Chapter Two: What Business Partners Do

They could've easily flown back home from the Great Hall, but Hiccup and Toothless had exhausted their love of flying for the day. Besides, it gave Hiccup a chance to inspect the village, see if any problems had sprouted up while he was gone. He was pleased to see that nothing was on fire that shouldn't be on fire – the village had suffered his absence in peace. Now if he could just get back home…

Yet another unwary traveler almost plowed headlong into Hiccup, coming from between a pair of homes and looking more over his shoulder than in front of him. This traveler Hiccup recognized immediately, much to his regret.

"Oh, it's you, fearless leader," said Snotlout, doing little to hide his irritation. "Finally getting home after doing… whatever you do."

"And I see you're wandering around tonight for some reason," replied Hiccup. "Anything I need to know?"

"No, just out for the night air," said Snotlout. "Trying to relax after a hard day of patrolling the skies above Berk. You know, that thing you don't do anymore."

Hiccup had come to realize that as much as things could change rapidly and dramatically, there really were some things in life that refused to ever change, his relationship with Snotlout being a prime example. Even Hiccup becoming chief hadn't convinced the obnoxious Viking to grant Hiccup much respect. Hiccup assumed it had to do with Astrid, considering how pleased Snotlout had been to find out Astrid was still alive after the War of the Alchemist, and how angry he'd been to find out the Hiccup and Astrid had also gotten married. He was the only sour face in the crowd during their "official" wedding in Berk, and for a time Hiccup thought Snotlout might decide to leave Berk altogether, take his Monstrous Nightmare and seek his fortune elsewhere. But Snotlout eventually settled back into his old role as the perpetual, though mostly tolerable, thorn in Hiccup's side.

"Right," said Hiccup. "Well, don't let me get in your way then." He and Toothless went around Snotlout and made a beeline for home, hoping that Snotlout was the worst thing that happened tonight. Hiccup swore he heard Snotlout say something under his breath, and it sounded a lot like you've always been in my way, but Hiccup was too tired to bother following up on it. Besides, that would mean staying in Snotlout's company longer.

Home was right around the corner, the same cottage that Hiccup had lived in since infancy and which now belonged to him and Astrid. Post-wedding, Hiccup and Astrid had stayed in a vacant cabin whose condition danced on the line between fixer-upper and condemnable. But it was either that or live with their parents. They managed to get the house shipshape again over time, but when Stoick passed away his home automatically went to Hiccup, and Hiccup found he couldn't part with it. So they moved back in and gave their old home to the Twins… who promptly made the house condemnable again.

Right now, the old cabin looked right pleasing… or would have if there had been signs of habitation. No light coming from the windows, though, and no smoke curling out of the chimney. He was sure Astrid was supposed to be home tonight, no long patrols or missions outside Berk. Maybe she was at a friend's home and had lost track of time.

There was a squawk from the nearby dragon-house, the distinctive call of a friendly Nadder. Beatrix was resting at ease, alerted by Hiccup and Toothless's approach. Hiccup came over and gave her a quick pat, noticing that her saddle was off. Astrid had obviously come home and parked Beatrix for the night, but where was she now? She never left Beatrix by herself. Toothless didn't seem too concerned about the matter, which meant his sensitive ears hadn't pick up on any signs of trouble. But the absence of trouble didn't mean something wasn't wrong, and Hiccup found his anxiety rising.

"Toothless, stay here and keep an eye out for Astrid," Hiccup ordered, moving to the back of the cabin. "I'll check things out."

Toothless obediently sat by the front door and watched the village for any signs of Astrid as Hiccup went around back. The outhouse and Hiccup's half-completed workshop stood upright and undamaged, and remained unoccupied. Hiccup occasionally worried that Astrid might run afoul of one of his unfinished contraptions and he'd find her unconscious body next to a broken device that had chosen to explode for no good reason. So this most recent iteration of his private workshop was safely away from the cabin, and if he ever found the time and sanity he'd finish building it.

Satisfied that Astrid wasn't lying injured in the backyard, Hiccup went to the backdoor, unlocked it, and peeked his head in. Only silence and shadow abided within. The main room was chiller than the outside air, meaning that no fire had been lit for some time. In fact, it didn't look any different than how it looked this morning, after he and Astrid had said their goodbyes and went off to their respective days. Keeping the door ajar so that Toothless might hear his girly screams if anything happened, Hiccup crept in and looked about the furniture for any notes or clues concerning Astrid's whereabouts.

