we have for today," He said, scanning the schedule. "Looks like Spongebob's been delayed until ten o'clock, but it also looks like we can catch the last half hour of Garfield and Friends on Cartoon Network!"
"Sounds like a plan," Hobbes said. "What should we do after Spongebob?"
"There's a big Doctor Who marathon on BBC America, so we can just watch that until something else of interest comes on Nickelodeon."
"Sounds good. Let us begin the brain rot!"
And with that, Calvin and Hobbes turned, and started staring, vacantly at the TV.
This went on for a good minute and a half.
Suddenly, Dad walked up and stopped by the televison set, staring at Calvin with his hands on his hips.
Calvin seemed to not notice him.
Dad sighed, and reached up and turned the TV off.
Calvin snapped out of the trance he was in and his eyes burst open.
"HEY!" He yelled, angrily. "I was watching that!!"
"Calvin, you and I haven't been spending much time together, recently." Dad said, crossing his arms.
"Yeah, I've been busy saving alien planets from deadly invasions," Calvin grumbled.
"Uh huh," Dad said, rolling his eyes. "But, the point is that we need to spend more time together, so I'm declaring today Father / Son day!"
"Dad, I'd love to play the 'quality time' game with you, today, but the MTM accidently ripped a hole open in the fabric of reality last night, and I need to find a way to seal it up before the interdimensional leakage starts. Once that energy starts flowing into our reality it could create a black hole strong enough to swallow the entire universe!"
"Well, your just going to have to do that later," Dad said, putting a hand on Calvin's shoulder.
"What could we possibly do that is more important than saving our plain of reality?" Calvin demanded.
Dad handed Calvin a bicycle helmet.
Calvin stared at it for a long moment.
He looked back up at his father.
"Am I in trouble for something?" He asked. "Because if I am, than I'm really sorry and..."
"Come on," Dad sighed, taking Calvin by the hand and leading him out.
Realizing he wasn't going to get out of this, Calvin whipped around to Hobbes, who was still watching the TV.
"Hobbes, go seal up that hole!" He ordered, as his father led him away. "MTM will tell you what to do!"
"OK," Hobbes said, not taking his eyes off the TV.
Calvin complained to himself as his Dad lead him outside.
Meanwhile in Yellowstone, Dr Brainstorm and Jack were enjoying the day off. Brainstorm had decided to take a break from blowing up parts of the lab trying to take over the world, and Jack had decided to..... Well, it wasn't very much of a change for Jack, except he didn't need to get up and save Brainstorm every few minutes.
The two were sitting on the big couch in the main lab, watching TV on the monitor before them.
"I still think Danny Phantom should have won," Brainstorm said, glaring at the TV.
Jack rolled his eyes, looking up from his magazine long enough to see what Brainstorm had changed the channel to.
"Ah, what a great day this going to be," Brainstorm sighed, leaning back into the couch. "No explosions, no frustration, no major screw ups, just relaxation and resting,"
"Yep," Jack nodded, taking a sip from a bottle of lemonade.
"Do you know what make this day even better?" Brainstorm yelled, suddenly leaping up.
"Hmmmm?" Jack asked, looking up.
"Root beer!" Brainstorm declared, running into the kitchen.
"Sure, I'll have a glass," Jack said, expressionlessly, gulping down the rest of his lemonade and throwing the bottle aside.
There was a pause, as Jack continued to stare blankly at his magazine. Suddenly, a red light on the console started flashing.
The robot looked up.
"Hey, Frank, we're getting call," Jack called to Brainstorm in the kitchen.
"DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!!! And would you get it for me? I'm busy pouring the root beer!!"
Jack rolled his eyes, and reached over and pushed a button on the console.
The screen changed from The Kids Choice Awards Special to something else. Something else made Jack snap to attention.
Mother Brainstorm. She evidently had just woken up. She was wearing curlers and a bathrobe and only had half of her makeup on. It was an odd sight.
"WHERE'S FRANKLIN?!?!" The insane woman screeched looking around the lab, frantically.
"He's in the kitchen," Jack yawned. "Would you like me fetch him for you?"
"PLEASE DO!!!" Mother Brainstorm shrieked. "AND HURRY FIRST CHANCE YOU GET!!!"
"Righto," Jack nodded. "Hey, Frank, your mother's calling,"
Silence followed this statement.
"Frank?" Jack asked, looking up.
No reply.
"Frank, your mother wants to talk to you," Jack sighed.
Nothing.
"FRANKLIN!!! GET IN HERE!!!!" Mother Brainstorm roared.
"Yes, mommy!" Brainstorm whimpered, rushing into the main lab.
"IT'S ABOUT TIME!!" Brainstorm's mother screamed. "YOU ALWAYS LATE TO EVERYTHING!!! WHY DON'T YOU EVER TRY BE ON TIME FOR ONCE?!?! I REMEMBER THE DAY WHEN YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE AT THAT.... HEY!! LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!!! WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT EYE CONTACT?!?!"
"Sorry, mommy," Brainstorm whined, looking up at his mother.
"THAT'S BETTER!!!! I CALLED TO TELL YOU THAT YOUR FATHER'S COMING OVER TO VISIT!!!"
"What?!" Brainstorm yelled, perking up. "But... but he can't!"
"WELL HE IS!!" Mother Brainstorm shot back. "HE SAYS HE HASN'T SPENT ENOUGH TIME WITH YOU, LATELY SO DEAL WITH IT!!!"
And with that, the screen went back to Nickelodeon.
For several seconds Brainstorm was silent.
Then, he turned to Jack.
"WHY DID YOU ANSWER IT?!?!" He demanded.
"You told me to," Jack said.
"DIDN'T YOU CHECK THE CALLER ID?!"
"Yes," Jack nodded.
"WELL THEN, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME IT WAS MY MOTHER?!?!"
"You didn't ask," Jack replied.
"RRRRRRGH!!" Brainstorm growled, whipping around, and marching back into the kitchen.
Jack shrugged and turned back to the TV.
Suddenly, the sound of a doorbell rang out through the lab.
DING DONG!!
"Oh NO!!!" Brainstorm wailed. "WHY DID SHE CALL RIGHT BEFORE HE GOT HERE?!?!"
Jack shrugged, and pulled out another bottle of lemonade.
Brainstorm rushed back into the main lab.
"THIS PLACE IS A MESS AND MY FATHER IS HERE!!!" He cried.
"Yep," Jack nodded.
"IT'S NOT FAIR!!!!"
"Nope,"
DING DONG!!!
"GO OPEN THE DOOR, JACK!!!" Brainstorm ordered.
"Whatever," Jack sighed, getting up, and walking over to the console.
He pushed a button on it, and sat back down.
There was a rumbling in the next room, signaling the metal doors had opened up. The sound of footsteps echoed through the lab, and then Father Brainstorm entered.
Meanwhile, things were not going well for Calvin and his father.
Dad was trying to teach Calvin to balance on his bicycle, but as predicted, the bicycle wasn't behaving.
"There, good job, Calvin, you're balancing," Dad said, one hand on either side of Calvin in case he fell. "You're doing good!"
"Dad, don't let go!!" Calvin cried. "It'll will kill me if you let go!!"
