A/N - So I guess I never explained my story since a reviewer didn't think Charles would snap and lash out. I really believe even someone like Charles Xavier has his breaking point. He was left paralyzed from friendly fire, his friend and brother abandoned him and his adopted sister left him. In that span of a day he lost everything. Yes, I believe someone like Charles could snap and lash out. I do appreciate the review, my dear guest, and please don't think I'm bashing you. I think it's the great thing about fanfiction, we can interpret things our own way. So thank you so much for your review!
One month. It had been one month since that day in Cuba. One month since his world had shattered and changed how he thought, acted, felt, even how he spoke.
Charles wheeled himself outside, as far away from the mansion as he could. He would forever be indebted to Hank, Sean and Alex for staying with him. They had been so caring, helping Charles as much as he would allow them. They never infringed on his privacy or independence. They even supported Charles' decision to wipe Moira's memories of her time with the mutants for her safety and theirs, even though they all knew how much this would hurt the young telepath.
He let out a shaky breath as he made his way around to the back, knowing he would be alone for a time, before the others came looking for him.
Ever since leaving the hospital two weeks prior, Charles had difficulty keeping his pain under control. It wasn't just his physical pain either; his mental and emotional state had been a mess since his encounter with Erik at the hospital. Combining those together and most days Charles was a wreck.
Too many memories resided along with the living in that house. It haunted him to go by her room. Even his study held too many reminders of her; her laying on the couch curled up with a book while he studied, the two of them playing chess, and even just them on the couch, each in their own world but very much a comfort to the other. Many times the others found him staring off into space in his room, tears falling unbidden as memories and emotions flooded over the injured man.
Charles maneuvered the wheelchair from the driveway to the walking path, heading for the pond out back. It had always been a place of peaceful solitude for him, where he could think or, in some cases, not think.
He knew if he was given the chance, he would forgive Erik and Raven for Cuba. But it still hurt to think that they put themselves over him when he had tried to be a good friend and brother to both. On one hand, Charles knew he was being selfish, but on the other hand he had his life shattered the most by the mess that was Cuba.
He pushed harder, his heart so conflicted with emotion. He just wanted her back, the Raven he knew. But Charles knew this would never happen; she had changed so much, especially after Erik had joined them. He would never have the innocent young girl he loved like a sister and had tried fiercely to protect.
Charles stopped his wheelchair dead in its tracks, a lone figure sitting by the waters edge capturing his attention, a lone figure he never expected to see again so soon.
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Erik was sitting on the bank of the pond, staring at the water as he absently twirled two metal spheres in his hand, letting them roll around his palm. He had no clue why he was here; Charles had made himself known that day at the hospital.
But he was drawn back to this house, to the friendship and comradery he had before Cuba with Charles. It was something missing, a lonesome feeling that he couldn't explain, even to Raven. The two had talked just the previous night but she couldn't understand the melancholy mood he found himself in.
Erik knew he wanted to make things right between Charles and himself, well, as right as he could make it. Finding out that if they stayed, had helped Charles rather than run away, most likely he wouldn't have become paralyzed. The guilt of that truth washed over him, ebbing away at the tough exterior he had erected so many years ago. Some how, some way, Charles had started to break through.
He was so deep in thought that he never heard the squeak of the wheels as the spheres clicked together above his hand.
"Erik? Why are you here?"
Erik jumped at the soft voice, the metal orbs falling to the grass harmlessly as he turned around to face the questioner. He didn't think Charles would find him so quickly, or even at all.
Charles had locked his wheelchair into place and was looking at Erik with genuine questioning in his eyes. The two man locked eyes for the briefest of moments before Erik glanced away. He stood, brushing the grass off his pants as he tentatively made his way over to Charles. He kept his gaze lowered, the guilt of what happened wrapping around him, suffocating him almost, as he stood in front of the young telepath.
"I guess it's because, well, I don't like how I left things between us at the hospital and what happened in Cuba." He glanced down to Charles before looking away again. "And I miss you, my friend."
Charles was taken aback by the honesty his friend was conveying to him. Erik had been reserved ever since they met; this was a different side of the metal bending mutant that he just wasn't used to seeing. He swallowed his own pride as he said, "I'm sorry I was so harsh with you my friend, at the hospital. I didn't mean to be."
Erik sat down next to the wheelchair as looked out to the pond before replying, "You had every right to Charles. We...I was so selfish. I couldn't see past my own anger to see that you needed me. And I left. I left you behind when you needed me the most."
Charles looked out to the pond thoughtfully before saying, "When you left us in Cuba, you made it clear your agenda was different than ours." Charles looked down to his friend, knowing that there was still good in the man. "But you came to the hospital. You put your plans aside to come check on me. For that, I will be eternally grateful."
Erik's head shot up, looking over incredulously to the telepath. "You're grateful?"
Charles placed a hand on the metal bending mutant's shoulder. "Yes, I am. Even though I was angry with you, you cared enough to come back. You showed compassion, something you hadn't been able to show in a long time. And for that I am grateful."
The two fell into a comfortable silence, each lost in their own thoughts. Erik, for his part, was still grappling with the guilt of Charles' injury and the fact that the telepath had been so forgiving.
Charles' thoughts had been turned to Raven yet again, still unable to feel his sister. He knew in his heart that moving on would be for the best, especially for him. If he continued to dwell on it, it would consume him more then it had already and would make him into the man he didn't want to become.
It wasn't long before he could feel the thoughts of Hank, the young mutant clearly speaking to him mentally. Where are you Charles? We know you're outside because we didn't find you in the mansion. Are you ok?
He responded by saying, I'm out by the pond. Yes I'm quite alright Hank, thank you for asking. You all can come on down here. I'll wait.
After getting confirmation from Hank, Charles looked down to his friend. "I don't know if you want to stay or not, but Hank, Alex and Sean are on their way down here. They'll be here any moment. They've stayed on to help establish the school and have been very good about letting me have privacy. But if I stay gone too long, they send out the dogs, so to speak."
Erik stood once again, facing Charles. "I'd rather not be here when they come. Maybe another day. For now, I'll take my leave." He gave a Charles a small smile laced with sadness before turning to walk away.
Charles caught the metal controlling mutant's arm, stopping his momentum for a moment. "Erik, you and Raven and the others are always welcome here. I know we fought against them, but Angel, Azazel, Emma and Riptide are our brothers and sisters too. You never have to hide from us."
Erik looked down, not saying a word but only nodding as he once again took his leave, this time nothing stopping him.
Charles watched Erik leave, the mutant disappearing into the woods. He knew that his offer would never be redeemed, that this was probably the last time he would see his friend and most likely would never see Raven again either. A stray tear fell as he heard Hank, Alex and Sean bantering as they neared him. He was going to miss them, but he had a new future to look forward to. He would have to move past being left behind.