A cursory inspection suggested nothing nefarious, no additions or subtractions to the homestead. The main room, once his dad's domain, now belonged to Hiccup and Astrid, with Toothless getting the upstairs as his own private roost. It was not likely to remain Toothless's roost once children entered the picture, but then Toothless was okay with sharing the downstairs or even going back to living in a dragon house, so Hiccup didn't think it an issue. The far wall still had all the important mementos hung up near the joint clothes closet – Hiccup and Stoick's matching "breast plate" helmets, Hiccup's old myssteel riding armor, and Astrid's myssteel axe. Artifacts with their own special meaning, but fairly useless in this unprecedented period of peace and prosperity. Hiccup had tried incorporating his old myssteel armor into his wing suit design, but the metal interfered with all the springs. Now it was just ornamentation that he hoped he never had to wear again.

He was about to head upstairs when he spotted a piece of parchment clinging to the folding bed near the fireplace. That he didn't remember seeing this morning. He went over and picked it up, trying to make out the runes in the poor light.

The paper had only six words on it: you should always check the closet.

Given another couple of seconds to mull over the words, Hiccup might have reacted properly to the warning. But he only had one second before the closet door opened behind him, and by then he was too busy to worry about much else.

He heard the creak of the hinges right before the black-clad attacker was upon him, and he managed to turn around in time to meet the assailant head on, for all the good it did him. Hiccup noticed the assailant was wearing a black sack with eyeholes right before the attacker literally jumped on him and wrapped his legs around Hiccup's waist. The attacker's weight and momentum was too much for Hiccup's still-feeble muscles and he yelped in surprise as he fell backwards onto the floor, groaning as his back smacked the uncompromising stone. The attacker then pinned his shoulders to the ground with both hands and proceeded to just sit there and stare at him, as if waiting for Hiccup to try something.

The initial alarm Hiccup had felt at being ambushed quickly faded as the seconds went by. Despite his assailant's attempt at being clandestine, there were more ways to recognize someone than just seeing their face. He didn't struggle at all, choosing to adopt a casual smile and say, "So, now that I'm your prisoner, what do we do next?"

The assailant demonstrated the next phase of her plan by removing her left hand from Hiccup's shoulder, uncovering the bag-mask enough to reveal her mouth, and then bending over to kiss Hiccup nice and warmly on the lips. This went on for a few lovely seconds, and when she finally sat back up Hiccup smiled and said, "Wow, you're a much better kisser than Astrid."

Realizing the prank was up, the assailant swatted Hiccup once playfully and removed her bag-mask entirely. Astrid's beaming smile was a great replacement, though she seemed a bit disappointed at the outcome of her prank.

"Really? Didn't fool you at all?" she said.

"Most assassins don't leave notes out saying where to look for an ambush," said Hiccup. "It makes their job harder."

"I'll remember that for next time," she said. "In the meantime, since I did successfully ambush you, that makes you my prisoner. And you did ask me what I should do with you."

She leaned in again and their lips resumed where they left off, and Hiccup soon found that being a prisoner wasn't always such a terrible thing.


Snotlout continued his nocturnal wandering a bit more nervously than before, heading for the outskirts of the village while marveling at what could only be called a remarkable convergence of good and bad fortune – bad that he ran into Hiccup, the worst possible person to run into, and good that Hiccup's mind was elsewhere and that he didn't bother asking any questions. Maybe the gods were teasing him about his true intentions, warning him with a moment of near-discovery.

But surely there was no real harm here. He wasn't doing anything bad to the tribe. He was just fulfilling a request. So what if it called for a meeting after sundown just outside of the village, and that he wasn't suppose to tell anyone about it, not even his dragon? That didn't automatically make this a bad idea.

The meeting spot was a tad creepy, nestled between a trio of dead oaks and a lot of scraggily brush. It was impossible to be seen from the village or from above. Just the perfect place to be murdered, and he was all alone. Wasn't she supposed to be here already?

"Ah… hello?" he called out to the forest, keeping his voice low. He was hoping for an answer that didn't involve losing any body parts. He wasn't afraid of much, certainly not dragons or fellow Vikings, but there was something innately freaky about being out in the forest in the middle of the night with no one knowing he was gone, so that a pack of wild boars could easily drag him off and…

"Do you have it?"

He told himself that that the high-pitched yelp and panicked jump he just did were the results of super-fast reflexes and a sore throat. Normal awesome Viking behavior in situations like these. It was also the excuse he was going to tell the woman in the dark cloak, the one who was better at sneaking up on people from behind than a Changewing. The purple-haired woman who called herself Random.

Random – what kind of name was Random for a woman? How does being "random" scare off any evil spirits?

"Do you have it, Snot-boy?" Random said, more adamantly this time.

Forgetting all about excuses, Snotlout produced a scroll from his shirt, brushing it off like a gentleman would. She didn't seem to care about such things as she took the scroll and examined it. Snotlout didn't know why she bothered, considering that it was almost too dark to make out his own hands, much less do any reading. But that didn't stop her from looking at it anyway.

When she was satisfied, she slipped the scroll into the depths of her cloak and said, "The list is complete, I assume?"