"The bicycle's not going to kill you, Calvin," Dad said, rolling his eyes. "Just concentrate on balancing. You're doing good. Now, just...."
Suddenly the started growling, unheard by Dad of course, and it bucked forward, flinging Calvin off of it.
"AAAUGH!!!" Calvin screamed, flying forward and slamming into a tree.
CRASH!!!
Dad stared at him.
"SEE?!?" He screamed, jabbing a finger at the bike. "That bike is insane!! It tried to kill me!! You saw it!! GET THE GUN AND SHOOT IT!!!"
"Oh knock it off, Calvin," Dad sighed. "You just need some practice. Here, let me show you."
He mounted his own bicycle, and snapped his helmet in place.
Then he put his feet on the pedals, and started moving forward.
"There you see?" He said, steering the bike over to Calvin and stopping. "It's just trying to learn to balance. And you know, once you learn to ride a bicycle you never forget."
"Yeah, but by the time I do learn to ride it, you've forgotten everything else about your life, because you've been bucked off it so many times!!!" Calvin wailed.
"It's not bucking you off, Calvin," Dad sighed. "Come on, just give it another go. And think of all the fun you'll have once you learn how to ride it."
"Just think of all the emergency room visits you'll have to pay for in the process it takes me to learn to ride it!" Calvin spat.
"Uh huh," Dad said, rolling his eyes. "Now come on, let's give it a go,"
Dad got off his bike and helped Calvin onto his own.
"Now let's go!" Dad shouted, pedaling forward towards the road.
Calvin paused, looking down at his bike.
Suddenly, it started following Dad's bike. On its own.
"DAD!!" Calvin screamed, starting to panic. "WHERE'S IT TAKING ME?!?"
Dad rolled his eyes, and didn't answer.
"HELP!! I'M BEING KIDNAPED BY MY BICYCLE!!!" Calvin wailed. "MY LIFE IS FLASHING BEFORE MY EYES!!"
"Calvin," Dad said, looking back behind his shoulder.
Suddenly, Dad hit a rock on the road, causing him to jump.
"WHOA!!" He yelled, as the bicycle flew out of control and into the ditch.
Calvin's bike complied, and followed Dad into the ditch.
CRASH!! K-K-K-K-SSSHHHH!!!
There was a moment of silence, while Calvin and Dad laid in the grass next to their now broken bicycles.
"The bike planned this," Calvin said, finally.
Dad glared at Calvin.
Meanwhile, Hobbes had wandered back up to Calvin's room, where the MTM was apparently waiting.
"Hey, Hobbes," MTM called.
"Yes?" Hobbes asked, picking up a comic book and sitting down.
"Where's Calvin?"
"What? Oh, him and his dad are spending quality time with each other,"
There was a pause.
"Huh," MTM said. "What a pity,"
"Yeah," Hobbes nodded.
"Well, we were supposed to close up that hole in reality, but since he's busy at the moment..."
"Oh, no, he said I should take over that duty," Hobbes said. "He told me you'd know what to do?"
"Hmm? Oh, I suppose I would," MTM said. "Did he tell you the whole story?"
"No, what happened?" Hobbes asking, putting the comic away.
"Well," MTM began. "he was trying to install a special feature into me that would allow me to travel through time into different universes, but it didn't go through splendidly as he tried to splice the time vortex and an interdimensional portal, together. The two forms of energy combined ripped a hole open in time and space."
"A black hole?" Hobbes asked.
"Sort of," MTM explained. "It's not that strong right now and basically it's invisible. Right now it's just slowly eating up light, air and time. That's why he had the window open last night. So we didn't run out of air."
"Why didn't Calvin tell me this?" Hobbes demanded.
"He didn't think you would notice it," MTM replied.
Hobbes' eyes slammed shut.
"Anyway, my sensors indicate that it's getting stronger and stronger, and if we put off closing it up, the whole universe just might get sucked into it." MTM said.
"Okay, you've got my attention," Hobbes said. "Where is it and how do we close it?"
"It's right beside your head," MTM said, calmly.
"YAAAAAUGH!!" Hobbes screamed, flying off the bed and into the closet.
"Oh, quit being such a ninny," MTM said. "You didn't even notice it,"
"THERE WAS A BLACK HOLE NEXT TO MY HEAD AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?!" Hobbes hollered, climbing out of the closet.
"Technically, it's not a black hole, yet," MTM said. "We have until 10:07 tonight until it turns into a black hole.
"All of last night I was sleeping next to a rip in reality?" Hobbes demanded.
"That would be the simple way of putting it, yes," MTM replied.
"Well, thanks for the info, MTM," Hobbes moaned. "I thought I felt my hair standing up, last night,"
"Good, then, now that we know about it, let's try and close it up, shall we?"
"Fine," Hobbes grumbled "What do I do?"
"Well, just hold on a minute," MTM said. "I'm going to fill the room with an dimensional decoder so you can see it,"
The tiny machine began beeping, slowly at first then it started getting faster and faster until it was one long beep. Suddenly, it just stopped.
Hobbes blinked.
FOOOM!!
Suddenly, the air above Calvin's bed tore open, and a bright purple rip about three feet long and seven inches tall appeared in midair. It was glowing bright yellow, and Hobbes could see dandruff and such being sucked inside it.
"There we go," MTM said, sounding like he was nodding.
Hobbes stared at it in shock.
He could see that the space and air around the rip itself were being contracted and sucked into the it.
"Yeah, there we go, MTM. I'm even more terrified than before!" Hobbes groaned.
"Oh, come off it, it's completely harmless," MTM said. "We just have to close it up before ten o'clock or we'll all die, terribly."
"I feel a lot better," Hobbes growled.
"Good, then let's get to work," MTM said.
Hobbes slowly circled the rip in reality.
From the illusion that it created, it appeared to turn along with Hobbes, as he walked over to the MTM.
"Let's begin the experimentation," MTM said, cheerfully.
"WHAT?!?!?" Hobbes screamed, whipping around to the CD player. "You mean you don't know how to close this thing?!?"
"Hold me up to the rip and let me see if I can shut it off with my electric blast," MTM said, ignoring Hobbes' outburst.
Hobbes moaned and picked the MTM up.
He aimed the CD player at the purple hole, turned his head and squeezed his eyes shut.
ZZZZZZZT!!!
A bolt of lightning shot from the MTM's tip and struck the hole.
The yellow energy was absorbed into it, and had no effect.
"Hmmm, that didn't work," MTM said.
Hobbes' eyes rolled into the back of his head.
"Wait, I have another idea," MTM said. "Let me try this."
There was a flash of light, and the manipulator arms extended from the tip of the CD player.
MTM took hold of both ends of the rip, and began pulling them together.
Hobbes' mouth dropped in shock.
"What makes you think this is going to work?!" He cried.
"Just hold on a mo," MTM grunted, trying to close the rip with his mechanical arms.
This went on for several seconds to no avail. Suddenly, the manipulator arms slipped, and green electricity flung itself from the sides of the hole, and throwing Hobbes and the MTM back
ZZZZZT!!!
"ACK!"
The tiger and MTM went flying backwards, and crashed into the wall.
CRASH!!
There was a pause.
"Hmmm, that didn't work, either," MTM considered, thoughtfully.
