Chapter 2 - A Nightmare To Remember

Rincewind found himself led to Snape's room, or at least what he was expecting to be a room but was more like a big scary dungeon with no windows and some spiders but only in the corners of the room. The only light in the room came from outside, where the hall light was in its normal place. As the door slammed behind he was left in the pitchfork black with the creepy butt cool progressor snape. "So, do you prefer to be the big spoon or the little spoon?" Said Snape "just kidding, I don't do that shit lol". Rincewind sighed a sigh of relief "phew, boy, am I glad?", and he was glad. Snape was not sexy, he had nearly no tits, and a tiny black dick like single hundred and thousand. After that they both climbed into bed wearing their pyjamas, Rincewind wore old worn out ones, with holes in them, but the holes did not reveal his boy parts. And snape wore his which were leathery and made from snakes because he was in charge of slithering and all of the slithering children, and they all liked snakes, and reptiles and stuff. They lay down on opposite ends of the bed and did not touch each other and went to sleep.

Snape slept through the night like a baby Snape, but Rincewind was tormented through his slumber and did not know the sweet joy of proper RAM sleep. Ringwind kept having the same recurring dream that always started the same way. That he was back in his house back at the discworld part of the world, and he was on his DiscMacbook watching DiscTube videos with some super hot warrior lady who had big boobs and muscles everywhere that they eye could see, and while he was waiting for the videos to buffer he would look around the room to take in the sights. After a while, the video player just stopped working and Rincewind looked angrily to his right where the hot warrior lady previously was, and she had been replaced with...Profressor Snape!

Snape coyly whispered to him "so, if your internet is down, i guess that means we can play with each other", and then Snape would pull back the covers to reveal his tiny balls and penis that were shrouded like the turin shroud by his wooly mammoth ball hairs. His balls were so tiny but the hair that afro'd out of them was seriously surprising. As Rincewind tried not to look down he looked up and saw that Snap was giving him sex eyes and like a cat, his penis began to grow and grow. It looked like an ice cream cone with really off caramel ice cream on top, "lick it", said Snape. "Lick my lovely creamy goodness and make me feel every taste bud of your lips as you play mouth games with my cock". This was the bad moment for Rincewind, he didn't want to make mouth sex with Snape but he felt like he must. He slowly leered towards it, getting closer. He opened his mouth like a shocked snowman and closed his eyes, took a last breath, and...woke up.

Rincewind woke up in a swimming pool of his own sweat juice, he nearly screamed but it would have woke up Snape who was lying next to him and fully clothed. This same dream happened several tims over the night and each tim brought Rincewind closer and closer to his throbbing confectioners treat. He was worried that he would never be able to see into Snapes' eyes ever again after that long confusing night.

The next morning he woke up with a shitload of that sleep gunk in his eyes, "fuck it, I couldn't sleep last night", Rincewind said. "Why in the heavens not?" Snape said? "I kept having this horrible nightmare where I did things that I would not want to do!" Said Rincewind. Just then, Snape go up and even though he was still wearing his snakey pyjames, all Rincewind could see was his bushy man area and it brought back many bad memories. "Please put some clothes on!" Demanded Rincewind. "Fine, look who's a pissy bitch in the morning, this will affect your sortingness you know?!", recieved Snape. Rincewind didn't care, he didn't know anything about the sorting hat and the houses and what it meant to be slithering.

And so they walked out, Snape leading the way into the big hall where all of the children were sat down at the big long picnic benches and were waiting for the big announcement from Dumbledoor at the end of the room. There was a big microphone in front of his face at all times in this room so he could be heard all the way at the back. "Sit down children" sad Dumbledoor "today we will be greeting a new student into the loving arms of our halls here at Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizerdry. His name is Rincewind and he doesn't have a last name because he is from a far away land in our own world. He is a bit older than you all but he is still probably cool so please don't be a dick to him.". And Rincewind walked up to the front of the hall as everyone clapped their hands to him. "Please sit doon in the chair to be sorted", said McGoniggle. And he sat down. As he sat down some elfy guy came over and helped the talking hat onto Rincewinds face and the hat said "hmmmmmmm… you have a lot of potential for many things in life, you have experience with many parts of the world and have been on many adventures but you are still quite stupid for now. For you will now live in...HOOFLEPOOF!". And just like that Rincewind's raggedy red tunic thing vanished, but he was not butt naked because as soon as it banished, it was replaced with a perfectly fitting top that had the hooflepoof logo on it, which was a big bear like animal that was growling at a tree. Everyone applauded but Rincewind was not happy. "No, I do not want to be rememberd like a big retarded bear, I want to be known from my brave adventures with stupid people where I had to lead the way. I deserve to be a Gryffin!", shouted Rincewind. The hall was silent. Never had such disobedience penetraded the hall. "Ass you wish" said the hat, and poof! He was a gryffindoor. Everyone celebrated and threw their hats in the air and if they didn't have hats they threw their food for Mr Filch and his stupid cat to clean up later. Rincewind then had to sit down somewhere.