"Pretty complete," said Snotlout. "I made a copy from Fishlegs's notes. I mean, dragons come and go all the time…"

"I don't expect up-to-date intelligence, Snotlout," Random interjected. "Especially since intelligence isn't exactly your strong suit. Rough numbers will do. Now, onto the next task."

Snotlout was glad it was as dark as it was, as it hid his surprise pretty well. "Next task?"

"Yes, next task." Random looked at him as if this was a no-brainer… or as if she thought Snotlout was a no-brainer. "You didn't think you could become our newest business partner with just one menial task, did you?"

"Menial? Do you know how hard it was to sneak into Fishlegs's room and copy his notes? The floor of his room is completely covered in scratch parchment."

Random's face failed to show any sympathy. "I've been camping out in the sticks for four days now. There is literally nothing to do here that doesn't involve throwing stones at other things. I am bored. I do not like being bored. So if you can't follow instructions, I'm more than happy to pack up and find someone else who wants all the wealth…"

"Wait, wait, I didn't say I wouldn't do it," Snotlout reassured. "I just… I don't get why we have to be so secret about everything."

Random adopted a patient look, the kind parents give their kids when they're saying cute but really annoying things. She walked over to the boorish Viking and began whispering in his ear. "Snotlout, do you want to show up your chief?"

Snotlout felt his insecurities dropping away. Something about her voice… "You know I do."

She moved to his other ear. "Do you want to be known as the Viking who brought unbelievable wealth to his people?"

"Well, duh."

She moved away again, satisfied with the captivated look on Snotlout's face. "Then we can't do this through proper channels. As soon as your chief knows our business, he'll make all the decisions. We have to get this underway before he's made aware, so that's he's forced to go along with us for the good of everybody. Remember, it's better to seek forgiveness than permission."

"You're sure Hiccup will go along with this?" Snotlout wasn't exactly a fan of Hiccup these days, but neither did he want to cross Hiccup openly. Hiccup had a lengthy track record of winning his battles.

"He'll come around… especially with you helping to convince him." From her cloak Random pulled a different scroll and handed it to Snotlout. "Tomorrow morning, Hiccup will receive a letter, the one in your hand. Pretend it came on one of your trade ships. It's an invitation for a meeting with my boss. Hiccup will have never heard of him. No one will have ever heard of him. So I need you to ensure Hiccup agrees to the meeting."

"Me?" said Snotlout. "How do I do that?"

"Use the notes I included in the scroll. Sell it, Snot-boy. That's what business partners do."

"Why don't you do it? I think he might actually trust you more than me."

Random shook her head. "I have places to go and lists to deliver. Consider this the real test of your business skills. Pass, and we'll be seeing you at the meeting. Fail… and we'll be going with someone more savvy."

That was apparently the end of the discussion, as she whirled around and disappeared through the brush, mumbling something about getting the heck off this pile of rocks and dragons.

Snotlout looked down at the scroll in his hand, wondering if he was really up for this. When Random had approached him in secret four days ago, he had felt all kinds of special. A woman, an actual woman, had approached him. That was like having a Red Death dragon fly down from the sky and beg you to ride it – you didn't say no. But as always, it had nothing to do with romance, just wealth… which was certainly a fine alternative. Random had explained what she was after, and it sounded like a good idea to Snotlout. If he could pull this off, everyone in Berk would win, especially him.

But it meant getting on Hiccup's good side again, after several years of doing the exact opposite.


Ever the conscientious dragon, Toothless had overheard the commotion in the cabin and had come to realize that Hiccup and Astrid were having some "Hiccup-Astrid time" already, one of those things humans liked to do alone. So after giving Hiccup and Astrid an adequate amount of "alone time," Toothless managed the front door open with practiced ease, poking his head in to make sure everyone was okay.

Naturally, they were. Hiccup and Astrid were cuddling together on the folding bed near the fireplace, Hiccup having changed out of his wing suit and Astrid having replaced her black garb with her more traditional garb. A meager fire was struggling to grow larger in the pit, but it cast enough light to outline Hiccup and Astrid's contentment, at least until Toothless's appearance had reminded Hiccup that he had left Toothless outside on guard duty the whole time.

"Oh, sorry bud," went the apology. "There's tonight's dinner upstairs."

Toothless knew the routine by now and wasn't the least put out as he spat a blue mini-fireball into the fireplace and made it a proper fire. He gave Hiccup and Astrid a nuzzle each and then quietly slipped up the stairs, where his fish and bedding awaited him.

Marriage customs in Berk hadn't changed much since dragons became part of the tribe, but the dragons themselves added a new wrinkle to the process of merging families. Dragons could get plenty attached to their humans, especially after growing up together, and when a human's attention began to shift to romance and family it didn't always make for smooth transitions with their dragon companions.