Hobbes glared at the CD player.
Father Brainstorm looked significantly different from the rest of the Brainstorm family. His hair, instead of standing up in the usual crazy style, was slicked back and was a bright green color. He was a rather skinny man, but wore just about the same attire that Frank wore: lab coat, black shirt underneath, black pants, brown sneakers and green gloves.
He walked into the main lab with a goofy grin plastered all over his face.
"FRANK!!" He shouted, in a somewhat squeaky voice. "It's good to see you!!"
He held out his arms, and ran over to Frank.
"Hi, Dad," Brainstorm grumbled. "I'm glad you could.... OOF!!"
Father Brainstorm immediately slammed into Frank, knocking the wind out of him, embracing him with a giant bear hug.
"Good to see you, too, son!" Mr Brainstorm said, warmly, holding tightly to his son.
Jack stared at Brainstorm's father in shock.
"Wait a minute," He began. "Aren't you going to yell at him for something? Aren't you going to scream at him for never coming to visit you?"
"Why of course not!" Father Brainstorm said, letting go of Frank. "My son's very busy! I know he doesn't have time to come see me when there's a world to take over!"
Jack paused.
"...I see..." He began.
"That must be your robot assistant, Frank!!" Father Brainstorm said, beaming down at Jack. "He looks exactly the way I thought he would look!!"
Jack looked down at his skinny metal body, wondering whether to take that as a compliment or an insult.
"And look at this lab!" Mr Brainstorm gasped, looking around Frank's complicated-looking laboratory. "Wow! When I was your age, we didn't have all this fancy shiny techno-gear! Our servant rays were made out of straw and leather!"
Brainstorm and Jack exchanged glances.
"My little boy is going to take over the world!" Father Brainstorm said, starting to crack as tears welled up in his eyes. "I'm... I'm so proud!"
Brainstorm's father pulled out a handkerchief and wiped his eyes.
"Thanks.... Dad," Frank started. "Hey... what did you do with your hair?"
"Why, what's wrong with it?" Father Brainstorm, asked, feeling the top of his head.
"Well, for one thing it used to be red," Frank replied.
"Oh, right!!" Mr Brainstorm shouted. "I was started to notice it was getting grey, so I dyed it."
There was a pause.
"You dyed your hair green to hide your age?" Jack demanded.
"Yep!" Father Brainstorm said, grinning.
Jack rolled his eyes
It was then that Father Brainstorm noticed what Jack was holding in his hand.
"Hey! Is that the latest issue of Robots Weekly?" He asked, excitedly.
Jack looked down at the magazine in his hands.
"Yes, it is," He said, looking up at Brainstorm's father. "You read it?"
"Are you kidding?! I'm a raging fan of that magazine!!" Father Brainstorm yelled, running over to Jack.
Jack stared at him.
"Why? You're not a robot." He asked.
"I love seeing how machines live!" Father Brainstorm yelled, giddily. "It's my favorite hobby aside from stamp collecting!"
"You collect stamps?" Jack inquired, his eyebrows jumping.
"Well, I admit I do!" Father Brainstorm said, flopping down beside Jack. "But it was Frank who got me started on it!"
"Dad!!" Brainstorm yelled.
"Is that so?" Jack asked, a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. "You collect stamps, Frank?"
"NO, I DON'T!!!" Frank screamed.
"Oh, he's long since given that up to peruse his passion of conquering the Earth!" Mr Brainstorm nodded. "But I decided since I was too old to take over the planet, I'd continue his original collection for him,"
Mr Brainstorm reached into his pocket, and pulled out a green hypercube.
"I brought it with me, Frank! As a present for you!!" He yelled, happily.
"No... No, I don't want it!!" Frank stammered, backing away as if his father was a hungry lion.
"I knew you'd be excited to see it, again! I kept it just the way you left it!" Mr Brainstorm grinned, reaching into the hypercube.
Jack leaned in and watched with great interest.
Mr Brainstorm pulled out a big glass case, that was filled with stamps from different countries. They were all put in alphabetical order.
"Wow, you were quite passionate about this, weren't you Frank?" Jack grinned, looking the case up and down.
"No... I didn't...! Dad!!" Frank wailed.
"I knew you'd be happy to see it, again!" Mr Brainstorm beamed, gleefully. "Here, why don't you put this in your bedroom, and I'll come hang it up in a few minutes!"
"I don't want it hung in my bedroom!" Frank groaned.
"Great! I'll wait here! I have a whole bunch of surprises for you!" Mr Brainstorm handed Frank the glass case.
Brainstorm paused for a minute, groaned, loudly, and trudged off to his bedroom.
Mr Brainstorm and Jack watched him go.
"Isn't he the most adorable little tike you ever laid eyes on?" Mr Brainstorm said, turning to Jack.
Jack stared at him unsurely.
"Uh huh," He said, nodding.
"I remember when he was only ten years old he had a pet rock called 'Harold'!" Mr Brainstorm sighed, thinking back. "It was just the cutest thing ever...."
"He had pet rock?" Jack demanded.
"You bet!" Father Brainstorm grinned. "He took it with him, everywhere! To restaurants, to the bathroom, to school, to his first date...."
"He took a pet rock with him on his first date?" Jack asked, stunned.
"Yeah, and it's too bad," Father Brainstorm said, shaking his head. "One day, we woke up and found that Harold had run away."
Jack stared at Mr Brainstorm for a long moment, trying decide what to make out of that last sentence.
"Tell me about his first date," He said, suddenly, pulling out a can of Pepsi, and grinning.
Dr Brainstorm lugged the giant case with him to his bedroom, groaning.
"I can't believe he brought this thing!" He moaned. "He pulled it out right in front of Jack! He'll never let me live this down!"
He leaned the glass case against the wall in his bedroom and paused.
"On the other hand, it's not that big a deal," He said. "Lots of people have stamp collections! It's nothing to be ashamed over."
He walked out of his room, and started back to the main lab.
"Just as long as Dad doesn't go into too much detail about my childhood, everything will be just fine."
He walked back into the main lab.
"Hey, Dad, I wanted to ask you..." He began.
"....Then she moved in to kiss him and as he saw her puckering up and moving forward, he smiled and she accidentally kissed him on the teeth!" Father Brainstorm told Jack, who currently had the biggest grin Frank had ever seen him wearing in his life.
Frank stared at them for a long moment.
Then his eyes rolled into the back of his head, and he fainted.
THUMP!
Mr Brainstorm and Jack turned and stared at the mad scientist on the floor.
"Look at him," Mr Brainstorm sighed. "He just so happy to see me, he couldn't handle the excitement."
"Yeah, he's like that," Jack nodded, biting down hard on his lip so he didn't laugh.
Meanwhile, Calvin and Dad were in the garage at their house trying to repair their bicycles. Correction: Dad was trying to fix his bicycle. Calvin was trying to survive being killed by his bicycle.
"You know, Calvin, I really think you had it made, since you have over five hundred channels to watch on the TV," Dad said, oiling his tires. "You know how many channels we had when I was your age? Three!"
"I got some oil here," Calvin said, walking around his bicycle, slowly. "You want some oil? I got some nice tasty oil!"
"Rrrrr," The bicycle growled, watching Calvin round it.
"And you know that when the president was on, your night was shot," Dad said.
"Dad, hurry, it's distracted! Get something blunt and hit it over the handlebars!" Calvin shouted.
"Then there's all those new systems out there where they 'child-proof' your house." Dad continued, apparently not listening to Calvin. "You know, putting plastic over the electric sockets and things over the television sets so they didn't fall. We didn't have any of those when I was your age!"
Realizing what Calvin was doing, the bike lunged forward.
"YAAAUGH!!" Calvin screamed as the bike nailed him to the floor. "DAD!! HELP!! IT'S GONNA KILL ME!!!"
"If we wanted to pull the TV on top of our heads or stick a coin in a socket then so be it! Our parents knew we'd learn after a while."
"RRRRGH!! DIE BICYCLE!!" Calvin screamed, taking hold of the handlebars and tossing it over onto its side. "DIE!! DIE!!! DIE!! DIE!!! DIE!! DIE!!! DIE!!!"
"Kids back then didn't watch much TV, anyway," Dad went on. "We listened to the radio. Every night Max and I would sit down in front of the radio and listen to The Adventures of Captain Kangaroo."
"DAD!! GET THE SCREWDRIVER!! I HAVE IT PINNED!! WHOA!! HELP!!"
"RRRRRR!!!"
CRASH!! BANG!! SLASH!!
"Captain Kangaroo was our favorite show," Dad smiled, thinking back. "It was really funny and it gave kids a chance to use their imaginations."
"I'VE FOUND SOME ROPE!!! WE'RE SAVED!!!"
KKKKKKSH!!!! CRASH!! BOOM!! SLAM!! BANG!! BANG!! BANG!!! BANG!!! BANG!!!
"But I think my favorite memory of being a child were the Christmases." Dad sighed. "Max and I would stay up until midnight, waiting for Santa to come and when we woke up in the morning, we would promise ourselves that next year we would see him."
"YOU'LL NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY, AGAIN, YOU RUSTY, OILY, FREAK!!!!"
Dad looked back and admired his bicycle.
"Well, I'd say everything appears to be in working order." He said, looking it up and down. "What do you say we pedal on down to the park?"
He looked over his shoulder.
Calvin was walking back into the garage. He was covered in scratches and oil.
Dad stared at him.
"Calvin, where's your bicycle?" He sighed, heavily.
"Right now, it's trying to explain to Satan how it wasn't able to kill me!" Calvin said, proudly.
Dad rolled his eyes.
Meanwhile, Hobbes and the MTM were still trying to close up the piece of torn reality.
"OK, you sure this will work?" Hobbes asked, staring at the arrangement before him.
MTM had had Hobbes rearrange everything in Calvin's room. The bed was propped against the door, the desk was up against the window, the dresser was right underneath the hole, the toy chest was up against the closet door and there were several comic books and toys which had been carefully around the room.
"Positive," MTM said. "Well, kind of positive. Well... ninety nine percent... ninety eight.... anyway, the theory is if I can concentrate all of the interdimensional energy on this one specific point, the furniture will catch it and it will mix together with interdimensional energy from the rip,"
"Yes," Hobbes nodded.
"The two energies will cancel each other out, and the hole will close itself," MTM said.
"Sounds about right," Hobbes said. "Alright, let's do it!"
Hobbes aimed the MTM at the rip.
SSSSSSSS!!!!
Suddenly a blue fog hissed out of the tip of the MTM.
Upon making contact with the air, the fog condensed into blue electricity and began shooting around the room.
BLAST!!!
It bounced off the toy chest, off the bed, off the window, onto the floor, onto the ceiling, right past Hobbes, against the closet door, and right into the rip.
FOOM!!
The two energies combined together, and the rip began glowing, brightly.
Hobbes' eyes widened.
"I... I think it's working!" He grinned.
RIIIIIIIP!!!
Suddenly, the air around the hole seemed to crack and open up, and the hole became even larger than before.
There was a pause.
"Oh...." MTM said, suddenly. "I forgot to carry the three."
Hobbes didn't move.
"Well, we better get to work on moving everything back," MTM said, cheerfully.
Hobbes' eyes squeezed shut and his teeth gritted.
It took Hobbes thirty minutes to move everything back into place. Fifteen of those minutes were spent arguing with the MTM about where the toy chest was before.
Finally, everything was put back and Hobbes and MTM continued with their problem: The rip was twice as big as it was, before, now.
"Okay, I have another plan," MTM said. "It's a little risky, though."
"Then forget it," Hobbes said.
"No wait, hear me out," MTM said. "If we open up a second hole in reality right next to the first one, then in theory, they'll both implode on each other and close up!"
"How do you know that they won't just connect, and the original hole will get even bigger?" Hobbes demanded.
"Interdimensional energy doesn't work like that, mate," MTM said, as if this was the most obvious thing in the world.
Hobbes paused.
"You think it will work?" He asked.
"It has too," MTM said. "Two interdimensional portals can't exist beside each other. The worst that will happen is that only one hole will implode on itself. So, we really have nothing to lose,"
Hobbes paused.
"Oh... alright. How do we open up a second hole?"
"Alright got the proper equipment lined up," MTM said. "Just use me as if I was a knife, and cut the air in front of the rip."
"Alright, if your sure...." Hobbes sighed.
He held the MTM up in front of the rip, and tore it forward, as if the MTM was a razor.
SLLLLICCEE!!! FOOOM!!
The space that MTM made contact with with tore open, revealing another bright purple rip.
Hobbes and the MTM then stood back and stared.
For a while, nothing happened.
Then, the two rips in reality began trembling slightly, and glowing brighter.
Hobbes and the MTM stared.
FWWOOOOM!!
There was an explosion of color, and suddenly, the second portal and the first mixed together.
For several seconds, the two portals whirled around in circles through the air above the bed, causing the reality around it to become blurred and contracted.
Then it stopped.
The rip was still there. Only now it was a lot bigger and was a perfect circle.
Hobbes and the MTM stared.
"Well, now we know we can change its shape," MTM said, finally. "That's valuable knowledge."
Hobbes glared at the MTM.
"...And this is Frank, Sheila, the Missis and I at the Mount Rushmore." Father Brainstorm said, who was showing Jack a photo album, which Jack was paying close attention to. "I remember that day. Frank and Sheila were arguing about who was going to get which face on the mountain when they took over the world."
"Who won?" Jack inquired.
"Well, Frank was winning but one of the tour guides came up and told him to stop yelling. It scared Frank pretty bad, 'cause he didn't see the guide there and he wet himself," Father Brainstorm said. "It was deemed a tie."
"DAD!!!" Brainstorm screeched. He rushed over to Father Brainstorm and Jack. "I don't think Jack is interested in seeing boring old photos from our vacations!" He said, quickly.
"Oh, yes, I am," Jack said, staring at the photo album with glee.
"NO, you're not!!!" Brainstorm warned.
"Hey, look, here's your tenth grade class photo! Nice braces by the way."
"That isn't me!!" Brainstorm claimed.
"Ah, how cute," Jack cooed. "It says here your nickname at school was 'Bubbles'. I thought you said you were 'The Grudge'."
"I WAS THE GRUDGE!!" Brainstorm declared. "THAT ISN'T ME!!"