It had taken time for Hiccup, Astrid, Toothless, and Beatrix to work out the kinks in their new family dynamic, including one month where Toothless and Beatrix had a territorial dispute that almost burned down the house. But Hiccup came to realize that if you wanted to make it work, you found a way. It just took patience and a large quantity of cod.

"So I take it today's patrol was uneventful," commented Hiccup to Astrid once Toothless had disappeared.

"Same old, same old," she replied, resting her head on his shoulder. "Ruff and Tuff saw a bunch of wild Terrors building a nest on the far side of the island. I can't decide whether to shoo them off or let them stick around for now, but that's what passes for big decisions these days. What makes you ask?"

"Well, I figured most husbands don't get ambushed by their wives if they've had an exciting day."

Astrid laughed at that. "Well, most husbands aren't as distant as you've been lately, so that their wives don't feel the urge to ambush them."

Despite Astrid's light tone, Hiccup caught a bit of concern in Astrid's rebuttal. He didn't want to spoil the mood, but he wasn't one to ignore potential martial flare-ups while they were still at the smoldering stage.

"I haven't been gone that much, have I?" he asked.

She sat up and looked at Hiccup directly, and much to Hiccup's relief there were no signs of disgruntlement in Astrid's eyes. "I don't mean traveling distance, Hiccup. You just seem more preoccupied. And it's not hard to guess why."

"Yeah, the new DR-45 saddles have been a pain in the rear to get made, but Gobber really wants them ready before this year's Snoggletog…"

As expected, she shoved him playfully, laughing. "Seriously, Hiccup. I know you were thrown into being chief a lot earlier than any of us thought you'd be, but you've done a great job so far. Word on the street is pretty positive."

"Word on the street? I didn't know we had streets." It was a phrase that Astrid had picked up during their time in Riki Poka. Didn't work so well in Berk.

Astrid didn't miss a beat. "True, but you're chief now. You could fix that someday."

Hiccup found it hard not to smile. Astrid had that effect on him. Three years of marriage had come and gone in a blink of an eye, yet he felt as much love for Astrid as before their marriage in Riki Poka. Their lives were busy, often insanely so, what with Hiccup's leadership, dragon training, and smithing duties and Astrid firmly in charge of the Dragon Squad and Berk's defenses, and it made their family time more scattered and infrequent (there were complaints from Astrid's parents about why they didn't have kids already). But the time they could free up for each other was enough, and more than that, Astrid was one of two people that kept him sane and strong when the world went insane on him. Toothless got the rest of the credit.

"So what is the actual word on the… dirt paths?" he said.

"Oh, this and that," said Astrid. "People say you're leading like your dad would, putting the village first, keeping us safely out of the affairs of others. I know a lot of people were worried you might run off to fight in some foreign land, or get us in trouble with another clan, or attract a super-powerful monster to our island or…"

"So they were worried that I would be me," he summed up, a frown finally slipping onto his face.

Astrid realized just then how she was sounding, and tried to rectify it. "No, I mean they were worried… not that there was anything wrong with you in the first place, just that it wasn't the same as how your dad did things…"

Hiccup put a hand up to her lips to stop the verbal hemorrhaging. "I get it, Astrid. They're happy I'm doing things like my dad. If they're happy, I'm happy."

Something about the way he said that must not have convinced her, because her expression grew uncertain. "Are you happy, Hiccup? With being chief, I mean?"

Hiccup mulled the question over. Happy? Not really. He apparently was making it work to people's satisfaction, but only because he was doing things like he thought his dad would. Imitating a true leader instead of allowing his Hiccup-centric ways to come forth. Still, if it was working…

"I'm getting there," he finally stated. Not exactly a lie, not exactly the truth.

Unconvinced that Hiccup was as okay with things as he acted, Astrid gave him a warm, reassuring hug. "This isn't something you have to tackle by yourself, Hiccup. You can tell me anything, and we'll figure it out together."

Hiccup hugged her right back, and for a moment he thought about disclosing his substantial uneasiness, but he stopped himself before the words could escape his lips. Telling her wouldn't really change anything. The village needed him doing what he was doing, and if people found out that their new leader was less than eager to do his job, it would only serve to cause dissention and strife.

"If I need to, I will," he said. "But right now, let's leave the important stuff until tomorrow."

"I like that idea," she replied. She relaxed against him and into the folding bed, which was another recent success in Hiccup-inspired engineering, combining the comfort of a bed with the utility of a two-person chair. It was slow to catch on with the rest of the village, though. "I forgot to ask how your day went with Toothless."

"Oh, that," he said. "Pirate ship. Same old, same old."

He almost added the story about the supposed dragon attack on Goose Duck, but again he stopped himself. For the good of Berk, he had to stop poking his nose into non-Berk matters. It pained him to do so, to turn a blind eye to the problems of others, but his dad had a saying for these occasions: a chief protects his own.

So he would, and so the matter was dropped.