"Aw, you loved being called Bubbles!" Father Brainstorm said, looking at the photo. "You would start giggling every time we said it!"
"Look at that, your father has a big T-shirt saying 'Bubbles' proud father'." Jack said, pointing at another picture.
"I still have that shirt!" Father Brainstorm grinned. "It's in my box of Frank's old possessions along with his blanky."
"I NEVER HAD A BLANKY!!" Brainstorm announced.
"Sure you did, son! You had it until you were fourteen!" Father Brainstorm said, looking up at his son with that same goofy grin.
"Daaaaaad!!" Brainstorm wailed.
"Yes, son?" Father Brainstorm asked, looking up.
"Why don't you and Jack..... pause.... from looking at photos right, now," Frank said, slowly. "Didn't you bring anything else that we might..."
"Yeah, actually, I did!" Father Brainstorm said, remembering, reaching into his hypercube. "I brought some home movies!"
Brainstorm's eyes rolled into the back of his head.
Father Brainstorm pulled out a small video tape.
"Here, Jack, why don't you go pop this in the VCR?"
"Love to," Jack grinned, taking the tape, and running over to the console.
Brainstorm began backing away.
"OK, OK. It's gonna be OK," He said, quietly. "Dad leaves in half an hour. I just have to wait a little longer until...."
Suddenly, the doorbell rang out, again.
DING DONG!!!
"JACK, GO GET THE DOOR!!" Brainstorm screamed, frantically, desperate to get the robot away from his father.
"Whatever," Jack said, pushing a button on the console.
There was a cranking noise, signaling the elevator was moving, then the big metal doors opened up.
A tall, skinny figure came walking into the lab.
Brainstorm, Jack and Father Brainstorm stared.
Jacqueline T Robot came strolling into the laboratory, smiling sweetly at the three.
"Hey, Jacqueline." Jack waved at his cousin.
"Hey, boys, what's up?" She asked.
"JACQUELINE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!?!" Brainstorm shrieked, insanely.
"Oh, sorry, Frank, didn't I mention?" Father Brainstorm asked. "I invited your Mother, Sheila and Jacqueline over so we could all have dinner, together!"
"WHAT?!?!"
"Yeah, I just teleported here, early, because Mrs Brainstorm insisted that they drive here, and they were starting to run out of gas," Jacqueline said.
"Well, Jackie, your just in time," Jack said, sitting back down next to Father Brainstorm. "Mr Brainstorm and I were just about to sit down and watch some home movies about Frank and Sheila."
"Oooh, fun!" She grinned, jogging over to the couch.
Brainstorm opened his mouth to protest, but instead he just gargled, slightly.
"Frank, your asthma's not acting up, again, is it?" Father Brainstorm asked, as Jacqueline sat down next to Jack. "Do you need your rescue inhaler?"
"NO, I DON'T NEED MY RESCUE INHALER!!!" Brainstorm shrieked.
"Alright, well, why don't you sit down and watch these movies with us? It'll bring back memories!"
Suddenly, the video started.
All eyes went to the screen.
It was of a twelve-year old Frank Brainstorm sitting in the bathtub with a small toy boat, singing 'Three Blind Mice'.
"I remember this day!" Father Brainstorm yelled, happily. "This was only a couple weeks after you dropped that bead down your ear and we needed to go to the doctor to get it out!"
Jack and Jacqueline exchanged glances.
Brainstorm's left eye began twitching, involuntarily.
Father Brainstorm and the two robots continued watching the home movies roll by one after another. Each one even more embarrassing than the last.
By this time, Dr Brainstorm had snuck out of the main lab, and was looking for some form of shelter.
He grabbed his helmet and goggles and climbed into his rocket.
"I have got to get out of here..." He growled, revving the engine up.
VRROOOOM!!
The giant bay doors in front of the rocket opened up and the engine began roaring.
The rocket lifted off the landing pad, and flew off out of the lab.
Above the ground, a tour guide was leading a group of kids past Old Faithful.
"And here is our most popular attraction at Yellowstone, Old Faithful," he said, pointing at the geyser. "Now, who here as ever seen Old Faithful go off?"
Several kids raised their hands.
"Who here has actually been here when Old Faithful went off?"
All hands went down.
Uh huh.
"Well, that's about change, because our scientists predict that the geyser is about to go off at any moment, now!"
The kids all started talking, excitedly.
"Lets just wait a minute and...." The tour guide turned and stared at the geyser.
FOOOM!!!
Suddenly, a bright red rocket exploded from the geyser, flying straight upwards into the air.
The tour guide and the kids watched.
"Ignore that, that happened all the time," The guide said, turning to the kids, and then back to the geyser.
They waited a moment, then suddenly, a little bit of water began gushing out from it, then spewed several hundred feet into the air.
"Whooooooahh!! The kids all yelled, amazed at the geyser.
The tour guide nodded with satisfaction.
"Another successful tour," He thought to himself.
Right.
Calvin was grumbling in the garage. He'd had to pull his bike out of the tree he'd managed to throw it in, but he'd managed to talk Dad into putting a bike lock on it so it couldn't attack again. He glared at the bike, which thrashed and growled as it tried to escape the chain it was stuck in.
Calvin stuck his tongue out at it before resuming his grumbling.
Dad approached him after coming back from the kitchen.
"Calvin…?" he asked.
Calvin just glared straight ahead.
"Calvin, I get this feeling that you're not enjoying our bike-riding," Dad continued.
"Very astute of you, Dad," Calvin snorted. "What tipped you off? The way the bike is possessed, or the fact that I'm covered in scratches and bruises."
Dad sighed. "Well, if you don't want ride bikes, we don't have to anymore."
Calvin looked up. "Really?" he asked hopefully.
"Sure. I bet I can think of something even more fun to do!"
A skeptical look slid across Calvin's features. "Such as…?" he asked.
"Well, we could always go fishing!" Dad said, grinning madly.
Calvin looked at him.
"Fishing…?" he asked slowly, his eyes growing wide with horror.
"Sure! We can rent a canoe down by the lake where we usually go camping, and then we can really enjoy some father / son activity!"
"…Fishing?" Calvin asked again.
"Yep! Come on! Let's get going!"
Dad grabbed Calvin's arm and started dragging him to the car.
Calvin gulped nervously at the idea of fishing, but when he looked back over his shoulder, he saw his bicycle thrashing and bucking in the garage. Calvin wasn't sure, but he was sure that from the way the pedals were squeaking, it was a Morse code message of death.
Dad plopped Calvin down in the backseat, and then he sat down in the driver's seat. The car backed out of the driveway, and they set off.
"We're really doing this?" Calvin asked. "You're serious?"
"Of course!" Dad replied cheerfully.
"You want me to go fishing with you?"
"That's right!"
"…in a boat…on a lake…on a Saturday…during my free time…," Calvin stopped and thought, "Odd."
"What is?" Dad asked.
"Dante's Inferno listed Seven Levels of Hell. That's only four."
Dad rolled his eyes.
Hobbes and MTM stood before the rip in reality. They were watching as little bits of matter were sucked inside of it.
"Okay, let's recap," Hobbes decided.
"Right," MTM replied.
"We tried blasting it with electricity, and that didn't work."
"Check."
"We tried your manipulator arms, and that didn't work."
"Check."
"We bounced interdimensional energy off the furniture, and that didn't work."
"Check."
"We tried making a second hole, and that didn't work."
"Check."
There was a pause.
"Well, I can find only one more alternative," Hobbes said at last.
"What's that?"
"We chuck you at it and see what happens."
"That won't do anything but destroy me!" MTM objected.
"True, but at least I'd get to die with intense satisfaction."
"Now hold on, there are a few other options we haven't tried yet."
"Such as…?" Hobbes asked, already going into the wind up.
"Well, we could always try moving it."
Just as Hobbes was going into the pitch, he halted with eyes wide and staring at MTM, who had almost slid out of his fingers.
"Can we do that?" he asked.
"It's worth a shot."
"But what would that accomplish?"
"We could take it to some far region of the galaxy where it wouldn't bother anyone."
Hobbes thought about that option.
"Well, it's probably not the most orthodox way out we can use, but I suppose it's worth a shot," he decided at last.
MTM immediately extended his manipulator arms and once again gripped both sides of the rip.
"Okay, let's try moving it."
Hobbes, still holding MTM, started walking around the room. But rather than move, the hole stretched.
"I don't think it's working," Hobbes said, furrowing his brow.
"We just need to try a little harder," MTM insisted. "Try going out the door with it."
Hobbes began pulling MTM, who was in turn trying to pull the rip along with them. Hobbes left the bedroom, went through the hall, down the stairs and was soon heading out the door.
As he was running down the front walk, he looked back, and the sight caused him to skid to a halt.
The rip was now stretched all the way out of the house.
Hobbes stared at the rip as several small objects that were within reach were sucked inside of it. Then he averted his gaze towards the MTM, who was right now retracting his manipulators.
"Hmmm…," he said. "Odd, that is."
Hobbes squeezed his eyes shut in annoyance.
Calvin grumbled as he exited the car.
Dad led him over towards the shack.
They found the clerk at the booth was sound asleep in his chair with his straw hat tipped over his eyes.
"Excuse me," Dad said.
The clerk didn't answer.
Calvin thought there was something strikingly familiar about him.
"Excuse me," Dad repeated. "Hello?" He pounded on the counter lightly with his fist.
The clerk finally stirred and slowly raised his hat.
Calvin's eyes burst open.
"KLEIN?!" he cried.
"Calvin, don't be rude," Dad said sternly.
Klein looked around and saw them.
"Oh, hey, kid. Calvin, right?" he asked.
"Have we already met?" Calvin asked. "Which Klein are you?"
"Calvin, manners!" Dad hissed.
"I'm the one who worked at the movie theater," Klein replied.
"What was wrong with the theater?"
"Oh please! As if I'd spend my entire life working in a movie theater! That place reeked of high cholesterol!"
"Yeah, see your point."
"Excuse me!" Dad interrupted. "Mr Klein, yes?"
"Yee-ah. What can I do for ya?" Klein asked, looking at him lazily.
"We'd like to rent a canoe."
"For…?"
"We're going fishing."
Klein stared at him.
"Sir, have you not been fishing?" he asked.
"Of course I have!"
"Then you're aware that you will, in fact, have to bait the hook, gut the fish and fight of boredom."
"Ah, the remaining three levels reveal themselves," Calvin said.
Dad rolled his eyes. "How much for a canoe?" he asked, fishing his wallet out of his back pocket.
"Well, normally they're fifty bucks, but seeing as how you're our first customer in roughly…," he checked his watch, "…three months, I'll take half off. Twenty-five bucks will do."
Dad nodded and handed him the money.
"And you'll get your rods and tackle box for free," Klein added, handing him the poles and boxes.
Calvin staggered as Dad absentmindedly handed him everything.
"How can you afford to do that?" Dad asked.
"Meh. We're practically bankrupt as it is," Klein said, shrugging.
Dad looked confused, but Calvin just nodded knowingly.
Klein helped them get the canoe out of the storage room. The canoes and paddles were all covered in cobwebs and dust.
"Doesn't anyone enjoy fishing anymore?" Dad demanded.
"Meh. We get too many activists who are against people fishing," Klein said. "They believe it's more holy to eat meat that's been bludgeoned to death by somebody else. The irony isn't lost on me."
Dad rolled his eyes. "People just don't enjoy working for themselves anymore."
"You think that's weird? Have you ever been to New York? I've seen people fishing in the Harpeth River!"
"Seriously?!" Calvin demanded.
"Yup! Now that is patience. Now let's suppose he did catch something in that murky water," Klein continued. "Can you imagine the monster fish that's gotta be? One of those tough New York fish?"
Calvin smirked while Dad raised an eyebrow.
"He'll come out of the water and, 'Hey, get that hook outta my mouth, you idiot! What, ya think that tickles, you moron?! Gimme that bait! Yeah, four years dodging tugboats, and I'm gonna fall for that hook, you roob?!'"
Calvin was laughing while Dad rolled his eyes.
Klein helped them get the canoe into the water.
"Okay, let's shove off!" Dad said enthusiastically.
"You shove off!" Calvin and Klein said together, both offended.
Dad sighed, exasperated, and he and Calvin got into the canoe and set off for the middle of the lake.
Klein watched them go, and he sighed. "Oh, this'll be fun," he muttered.
Back in Yellowstone, Father Brainstorm was sitting on the couch with Jack and Jacqueline. They were all watching the last of the home movies.
"Oh, and there's little Frankie trying to climb up the monkey bars at the playground near our house!" he was saying. "He was pretending to be a pioneer. He saw it in a movie."
"Oh, how sweet!" Jacqueline said cheerfully.
"…Yeah," Jack said, squinting at the video.
There was a pause as they observed the young boy on the screen.
Finally, something relatively exciting happened.
"Ooh, that had to embarrassing," Jack said, suppressing a snicker.
"Was he okay afterwards?" Jacqueline asked.
"Oh sure," Father Brainstorm said assuredly. "He just locked himself in his room for a few days until he finally got bored."
"Very fashionable, though," Jack said. "I wasn't aware that kids could wear that kind of underwear."
"Yes, young Franklin did have his mishaps," Father Brainstorm said wistfully. "Still, he's made me proud! He's always been the scholar in the family."
"Scholar?!" Jack asked, trying not to sound too surprised.
"Oh, definitely! He went through all his grade levels once and only once, graduated from high school, and when he walked down the aisle to get his diploma, he only tripped once or twice! Then there was college. He would always write home, letting us know about how things were going and what his rivals were up to."
"Yeah, Dr Thunderstorm," Jack said. "I remember that freak."
"Oh yes, yet another mark of pride! Our young mad scientist was already finding his adversaries! We were so impressed. When I was his age, I had to wait until my first job until I could find someone to do battle with."
Jack nodded.
Jacqueline checked her watch. "Sheila and Mother Brainstorm should be here in a few hours. We should probably get started on dinner."
"Quite right!" Father Brainstorm said. "We'll have to prepare double rations. Some for the family and some for the Missus. She's a wonderful woman, but she does tend to hold her own when it comes to mealtime."
Jack rolled his eyes.
As Father Brainstorm and Jacqueline went to the kitchen, Jack went to get Dr Brainstorm.
"Hey, Frank?" he called into the bedroom.
There was a pause.
Jack frowned. No sign of an exasperated and frustrated correction. It could only mean he wasn't there.
Calvin and Dad were sitting in the canoe, back-to-back, fishing rods in the lake.
"Well, Calvin, here we are!" Dad said happily. "Out among the elements!"
Calvin didn't respond. He was off in his own little world.
"Just us with the fresh air and the tranquility! No demands, no phone, no pressure… The whole day is one's own! Isn't this great? Isn't this the life?"
Calvin continued to stare blankly.
From within his mind, his fishing rod disappeared from his hands, and it was replaced with a blaster. The blue ocean surrounding him changed colors to a dark orange color. The boat suddenly rose several miles into the air and became a giant floating globular craft with a small balcony for him to stand on. A guard rail ran around it. The sky turned black. The forest melted away from view.
Dad, who was continually nattering away about nothing, suddenly began to change. His eyes shifted together, becoming one, and then it grew larger and bulged outwards, suddenly sprouting outwards on a stalk like a flower. His skinny frame suddenly began to shift into a round form. His skin turned a scaly green color. His hair retracted into his scalp. His feet became tentacles. He grew a third arm out of his back. His fishing rod became a whip. His teeth became jagged.
The alien sat there on a stool, sighing contentedly and saying, "Ahhh… What a day!"
"The gallant Spaceman Spiff, now prisoner of the Mocks, prepares his daring escape," Calvin's voice narrated. "In secret, he has inserted sedatives into his warden's drink. Within minutes, he's drowsier than a high school student in a seventh bell algebra class."
The alien guard continued talking. "I tell ya, its days like this that make you really realize what really matters in life…yawn… Just a father and his son…yawn…enjoying the…the sun and the…and the gentle lulling breeze…Zzzz…snort…and hoping……to…to…zzzzzzzzzz……"
A brief switch to reality saw that Dad had dozed off.
Spiff quietly got up and slid down the side of the ship. He landed in his waiting spacecraft.
Calvin pulled the cardboard box out of his hypercube and hopped into it.
Spiff started the craft up.
Calvin managed to start up the box.
Spiff's craft splashed water as it roared noisily into the sky.
Calvin's box splattered water as it flew back towards the shore.
"Our hero makes a mighty escape!" Calvin's voice announced over Spiff's actions. "He hastily departs."
Spiff flew his craft through the sky towards the shoreline and secretly parked it in the bushes. He jumped from it quietly and started to sneak around through the shrubbery.
"Our hero sneaks stealthily through the alien landscape," he said in a hushed tone. "Who knows what kinds of alien oddities he shall find? Three-eyed man-eaters? Hideously deformed ducks? Maybe even…"
He trailed off as fantasy world faded away and was replaced with reality.
Calvin stared.
"…Frank?!" he cried.
Dr Brainstorm looked up in surprise.
"Hey!" he shouted. "Get away! Did my father send you?"
Calvin stared at him. "…What?" he asked.
"He did, didn't he?! He just can't let me have a moment's peace! He's always bombarding me with affection and embarrassment! I'm trying to be a man, and he has the absolute nerve to show up and ruin it all!"
"What are you talking about?!" Calvin demanded, growing annoyed.
"My dad came to visit…," Brainstorm mumbled angrily.
Calvin's eyes burst open.
"Ooh," he muttered. "I can only imagine what he's like!"
"He's a doting embarrassment. He's always telling stories about me to everyone, and he was just humiliating me in front of Jack!"
Calvin paused.
"Oh," he said. "Then again, maybe I can't."
"What's that supposed to mean?!"
"Well, the more I learn about your family, the more I started to think they were all hollering drill sergeants."
Brainstorm rolled his eyes.
"I can't believe he would do this to me!" he muttered. "The nerve of him showing up and showering me with love! The jerk…"
"You think you've got it bad?" Calvin demanded. "I'm down here with you right now so I can avoid a fishing trip with my dad."
"Seriously?"
"Yeah! He's out there on a lake right now, fast asleep! And as if that wasn't enough, he took me bike-riding earlier today!"
"What's so bad about that?"
"Have you never ridden an evil bicycle?!"
Brainstorm just looked confused, but Calvin simply pouted in the bushes.
"What is it with most dads?" Calvin demanded. "Why are they so insistent on being like this?!"
"It's because they love you," a voice said.
Calvin and Dr Brainstorm both jumped and stared at the source of the voice.
It was Klein. He'd found them behind the bushes.
"…What?" Calvin.
"Who the heck are you?!" Dr Brainstorm demanded. "What are you doing?! I DON'T APPRECIATE SPIES!!"
Klein rolled his eyes.
"Your dads are close because they care about you. They want to see you get the best," he said. "You may not appreciate it now, but one day, you'll be without them for good. Lots of kids don't have fathers like yours. Some dads can be real jerks, and some are never around. You've got to enjoy them and the good relationships you have with them, because one day, you may never have them with you again."
It was a sobering thought for Calvin and Dr Brainstorm to process.
The very idea of being without a family member made them uneasy, and it was something they didn't want to think about.
"Gee, thanks for the info," Calvin said, trying to stay sarcastic, but finding it very difficult.
"Sure," Klein said, smirking, and he left for the shack again.
There was a silence as Calvin and Dr Brainstorm considered this.
"Okay, who was that?!" Dr Brainstorm demanded.
Calvin glared at him. "Please tell me you got the seriousness in that message?" he grunted.
"Oh, sure, I got that bit! WHO WAS IT THAT TOLD IT TO ME?!"
Calvin sighed. "Look, I don't have time for this. I've gotta get back to the canoe before Dad notices I'm gone."
"Yeah, whatever," Dr Brainstorm grumbled, getting up and heading back to how rocket.
Calvin crawled back to the box, and he got back in it, heading back for the canoe.
Minutes later, Calvin found his dad was sound asleep in the canoe, and he was still clutching his fishing rod.
Calvin watched him for awhile before deciding it was time he did something nice for his dad. He pulled out the Transmogrifier gun and took some of the lures out of the tackle box. He dropped them in the water and zapped them with the Transmogrifier.
They were transformed into six fish.
Calvin pointed at Dad, and the fish started to swim towards the fishing lure of Dad's that was bobbing up and down in the water.
Calvin waited until there was a tug at the line.
Dad snorted from his sleep and looked around in a daze.
"Wha…What?! What's going on?!" he cried.
"Dad! You've got a fish!" Calvin cried excitedly.
Dad stared at his line.
"Whoa! Hey! I've got it! I've got it! Okay, let's reel this baby in!"
And Dad began to real a fish up as Calvin grinned knowingly behind him.
At Yellowstone, the doorbell at Dr B's lab rang out.
"Ooh! They're here!" Jacqueline said as she looked up from the cake she'd baked.
"Wonderful!" Father Brainstorm said cheerfully. "Jack, be a dear and get the door, will you?"
Jack sighed and got up from his chair; somewhat hoping it was Dr Brainstorm. The lesser of two evils, he decided.
When he opened the door, he winced.
"JACQUELINE!" Sheila shouted. "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!?"
"Jack," Jack muttered. "My name is Jack."
"WHATEVER! JACQUELINE!! GET OVER HERE!!"
And she pushed past Jack to find her own robot.
Jack glanced at Mother Brainstorm.
"Hey, Mrs. B," he sighed.
"GOOD EVENING JACK!!" Mother Brainstorm hollered.
"How was the drive?"
"I'VE HAD BETTER!"
"You ready for dinner?"
"I'M FAMISHED!"
"I'm sure you are. Go on to the kitchen. You should remember the way."
"I SHALL!"
And she lumbered past.
Jack sighed. "Frank, where are you…?" he muttered, rubbing his temples.
"DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!! And I'm right here."
Jack's head came up and saw the goofy and somewhat evil form of Dr Frank Brainstorm standing before him in the doorway.
"Where've you been?!" Jack demanded.
"On a journey of self-discovery," Dr Brainstorm sighed solemnly. "Where's Dad?"
"Kitchen," Jack sighed. "Along with the rest of the Brainstorm clan."
"Oof. This might be harder than I thought."
And he entered the lab, letting Jack close the door.
Dr Brainstorm found his family waiting for him in the kitchen.
"Ah, son!" Father Brainstorm grinned. "There you are! Ready for dinner?"
Dr Brainstorm looked at his father for a long moment, contemplating what Klein had said.
"Yeah, Dad, I'm ready," he said, managing a tired grin.
"Good. Let's eat!"
Mother Brainstorm sat at the head of the table, piling mountains of her own food onto her plate. Father Brainstorm sat next to her, with Frank Brainstorm at his side. Sheila sat at the other end of the table while Jack and Jacqueline sat at the other side.
"So!" Father Brainstorm said. "Who's up for a story?"
Dr Brainstorm tried hard not to look too distressed.
Jack picked up on it, however, and saved him. "Well, you've spent the day talking about Frank," he said. "How about we hear about Sheila for a while?"
"Ooh, I agree!" Jacqueline said cheerfully.
"Jacqueline…," Sheila hissed, suddenly looking very distressed.
"Good idea," Father Brainstorm grinned. "I recall one of her little moments in 2nd Grade!"
"Dad…," Sheila moaned.
"What happened?" Jack asked.
"She had to be held back," Father Brainstorm said.
Everyone half-expected Mother Brainstorm to yell something disapproving, but she was too busy shoveling food into her mouth.
"How'd that happen?" Jacqueline asked.
"Well, it all started when they were learning cursive. Now, you probably already know what a defiant little scamp Sheila can be sometimes," Father Brainstorm said.
"Ooh, definitely."
"Well, she started to organize a protest group against cursive handwriting…"
"It would've worked if those jerks hadn't have called it stupid!" Sheila complained.
"DON'T INTERRUPT YOUR FATHER!!" Mother Brainstorm shouted.
Dr Brainstorm grinned, happily entertained.
Hobbes and MTM were now hiding in the bushes. It was getting late, and it was coming up on 10:07.
"Only a minute left," MTM announced.
Hobbes watched the rip get larger and more powerful. "Do you think Calvin will get mad?" he asked nervously.
"Probably, but I imagine we'll be in the void long before he can yell at us."
"I suppose that's alright."
There was a sudden surge of energy, and lightning flashed.
"Here we go," MTM said. "It's turning into a black hole!"
"MTM," Hobbes said quickly. "I know in the past you and I haven't seen eye-to-eye…but I just want you to know now…"
"…Yes…?"
"You're about twenty per cent less annoying than I usually say you are."
"Thanks, Hobbes. You too."
And the time was up.
Hobbes and MTM watched as the tear began to slowly expand into a black hole…
…before it suddenly retracted into itself and strangely imploded, disappearing.
They stared at the spot where it had been for a long throbbing moment.
"Well…," MTM said. "That was anti-climactic."
"What happened?" Hobbes asked.
"It closed up by itself."
"Oh."
There was a long pause.
Just then, a car drove up the drive and parked in the garage. Calvin and Dad emerged moments later, both walking triumphantly up the walk and into the house.
Calvin stopped to talk to them.
"Hey guys!" he said. "How'd it go with the rip?"
There was a pause.
"Oh, it went alright. We handled it," Hobbes said at last.
"Yeah, all taken care of," MTM said.
"Really?" Calvin asked. "No trouble?"
"Oh no," Hobbes said.
"Easy peasy," said MTM.
"Okay, cool. See you upstairs." And he left.
Hobbes and MTM stared at each other.
"…We shall never speak of this again," Hobbes decided.
"Right."
Calvin and Dad entered the kitchen where Mom was waiting.
"We're back!" Dad said triumphantly.
"Hey! How was the fishing?" Mom asked, looking up from her book.
Dad held up the bucket full of fish.
"Six—count 'em—SIX largemouth bass!" he grinned.
"Expertly filleted by me," Calvin added modestly.
Mom stared at him. "You?!" she asked, stunned.
"Him, indeed," Dad added.
"Where did you learn to do that?"
"Biology," Calvin replied. "Nobody dissects as many frogs as I have without coming away with something."
"Well, good job, boys," Mom said.
"Yeah, nice job, Calvin," Dad added. "This has been a great day."
"Yeah," Calvin sighed. "I guess it has. Thanks, Dad."
And breaking character for only the briefest of moments, he hugged his dad before going up to his room.
Dad grinned, satisfied.
Calvin and Hobbes sat in their room reading comic books with MTM.
"So how was Father / Son Day?" Hobbes asked.
"You know?" Calvin asked. "It wasn't so bad after all."
"Really?" Hobbes asked. "Did you spend it with someone else's dad?"
"Hobbes, come on," Calvin sighed. "Dad's not that bad."
"Not that bad?! We are talking about the same man, aren't we?! The Character Builder? The Camper with Legs?"
"Hobbes, knock it off. He's my dad, and he's my only dad, and he's gotta last me for a while!"
Hobbes grinned and looked back at his comic book.
"Oh, weirdly enough, I ran into Dr Brainstorm. Apparently his dad came to visit today!"
"Really?!" Hobbes asked, looking up again.
"Yup! Mother and Father Brainstorm!"
"Ooh!" MTM spoke up. "That reminds me of a joke! A nun and a priest walk into a pub…"
Calvin and Hobbes rolled their eyes.
Back at Yellowstone, the Brainstorm clan was resting and, for once, not shouting at each other.
Mother Brainstorm was in a recliner, sleeping soundly as her bulging stomach struggled to digest the onslaught she'd called dinner.
Sheila was sitting in a corner, trying to destroy her own home videos and failing miserably.
Jack and Jacqueline were in recliners, drinking lemonade and watching TV.
And at a folding table, Father Brainstorm and Dr B were enjoying a nice game of Go Fish.
The End
Voice Work:
Pamela Segall Adlon: Calvin
Tom Hanks: Hobbes
Neil Crone: Dr Brainstorm
Michael Brandon: Jack
Norman Lovett: MTM
Robert Klein: Klein
Jason Lee: Father Brainstorm
Bridget Nelson: Sheila Brainstorm
Mary Jo Pehl: Mother Brainstorm
AnnaSophia Robb: Jacqueline
Coming Up Next: Surge
